Davidson College - Quips and Cranks Yearbook (Davidson, NC)

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lake, lint it is of such a nomadic nature that it ob- jects to any permanent geographical location, and anyone going in it for a swim is liable to find him- self on dry ground before he can get thoroughly wet. — By the way, have you heard what the latest project is ? No? Well, the Professor of Physics, you know, lias had numerous complaints sent in by the neighboring farmers, stating that it isn ' t safe to have such a large body of water roaming around tin i ountry without a chaperone, so tin: Doctor has followed tin plan used b) sailors during a storm at lie will co. it the banks of the lake with a deep layer of grease and oil, so when it rains the water will rise up in the air like a rain drop on a pane of glass. Large iron pipes will then be welded into the sides of the lake, aw the great pressure obtained will be used to supplj power for Bill Joe ' s ( Ihinese Laundry. But don ' t you think we have improved in othei n spects, I asked, lake, for instance, the intellectual capability of the student of to-day. From a phrenolo ;ical standpoint, isn ' t he superior to tin ise of former years ? You have an advantage, it is true, he replii d, in size of head, but the increased vi ilume is caused bya superfluity ofhirsute growth. Your big-headed men are either font ball cranks or else like Hum- phreys and I hue, — men in w horn the swellin i i m from the inside. No ! Ybu do not turn out men, now a days, like — well like — Henry LouisSmith, i ' i example,.? Asked I sarcastically. . pinkish flush passed over the spectre ' cheek, and he was plainly embarrassed. Dicky Harding, then, ? said I, determined to put a stop to his boasting. Well, said he, I ' ll admit you have the advantage ol me there. But then these two are exceptions to I HE TRUSTEES SMII I the rule, they are but two drops in the bucket, — You had better not spring that on the Professor of Physics, however, I added. I here is one thing he continued that you have improved and that is your Commencements. As I pass unseen thro ' the ga) i rowds that throng the campus, and watch the Trustee ' s expansive smile as he is pointed out the fact that v waterworks (even if we have done without them ' 5

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for it was found that ploughing and the Rible Course were extremely antagonistic. In those days if the boys wanted money they would write : 1 tear Father, please send some money right away, I ' ve worn out three plough points this week doing ' parallel work ' in Practical Agriculture, I ' ve had three back reviews to stand on it. The ghostly form became silent for a moment looking steadily at me as if in deep thought ; then a spectral smile lit up his face and he said : There is one consolation left me, however ; some ol the old landmarks still remain. One in particular is with us yet, and if appearances are not deceptive, will be for sometime. Long years ago it was when I first set eyes on bold young Oliver, the bright-eyed youth who e rippling peals of laughter chipped great chunks of plaster from the College walls. His like could be found nowhere, but alas, one day having fallen into Lake Wiley, he swore by the great red wart on his nasal proboscis, that as long as they continued to build dams on the lake, so long would he unfurl his brindle whiskers, uncut, to the winds of the west; a vow which he has faithfully kept to this day. Yes, it is indeed a pleasure to have our old friends with us after all these years, and Sir Oliver Cathcart ' s face always acts as a soporific when I feel my troubles bearing too heavily on me. His sylphlike form, the Very poetry of motion, as he glides like a startled faun over the campus, wakes sad memories in me of his lovely youth. A tear fell from the spectral eye, passed through the trunk with the ease of an x-ray, and dropped from sight. Wishing to relieve his feelings by a change of subject, 1 said, Hut Sir, what do you think of the College now-a-days ? How about the students, the Faculty and the equipments we have to-day? Are they not very superior to those of long ago ? He gave a deep groan, Superior, ! cried he j Stuff and nonsense. It is true you have made ' additions, ' but what are they? You have made a M

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so far, and have kicked for them every year), — I Under the soothing sound of his voice I was feel that we arc going forward. Yes, vc are gently passing off into a gentle sleep, when sud- advancing. With an energetic Vice-President whose denly he made a sudden jump, shook me by the ideas are up-to-date on the athletic question espe- shoulder and cially, there is no reason why we cannot, in a few , ... ' Get up, it you don t want to miss prayers ! years at least, be equal in importance to any college , , , , , . , was the first intimation I had of a bad mght- in America. Our literary standing is high, our ' ,, mare, location is perfect, we have . f£ tf SERENADE j J Sleep sweet, beloved as the hours drift by. The stars keep quiet watches in the sky. On distant hilltops sinks the crescent moon, Ami daylight with its care comes all too soon. Sleep ! sleep ! Sleep sweet, dear heart, and sleeping dream of me ; I would not e ' en in dreams forgotten be. And may the angel guards their watches keep. While thou dost safely, sweetly sleep. Sleep ! sleep ! O. H. 16