Delaware Valley College - Cornucopia Yearbook (Doylestown, PA)

Page 20 text:

THE CLEANER I, Joe Stri11ger, do pass on to the most apable and deserving man in the .Iuniorc Class the most honorable position of Captain of the 1924 Football Team of Farm School. Best O'Luc-k. I, hlorris Blush Ostrolenk, alias 1Iodest Ostyf' wish upon the next manager, the scheduling of games and Freshmen on the A. A. field, to learn the culture of grass and how to retard its growth thus doing away with Fresh- men Lawn IXIower Powerf, I. Louis Egra Goldich, will to hlark Fats Goldstein the three greenhouses, interest thereof and full charge of the famous fat reducing boilers to be given a double dose of coal every hour to nourish them back to normalcy due to underfeeding coming from that long remembered line, 'cGee, it's nice' to get up in the morning. but, it's nicer to lie in bedf' I, Abe Shevitz, alias Patrick Henry of Farm Sc-hooll' do transfer to Alfred Alfalfa Redsn Elfrey the movie machine and license also along with the job of Sunday lNIovies and my latest secret, c'I'Iow to become a convincing speaker. To the undergraduates we leave the school Cmost of it? and some more to be added, as we found it, less and plus a few things Qmostly lessj to be used as dormitories and not as smoke houses which includes the first Hoor of Segal Hall to be dispensed with as a lounging room for the whole school when the new dormitory is glued together. I, Joe Berman. naturalist of the class of '24, leave to Reds Elfrey, 1ny ability to trap. To Georgie Green, I leave my position as fullback, and to the rest my plea to continue the work I began by exterminating the sl-:unks and muskrats of Bucks County. Seal affixed this Twenty-second day of January, 192-L, exactly five years and eight months after prohibition. YE Sisxroas. V CLASS Morro IM E ILL ELL CLASS FLoWER I ELLOVV ARNATION 1 ft Page IFIQIIIICFI1

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THE CLEA NER ilaft will mth Testament nt the Glass of illtnentpzjfnur E, THE Class of 192-I-, of the National Farm School, of the County of Bucks, of the State of 1'ennsylvania. United States of Ainerica, being three years of age, and not under the influences of either the Pythagorean proposition, or the magnetic attractions of a barrel of hard cider, or infected with the disease germ Hoocl1icora, feeling that the bitter end is at last at hand. snatch this opportunity to exude the mystic power of Postum imbibed in the Hashroom, or a dark corner of the beanery. pleading momentary abnormal insanity, and do hereby give, will, bequeath, dedi- cate Cor in other wordsj, dispose of in this, our last will and testament, our individual and acquired properties, merits and demerits collectively to those so fortunate as to follow in our most. noble benign footsteps to wit: I. Samuel Cahan, President of the Senior Class. do bequeath this honorable position to 1Iartin II. Cohien of the Junior Class, to continue with the good work that our class started. I. Samuel Filgut. alias Kid Form, do will to Ed. Hardiman the most valued volume of mine, How to attain and keep in form. I. Nathan Brewer, Chief Guelt Snatcher of the Senior Class, do in bank- ruptcy's cause tdue to this Commence- ment Issuej wish upon Harry Rabinowitz the TASK of keeping tif that is possiblej the Class Treasury supplied with Shillings. I, Irving A. Victor, Editor of the GLEAXER. after worthy consideration of the fact, do when a new leaf is turned bestow upon Froggie ltinnenberg my worthy position. Yes! Try and get it, Froggie. I, Francis Entwisle, Tennis Shark and hIanager. do leave to Georgie Green the promising title of Tennis Champ of N. F. S., the messy job of altering and caring for the tennis courts, to go along with my ribbons and cups Cshaving ones includedj. I, Sidney J. lIichaels. alias 'iSir Sid Mikef' after a thoughtful investigation do transfer my -locky Club Licensef' to Cop Gottlieb along with a free meal, each time a horse is gotten at Childs'. I, Nathaniel Always Late Topp, do hand down to VVeinnie Horwitz my well earned title Better Late than not at all' along with my most valuable collections of magazines and papers dating back to Noalfs time. I, Samuel Business Blau Packer, alias Leg iNIassager Sam, do in sound and unsound mind Cmostly unsoundj hand over to Solis Galob, my newspaper establishment along with my Non Skid, one mule Cselfstartingj bike, hereby trained for cross-campus flights only. I, Burton Klein, Chief Condensed and Evaporated iN'Iilk Tester of Farm School , do transfer to Ed. Gordon flf1iNfCl7I.lI relative of Gordens llilk Companyj the title of Class Scribe along with a. dozen or more perfectly good girls' ad- dresses to be used frequently. I. E. Elliott. alias Pitching lIuscle Stud, when in the course of some freak event do hand over to Ed. Form Hardiman the dope of 1Iy Successful Career as a Pitcher at N. F. Page Scuslihfe I1

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THE CLEANER lass EAR Ye. Oh! mcn of Lugarro, I return to our bclovcd temple of Yambubu after 1ny journey in Ifgoto among the Gurivi. On the fifty-seventh day of hIargoma. while the moon was yet as the eye of a wondering child. I ascended to the snow upon the Rotanzo. to seek the death that lurks there. I went high, till I reached the top, and there my eyes beheld the land of the Gurivi of Ugoto. I descended into their midst and they greeted me in a tongue I did not understand. They showed me temples and castles more beautiful than those in Lugarro. I soon learned their language and their customs. The snow of the mountain tops some- times descends to the plains. and it was in a time like this that I was taken to a land. far beyond the waters. called America. They have divided this land into many parts, but I was taken to a portion of that land named Pennsylvania. On a day which they call twenty-first of February. the day that is our seventy- fifth of llargoma, they showed me plains in which were many miles C a word used to show one-half of a casiloi of edo and mola which they call corn and wheat. I saw many taper and sanlo which they told me were called by them as cows and horses. I asked them where men learned to care for such things. I was told that on the following day a group of young men were to leave an institution, pre- pared to take the fields under their care, and raise the food for their brethren. On the Qtlnd of February we saw the fortieth group of men leave that school, a place where people study, to carry on the work of those who went before them. tupbenp I asked to see the work of thc men who went before them, Upon this request I was taken to a place called a farm. The owner of this place was a man who had left the school I had seen, fifteen years before. His name was Stringer. In Ifgota a man has two names. Before the word Stringer he had a name which was YY. Joe. He took us into his wigwam which was made of wood and there I met many persons, young and old. One skatino was there who was his wife. Around her were grouped the younger persons, twelve in number. The older persons were men who were friends of this farmer. They were there for council with Stringer to build a new castle at the school I had seen. They said it was to hold the cows of that school. They first conceived the idea when the school itself at. one time had spoken of its construction. These men had left this school at the same time Stringer left it. The names of these men were Elliott. Entwisle, Goldich and Packer. After their council was over I asked to see the work that these men were doing. I was first taken to a grey- stone castle. In it were many cages, and in each cage was a man. I soon learned that these men were kept there for taking things that belonged to others. They were under the care of the man named Elliott. These men were apparently happy since they called their home Sing Sing. I then wished to purchase for myself some apparel, such as was worn by the men of Ugoto. I was taken to a large building called a Store. Here 1 again met the man called Entwisle. He was supervising the selling of the store's Page .Yz'm'lec11