Decatur Catholic High School - Tattler Yearbook (Decatur, IN)

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THE 1931 TATTLER ' oo obo-GQQQ o 0 oo4-o+0-o++o-++vo+++0-o-ooo-o-o-o-o-o-ooo-o-oooo4ooo Your ome Paper -serves you with a daily record of news events from every corner of the globe git provides the advertisers with quick and effective means of com- munication with the families of Ad- ams county. Its Job Printing Plant is equipped to do the finest of Work on any printing you may have. TO THE GRADUATES WE EXTEND OUR HEARTIEST CONGRATULATIONS Decatur Daily Democrat o++o44+Q+++++++++vvoo+ +a+++oo+roooo+of+e Ninety.

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THE 1931 TATTLER THE A. K P. CLUB The A 8: P Club was organized lately by the bequest of two Poland- China hog bristles by the Honorable Diddy Dooitt, Jr. It is well that the donor has passed into the great beyond because we simply cannot find words to express ourselves. Imagine our embarassmenti The charter was granted by the National Association of Grapefruit Dodgers in 1864. Since then it has been kept in a hollow tree trunk known as the Charter Oak. No one can justly estimate the accomplishments of this benevolent society. Since 1492 this organization has established forty-nine schools, twenty nurseries and thirty-two first aid stations for the care of wayward and demented fleas. The greatest honor of this work goes to Col. Bubu, the greatest living thingologist this side of Timbuctu. After years of patient study he finally succeeded in crossing a flea with an elephant to facilitate handling. At the start, tweezers had to be used to put the fleas to bed, but now we use ice tongs, thanks to Col. Bubu. With those hybrids that look like fleas and eat like elephants, we have won many prizes, enabling us to carry on this humanitarian crusade. Among other things which we have done as sidelines, is the painting of the street light globes in order to insure privacy on the porches of the homes in our fair city. Around the bottom of each one we have so fixed, is an engraved plate bearing the initials of this organization. This insures authenticity. With a greater outlay of financial resources we could work wonders in our line. Anyone who is interested, kindly fill your wallet and come to see us at our headquarters. CONSTITUTION Article 1-Name. The name of this organization shall be the Authors' and Poets' Club to the members and the A. Sz P. Club to anybody else. Article II-Object The object of this Club shall be to care for all the pie-eyed geese and one-legged ducks in Muncie. The object shall come immediately after the predicate. Article III-Members There shall be two classes of membersg active and ornery. Any person who can expectorate through a knot hole at a distance of fifty yards may become a member, provided he donates 48 Russian rubles to the fund for the mother of the Unknown Soldier. Article IV-Officers There shall be no ossifers in this club except the janitor whose main and only duty shall be to see that no windows are broken in the skylight on any day except Friday morning. Article V-Committees There shall be only one standing committee. This committee shall stand for anything including the insults of the innocent bystanders. On Sunday evenings they may sit down provided they have chairs to accom- Eighty-nine.

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THE 1931 TATTLER a 5 is . N 1 x y N 1 , 1 at X5 l ' I Q it E ' dll ,l lm L l f A R is N' L af - X 9 E : . . eg 75' Q' 4, VENERABLE A. a. P. MEMBERS modate them. Article VI-Meetings Meetings shall bc held by nails, screws, glue, and clamps. No red tape attached. Article VII-Amendments Amendments to this constitution may be made at any time from two o'clock until sixty-four minutes till three on Sunday mornings. There shall be no Eighteenth Amendment. BY-LAWS Article I-Quorum Any fraction of a member shall constitute a quorum in the strictest sense of the word. Article II-Rights and Duties of Members No voting shall be strictly prohibited and allowed either by active or ornery members scarcely, hardly, almost, whichever is deemed advisable. Members of all kinds must refrain from biting the ears of fellow mem- bers unless salt is iirst placed on the edible portion of the lobe. Article III-Punishment of Members If any member, knowing the context of the Constitution and By-Laws, willfully violates them, let him be ex cathedra. Article IV-Fees and Dues Fees and dues maybe paid by dropping them in the knot hole in the sccond floor board from the south end of the storeroom. No member can readily be considered a member until he has properly feed and dued. Article V-Authority in Dispute In case of a dispute, the final authority to be consulted shall be Ap- Ninety-one.