Delaware Valley College - Cornucopia Yearbook (Doylestown, PA)

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24 Q THE CLEANER me that if I took one look at his clothing, I would be over- come by their extraordinary qualities. While I was inspecting his line of goods, I heard from the kitchen a femine voice shout, Mawritz, the baby's cryin. Aw sher opj' he yelled back, Business before plea- sure. . Where had I hear those first three words of his? Ah, I re- membered, and breathlessly asked him if his name was Mor- ris Mayer. He nodded assent. When I told hini who I was, a hubbub followed and though I never suspected him of being a kissing bug before, I was con- vinced of it now. I remained with him for several hours be- fore I took my departure. A strong wind had sprung up in the meanwhile. Dark and threatening clouds loomed over- head. The people in the streets increased their pace and hurried along for fear of getting caught in the storm, which menaced us. Soon the storm broke. There was a terriflic downpour, the wind driving it along like a hur- ricane. I felt myself getting wet through and through. I shivered and trembled violently. A peal of thunder, which shook the earth, was followed by a blinding flash of lightning. ' The. brilliancy of it dazzled me and,-. When I awoke, a, number of fellows were dashing water into my face and yelling for more. My spluttering prevented me from telling them to stop, but I raised a rernonstrative hand. Unheeding, hey dashed another bucket of water into my face, which brought me to my senses. I remembered that I had been grooming Algene's hind legs, and I realized that she had evi- dently kicked me in the head. Are you hurt, Cutey? cried Becker. No, I answered, as I uncon- sciously rubbed a lump on my head. Then I vaguely heard Mr. Kraft chirp in, Wal, I always knew Kunis had a solid head. FAREWELL SONG By H. Schunman and J. Levitch School of our youth, we bid thee fare- well, Dear Alma Mater, parting's night, May mem'ries dear, of Farm School cheer Ne'er be forgotten, fade or die. Oft welll recall, when in the thrall Of life's eternal, ceaseless round, The days of pleasure, ffrienidshipfls treasure, In Farm School's halls, sought and found. Thus wil renew, in our hearts e'er true, The thoughts of boist'rous Fresh- man days. When thru the year, in blissful cheer, NVe -blithely wended guilless ways. ways. Once more reveal. our Junior zeal Precious wisdom to display 5 With love supreme an-d fond esteem, We nursed the freshles thru their stay. As Seniors tried, in loyal pride, YVe strove to honor and uphold Farm Scho-ol's name, her Widespread fame, And her proud colors-Green and Gold. School of our youth, we 'bid thee fare- well, Dear Alma Mater, parting's nighg May mem'ries dear, of Farm School cheer Ne'er -be forgotten, fade or die. Music from Vale CEton Songl.

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I THE GLEANER v 23 I left Halpern when I receiv- ed an important letter from the War Department at Washin- ton. When my busines had been attended to at the department, I took a stroll through the Capi- toy. In a business section down- town, on o11e of the corners, I was attracted by a thin-looking and aged man, who was sitting on a box, singing, or rather how- ling at the top of his voice, and playing an accordion. He w'ore a pair of dark eyeglasses and from his neck was suspended a sign Help the Blind . Beside him. was a cup to receive the contributions. I approached him and dropped a coin into the cup. Thinking fthat he was perhaps a victim of the Great War I questioned him about his blindness. This question drew from him a long, sad tale concerning his misfortune. In the midst of his discourse he uddenly jumped up and cried out, I'll be h-h-hanged if t-t-this ain't Cutey! I c-c-c-could recognize you even if you had b-b-both arms off. I was as- tonished that this imposter was none other than Dolly Sherman. He then proceeded to tell me the story of his life. He had four wives, all of whom had left him on acount of his singing. Poor fools, said he. T-t-they could not appreciate g-g-g-good music. Knowing him of old, my sympathies lay with his run- away wives. Well, he contin- ued, as I had no one to support me, I had to resort to this scheme. I haven't had a square meal in a d-d-dog's age. See- ing that he was about to col- lapse, I hurriedly packed his paraphernalia and pulled him to the nearest saloon. As we ap- proached the bar, my eye was attracted by a huge sign read- mg: FREE MUSH AND SPUDS WITH EVERY DRINK Still wondering, I turned to the bartender and asked him what sort of a drink he had. All kinds, from those as weak as whiskey to those as strong as N. E. S. TEA. This remark strengthened my suspicion that the bartender was a Farm School man. I asked him his name and was overjoyed to learn that he was John B. McCool. I knew that there was only one original home for that combination of mush and spuds. After discuss- ing some ancient history, we separated. On returning to New York the next day, I made my way to the Hotel Morebills. As I was passing through the Bowery, I felt a vigorous tug at my arm. Mishter! Mishter! I vant to see you for vun minute ,vill you? The man was short and stout, wearin g thread-bare, shab- by clothes, and the appearance of his face would evidently have beneiitted by a grealter intimacy with a razor. He half pushed and pulled me into a store, with his arm around my waist. When we entered, he began to dilate on the supremacy of his wearing apparel and assured

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THE CLEANER ill of glass 1915 John B. McCool, Jr. Friends, Schoolmates, Faculty, lend me your ears. I come not to praise Eighteen , but to leave our will. The evil that men do lives af- ter them, The good is oft interred with their bones- So we leave you our bones, that the good may reside with you. Thus shall ye know that we, the Graduating Class of the National Farm School, being magnanimous in spirit and gen- erous in disposition, firmly be- lieving in that most Holy and Sacred Maxim , To Him who hath, shall be given, and to Him who hath not, shall be tak- en even that which he hath, do hereby solemnly affirm this to be our last Will and Testa- ment. Of the numerous properties, that we have openly and other- wise acquired, wfe do bequeath and bestow, as follows: ' To our beloved Director, Mr. Ostrolenk, we leave the fulfill- ment of his ambitious and nev- er-fading dream, namely, 500 students of the true agricultur- al type, as exemplified in the personage of one Leo Bustem Coriginally Buskinj, this daring adventuresome band to be im- ported from such highly cultur- ed habitats as Camden, Abyssin- ia, Mexico and the stockyards of Chicago. To our venerable Professor, Mr. Bishop, whose radical opin- ions have frequently startled the Farm School world, we beg to present the mass of Socialist propaganda literature to be found in the library of Mr. Har- mon Kraft, in particular the fol- loying passionate volunmes: The Socialist Philosophy of the 'Yaller' Cow? My Dag, His Dog, and Capitalism. and do also bestow upon him a life sentence as chairman of the Bolsheviki Party. May he and Trotzky unite in the common brotherhood of lofty ideals! Upon our Dairy and Poultry Instructor, Mr. Toor, who vain- ly endeavored to produce a high butter fat content in eggs, yet managed to secure a high percentage of blow-outs in his Buick, we humbly confer two minor details by which his car might possibly benefit, namely, a new body and a new engine. Unto Mr. Markovitch, our masterful Biological Professor, and profound exponent of the Bible, whose presence on this earth has been generally attri- buted to his devout adherence to the principles of Fletcherism, unfortunately for those who have been converted to the cause and suffered thereby, we offer this menu, which we as- offer him, when parltaken of, will remove all desire for fur- ther food:-