Davidson College - Quips and Cranks Yearbook (Davidson, NC)

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for it was found that ploughing and the Rible Course were extremely antagonistic. In those days if the boys wanted money they would write : 1 tear Father, please send some money right away, I ' ve worn out three plough points this week doing ' parallel work ' in Practical Agriculture, I ' ve had three back reviews to stand on it. The ghostly form became silent for a moment looking steadily at me as if in deep thought ; then a spectral smile lit up his face and he said : There is one consolation left me, however ; some ol the old landmarks still remain. One in particular is with us yet, and if appearances are not deceptive, will be for sometime. Long years ago it was when I first set eyes on bold young Oliver, the bright-eyed youth who e rippling peals of laughter chipped great chunks of plaster from the College walls. His like could be found nowhere, but alas, one day having fallen into Lake Wiley, he swore by the great red wart on his nasal proboscis, that as long as they continued to build dams on the lake, so long would he unfurl his brindle whiskers, uncut, to the winds of the west; a vow which he has faithfully kept to this day. Yes, it is indeed a pleasure to have our old friends with us after all these years, and Sir Oliver Cathcart ' s face always acts as a soporific when I feel my troubles bearing too heavily on me. His sylphlike form, the Very poetry of motion, as he glides like a startled faun over the campus, wakes sad memories in me of his lovely youth. A tear fell from the spectral eye, passed through the trunk with the ease of an x-ray, and dropped from sight. Wishing to relieve his feelings by a change of subject, 1 said, Hut Sir, what do you think of the College now-a-days ? How about the students, the Faculty and the equipments we have to-day? Are they not very superior to those of long ago ? He gave a deep groan, Superior, ! cried he j Stuff and nonsense. It is true you have made ' additions, ' but what are they? You have made a M

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I heard the dull thud which accompanies the Soph- omores ' fall on Greek. I have seen men come and go, some from the plough, others from the ribbon counter, and all bearing on them when they left the stamp of my powerful hand. You nor your like do not know me, now, but even you will feel my power in after years and realize the greatness of my influence. Here he pounded on the trunk lid ; that is, he struck at it, for there wasn ' t any sound .md his fist went right thro the lid. Honored Sir, said I, accept my humblest apologies for the statements I so rashly uttered a few moments ago, and tell me something of the life of the College in the good old days of it ' s infamy, and how we got here. The shade looked at me earnestly for a long time, cleared its ghostly throat with a peculiar noise, and said : My son. 1 come of the best stock in the country. It is true, I had to confine myself to a small building at first, but I grew by degrees until you see what 1 am to-day. The men who built that little brick building you call the Old Chapel were men of the Drumtochty style of archi- tecture ; shoulders as broad as their Hieland accent and having a great capacity for ' tastin ' and a won- derful knowledge of the Shorter Catechism. Ah, when 1 think of the days of my youth, he sighed, and, remembering these men, compare them with those of to-day, it gives me a terrible fit of the (pink and) blues. ,, my son, time- are not what they were. One of our principal subjects was practical ' SIR ol l I.K CA1 HCART farming, and it was a great sight to see a long line ol students ploughing over a piece of unbroken ground. Alas, though, this hail to be given up. ' 3

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lake, lint it is of such a nomadic nature that it ob- jects to any permanent geographical location, and anyone going in it for a swim is liable to find him- self on dry ground before he can get thoroughly wet. — By the way, have you heard what the latest project is ? No? Well, the Professor of Physics, you know, lias had numerous complaints sent in by the neighboring farmers, stating that it isn ' t safe to have such a large body of water roaming around tin i ountry without a chaperone, so tin: Doctor has followed tin plan used b) sailors during a storm at lie will co. it the banks of the lake with a deep layer of grease and oil, so when it rains the water will rise up in the air like a rain drop on a pane of glass. Large iron pipes will then be welded into the sides of the lake, aw the great pressure obtained will be used to supplj power for Bill Joe ' s ( Ihinese Laundry. But don ' t you think we have improved in othei n spects, I asked, lake, for instance, the intellectual capability of the student of to-day. From a phrenolo ;ical standpoint, isn ' t he superior to tin ise of former years ? You have an advantage, it is true, he replii d, in size of head, but the increased vi ilume is caused bya superfluity ofhirsute growth. Your big-headed men are either font ball cranks or else like Hum- phreys and I hue, — men in w horn the swellin i i m from the inside. No ! Ybu do not turn out men, now a days, like — well like — Henry LouisSmith, i ' i example,.? Asked I sarcastically. . pinkish flush passed over the spectre ' cheek, and he was plainly embarrassed. Dicky Harding, then, ? said I, determined to put a stop to his boasting. Well, said he, I ' ll admit you have the advantage ol me there. But then these two are exceptions to I HE TRUSTEES SMII I the rule, they are but two drops in the bucket, — You had better not spring that on the Professor of Physics, however, I added. I here is one thing he continued that you have improved and that is your Commencements. As I pass unseen thro ' the ga) i rowds that throng the campus, and watch the Trustee ' s expansive smile as he is pointed out the fact that v waterworks (even if we have done without them ' 5