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Page 29 text:
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Fred: There is Keith Clud Clymer. He is the manufacturer oi Vitamin D pills. Bill: Yea, his slogan is, If you can't get it from the sun try a Clymer. Fred: There on the tracks at Yale is Shirley Babe Bittinger--Olympic starstovbe in the 880 high hurdles. Bill: Ioe Crawford, her manager and Wanda Becker. her trainer always did say she had nothinq to fear from Dorothy Bauer or Dolores Nierman for the Olympics. Fred: Well. well, there is Mary Ann Demland. She and Charlene Derge. Virginia English, Vera Doyle, and Catherine Dohoney bought a fishing ship and a cannery on the coast of Maine. Bill: But they can't fish and you can't hire fishermen for love nor money since the strike is on. Fred: Well, it's easily done when Charlene plays. The men gather around to listen and the other girls go into action and zip, they're shanghaied. Bill: I slept in a cannery over night once. Fred: Yea. I know, the Police Station in Columbus. Bill: Well I have to put some souls on to fry-did you see my new GE range? lt really is handy for this sort of thing. Fred: Ha! There is Ellen Kohart. She is head nurse in the Toledo hospital for the mental cases and right now she is having trouble with some of the inmates. They want to see Napoleon. Bill: Making it pretty hot for Ellen, huh? Fred: Quit talking shop and you better turn those souls over-they look done to me. Bill: Thanks. Say, Fred, how is Wrink Mast doing for himself? Fred: He is married and has a greenhouse in Denver, Colorado. He also has 200 little ones all over the United States. Bill: Ain't that kinda cruel to the children? Fred: Children! Heavens no. I meant branch greenhouses. Bill: I wonder what ever happened to Lois Palm? Fred: She is returning from a Metropolitan opera tour next month. Bill: Well, she always had the vocal equipment for it. Fred: Yea . . . but her stand-in, Harriett Rout may replace her. She is as near the Great Lois in voice culture as they could find. Bill: Where did they look? I wonder . . . Say, whats this about Bud Wrigley, Bill Gray, Iim Taylor, and Bob Newman? Fred: Well, Bill, they are called the Wrigley Wranglers featured in every one of Wild Bob Con- roy's pictures. Bill: Fred, I hear that United States minister to China, Iim Bridenbaugh, is having trouble with Generalissimo Chiang Shy Loper Uim to youl. Bridenbaugh told the UN Saturday that Loper was not shredding the rice evenly. Fred: Say. Bill, how did you find that out? Bill: Under ground- really underground. Fred: Well. Kathlean Wellman owns her own veterinary office now. Bill: Yea. I know most of her patients are my next door neighbors. Fred: Don Warnimont's star basketball team is going to the Rose Bowl and . . . Bill: Wait a minute. They don't play basketball at the Rose Bowl. Fred: Boy. is Don going to be surprised! And so is his first team-Denise Fitzenrider, Norma Graf, Alberta Spangler, Carolyn and Marilyn Schira. Fred: Don't stop now, Fred, tell me more. I'm getting hot under the collar from the suspense. Fred: Well, let's see. Oh yes, the other day Ambassador to Iceland Richard Hoover and wife-to-be Gloria Hammons were received by the butler, Ray Osborn, at the estate oi Dave Leaders. He was throwing a big shindig in honor oi 24 star General Robert Boff. The Scotts-Leah and Lela-the most sought after tight-wire artists in the business were the featured attraction. Bill: Say. Fred, weren't they with The Betty Hartman-Iames Moorehead All Star Circus in Canada? Fred: They were but now they are with Forrest Frisinger's aquatorium, but their manager. Beverly Weber, is looking toward Hollywood. This next bit of chatter is just your type. Edith Osborn, Marilyn Carroll, Iunella Hesselschwardt, and Nomta Link have tumed to under-world deeds with their leader Marilyn Dillinger Meyer. Bill: What do you know about that!! Fred ,did you know that Barbara Mitchell and Barbara Kam- meyer are owners of the largest window washing business in New York? A nice clean business. Fred: Peggy Gutman and Ardith Harmon have opened a furniture store and lim Weisenberger was ordered to break in all davenports and comfortable chairs free of charge. Bill: Well, Fred. it's getting pretty late and I have to get to bed early so I can be in shape for my annual va- cation which I always spend in Defiance, Ohio. My assistants, Iohn Wirick, Wayne Shaffer. Tyke X ' Weber, Bill Fidler, and Pete Morris will be in charge X I of my headquarters until I return. XX f 25
