Davidson College - Quips and Cranks Yearbook (Davidson, NC)

Page 28 text:

The Lost Issvc. To those who were acquainted with Long John, it was evident that there was something up. His adamantine disposition seemed to be undergoing a complete change. This process could easily be traced in his bearing toward those with whom he came in contact. For in.stance, it was reported that he lifted his hat to .some Freshies who were making frog-houses in the sand, and gave them some valuable hints on modern architecture. More than this, it was reported, and that too on pretty good authority, that he entered into a conversation with some of the upper classmen which lasted for five entire minutes. Besides, he had been known to crack several meaningless jokes in the Math. room. But when exams, came on and he didn ' t throw but a little over five-eighths of the class, the entire student body wilted from sheer astoni.shment. Mysterious, however, as were his actions towards the student body, they were still more so towards the Faculty. It was known for a fact that he milked Dickie ' s cows twice. He also agreed to prove some of Henry Louis ' s .statements, which task required the labor of days and nights and a manipulation of figures quite as shadowy as the statements themselves. Moreover, he helped Bill Joe patch up the Atomic Theory so that it might stand handling for another year without danger of explosion. For one whole day he hauled away sawdust from Wooley ' s sawmill absolutely free of charge. More than this, he gave Tommie, Jr., a rattle and teething-ring all in one, with Made in Germany stamped on it in red letters. Old Puss received the latest edition of Drummers ' Yarns, and Hand,some Jim received three sticks of .striped candy, while the Stoker was made the happy possessor of Long John ' s treatise on How to Cut Prayers. Of course, something waswrong with I ong John ; but what was it ? Some said that he must be going to die ; others, that he was .seriously contemplating matrimony. But the wisest merely shook their heads and waited for time to tell. When the curiosity of the gullible Faculty and .students had reached its high- est pitch, it leaked out somehow that Long John was ru.shing the Co-ed. move- ment and that it was his intention to pull the Faculty straight and then work the Trustees. When this simple little plan came to light, people were surpri.sed that Long John hadn ' t done more wire-pulling.