Delaware Valley College - Cornucopia Yearbook (Doylestown, PA)

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THE GLEANER 'J Glancing at the card Iinoticed I would have to pass the store to reach my destination, so I decided to stop in and see what they would offer me in the way of bargains As I approached the store, an announcement in one of the windows assured me that I was about to meet an- other member of the 19 class. The sign read: Revolution on all Clothes Prices are Boiling Buy while they are Hot Special Outfitters of Ypsals . That was enough, I had no need to read further, revolutions and Jack Miller were one and the same. As I entered the store a tall, young fellow, who seemed to be the clerk, walked over to me. Is Mr. Miller in?', I asked of him. Hes never in the store, he replied, When business is good, he speaks for the Capitalists and when its slackg he's heart and soul for the Socialists. The clerk was rather talkative and continued without questioning. That fellow don't take any interest in his wife and nine children at all,-I've seen him many times with young girls. This was enough to convince me that Miller had not changed any since he had left the school. When I returned to the oflice, I found a note on my desk which advised me to go to Philadelphia for an inter- view with the divorcees Goldsmith vs. Mrs. Nauma Feine Goldsmith. I thought I had better see the female in the case first, as she was the one who had started the pro- ceedings. She told me that she felt herself entirely right in wishing to separate and immediately poured out her grievances to me. My husband would bring home his pay envelope Saturday nights and when I would ask him for my allowance he would feign deafness. Thru this cunning method I never got a cent from him since wel was married. One night I plucked up courage and de- cided to test him. So, while he was deeply engrossed in one of the novels, Mr. Young's grandfather donated to him, I dropped a coin behind him. I-Ie jumped up quickly as if from a nightmare and recovered the coin, he thought he had dropped. I immediately opened pro- ceedings against him,', she finished abruptly. As far as I was concerned, I had enough material for a newspaper writeup, and bidding her adieu, I wished her the best of luck, for I felt that she was abso- lutely right in her Views,

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12 THE GLEANER new species of oats, for which discovery the Palestinian Government tendered him a large tract of land. He sold this land to Farm School which they are now using for post-graduate courses. so thru this method the colony was easily settled. He invited mc to stay for supper, but assuring him that my business required my presence I left, with many thanks for the pardon he promised to get. The ride back was long and monotonous, and wish- ing to while away the hours, I purchased an American magazine, which l had always enjoyed reading even at the school. A full page advertisement to this effect, attracted my attention. Coach Wolf says: - The Hutzpah College football team w'as able to beat the strong Pitt eleven, by using my strong inimat- able onions. ' In Onions there is Strength. USE WOLF'S ONIONS Address, Onionville Farm, Abyssinia, Africa It was nothing less than one would have expected, for the Gleaner once stated that Wolf, Football and Onions was a trio, unseparable. In New York, I was forced to walk thru the Bowery due to subway operations along Broadway. I felt rather hungry but not having time to dine in a restaurant, I stopped at one of the stands near the curb, What seemed to draw me to this stand was a sign placed over an oven of sizzling frankfurters. Katz's three-legged sausages. Kan't be Kompared to any. I purchased a few, bit one, dropped them into a barrel, placed there for that purpose and agreed fully with the sign. But by this time I had associated that sign with the peddler and shaking his hands vigorously I informed him of my personage. After our greetings had subsided, he drew a card from his pocket and said, If you ever need a good suit visit this store, they got an- tiques but they wear wonderful. With the price of lemon peels sky high, and chicken feathers at a premium, the cotton production in the South is decidedly on the de- crease. but still I recommend this store to you, because I get part of the profits on all the customers I send, so give them a trial.

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' THE GLEANER While purchasing ni yticket to return to the Windy City, I heard a loud, rmnbling sound, which resembled a train making ready to leave the station. Not. relishing a long wait, I rushed unto the platform, only to find that the rumbling issued from the vocal organs of the train announcer. To imagine that so much noise could come fro inhuman throat was almost unbelievable. But my thoughts drifted for a while and I pictured Chapel services at Farm School. I could hear Prof. Ostrolenk announce the number of the hymn and then I saw the assemblage rise. Immediately the professors pleasant features changed to a worried look. In contrasting the chapel incident with the man nearby, I concluded that it was none other than Rabinowitz as he had always been the centre of the chapel uproars. My train was due to leave in a few minutes so I had no time to speak to hiu1. ' I seated myself comfortably in the train and then my thoughts seemed to linger constantly on the won- derful successes of some of my former classmates. While in deep reverie, a screetchy, wierd sort of a voice, seemed to reach me from the further end of the car. As the voice came nearer I could distinguish what it was try- ing to say. Get your cigarettes, candy and chewing gum and the latest song, with a Butte-ful tune, Farm School Melody. I fairly jumped out of seat for it surely was Wm. Greenberg, I had almost reached him when the train suddenly swerved. We were just crossing the Delaware River and the engineer must have lost control, for I was thrown from my feet and in a half conscious mood, I could hear the cars rip through the iron girders and splash into the icy waters below. I then lost conscious- ness and upon awakening my sensations were varied. I seemed to be plunging down the icy depths of water. Suddenly my downward career was abruptly checked. My shoulder seemed held down by some huge weight. Thru dim consciousness I heard a stentorian voice be- low, Say, young fellow, Doylestown is our last stop. ' I gazed 'round in wonderment and when my eye fell upon the conductor, who had been vainly trying to awake me from my slumbers, I realized that I had just returned from Philadelphia after a wild time at the Autornat and that I was in the Metropolis of Bucks county and not the icy waters of the Delaware,