Delaware Valley College - Cornucopia Yearbook (Doylestown, PA)

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26 THE CLEANER MENU QA Bill of Fare-welll Vorspice Running Orthoptera Soup Myxobacteriacelae- A mixture of Micrococcus, Streptococcus and Dyplococcus Bouillon A sample of Farm School Old Reliable Punch Actinomyces Ullhis Punch caus- lces Frozen Vibrio, served with windpuffs , To Mr. Young, whose pres- ence in an executive capacity on all momemtous occasions, such as hauling manure, and weeding onions, is marked by his pompous and majestic attire, of which the masterpiece is his fashionable Tuxedo, we be- queath a stately Prince Albert, to be edged with brass so that it may more favorably compete with the lengthy record set by its predecessor. This we lav- ishly bestow upon him for two reasons, firstly, in order that he may retain the dignity Of his grande-ur on the aforemention- ed occasions, as we have notic- ed that his present frock is fray- ed beyond all hope of repair and fear that it is gradually vanish- ing into the atmosphere, and secondly, as we propose to DFG' serve the prehistoric signi- cance of his present Tuxedo by making it the iirst contribution for the establishment of a mu- seum of Art at Lasker Hall. One guiless freshman, Syd- ney Brunwasser, who on all op- portunities gives vent 'to his deep emotions by a moist dia- bolical guffaw, disturbing the equanimity of Miss Abrams and ruffling the calm waters of Mr. Bishop's peace of mind-receiv- ing thereby the piece of his mind-we place under the tute- lage of Mr. Jack Miller, our mu- sical artist, so that his unique and indescribable extravagan- za of a laugh may be cultivated for future service to aid Messiah at the Ressurection of the Dead. To the juvenile Sammy Greenberg, who has won the un- disputed and enviable title of the champion dog-eater of Farm School, we leave that sleek and saporous canine, Pedro, who, we hope, after he has passed through Mis s Churchman's sausage-grinde, will furlnish a sumptuous repast, which for once will fill the void in his stomach and the hollow in his legs. l To you erstwhile J uniors, who four score and seventeen weeks ago brought forth in this school a newi organization conceived in hope and laboring under the

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THE CLEANER ill of glass 1915 John B. McCool, Jr. Friends, Schoolmates, Faculty, lend me your ears. I come not to praise Eighteen , but to leave our will. The evil that men do lives af- ter them, The good is oft interred with their bones- So we leave you our bones, that the good may reside with you. Thus shall ye know that we, the Graduating Class of the National Farm School, being magnanimous in spirit and gen- erous in disposition, firmly be- lieving in that most Holy and Sacred Maxim , To Him who hath, shall be given, and to Him who hath not, shall be tak- en even that which he hath, do hereby solemnly affirm this to be our last Will and Testa- ment. Of the numerous properties, that we have openly and other- wise acquired, wfe do bequeath and bestow, as follows: ' To our beloved Director, Mr. Ostrolenk, we leave the fulfill- ment of his ambitious and nev- er-fading dream, namely, 500 students of the true agricultur- al type, as exemplified in the personage of one Leo Bustem Coriginally Buskinj, this daring adventuresome band to be im- ported from such highly cultur- ed habitats as Camden, Abyssin- ia, Mexico and the stockyards of Chicago. To our venerable Professor, Mr. Bishop, whose radical opin- ions have frequently startled the Farm School world, we beg to present the mass of Socialist propaganda literature to be found in the library of Mr. Har- mon Kraft, in particular the fol- loying passionate volunmes: The Socialist Philosophy of the 'Yaller' Cow? My Dag, His Dog, and Capitalism. and do also bestow upon him a life sentence as chairman of the Bolsheviki Party. May he and Trotzky unite in the common brotherhood of lofty ideals! Upon our Dairy and Poultry Instructor, Mr. Toor, who vain- ly endeavored to produce a high butter fat content in eggs, yet managed to secure a high percentage of blow-outs in his Buick, we humbly confer two minor details by which his car might possibly benefit, namely, a new body and a new engine. Unto Mr. Markovitch, our masterful Biological Professor, and profound exponent of the Bible, whose presence on this earth has been generally attri- buted to his devout adherence to the principles of Fletcherism, unfortunately for those who have been converted to the cause and suffered thereby, we offer this menu, which we as- offer him, when parltaken of, will remove all desire for fur- ther food:-

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THE GLEANER 27 idiosyncracies of an hallucina- tion that farming was a deli- cate and dainty profession, and have since learned better, through our guidance and a lit- tle help from the faculty, we leave 'this Farm School Gold Mine, a glittering heap situated in the rear of the Main Barn. Guard it carefully, watch tend- erly o'er its welfare, for remem- ber that it is the farmer's proffit, yea, his truest Liberty Bond. And you, Freshmen-No longer shall ye be as blots on the beautiful landscape, nor as derelicts on the ocean of life, for today we loosen the fetters which have held ye fast to your restricted world, for today we lift thee on the wings of lofty aspir- ations and final realizations in- to the celestial realms of Jun- iorhood. Now you may trans- fer your Freshman caps, signs ,f insigniiicance, which we on you for the mere pittance of fifty shekels, to your incoming successors, but you shall re- member to be lenient with them, for though they shall be a green crop, you have but just matured. Being conscious of the uncer- tainity of your lives, since our all-protecting care has been withdrawn from you, and com- placently recognizing our men- tal and moral superiority, we make all effort to see that you, our beneficiaries, duly receive all that we have so profusely showered upon you. In witness whereof, We, the Class of Nine- teen Hundred and Eighteen, do, hereby, on this tlwenty-fourth day of February, 1918, sign our names and affix our seal to this Testament, the final revelation of our goodwill. Sworn to before: Izzie A. Nutt, A-dam Swindler, Augusta Wind, Hugo Onn, Attorneys-at-Law. .1-.L-,1-1 J .