Daniel McIntyre Collegiate Institute - Breezes Yearbook (Winnipeg, Manitoba Canada)

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30 D.M.C. I. BREEZES his first day in Canada was enough for George. He obeyed, inwardly pro¬ testing, but outwardly with the great¬ est possible show of eagerness. He took his place in front of the pillar, holding his paper well up in front of his face, but lowering it every minute or so, to see whether or not the thief was approaching. Stop it, you idiot,” came in an agonized whisper from the detective. “Can’t you act natural?” George tried his best to look inno¬ cent, but the best he could manage was a cross between the attitude of a martyr and that of a society debu¬ tante upon her presentation. The thief, however, was too anxious to secure the wallet to bother about George. He had hardly got settled when the pickpocket approached him. “Have you a match, buddy?” he enquired. George dug down into his pocket and, produced a box. The stranger thanked him, and remained in con¬ versation with him for several min¬ utes. If George had not been pre¬ pared for it, he would never have known that his pockets were being rifled, for the thief was a past master. Having extracted everything of value from the pockets of his victim, the man moved off with a careless, “So,- long,” and was soon lost to view in the crowd. The detective followed him to the door, where he accused him of the robbery. With the wallet in his pos¬ session, and confronted by his victim, he could not deny his guilt, and he was soon manacled to the detective and led out of the station. George followed them out of the station to the taxi, which was waiting to bear the thief to the police station. The detective paused with his foot upon the running-board, and turning to George, said: “You’ll have to come down to the station with me and iden¬ tify this guy. Then you can get your wallet and watch and put a claim in for expenses.” Accordingly George climbed hastily in after the officer, and. the car moved off. It was hardly under way, how¬ ever, before the thief began to strug¬ gle. He heaved and bit and scratched, so that it was all George and the detective could do to hold him. The driver pulled into the curb and the three of them soon had him under control. When they had him subdued, the detective turned to George and said: “It’ll take more’n the two of us to keep him quiet until we get to the station, so you’d better run over to the drug-store and ’phone for an¬ other constable. Still panting, George hurried across to the store, and with some difficulty, managed to get the police station. “Hello. Police headquarters?” he gasped, “Send up a man to Mountain and Laurier right away.” After thanking the proprietor for the use of the ’phone, George croosed the street to where he had left the taxi. It was nowhere to be seen. Puzzled,, he paused upon the sidewalk irreso¬ lute. The driver of one of the cabs lined up by the curb volunteered some information. “That car drove off as soon as you left. It went down that way.” “But—he shouldn’t have done that. I’ve got to go down to the station with them. They’ve got my watch and wallet.” “Gee.” That’s tough. I’ll drive you down. Hop in.” “Oh, no.. They didn’t take it. You needn’t waste your sympathy on me. I don’t need it,” replied George, who was by now quite angry. The cab driver began to look ugly, but, fortunately, a policeman hurried up.

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D.M.C. I. BREEZES 29 shouting at the top of his voice. George hailed him, and asked him, in a deferential tone, for a copy of the evening paper. Glancing at his face, the hoy grinned, knowingly, and de¬ manded twenty-five cents for it. The intricasies of Canadian currency were still mysteries to George, and he brought forth his wallet, crammed with notes, and, selecting a five-dol- lar bill, handed it to the boy. At the sight of the wallet, the lad’s eyes opened wide, but, with an effort, he turned his attention to his change. Taking his paper and change, George commenced to read, leaning still against the pillar, but his atten¬ tion wandered, and he soon became absorbed, in watching the fussing crowd. Mentally, he compared them rather unfavorably with the friends and neighbors of his youth. Why, he mused, old Tim Shaugnessy, who owned the largest farm in the dis¬ trict, and who, had turned sixty-five last autumn, could twist any two of these puny weaklings around his fingers, while, if a man of sixty-five, who had worked hard and long all his life could do that, what could not any of his other six-foot, fifteen- stone neighbors do? Still ruminating thus, he let his gaze stray over the crowd. Suddenly he stared, incredulous. Were these people mad as well as weak? There was a small, insignificant-looking slip of a man, running up and down the platform, following first one passer¬ by, and then another. He would run after one for the space of a few min¬ utes, then leave that one, and follow another. Puzzled, George watched the man closely. Then he gasped. The fellow was a pickpocket! Un¬ noticed in the hurry and confusion, he was quietly and, methodically ex¬ tracting wallets and valuables from the pockets of the unsuspecting crowd. The flash of the silver and gold of the watches in the glare of the arc-lights could just he discerned by an intent observer. It took several minutes for it to dawn upon him that he had better let someone in authority know about it. Besides, the thief had probably seen the wallet as George had paid the newsboy, and would be over to get it in a few minutes. He would have to find a policeman immediately. He turned quickly, searching frantically for the familiar blue uniform, and, bumped into a tall, well-dressed man who was coming up behind him. “I beg your pardon,” said the stranger in a pleasant voice, “You seem in an awful hurry.” “Yes. I want a policeman. Where can I find one?” demanded George. “A policeman? Would I do? I’m Detective-Sergeant Archibald, of the force.” Surprised at his good fortune, George poured out his story in a few minutes, pointing to the suspect as he did so. “H’m. We can’t arrest him just on suspicion, because no one will be able to identify the goods, as none of the victims knows he has been robbed. We must find some way of catching him red-handed. Let me see. Ah! I have it.” Speaking rapidly, he outlined his plan. “You stand here, by this pole. Take out your paper and read it. You say this fellow saw your wallet. Then he’ll probably come and get it. Let him take it, and then I’ll arrest him. I’ll stay here in the back.” “But—” began George, when the other interrupted him. “Hurry up, you fool, you’ll spoil it all. You’ve got to help me whether you want to or not, I’ll have you ar¬ rested for obstructing a police officer in the performance of his duty.” The thought of being arrested upon

