Deering High School - Amethyst Yearbook (Portland, ME)

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: Y' l 1' 1 U ' l X l N It r l Vs .. ,,. ri L, I 431, ,ev X '..'. gall? 1 - I ' M - :I I X , I .xii K' . . Q- I NX. ,x . ' 4 pf I ltr A- 'IQ' I , My , , l 'r fur 'ig 4, .Tip . -4 - A., 'ff . 'cf ' 'L+ -1- ' a---af :aa -4 r 41 Page I6 The QAJWETH YST Cafes . ITM - I - - Fred Callj had read in the daily paper of Fez that Sultan so-and-so was leaving the country. and was offering his harem to the highest bidder. It looked pretty good to Elliott and Anderson, so they pre- vailed upon Fred to come in with them and pool shares. Fred was slightly skeary, but when the Sultan showed them some beauties- paraded them around like horses-why, he gave in. They bought the harem, lock, stock and barrel. Wlien they gleefully took possession they found that they were running an old woman's home, so to speak. In other words, the Sultan, finding that his wives were getting along in years, had hired some local stage beauties for bait, and then had advertised. It was a slick trick, but Allah have mercy on that Sultan. The consul says that they are still hunting him-and their money. Hoping to locate them I hopped off for a town on the coast. There the local authorities claimed that three Americans in a Ford had nearly caused a riot the day before by chasing a taxi-cab through the streets. From the vivid way in which the official described the speed of the Ford, I came to the conclusion that the three were in Cape Town by this time. VVhile in town I managed to get hit by an automobile, and had a couple of vertebrae knocked into the discard. In hunting around for an osteopath I was directed to see a woman doctor who had twisted the spines of every sheik within fifty miles. In fact, hearing about her masculine powers alarmed me more than it helped, but I gritted my teeth and entered the ofhce. Standing beside what looked like an operating table was Joy johnson. I was somewhat relieved to see her, but she didn't have any feeling even for a former classmate. She pounded my liver and wrung my neck, played Rossini's Overture up and down my spinal column, waggled my legs around my ears, and bent my back, just to see how far I could bend without breaking. After an interesting half hour, she reluctantly let me go and bade me a business-like good-bye. I felt so fine that I jumped off for Abyssinia, where I'm per- sonally acquainted with the ruling queen. The second night she in- vited me to hear some famous singers in her court, declaring them to be Americans, so I consented to attend. At the First notes of the song I recognized Anne Dyer's and Doris Kitchen's voices. They were wonderful and the song which they sang was my old favorite, The Old Gray Mare Ain't NNhat She Used To Be. I wanted to see them afterwards, but business called me to Cape Town the next morn- ing so I went to bed early that night. The next afternoon found me in Cape Town visiting Leon Clark, who is teaching Mathematics in the high school for the deaf and dumb. He is just the same as ever, only he is one tough school-marm. The following day we went to the circus, as Leon said that Nor- ton and our former Betty VVright, now Mrs. Norton, were perform- ing. I had the time of my life watching Norton throw hundred-pound Weights around, and Betty walking the tight-rope. The end of the performance found us talking over old times across the supper table in john's tent. Clarke and I were amused to Find that Norton. while stopping in Afghanistan, had seen Norman XVebb and Ralph Morrill shoeing horses. I-Ie said Morrill and VVebb were bootlegging across the border into India, as a sideline. The British caught them once, but Ralph looked so innocent that they let them go. I mfg. Q .gif ,-W jf . .ff-f .,. .I -- 7 , f ,.--. 'dr , i ' ' if-102. I-1.1, ' ' f' ,eval-,.- - g, , V, , ' I-N. IT ' ef f - ---AA 'vs -A fbi: I so fc' is lf'--A - T'-Ki' of -seq ,Z 'slx --4?f1'f N... ..g:f'5-Y. ' 1 --- f f'-V 1. M, QxT 'hf:ffffH . ., T ...S .R . 'LT- Xi-TI '-'Hai -A-- , g,4 ' ' . I 2 ' . ' pw 'Si ..-, J Ag . Q Q -nga: .Z N, .fs-f- f Y Y . ' x k ' Slilzf 'AQ' -f- v .. . -'-- Y - x , . . M 'Q' -AW I X ?' f', -55. -'95-f ---r' V:--,:f':+ , '-. .--'fi in -145'-. I 1 , fin. -,fi-Ag .if-Q -::, Yff?liTgf-.i3,, -1-1-,

