DeWitt Clinton High School - Clintonian Yearbook (Bronx, NY)

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ITT-IE MOST PGPULAR iurisT, Ed I-IasTings, is Toreman. See him on The IeTT, There, puTTing The oTher iurors Through caIisThenics.I Say, by The way, I-IasTings, have you goT a maTchf7 I-IASTINGS: Sure, GeTz, The oId CIinTon IvIaTch, a daTe wiTh a peachl DOC : Shades oT Louis KaTz, buT ThaT was a bad pun! I-IasTings, have you ever specuIaTed on The reasons Tor your popuIariTy7 I-IASTINGS: No, Doc. Can'T say I have, excepT ThaT I ToId my neighbors ThaT I aIways pIayed The saxophone when I goT IoneIy. DOC : I undersTand. Wow, ThaT coupIe on The righT is sure dressed TiT To IciIIl ThaT man even has spaTs and a morning coaT on. I wouIdn'T have believed ThaT couId happen in IvIemphisTopheIes I-Iigh. GETZ: Um, ThaT's IvIr. ShaTTman and Ivirs. Shapiro, The BEST DRESSED coupIe in The courT. Rumors have iT ThaT boTh aren'T earning enough aT Their presenT iobs, so They've Taken JuIy EourTh summer-resorT iobs, where They'II dress The holiday Iamb chops in The TradiTionaI American TIag. Wonder whaT They're discussing so earnesTIyf7 SI-IATTMAN: . . .and Grace, aTTer Tomorrow, I'm noT going To wear These panTs any Ionger. SI-IAPIRG: Why7 SI-IATTIVIAN: Because They're Iong enough. DOC : And who's ThaT TeIIow wiTh aII The women around him7 GETZ: I'II beT ThaT's The MCDST BELGVED Juror, Dean Cohen, and Those hundred or so oThers around him are The resT oT The iury panel. DOC : Say Cohen, how do you geT all The women To Iove youf7 I mighT Try some oT your Techniques ouT on Jessie K. DEAN: Ch, iT's easy when you wear a Senior I-IaT, as I do. DGC : Is ThaT your onIy secreT7I7 DEAN: WeII, ThaT, and my moTTo, Love 'em All . GEORGE GETZ WM. LICHTENSTEIN GRACE SHAPIRO A. SCHATTMAN MosT lncIusTrious MosT VersaTiIe Besi' Dressed BesT Dressed I 5

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AARON COHEN EDWIN HASTINGS LOUIS KATZ IRWIN GUERNSEY MOST BSIOVSCI MosT Popular WiTTiesT MosT Respec'I'ed C Rai 881515 0 ur iueri , A play wiTh I2 well-known c aracTers S. George GeTz .... . ,...III..I,..,v....MAII,I....v...IIIIIIII,,,. CourT Clerk Dr. Irwin S. Guernsey .,..,.,,,,,,, Edwin I-I. l-lasTings e...eeee Adolph ShaTTman ...Aee.e Grace Shapiro ....ee. Aaron Cohen oo,.oo.., udge ,.......-Jury Foreman l3irsT Juryman Jurywoman .. .,ooo. Second Juryman Louis KaTZ ..oo...o.,oo..... o,...oo..,...,oo,,o C ulpriT William l.ichTensTein ooo, ,..,..oo. I3 irsT SpecTaTor John W. TeiTz .,......... ........ S econd SpecTaTor Carl Schuldemfrei ...... ....................... L awyer Max Diamond ................... ....... ............... T h ird SpecTaTor l-lelen STark ............................................... ...lDoesn'T appear excepT in The dreams oT The oTher eleven characTers and The dreams oT '47 Seniorsl SeTTing: Teacher's CourT, MemphisTopheles I-ligh School, I-leaven. GETZ: CourT oT Missing Spouses oT The STaTe oT InsaniTy is now in session. Presiding iudge is his MOST RESPECTED honor, Dr. Irwin S. Guernsey. DOC : Thanks, GeTz. l don'T know whaT l'd do wiThouT you lbuT l'd raTherl. WhaT wiTh holding down The jobs oT courT sTenographer, Treasurer, clerk, bank messenger, parT-Time dishwasher, and oTTicial courT bookie, you're The MOST INDUSTRIOUS man I know. BuT now I'Il harden my Taceg bring in The TirsT case. GETZ: All in goodTime, Doo BuT TirsT you musT meeT our excellenT iury. They're all men and women oT disTincTion. I 4

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C. SCHULDENFRE HELEN C. STARK JOHN TIETZ MAX DIAMOND Handsomesi' PreTTiesT MosT CooperaTive BesT NaTured Prisoner I.ouis KaTz enTers, sTruggIing wiTh guards. During The exciTemenT, Mr. I.ichTensTein, a specTaTor, shows his amazing VERSATILITY by coming To The aid oT The aTTendanTs, impro- vising a maIceshiTT sTraiTiacIceT which he slips over The proTesTing Ivlr. KaTz by using a clever iudo hoId.l TIETZ IA SpecTaTorl: I'd Iilce To COOPERATE in This case. Gn The surTace iT appears ThaT The prisoner is menTaIIy disTurbed. I'd be glad To psycho- analyze him. I even have a Tew copies oT The TesTs I used To give in De WITT CIinTon I-Iigh School, The Bronx, U. S. A., while I was serving my Term There. KATZ: IInTerrupTingl I'm bein' maraudedg I'm bein' sIaughTeredI Say, iudgey-boy whaT Tloor is This here courT onf7 DOC : Second. Whyf7 KATZ: I'm geTTing ouT oT here. Going upsTairs. Wanna be Tried in a higher courT. DOC : WhaT is The charge againsT This cuIpriT7 I'II give him life! GETZ: Teacher's CourT Case No. 3032I. Gne Louis NNI-IITTY-BOY KaTz vs. The STaTe oT lnsaniTy. Char.ge: DisTurbing The digniTied soIemniTy oT a MemphisTopheIes I-Iigh Classroom wiTh an oTT-color remarlc. IWhispers oT shoclc and horror Trom The specTaTors.I DGC : Order, order, order in The courT. I-IASTIINIGS: I'II Take a ham on rye wiTh beer. DGC : I-IasTings, you may be mosT popular in PT, buT on The QT, iT you don'T clam up, we'II have To puT you up here wiTh Lou KaTz. I-IASTINGS: No, no, noT ThaTI HDOCH: KaTz, do you have a Iawyer7 , KATZ: No, buT I have some good Triends on The iury. DOC : Do you wanT a lawyer To deTend you7 I can recommend a very I6