Deering High School - Amethyst Yearbook (Portland, ME)

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The QAMETH YST Page 15 My I-Ie sold a pair of false teeth in Lima so I managed to leave him. About noontime I went into one of these combination beauty parlors for a shave and general clean-up. ' As soon as I had entered I was pounced upon by a barber wear- ing one of those little wagglers called French mustaches: with him was a dashing young lady manicurist. I gave one look at that face behind the weeping willows, and the hair on milady's head and saw my former class mates-Munson VVhite and his wife, janet Quincy. They were tickled stiff to see me, and Munson gave me a whale of a shave. only nicking my nose twice. They were both talking at once, and janet was polishing my finger nails and washing my head at the same time. Between breaths I managed to make out what they were saying. It seems that they had been doing business in Lima since 1930. Munson has three Cadillacs and a Lincoln now, so I guess he is doing a fairly good business. In a short time I was on my way to Buenos Aires. So many ad- ventures followed that hop-off that I'll just skim over them. In cross- ing Brazil I was forced down on a small pampas near a jungle and there happened to run across I-larry Kemp, who is collecting bugs for the Biology department at D. H. S. My next stop was at Port Stan- ley, an insignificant post off the coast where I met Dot Fenderson carrying on a very successful Old Man's I-Iome there. She claims that old men die more quickly in a hot climate-and maybe they do. Dot always had an eye for business. anyway. My next stops were in London and Paris. In London theylre all reducing at a line new gym that has just been erected near Times Square. I found out that Mary IVilliams, Wfinifred I-lodgkins, and Wlinona Harrison are the owners. I went down to see them, but left in a hurry,-if I hadn't they would have had me in the sweat box, or running the hundred. If you ever go to London. stay away from that gym. You can tell when you begin to get to the danger line. because everyone living within a mile of the place eats spinach and owns a pair of trunks. In Paris I heard about some wonderful Hawaiian dancing in one of the cafes of the Montmartre district, so there I went and. believe mc. I saw some dancing! It was a cross between an African war dance and a town meeting. The hula-hula wench was our only Helen Larrabee. I was delighted. but she had so many dates after the per- formance that I was unable to see her personally. In the American part of the city I found Flora Robinson and Doris Flaws trying to sell automobiles, but the high life is getting them. Flora conhded to me in tears that all they had sold one week was a Ford, and that had been returned. Doris said that if she didn't sell something pretty quick she would have to eat onions or teach Physics. I gave the girls one good square meal and they sure wrapped it up. Flora gained a pound in a half hour and Doris was not far behind. I left for Africa that night, because after watching them consume food I didn't want to be convicted of murder. My next stop was in Fez, a little town in llflorocco. The whole town is buzzing with gossip and I guess it is mostly true at that, though gossip rarely tells the truth. In order to find out I went to the American consul. According to him three Ainericans fwho. by his descriptions, I guessed to be Linwood Elliott, Bill Anderson, and V ,f N - Y ,gg-,V ,l V . ,. -1 i--7.7 J -v--gg f,l,,, , ,- --' 47 A ' 'T'1:'Y.Q-- 'V .4 V r In V V H M Y fg, ,. , X K ,,-,- ,.-,.--., ...fa--.., Ygv I-fx, :V .,g.::ffX-l1gg,,:' J . I is V ,X NX- J- j .e I I 1 I . a ,nl rf jill., V, f l' A. Y jj. X my .Alai get fi .I -lITzF:1wL.' .f ai mx i gm-:Q jr fi as raw' ' 3 2 llglzf -.N yi ' g ii' lf Ny i li 'll it flf til,g.LP' X i ,MIKE i ., Q ff , I ,. I , r w 3. f XEi,z.IH1,7. ---ty, If -'X 1 V 'I ,f ....,..i,,..,,, 4, J, fs., . 1-as J isps ' ., . ia.. gf... . -avi. ,aff-B .V-.rf

