Delaware Valley College - Cornucopia Yearbook (Doylestown, PA)

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THE CLEANER ill of glass 1915 John B. McCool, Jr. Friends, Schoolmates, Faculty, lend me your ears. I come not to praise Eighteen , but to leave our will. The evil that men do lives af- ter them, The good is oft interred with their bones- So we leave you our bones, that the good may reside with you. Thus shall ye know that we, the Graduating Class of the National Farm School, being magnanimous in spirit and gen- erous in disposition, firmly be- lieving in that most Holy and Sacred Maxim , To Him who hath, shall be given, and to Him who hath not, shall be tak- en even that which he hath, do hereby solemnly affirm this to be our last Will and Testa- ment. Of the numerous properties, that we have openly and other- wise acquired, wfe do bequeath and bestow, as follows: ' To our beloved Director, Mr. Ostrolenk, we leave the fulfill- ment of his ambitious and nev- er-fading dream, namely, 500 students of the true agricultur- al type, as exemplified in the personage of one Leo Bustem Coriginally Buskinj, this daring adventuresome band to be im- ported from such highly cultur- ed habitats as Camden, Abyssin- ia, Mexico and the stockyards of Chicago. To our venerable Professor, Mr. Bishop, whose radical opin- ions have frequently startled the Farm School world, we beg to present the mass of Socialist propaganda literature to be found in the library of Mr. Har- mon Kraft, in particular the fol- loying passionate volunmes: The Socialist Philosophy of the 'Yaller' Cow? My Dag, His Dog, and Capitalism. and do also bestow upon him a life sentence as chairman of the Bolsheviki Party. May he and Trotzky unite in the common brotherhood of lofty ideals! Upon our Dairy and Poultry Instructor, Mr. Toor, who vain- ly endeavored to produce a high butter fat content in eggs, yet managed to secure a high percentage of blow-outs in his Buick, we humbly confer two minor details by which his car might possibly benefit, namely, a new body and a new engine. Unto Mr. Markovitch, our masterful Biological Professor, and profound exponent of the Bible, whose presence on this earth has been generally attri- buted to his devout adherence to the principles of Fletcherism, unfortunately for those who have been converted to the cause and suffered thereby, we offer this menu, which we as- offer him, when parltaken of, will remove all desire for fur- ther food:-

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24 Q THE CLEANER me that if I took one look at his clothing, I would be over- come by their extraordinary qualities. While I was inspecting his line of goods, I heard from the kitchen a femine voice shout, Mawritz, the baby's cryin. Aw sher opj' he yelled back, Business before plea- sure. . Where had I hear those first three words of his? Ah, I re- membered, and breathlessly asked him if his name was Mor- ris Mayer. He nodded assent. When I told hini who I was, a hubbub followed and though I never suspected him of being a kissing bug before, I was con- vinced of it now. I remained with him for several hours be- fore I took my departure. A strong wind had sprung up in the meanwhile. Dark and threatening clouds loomed over- head. The people in the streets increased their pace and hurried along for fear of getting caught in the storm, which menaced us. Soon the storm broke. There was a terriflic downpour, the wind driving it along like a hur- ricane. I felt myself getting wet through and through. I shivered and trembled violently. A peal of thunder, which shook the earth, was followed by a blinding flash of lightning. ' The. brilliancy of it dazzled me and,-. When I awoke, a, number of fellows were dashing water into my face and yelling for more. My spluttering prevented me from telling them to stop, but I raised a rernonstrative hand. Unheeding, hey dashed another bucket of water into my face, which brought me to my senses. I remembered that I had been grooming Algene's hind legs, and I realized that she had evi- dently kicked me in the head. Are you hurt, Cutey? cried Becker. No, I answered, as I uncon- sciously rubbed a lump on my head. Then I vaguely heard Mr. Kraft chirp in, Wal, I always knew Kunis had a solid head. FAREWELL SONG By H. Schunman and J. Levitch School of our youth, we bid thee fare- well, Dear Alma Mater, parting's night, May mem'ries dear, of Farm School cheer Ne'er be forgotten, fade or die. Oft welll recall, when in the thrall Of life's eternal, ceaseless round, The days of pleasure, ffrienidshipfls treasure, In Farm School's halls, sought and found. Thus wil renew, in our hearts e'er true, The thoughts of boist'rous Fresh- man days. When thru the year, in blissful cheer, NVe -blithely wended guilless ways. ways. Once more reveal. our Junior zeal Precious wisdom to display 5 With love supreme an-d fond esteem, We nursed the freshles thru their stay. As Seniors tried, in loyal pride, YVe strove to honor and uphold Farm Scho-ol's name, her Widespread fame, And her proud colors-Green and Gold. School of our youth, we 'bid thee fare- well, Dear Alma Mater, parting's nighg May mem'ries dear, of Farm School cheer Ne'er -be forgotten, fade or die. Music from Vale CEton Songl.

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26 THE CLEANER MENU QA Bill of Fare-welll Vorspice Running Orthoptera Soup Myxobacteriacelae- A mixture of Micrococcus, Streptococcus and Dyplococcus Bouillon A sample of Farm School Old Reliable Punch Actinomyces Ullhis Punch caus- lces Frozen Vibrio, served with windpuffs , To Mr. Young, whose pres- ence in an executive capacity on all momemtous occasions, such as hauling manure, and weeding onions, is marked by his pompous and majestic attire, of which the masterpiece is his fashionable Tuxedo, we be- queath a stately Prince Albert, to be edged with brass so that it may more favorably compete with the lengthy record set by its predecessor. This we lav- ishly bestow upon him for two reasons, firstly, in order that he may retain the dignity Of his grande-ur on the aforemention- ed occasions, as we have notic- ed that his present frock is fray- ed beyond all hope of repair and fear that it is gradually vanish- ing into the atmosphere, and secondly, as we propose to DFG' serve the prehistoric signi- cance of his present Tuxedo by making it the iirst contribution for the establishment of a mu- seum of Art at Lasker Hall. One guiless freshman, Syd- ney Brunwasser, who on all op- portunities gives vent 'to his deep emotions by a moist dia- bolical guffaw, disturbing the equanimity of Miss Abrams and ruffling the calm waters of Mr. Bishop's peace of mind-receiv- ing thereby the piece of his mind-we place under the tute- lage of Mr. Jack Miller, our mu- sical artist, so that his unique and indescribable extravagan- za of a laugh may be cultivated for future service to aid Messiah at the Ressurection of the Dead. To the juvenile Sammy Greenberg, who has won the un- disputed and enviable title of the champion dog-eater of Farm School, we leave that sleek and saporous canine, Pedro, who, we hope, after he has passed through Mis s Churchman's sausage-grinde, will furlnish a sumptuous repast, which for once will fill the void in his stomach and the hollow in his legs. l To you erstwhile J uniors, who four score and seventeen weeks ago brought forth in this school a newi organization conceived in hope and laboring under the