Daniel McIntyre Collegiate Institute - Breezes Yearbook (Winnipeg, Manitoba Canada)

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D.M.C.I. BREEZES 95 April The month of fools. Consequently, this month is similar to June. The zodiacal sign is “Cancer,” the terri¬ ble disease. On April 2 oysters are to go out of season, yet on April 3 several people will he found dead as a result of wilful and unlawful negli¬ gence of this law of etiquette. Um¬ brellas will he on sale from nine to twelve at T. Eaton Co. in the barbar¬ ous section. April showers bring forth many flowers; hut we don’t want them brought fourth, we want them first, don’t we ? April’s lucky day is Saturday (payday). May The sign of the zodiac is “Ursus Major,” the popular bear. There are four Thursdays in this month. Dur¬ ing Paramount week, May 10-11, Snub Pollard and Ben Turpin, will be the stars. Other stars appearing this month are Mars, Jupiter and Orion’s Belt. (Owing to severe storms and fogs, the buckle has been misplaced and will not appear until 1933.) On the eighteenth a great revolution will take place in Russia, and something will be rotten in the state of Den¬ mark; but we should worry, we’re not in Denmark. Lucky days are Monday to Sunday, inversely. The birthstone is the Mother-of-Pearl, or, in other words, Mrs. Jones. June “Asparagus,” the vegetable. Un¬ lucky days are from the first to the thirtieth, inclusive. The baseball sea¬ son will open at the Wesley, and three Scotsmen will be injured (from fall¬ ing off a tree). Due to interplan¬ etary interference, we shall have great snowstorms this month. (Use Dr. Quack’s Duck Pills—Good for Protoplasm.—Advt.) On June 19 the world will come to its second end. (This is a remarkable phenomenon, as the earth happens to be round.) Cele¬ brations will be held on the Queen’s birthday all over the United States, including Poland, Russia, Brandon and other large cities. This month’s birthstone is the Alligator Ruby, from the wilds of far-off central Scotland. July The month of “Leo,” the leopard. This is a good month for garden vege¬ tables, rumrunners and other alco¬ holic athletes. The plants and plan¬ ets appearing this month are Hebri¬ des, Geranium, Vines, Venus and Nas¬ turtium — nasturtim — nastur, and Roses. We predict fine weather for automobile salesmen and other swin¬ dlers. The June Examination Results COMPLIMENTS OF Gla rk-£ea th e rda le Go. £td. FUNERAL DIRECTORS 232 KENNEDY STREET, WINNIPEG PHONE 27 311

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94 D. M. C. I. BREEZES ALMANAC FOR 1932 By IMA Quackdoc General Forecast This year will be good for every¬ one, especially revenue officers and politicians. Nothing of great impor¬ tance will happen except that the world will come to an end three times. The Leaning Tower of Pisa will tumble down, and this will be featured on the front page of the Elmwood Herald. Now read on: January This is the month of “Sagarittus,” the furnace-man. The planets ap¬ pearing this month are Mercury, Ve¬ nus and Hercules. Owing to a typo¬ graphical error, Saturn will not ap¬ pear at all this month. Sorry, but this is f inal. People bom in Janu¬ ary usually have weak ankles. Avoid brown-eyed, blue-eyed and green- eyed girls. In general, avoid girls. February The zodiacal sign for this month is “Tarsus”—the chicken’s foot. Dur¬ ing this month there will be no full moon, which will be a bit hard on the young people, but cheer up—we’ll send you one next month. Planets appearing this month are Jupiter, Saturn and Rin-Tin-Tin, the dog star. Keep away from wine, women and customs inspectors. Cold weather will hold its place up until February 18, then we shall have fine weather, in¬ cluding three four-day blizzards. February’s birthstone is the Chrys¬ anthemum. (See Ashdown’s display window, third floor.) March This is the month of “Numa,” the lion. Living up to its reputation, March comes in like a lion, but then lies down on its back. Some famous marches are: the March hare, the Dead March and the Marchioness of Salisbury. On March 8 the world will come to an end. In spite of this, on St. Patrick’s day there will be a free-for-all hand encounter on Mar¬ ket Square in honor of the noble Irish. The City Council will referee. Red-haired people bom in this month make good firemen. Avoid wearing winter underwear. Lucky colors are voilet to red, and vice-versa. This month is especially good for parades, as it is march, march, march. lH. iKrrrrr DRY GOODS Men’s Furnishings — Boots and Shoes Ladies’ and Children’s Ready to Wear 889 Portage at Arlington Phone 39 065

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96 D. M. C. I. BREEZES will be the only sensation of the month. Colors predominating in this month will be Yellow, Red, Green, Tooke and Arrow. August The month of “Raggus,” the dish¬ cloth. This is a lucky month for all revenue officers and politicians. Sev¬ eral meteors will be seen in the sky, including gas-meters and centimeters. That reminds us of a verse we know. Note the metre: There’s meters of gas, There’s meters of light— But the best meter I know Is to meet her tonight. Cold weather will continue up until August 31, 1931, B.S. (Before Sep¬ tember). Several murders will take place in Tasmania and other parts of South Africa. The flowers appearing this month are Lilies, Violets and Roses. By special arrangement other flowers that can be seen are Jean, Joan, June and Jane. People born under “Raggus” have the inclination to become waiters in Childs’. September The zodiacal sign is “Horace,” the domestic animal. September 1 starts this month and, as usual, all the boys and girls gaily trip back to school (for the first few days). This is a prosperous month for Chicagoans, as machine guns of exquisite designs (some have bad designs) will be per¬ fected and the shooting of men will be wiped out—also, the men. We pre¬ dict that the National League pen¬ nant will be won by the team with the highest percentage of points. During September the autumn leaves will begin to fall, thus giving plenty of work for the City Council. Cold weather will set in. It will be about 20° in the shade, but you don’t have to stay in the shade. There will only be about 105 more shoplifting days until Christmas. Get yours done early. Buy Christmas seals, but be careful what you feed them. Sep¬ tember’s flower is the Forget-Me-Not —a symbolism of the return to school. October “Nero,” the dog, governs this month. Universal week commences October 3 and ends October 4. Each child attending any performance will be given a Universal typewriter, while adults, 80 years of age or over, will be admitted free—if accompanied by their parents. The planets ap¬ pearing this month are Adonis and Pluto. Several others will appear, but they won’t be seen. Owing to Rin-Tin-Tin’s illness, Sirius, the dog star, will substitute. Several cold spells will start about the twenty- first and will last until the tweny- second. On the twenty-fifth of this month the duck-shooting season will commence. Last year out of 6,519,- 432 ducks only 5,015 were shot. (The HYGIENIC DAIRY E BONNE PURE MILK AND CREAM (All Milk from Tuberculin Tested Cows) Phone 80 867