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The QAMETH YST Page 15 My I-Ie sold a pair of false teeth in Lima so I managed to leave him. About noontime I went into one of these combination beauty parlors for a shave and general clean-up. ' As soon as I had entered I was pounced upon by a barber wear- ing one of those little wagglers called French mustaches: with him was a dashing young lady manicurist. I gave one look at that face behind the weeping willows, and the hair on milady's head and saw my former class mates-Munson VVhite and his wife, janet Quincy. They were tickled stiff to see me, and Munson gave me a whale of a shave. only nicking my nose twice. They were both talking at once, and janet was polishing my finger nails and washing my head at the same time. Between breaths I managed to make out what they were saying. It seems that they had been doing business in Lima since 1930. Munson has three Cadillacs and a Lincoln now, so I guess he is doing a fairly good business. In a short time I was on my way to Buenos Aires. So many ad- ventures followed that hop-off that I'll just skim over them. In cross- ing Brazil I was forced down on a small pampas near a jungle and there happened to run across I-larry Kemp, who is collecting bugs for the Biology department at D. H. S. My next stop was at Port Stan- ley, an insignificant post off the coast where I met Dot Fenderson carrying on a very successful Old Man's I-Iome there. She claims that old men die more quickly in a hot climate-and maybe they do. Dot always had an eye for business. anyway. My next stops were in London and Paris. In London theylre all reducing at a line new gym that has just been erected near Times Square. I found out that Mary IVilliams, Wfinifred I-lodgkins, and Wlinona Harrison are the owners. I went down to see them, but left in a hurry,-if I hadn't they would have had me in the sweat box, or running the hundred. If you ever go to London. stay away from that gym. You can tell when you begin to get to the danger line. because everyone living within a mile of the place eats spinach and owns a pair of trunks. In Paris I heard about some wonderful Hawaiian dancing in one of the cafes of the Montmartre district, so there I went and. believe mc. I saw some dancing! It was a cross between an African war dance and a town meeting. The hula-hula wench was our only Helen Larrabee. I was delighted. but she had so many dates after the per- formance that I was unable to see her personally. In the American part of the city I found Flora Robinson and Doris Flaws trying to sell automobiles, but the high life is getting them. Flora conhded to me in tears that all they had sold one week was a Ford, and that had been returned. Doris said that if she didn't sell something pretty quick she would have to eat onions or teach Physics. I gave the girls one good square meal and they sure wrapped it up. Flora gained a pound in a half hour and Doris was not far behind. I left for Africa that night, because after watching them consume food I didn't want to be convicted of murder. My next stop was in Fez, a little town in llflorocco. The whole town is buzzing with gossip and I guess it is mostly true at that, though gossip rarely tells the truth. In order to find out I went to the American consul. According to him three Ainericans fwho. by his descriptions, I guessed to be Linwood Elliott, Bill Anderson, and V ,f N - Y ,gg-,V ,l V . ,. -1 i--7.7 J -v--gg f,l,,, , ,- --' 47 A ' 'T'1:'Y.Q-- 'V .4 V r In V V H M Y fg, ,. , X K ,,-,- ,.-,.--., ...fa--.., Ygv I-fx, :V .,g.::ffX-l1gg,,:' J . I is V ,X NX- J- j .e I I 1 I . a ,nl rf jill., V, f l' A. Y jj. X my .Alai get fi .I -lITzF:1wL.' .f ai mx i gm-:Q jr fi as raw' ' 3 2 llglzf -.N yi ' g ii' lf Ny i li 'll it flf til,g.LP' X i ,MIKE i ., Q ff , I ,. I , r w 3. f XEi,z.IH1,7. ---ty, If -'X 1 V 'I ,f ....,..i,,..,,, 4, J, fs., . 1-as J isps ' ., . ia.. gf... . -avi. ,aff-B .V-.rf