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X I 'Q I 1 K .T 'iff' . , .A nate fa- ' f -rr tif? iv f ' il.. , -W f' . F. 1 A i X. '. i ix Lriiawi I -' IM . f .aflff 'Qt XX ff syn' ...mg-Lg. . N 5' kk y. -'ffi5fVl1lll'f A. Aff- al-: - A' 1' - I sax,-N , 7,. Fx? .f . 1:- e, ,. I l Ill ...,,,..,- gig, Page 1.1 gg The tAujg1'H YST Once inside I walked up to the large desk in the center of the room and there, sitting behind its marble top, was old Sam Saunders grinning and chuckling as he always did in school. He was all togged out-tuxedo with a white rose in the buttonhole and a shine on his patent leathers that took 1ny breath away. The recognition was mutual. VVell, haw, haw, if it isn't old Tommy Clarke I he bellowed and leaped over the desk and hugged me like a Frenchman. Boy, I was glad to see him. He straightened out my difficulties in no time and we spent a week attending all the shows and dances in the city. He took me to all the Chinese joints, too, including one in the center, where I was knocked for a row of ash cans to find Margaret Jacobs performing contortions in the middle of the floor, the like of which I hadn't seen since I saw the tango in Algiers. Believe me. I had some talk with her, but what was my flabagastonation to Find that she was a missionary of the Holy Rollers. Sam and I bade a hasty adios and hit for the wide and open spaces. It was an effort to say good-bye to Sam the next morning, but I had to-leaving that morning for Panama. I had a large order from an Indian chief living in Nicaragua and as there wasn't any landing field in that country I took a tugboat and started around. leaving my plane at Panama. W'hat was my surprise and delight to find the captain of the gallant old tub none other than our football hero- Bud Hawkes. He was glad to see me a11d surely demonstrated it when he fed me on beans. During the meal he asked me if I had ever seen any of the pictures that Rut' Drummond had painted. I expressed some surprise. so he showed me one. It was a very vivid, very beautiful work, depicting the garden of Eden. In the foreground was Eve prancing around in the garden patch, while Adam and the snake looked on approvingly. Bud claimed that Rut,s wife wouldn't have it in the house so he had to give it away. In an hour or so we reached Nicaragua and I waved farewell to Budf' Having delivered the yeast to the chief. I returned to Panama and from there hopped off for Peru. Engine trouble forced me down on one of the roads not far from Lima, and here I was tinkering on the old bus when a fellow who looked like a hobo came along and asked me if I needed any help. W'hen I straightened up and turned around I found that I was gazing into the features of sweet George Blanchard. I-Ie was carrying a large army knapsack and about his neck was a huge sign with a legend in glaring red letters. It read like this, Buy Blanchard's False Teeth-They Satisfy. The shock of recognition was mutual, but Blanchard was nearly overcome-he fell on my neck and wept like a babyg and for the next three hours he spouted about false teeth, his still future wife, Deering, the weather, and Bob Richards. He didn't even stop when We left the ground and headed for Lima. He yelled all the way and this is how it ran: I met Bob Richards in England last summer-running an incubator farm in Hampshire. VVhen I came away Bob-was exchanging-had light with cook- eggs everywhere. CHere I couldn't hear any more as the motor took to howling, but after I had fixed it George started up his theme again with greater vehemencej: One of their incubators - didn't function - whole week - every- one wearing gas-masks-poor Bob-terrible raking-his wife-etc., ,u,J' me -s till far into the night. -of . I -v--5 - , r-. -1. X 741-4-'ga .J r V-:- f . A Y .1 V - 1. ,,- .sa---ig' , H., Y , - , E., jzfmq 4 .Z .,-K - V- ...f . .- x.-s M V - kg g :M 'Q S - ff' ' Y, Y X, 5- , C.-1-Q -H N 4 . . -.safgaf Bax' ,., .-tis. '--. '-- rg L . 'kgiiys - , . , .I , ..-X - Y - . s W - - 4 1 -..-.Cf-,,, . Y Q, -, 4 .I 5 r .Y A v Y, aging f ala, X W- .,,,, H ff' V. ' 'f E ,-5 'W K . - A -- - ,fx . - - -ff' .3-'fx , s .,-- . til! E., .- X.-. -f's:f .1 . . -Lf 12- :ffm-4-. -0-P-vrzis e

