Delaware Valley College - Cornucopia Yearbook (Doylestown, PA)

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THE CLEANER l7 used to aid her in teaching fungi and molds. They are a mono- graph from the birth to the end of a clam chowder. To Mr, Harnish, our well-known a bag of Lay poultry professor, or Go Bust Feed. composed of the following ration: 500 lbs, of dyna- mite, 300 lbs. of gun cotton, 200 lbs. of calcium carbide. To be fed daily to the lone gander in the upper yard until he lays. We request that our executors who are the following: Mr. W. X. Greenberg, of Butte, Mont.: Mr. T.. S, Menas, of Philadelphia: Mr. A. Y. Sherman, of Philadelphia, shall endeavor to do all that lies in their power to do justice to the following beneficiaries: 1 Mr. Harmon Kraft, a new roof on his dwelling house sand, until same is completed, a pair of rub- ber boots to wade thru said domi- cile. Also a can of pork and beans. To Mr. Howard Young who, during all his stay at this institu- tion, has taught most of us efficient and practical farming, as a sign of our gratitude to himi, the first pin ever worn by a loyal and true Mason- a safety pin. All other personal property, con- sisting of the following earthly re- mains, we relinquish to our truest and most liberal-minded teacher. Mr. Bishop. whose progressive. wide views all of us have cherished forever and aye: Socialism, by Morris llilquitt: one-half of a year's subscription to The Appeal to Reason: one-half of a year's subscription of The Christ- iun Science Monitor. For our worthy and benevolent matrons, who were here during our stay at this celestial realm, we wish to leave our humble and sincere regrets at the lack of appreciation for their food and medicine. First, their forbearance and patience at times when we were ill. Secondly, their humane, kind, generous feel- ing toward' us at very short in- tervals. Too much can not be said in praise of their rather de- licious food. To one veterinary scientist, Doc Murphy, we bequeath the tol- lowing: Doc Munyon's Pain Cure, Christian Science as a Healer. Wliat Can't Be Cured Must Be Endured. To the class of 1918 we bestow a heritage of hlustice. VVe being of just and truthful habits. request the said class shall obey all rules and regulations in their cubicles, includ- ing Mr. Allman's Rules in the Greenhouse. They are the essence of blustice. But, in order to restore tranquillity and peace of mind to some members of this class, we rc- quest that when in doubt about any rule to turn to the Bible for further particulars. To thenclass of 1919. ive give our hearty and fervent prayers that they may become colony leaders, prominent scientific agriculturists and farm hands. Codicil I. XYe also request our honorable executors to care tor the folloxving minors: Mr. Lieb, that he may become a useful member of socrety. bc per- mitted to sojourn at this habitat and be put under the fatherly care of Mr. Bishop. Mr, lfishman, whose voice and

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THE GLEANER 19 manners are such as to act like a magnet toward the fair sex, be allowed permission to have a bevy of beautiful damsels while at work. In witness whereof, we, the undersigned, do hereby swear and declare this to be our last will and testament. ...i l. PROPHECY BY GoLUB and DRUCKERMANX The year 1925 found me in wretched condition, and I was re- duced to wend my way for a meal in a cheap restaurant. The food served to me was rather delicious. An aroma of peculiar and far- reaching, sweet-scented odor dif- fused itself. It was a great tempta- tion to me, and I devoured it raven- ously. And,'1o and behold! I fell into a swoon, and I conceived a visio-n. A crowd of people were surg- ing and moving and an angry hum arose from their midst. There stood a man whose lengthy and windy sermon seemed to cause the disturbance. I was stupefied to be- hold my staunch classmate, Benja- min Smith, arguing for Mr. Nathan Golub, the people's choice, who would- give careful consideration to their demands, running on the workmen's party. The Social Bomb Throwing League. I want- ed to get up and speak for him. too. but just then the speaker descend- ed. and a partisan introduced Mr. Golub, the candidate for Congress. The speaker, after many haws and hems. bowed to the crowd and began the onslaught, Our party will light to obtain free rides for downtrodden mil- lionaires, beer for all true Prohibi- ' lielivereil by Benjamin Smith. tionists and jobs for all that were never out of work. This was vigorously applauded. Then Mr. Smith, with a beaming counte- nance, capitalized at S50,000, spoke. My fellow-sufferers, friends and voters: It is not for my bene- fit, but for your own, that I ask you to vote for the candidate. But he was suddenly interrupted by a seedy-looking fellow who seemed tobe on the outs. I ain't going to have a bomber elected. It was Deacon Jacson, a true friend of mine, who defied rum, and the result now appeared. From a pious young man to this type was not what I expected. A mist settled around this scene and gradually a panorama of a beautiful country unfolded, in which the following blotch on the landscape appeared: :X long-legged. lean. hungry-looking individual slowly bent his way towards a barn. with a revolver in one hand and a milk pail in the other. IIe seemed to be saying, By heck. if I don't get you by gentle'argumentation. this will, hossief' and gently pat- ting his revolver. It was poor hecker, I.ou Goldberg. .X sporty. well-dressed man approached him. exclaiming: flow are you? lIow is the XX'CZllllk'l'? By the wav. I