Davidson College - Quips and Cranks Yearbook (Davidson, NC)

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Zbc Seven (Bonb) Hoes of E)avib8on. [ From As We Don ' t Like It — with due apologies to Billie Shakespeare.] All Davidson ' s a prison , The students merely serve the Faculty. They have their Quips and Cranks ; but even here That seven-headed hydra wields its power, For naught escapes its all embracing rule. Look reader at their heads, as one by one The seven are presented to your gaze. First Carl, with bright red head and winsome eye, Sweet gladsome pet of all the ladies he ; To know him is to love him say they all. Oh, could they see him lording it supreme O ' er trembling preps — whom fate hath thrown beneath His sway, they ' d surely change his name from Carl To Churl. Next Dickie, with his talc and conscience, too, And burden huge of books, comes toddling on Contentedly to school. And then Lonc; John, The would-be lover, he with sudden trips And disappearances most strange indeed To — where, we dare not name, returning e ' er With air of duty well performed, and head Held high, an ideal idle idol he ; Three hearty cheers for him.

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Cari, Stanley Matthews, A. B. Adjunct Professor in Mathematics, Latin and Greek. Professor Matthews was born at Wiiiusboro. South Carolina, in 1873 ; received his early edu- cation at Jlount Zion Institute, South Carolina, and entered Davidson as a Freshman with the class of 1895 For two years after graduation, he taught in the Graded Schools at Aiken, South Carolina. After leaving Aiken, he went to Pantops Academy, Virginia, where he remainnd for one year as an assistant instructor. In the fall of 1899, he returned to Davidson and pursued po. t-graduate work under Dr. Harrison, receiving the degree of master of arts on English. The following term he was elected to his present position. 19

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Bill Joe comes next, Declaiming of athletics pure and fair ; His hobbj ' this, he rides it everywhere In thund ' rous tones, till windows rattle loud And echo back the horrid din. View Project next, With shining forehead and attentive eye. Vou ' d never think to look upon this face That his is the imagination keen and deep. Which brings to life those boundless, multiform, Amazing fabrications, would you now ? The yellow journals lost a ring-tail roarer When he to education turned his mind. .?5 And next the last is Thomas pictured here, Ycleped Tommy by the vulgar herd. In hesitating slowness well prolonged, With darksome frown of cogitation deep, The veriest pedant of them all is he. His doubtful class dismissed comes to our ears As welcome as the rain to tender grass. We oft have read that in the flood old Noe Took refuge in the ark where all was dry. Should second flood o ' erflow the earth, there were No need a second ark to build ; just run To Tommy ' s recitation room. Dryness There eternal. Old Puss, the last, engages now your eye ; Time ' s noblcjst offspring is her la.st they say, And truly here this dictum doth hold good. For by as much as Jupiter, the god. Did tower o ' er the mortals in his power. So much doth he o ' er-rank his fellow men ; And as Minerva full matured sprang forth From Jupiter ' s ambrosial head, so day By day do jokes from this man ' s mighty brain Leap out, but so matured are they at birth, That they have whiskers and their heads are gray.