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Page 28 text:
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LOOKI HE . . . The scene which you will witness is a conversation between two extremes-heaven and . . . er . . . ah . . . The persons involved are Reverend Frederick Behringer, pastor, who represents heaven. Then there is Bill Sterling, ex-cardshark, who well, he is in the hole, shall we say. Bill: Say, Fred. can you hear me? Fred: Can't miss you, you little devil you. Bill: Ahh don't rub it in, I know when things are hottest now. Fred: Say, Bill, I can see from where I stand a lot of people. What say we, or rather I look in on a few and narrate to you the happenings? Bill: Oh goody ,lets. Fred: Now take Karen Abele. She has prospered in the few years out of school and now is a rich woman living in Ireland. Bill: Ireland? V Fred: Sure, Rhode Ireland. Bill: Keep looking for more while I put a couple souls on the fire. It's dying down to 28,000 C. Fred: Well, well. there is Herb F essel graduating from Penn State with honors. Bill: Well, what's so qstonishing about that? So did I. Fred: Now, Bill, we allzknow that was the State Penn! l ! ! ! Bill: Curses, foiled again! ! Fred: Say there is Margaret Hasch. She's now starring in a day-time serial, Margaret's Other Husband. Bill: Keep talking Fred: here comes some more recruits for my Royal Army of Heat. Fred: There is Glenn Bayliss in a T.V. station. I guess he is another Arthur Godfrey to the world. He sponsors Doris Belden's potato chips. Bill: Wow! Listen to that static, Fred. I can even hear it down here. Fred: I can tell by not looking that that is Bill Fauth campaigning against Iames Hartoon for President oi The United States. Bill: Say, Fred, can you see Gene Curline Starret? Fred: Can I see him? He and Pat Baum have become partners in two ways-marriage and in the plumbing business. While on the subject oi plumbing, there is lim Hose Nose Wahl and his dancing partner, Lee Weisenburger. They do the dance of the age. Bill: Golly-when do you think that age will return? Fred: They are starred in Yvonne Partee's musical A Miracle on Clinton Street. Bill: Say, Fred, how is Ioan Hiatt doing for herseli? Fred: She . . . oh there she is. She directs her world-famed All Boy Chorus featuring Pat Sar- geant and his Magic Tuba. Bill: Ianice and Pauline Skiver have added another quiz show to the air haven't they? Fred: How did you know that Bill? Bill: Ground waves! ! ! Fred: Did you hear the show where they asked Bill Maass and Marilyn Hahn how many leaves were on the oldest tree in the world? But before they could answer Ilene Mack called in and gave the correct answer. She said she and lim Krutsch, face mortition he buries anything l have been counting the leaves and she was right. Bill: I'll bet they were up in the air about it. Fred: Not when they found the prize to be tooth picks made by Rosemary Otto, yep 200,000,000 boxes oi them. Bill: Golly, that would kindle a swell fire. Fred: Quit talking shop. Say look there Bill. it's Roger Shock and his wife er . . . a . . . oh, yes Ioyce Roehrig. They are interested in their little electrical equipment shop. They have an- other baby boy-wonder what they'll call him? Bill: Probably Ever-ready, Fred. Fred: Esther Nelson is in the dog house now that her vaudeville dog act has been found out- The dog was really Bill Weber. Bill: Pass the after-shave lotion, please. Fred: Here in New Mexico is a good one--Ruth Ann Shaeffer and Ioan Weaver have opened a restaurant under private eye Dick Zeschke's office. Bill: Gad, is he over the soup . . . Say how is Bill Wilhelm coming with the shipyards? Fred: Swell, he has Roger Iones and let's see . . . oh yes, Lavon Mack and Iim Keller working tor him. Rog and Lavon hold the rivet and Iim smashes it with a 500 pound hammer. Bill: Reed Highland has opened a pet shop in Bryan hasn't he, Fred? Fred: You know it. he specializes in kangaroos too. Bill: Wow, I'll bet prices are bouncing there! Fred: Speaking of bouncing there is Maryann Beatty owner of all the prize fighters in the States. She has Georgous Dick Naveau and The Vandemark Angel-Bud that is. Bill: Say, Fred, she even ownes Bad Man Gruver doesn't she? Fred: You know it. Also the terror of the women Ioan oi Ache -Joanne Ward. And did you know that Slick Speiser is owner of the largest and most beautiful pool hall in the world. Bill: Boy, I'll bet things are hot for Mayor oi New York, Don Fischer. Fred: Did you know he married Ioan Enos? Q . Bill: No comment. 24