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The QAUIJETH YS T g g g Pf1UfI7g we Norton showed us around the grounds and we didn't get away until midnight. and the next morning I left for I-long-Kong, where I met Paul Butler, working as a British policeman. He told me that a missionary had wired to him for some yeast cakes. I asked him how come a missionary should give an yeast cake order to a policeman, but Paul wouldn't tell me. I smelled a rat somewhere, so I set off for the Mission that night. In three hour's time I had landed and gone to the mission house. I then saw Paul's secret. in fact, it was a sizeable secret-nearly six feet in height, with yellow hair, a long pleasant face, all of which was attached to the name- 'l'uddy Oakes. Tuddy a missionary! It took me an hour to recover and in that time I learned a great deal. Tuddy has been in the missionary work since he got his sheepskin at college. I-Ie is working out a new plan-teaching women and no men, and he claims that once the women are educated the men will follow as a matter of course. I-Ie always was a politician. IrIe has a very eliicient teaching staff headed by Beulah Tebbetts. Some old men of the village told me confidentially that they con- sidered Miss 'Febbetts the best teacher of Latin since Confucius- although he had never taught it. Tuddy has a monopoly on our classmates, Raymond Abraham- son plays the organ. I never before heard such line jazz,-he plays Crazy XVords marvelously and at an evening service he played NVhere'd You Get Those Eyes? lt was exquisite-and Tuddy's sermon-I nearly bawled. I-le said he was planning to hire Rile IYilson for a football coach if he could get him. Rile is teaching the liskimos the g'a1ne in Green- land, and the last Tuddy heard of him he was having a lawsuit with another coach over a football that had been punctured by some ice that the opposing team had th1'own. Katherine Libby is in charge of the gym and you ought to the classes go through their stuff, I watched them and really I pitied them,-every time they would bend down, all I could think about was Joy Johnson waggling my poor spine. Raymond was a very fountain of news. He was in Africa last summer and while poking around among the monkeys and natives he bumped up against an African Chief who had a basketball team which was captained by Morrill Mace. He said Mace was a shadow of his former self, as the chief threatened to cut his head off if he missed a basket. Morrill was so scared that he would hit a basket in his sleep. There was a great deal more, Snookums, but I can't remember the rest very accurately so I won't bother to write it. Au revoir, Anonymous, '2S. P. S-I forgot about Charles Abbott. Thomas claims that Charlie has collected so many French Colonial stamps that the French govern- ment is suing him for defrauding the mails. l'. S. No. 72.-Ruth Faxson, Virginia lfbberson. Leonard Fray. and Daniel Honan have been sent by the Dancing Commission of New York to Purgatory, Me. Purgatory has gone wild with admiration over some intricate dance steps demonstrated one night by a French- man from the border. They call the new dance The French Bottom. 'sf -J, 1 i .xx - y 'x .Je X ...R of J X oft-4 X W. 1'Pm-air D ii, f' NET N v., Ei . ff N. i , . f . Wm , 1 al-:W .T 'I' 2 l if l. 'Hill i .. 1, 'wb' .v, . 1 i wiliv f ,-4 .' -.vat f. L w - in ' l 2+-., T xml, ' WM ,-7 fill i ..,V J . fe. z' ,jay wv.s ai-1 fy iii if 'VV l f'-1 I '.. rf, 11. .As 5, ' 2 ,, cs . J Q -ff ff 4 - P Y ,sl M- -fx K .V -,af--.. '-f Q - ,- .. -.-,- --- ...Q . ,. -2- ,. - ' ' '- I' .-51s--.,, ' 'N 221- V- 4 , fe A ,,-.--. ,-.sf A Li-'-' rw, Ag XA M fx? ,.I-:- Y , L, ,,,. 1 v -' iw- ,as ,I T L- A 1 . ,. J - -' , f I - -f I gr,f,fc1E, .L as- g.,.f was-4, L-2, 61,1 ., -25131-. ',,- 5 . QLYA M rK...A -4.55: f L X L.:-P ,-E., affix ,,,-- elseif 'rs-' ,ac- V if-.L Y.,-1574- - - 1 .rl ...- L11-, - NL .. Q 1, .,-:.,f- In .-s.,,,,i4.1fA SV A wget, CRW-V -., ,-:iA,,,-N- Ai VS. VLA, ' 222- 4 --eff -- es- '--' J 'ag if I --fe ai- ' L .Aa-Q--,sv ' rr - W -- I, --. e-1-:Q-CA.. ,,- ,: -, K -' -.Ll-V ' J-L nv -5? 1-1,-f---s , -Aire 1-X Ls...-1-Q, - fs., - - -- -f' if -F