Davidson College - Quips and Cranks Yearbook (Davidson, NC)

Page 17 text:

I heard the dull thud which accompanies the Soph- omores ' fall on Greek. I have seen men come and go, some from the plough, others from the ribbon counter, and all bearing on them when they left the stamp of my powerful hand. You nor your like do not know me, now, but even you will feel my power in after years and realize the greatness of my influence. Here he pounded on the trunk lid ; that is, he struck at it, for there wasn ' t any sound .md his fist went right thro the lid. Honored Sir, said I, accept my humblest apologies for the statements I so rashly uttered a few moments ago, and tell me something of the life of the College in the good old days of it ' s infamy, and how we got here. The shade looked at me earnestly for a long time, cleared its ghostly throat with a peculiar noise, and said : My son. 1 come of the best stock in the country. It is true, I had to confine myself to a small building at first, but I grew by degrees until you see what 1 am to-day. The men who built that little brick building you call the Old Chapel were men of the Drumtochty style of archi- tecture ; shoulders as broad as their Hieland accent and having a great capacity for ' tastin ' and a won- derful knowledge of the Shorter Catechism. Ah, when 1 think of the days of my youth, he sighed, and, remembering these men, compare them with those of to-day, it gives me a terrible fit of the (pink and) blues. ,, my son, time- are not what they were. One of our principal subjects was practical ' SIR ol l I.K CA1 HCART farming, and it was a great sight to see a long line ol students ploughing over a piece of unbroken ground. Alas, though, this hail to be given up. ' 3

Page 16 text:

coals, have planned and projected only to see all overwhelmed at last by the ruthless hand of Time. How insignificant man is, and how powerless ! Impelled by ambition, he strives day and night to accomplish his ends, only to be cast down and for- gotten at last. How much better off is the existence of the animal, who has no thoughts for the morrow and lives contented and untouched by the vanities of life. I had no sooner finished than I was suddenly- aware of the presence of another person in the room. Turning quickly around, I saw in the darkest corner a misty looking object bearing somewhat of a human shape, and yet thoroughly transparent, for I could see the wall right through it. I rubbed my eyes and coughed to dispel what appeared to me to be an optical delusion, but it remained in the same place. With my hair standing on m - head, I was about to ask who was there, when it began to speak. Miserable man, it said, why sit you here prattling as a child over your fancied ills ? What do you know of life and its troubles ? What do you know of the great men who have occupied the very room you sit in, grumbler that you are ? Thoroughly crestfa llen, I was trying to remem- ber the most approved methods of addressing shades, and at length cried out : O, your most transparent highness! Who might I have the felicity of addressing, — and-er- wont you have a chair ? Here I looked around, but finding that I occupied the only chair in the room, I became embarrassed. My visitor evidently THE DRUHtochTV ARCHITECTURE noticed this, and perching himself rather non- chalantly on my trunk, fixed his piercing eyes on me and began : Who am I ? I am he who watches over these venerable walls, ceaselessly, day and night. For sixty long years have I witnessed the annual arrival of crowds of verdant freshmen, for sixty years have

Page 18 text:

for it was found that ploughing and the Rible Course were extremely antagonistic. In those days if the boys wanted money they would write : 1 tear Father, please send some money right away, I ' ve worn out three plough points this week doing ' parallel work ' in Practical Agriculture, I ' ve had three back reviews to stand on it. The ghostly form became silent for a moment looking steadily at me as if in deep thought ; then a spectral smile lit up his face and he said : There is one consolation left me, however ; some ol the old landmarks still remain. One in particular is with us yet, and if appearances are not deceptive, will be for sometime. Long years ago it was when I first set eyes on bold young Oliver, the bright-eyed youth who e rippling peals of laughter chipped great chunks of plaster from the College walls. His like could be found nowhere, but alas, one day having fallen into Lake Wiley, he swore by the great red wart on his nasal proboscis, that as long as they continued to build dams on the lake, so long would he unfurl his brindle whiskers, uncut, to the winds of the west; a vow which he has faithfully kept to this day. Yes, it is indeed a pleasure to have our old friends with us after all these years, and Sir Oliver Cathcart ' s face always acts as a soporific when I feel my troubles bearing too heavily on me. His sylphlike form, the Very poetry of motion, as he glides like a startled faun over the campus, wakes sad memories in me of his lovely youth. A tear fell from the spectral eye, passed through the trunk with the ease of an x-ray, and dropped from sight. Wishing to relieve his feelings by a change of subject, 1 said, Hut Sir, what do you think of the College now-a-days ? How about the students, the Faculty and the equipments we have to-day? Are they not very superior to those of long ago ? He gave a deep groan, Superior, ! cried he j Stuff and nonsense. It is true you have made ' additions, ' but what are they? You have made a M