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D.M.C. I. BREEZES 31 “Are you the guy what ’phoned from the drug-store for a cop?” he demanded of George. “Yes. I wanted you to help me hold a pickpocket, but he’s gone.” Seeing the look of blank amaze¬ ment upon the face of the officer, he hastened to pour out his tale. As the story drew to a close, the look of amazement on the face of the police¬ man gave place to one of scorn. “Why, ya ham, that guy wasn’t no detective. No more’n you are. Just a minute, and I’ll ’phone the station and see if there is anyone there by that name.” In a few minutes he returned. “Nope. No one there by that name at all. Tough luck,” he said, grinning. PETS Having heard of the abominable way in which pets of various kinds are being treated in these barbarous days, we have decided to give a few hints to the rising generation. Origi¬ nal minds will have chosen the rarer kinds, and it is with these that we propose to deal. To begin with, white mice, being subject to fierce attacks of hypochon¬ dria, if cooped up, should be allowed to wander freely through the house, and sit at the table with the rest of the family. Guinea-pigs, however, should be kept secluded in boxes for one, tea for two being strictly prohibited. Also tails should be cultivated so that after their weekly wash they may be hung out to dry. Tortoises, being subject to adipos¬ ity, are very sensitive about their appearance. Therefore, hurdles should be erected on the front lawn for their benefit. Monkeys should be provided with ukuleles, treated as members of the family and venerated as noble an¬ cestors. As goats are exceedingly delicate, Dr. Chase’s Nerve Food should be ad¬ ministered. If kept in the attic, the continual ascending and descending of the stairs will keep them athletic. If hives for beekeeping are too ex¬ pensive, perforated buckets will serve admirably. The mellifluous insects may be enticed, by holding a roasted sausage over the buckets, whilst plaintively whistling “Where the Bee Sucks”—their national anthem. Birds should be kept chained in kennels and fed on lentils and cold rice pudding. To capture these ani¬ mals, either shoot them (in which case they probably will never sing again), or lasso them. Tadpoles should never be washed, as it is injurious to the complexion, but should be allowed to graze on the lawn for at least half the day. To prevent them becoming frogs, stew them—they make excellent soup. PETTY. CYCLING To cycle is to proceed upon a bi¬ cycle, and a bicycle is a machine hav¬ ing two wheels, the hinder of which is propelled by turning the legs about a third wheel so that another smaller wheel connected to the small wheel by a chain turns around the large back wheel. Possibly! We will, how¬ ever, amend this statement by say¬ ing that a bicycle is (as the name does not imply) a machine with four wheels. However, the novice should have a clear idea of the names given to the various spare parts. To begin with, the “handlebars,” a piece of twisted metal, are situated in a convenient position to be grasped occasionally, to prevent the rider from falling off. The “bell,” attached to the “handle¬ bars,” has a trigger which, when pulled, causes a shrill sound to be emitted—this will break the monot-