Decatur Catholic High School - Tattler Yearbook (Decatur, IN)

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19- T H li T A T T L is H -33 - -- 1 on .. 5 , R fi, ff ' ,T 1 Qgaxx 0 f I fa.-. D ' wr- :sl 1, PQ94? 'L 4.1. z: :.-:Q-T Aq,'.1,::,. .q.:.:-:A ':.-.,-535.-r.:-ff --,..g-.-1-.1-1-H -' uhh- 1-if -.rg-.ey-g:.p.:.e: - xp W i ' THE P.A.I.R.B.C.B.R.S.T.C.S. CLUB This Club was organized February 27, 1931, under the direction of Percival J. McTwink for the Protection of Authors, Inventors, Reds, Bol- sheviks, Communists, and Basketball Players from the Ravages of Small Town Crap Shooters. The club held its first mass meetings on the door steps of various houses. fThe ladies of said houses, thinking they were bums, gave them handouts.J Thus they amassed great quantities of food which they sold to the Red Cross. The money was then divided among themselves. iThere were -153 membersj With the proceeds they bought a carload of peanuts by the advice of their president, Percival J. McTwink. fContinued on Page 955 +04-ooo-4-oofoa z.: on 64 C OMPLIMEN TS 00000-00000 0 Q' I 3 0-000 Ecfwarcfs Siuclio H UTD GMSPH S . 3 g z'1zc'f7brever E Jo Ninety-three.

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19- T H E T A T TEL E R -33 It was his belief that the brown skin on peanuts was useless. He stated that said skins didn't make the peanuts taste better and that all they did was get stuck in your teeth. He claimed that to get the skins from between your teeth it was necessary to use toothpicks and the guy who cut the trees out of which toothpicks were made was a personal enemy of his. Now, McTwink reasoned, if I could prove to the public that the skins interfere with the enjoyment one gets from eating peanuts, why I can make the peanut growers grow peanuts without skinsg an act, which will affect the toothpick business and make my enemy, the guy who cuts the trees, suffer a cut in wages. So there in a nut-shell we find why McTwink bought the peanutsg public sentiment against peanut skins. McTwink hoped to sell the used peanut shells to the Alaskan Eskimos for reindeer fodder. But this plan fell through, because the Eskimos wrote back that they grew their own peanuts and had an oversupply of shells themselves. McTwink was in the holeg what could he do? The club was clamoring for money. He must do something. Aha! He had an idea. He went to town and bought a meat-grinder, two barrels of whitewash, and three gallons of glue, and home again he went. Then he began to work. He ground the peanut shells into pulp, added the glue and white- wash, packed the mixture into cans and sold it to the Russian Restaurant Guild as a Pancake Flour. What a genius. What a genius! l I I b No doubt you are now wondering just who's in connection with this c u . Above is a sketch of the officers of the P.A.I.R.B.C.B.R.S.T.C.S. Club. Reading from left to right: Percival J. McTwink, presidentg Jeremiah J. Smuck, vice-presidentg Nero, outerguardg Isaac Alexander Ludwig, second CContinued on Page 973 E i Z 2 va E IP CA C 2 li O V: 1 P va O Z YOU CAN DEPEND ON HART SCHAFFNER 81 MAR Clothing to be FIRST in STYLE QUALITY and WORKMANSHIP 00+-ooo Q 940 ooo HOLTHOUSE-SCHULTE C0. l l l i