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Page 30 text:
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AST WILL A We, the class of 1949 of Defiance High School in the County of Defiance and the State of Ohio, being of sound mind and memory and considering the uncertainty of frail and transitory life and hoping to graduate from said high school sooner or later do, therefore, make. ordain, publish. and declare this to be our first and last Will and Testament. I, Karen Abele, will my period for organ practice to Marjorie Rout. fMay she reap more benefits than I did.J , Dorothy Bauer, will my job of Booster treasurer to anyone with a large supply of aspirins. n-an-1 . Pat Baum, will my faithfulness to one fellow to Bonell Marihugh. l, Glenn Bayliss, do will and bequeath my athletic ability to Ierry Behringer. I, Maryann Beatty, will my boxers pictures in my locker to anyone else interested in cauliflower ears. I, Wanda Backer, will my deadpan expression to Dick Diemer. I, Fred Behringer, will my Hollywood profile to Pork Chop Fry. I. Iune Belden, will my golden voice to my most promising pupil, Dinah Shore. I, Shirley Bittinger, will my job as waitress to any girl interested in the college boys. l, Robert Boff, will my grocery delivery route to Finley Vaughn whose heart is closer to No1an's than my heart is. l, Iim Bridenbaugh, will my job as quarterback to lack Lehman. I, Marilyn Carroll, will my stubborness back to the mules. I, Clud Clymer, will my first three years of high school which were a complete loss to lim Derrow who isn't doing so bad himself. . Bob Conroy, will my nickname Ears back to the elephant. . Ioan Doan, will my seat in Social Problems to an unlucky Iunior who can understand the stuff!!! We, Bill Gray, Ruth Ann Shaeffer, Ioanne Ward, Herb Fessel, and Bill Weber, will our places in the band to anyone who already has flat feet. I, Maryann Demland. will my eloquent silence to Nora Lee Bayliss. I, Catherine Dohoney, will my firey disposition to any person with the red hair to match it. l, Ned Duerk, will the dense fog which completely surrounds me to the weather man: may he scatter it elsewhere-there's enough in Defiance already. l, Don Fischer, will my pipe-Of course not: I haven't enough money to buy another. I, Virginia English, will my last six years of loyalty at Defiance High School to whom it may concern. I. Ioanne Enos, will all my pep, energy, and bubbling vitality to Dick Squire. I, Bill Fauth, will and bequeath a ride in my fliver to anyone who has plenty of insurance. l, Bill Fidler, will my one and only name to anyone who can play a cigar box. I, Denise Fitzenrider, will my Dick to anyone who wants to try and get him. I, Forest Frisinger, will my desire to call teachers by their first names to any Iunior not interested in making the honor roll. I, Norma Graf, will my quiet unassuming manner to too many people to list here. I, Iim Gruver, will my nickname Tuffy to Allan Schutt. l, Peggy Gutman. will my good nature to anyone who could use it. l, Marilyn Hahn, will my seat in Bookkeeping back to Mr. Thompson. I, Gloria Hammons, will my place on the honor roll each six weeks to Dolores Cooper. I, Ardith Harmon, will my studious attitude to Fred Miller. I. Betty Hartman, will my quietness to Iennie Pohlmann who can certainly use it. I, lim Hartoon, will my long legs to lack Hohenberger. I, Margaret Hasch, will my long list of fellows to no one. I, Elinor Hershey, will my ability to think up absence excuses to Miss Kehnast. I, Ioan Hiatt, do will and bequeath my hamburger diet to Sally Skees. I. Reed Highland, will my long lanky stride to Bruce Pickering. I, Rich Hoover. will my blush to Sue Ellsworth to use at the Best ls Yet To Come shows. I, Bog Iones, will my football memories, bruises. and thrills to Gene Mattocks. I. Barbara Kammeyer, will my short f?l walk to school every day to Marilyn Ellsworth. I, lim Keller, will my angelic disposition to lim Skees. We, Ellen Kohart and Charlene Derge, will all the headache powders we have left now that this annual is finished, to next year's editor. I. Iirn Krutsch, will my ability to be tardy eight mornings a week to Bill Monti. I, Dave Leaders, will my beautiful big brown eyes to Sue Seyboldt who needs an extra pair to woo her many followers. r-an-4 26
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