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: Y' l 1' 1 U ' l X l N It r l Vs .. ,,. ri L, I 431, ,ev X '..'. gall? 1 - I ' M - :I I X , I .xii K' . . Q- I NX. ,x . ' 4 pf I ltr A- 'IQ' I , My , , l 'r fur 'ig 4, .Tip . -4 - A., 'ff . 'cf ' 'L+ -1- ' a---af :aa -4 r 41 Page I6 The QAJWETH YST Cafes . ITM - I - - Fred Callj had read in the daily paper of Fez that Sultan so-and-so was leaving the country. and was offering his harem to the highest bidder. It looked pretty good to Elliott and Anderson, so they pre- vailed upon Fred to come in with them and pool shares. Fred was slightly skeary, but when the Sultan showed them some beauties- paraded them around like horses-why, he gave in. They bought the harem, lock, stock and barrel. Wlien they gleefully took possession they found that they were running an old woman's home, so to speak. In other words, the Sultan, finding that his wives were getting along in years, had hired some local stage beauties for bait, and then had advertised. It was a slick trick, but Allah have mercy on that Sultan. The consul says that they are still hunting him-and their money. Hoping to locate them I hopped off for a town on the coast. There the local authorities claimed that three Americans in a Ford had nearly caused a riot the day before by chasing a taxi-cab through the streets. From the vivid way in which the official described the speed of the Ford, I came to the conclusion that the three were in Cape Town by this time. VVhile in town I managed to get hit by an automobile, and had a couple of vertebrae knocked into the discard. In hunting around for an osteopath I was directed to see a woman doctor who had twisted the spines of every sheik within fifty miles. In fact, hearing about her masculine powers alarmed me more than it helped, but I gritted my teeth and entered the ofhce. Standing beside what looked like an operating table was Joy johnson. I was somewhat relieved to see her, but she didn't have any feeling even for a former classmate. She pounded my liver and wrung my neck, played Rossini's Overture up and down my spinal column, waggled my legs around my ears, and bent my back, just to see how far I could bend without breaking. After an interesting half hour, she reluctantly let me go and bade me a business-like good-bye. I felt so fine that I jumped off for Abyssinia, where I'm per- sonally acquainted with the ruling queen. The second night she in- vited me to hear some famous singers in her court, declaring them to be Americans, so I consented to attend. At the First notes of the song I recognized Anne Dyer's and Doris Kitchen's voices. They were wonderful and the song which they sang was my old favorite, The Old Gray Mare Ain't NNhat She Used To Be. I wanted to see them afterwards, but business called me to Cape Town the next morn- ing so I went to bed early that night. The next afternoon found me in Cape Town visiting Leon Clark, who is teaching Mathematics in the high school for the deaf and dumb. He is just the same as ever, only he is one tough school-marm. The following day we went to the circus, as Leon said that Nor- ton and our former Betty VVright, now Mrs. Norton, were perform- ing. I had the time of my life watching Norton throw hundred-pound Weights around, and Betty walking the tight-rope. The end of the performance found us talking over old times across the supper table in john's tent. Clarke and I were amused to Find that Norton. while stopping in Afghanistan, had seen Norman XVebb and Ralph Morrill shoeing horses. I-Ie said Morrill and VVebb were bootlegging across the border into India, as a sideline. The British caught them once, but Ralph looked so innocent that they let them go. I mfg. Q .gif ,-W jf . .ff-f .,. .I -- 7 , f ,.--. 'dr , i ' ' if-102. I-1.1, ' ' f' ,eval-,.- - g, , V, , ' I-N. IT ' ef f - ---AA 'vs -A fbi: I so fc' is lf'--A - T'-Ki' of -seq ,Z 'slx --4?f1'f N... ..g:f'5-Y. ' 1 --- f f'-V 1. M, QxT 'hf:ffffH . ., T ...S .R . 'LT- Xi-TI '-'Hai -A-- , g,4 ' ' . I 2 ' . ' pw 'Si ..-, J Ag . Q Q -nga: .Z N, .fs-f- f Y Y . ' x k ' Slilzf 'AQ' -f- v .. . -'-- Y - x , . . M 'Q' -AW I X ?' f', -55. -'95-f ---r' V:--,:f':+ , '-. .--'fi in -145'-. I 1 , fin. -,fi-Ag .if-Q -::, Yff?liTgf-.i3,, -1-1-,