Daniel McIntyre Collegiate Institute - Breezes Yearbook (Winnipeg, Manitoba Canada)

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50 D. M. C. I. BREEZES’ Mussolini has at last established the truth of an old saying—the king can do no wrong. (He hasn’t got a chance.) An arm protruding from the side of a machine ahead signfies any one of the following things: The motorist is (1) knocking ashes off his cigarette, (2) going to turn to the left, (3) warning a small boy to shut up, (4) going to turn to the right, (5) pointing to the scenery, (6) going to back up, (7) feeling for rain, (8) telling the wife he is sure the front door is locked, (9) going to stop, (10) hailing a friend in a passing car. Oxford: “The Prince of Wales has a new horse—‘Dandruff.’ ” Cambridge: “Why do they call (7) -77 9 7 him Dandruff?” o(ja ujLC [(VC, Oxford: “Because he makes the heir fall.” Mr. Murphy: “Use the name ‘Lon Chaney’ in a sentence.” Snusher: “As I’m not particular where I eat, I ’ll Lon Chaney where you want.” A woman’s aim is usually at her husband. If the late Mr. Burbank had tried crossing the cabbage and the asparagus, he might have evolved a ready-made cigar. A northern railway contractor recently advertised for 250 sleep¬ ers. A very fed-up clergyman of¬ fered his entire congregation at a knockout price. “My boy, think of the future.” “I can’t; it’s my girl’s birthday and I must think of the present.” i Saw one man speeding to get the latest model home before it became obsolete. Man in elevator: “Fourth floor, please.” Operator: “Here you are, son.” Man in elevator: “How dare you call me son? You’re not my father.” Operator: “Well, I brought you up, didn’t I?” ’ ' » “I bought a new model loud speaker yesterday.” “Yell. What hoarse power?”

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I). M. C. I. BREEZES 49 So said the writer, Swift. They come to us in reams, in lumps, Though few evince the gift! We place them all beneath the fan And let our “Breezes” blow; The lighter ones are far away, The “Krazy Kracks”—below. ■ Mr. Riter: “What is one-half of one-tenth?” Primary: “I don’t know exactly, but it won’t be very much.” Geo. Smith: “Mr. Best, T haven’t a pen.” Mr. Best: “What would you think of a soldier who went into battle without his gun?” Geo.: “I would think he was an officer.” Mr. McCabe (to Room 14) : “If I drop this explosive it will blow us all to Kingdom Come.’ Now come closer so you can follow me.” • Mr. Morgan: “What is the English equivalent for ‘fugit’?” Roy: “Male insects.” Mr. Morgan: “Explain yourself.” Ray: “lie fleas.” The man came from Banfield’s, Alas we couldn’t pay, So he took our furniture, On a due, due, duev day. Alvin Kennedy, of Newark, N.J., sat on the top of a flag pole for twelve days and twelve nights. Then he came down, the automobile salesmen bad starved to death.

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D. M. C. I. BREEZES 51 “What do you think of these nifty two-for-a-quarter cigars?” ‘‘You must have gotten the twenty cent one.” Rural Autoist: “I want some tires.” Automobile Salesman: ‘‘Balloon tirek?” R.A.: “No, automobile tires.” % Our idea of a tactful hostess is a lady who, when a guest knocks b over a salt ce llar, kicks the legs from under the table and jerks the chandelier out of the ceiling to keep the offender from feeling em¬ barrassed. - Modern Surgeon: “How’s the patient with the mule gland opera¬ tion this morning?” Nurse: “Not so well, sir; he kicked himself unconscious last night.” ' She: “But I thought this place was always crowded.” He: “It usually is, between seven and eight, but I believe in coming late to avoid the rush that comes early to avoid the rush.” “Well, come down tomorrow morning and I’ll put you to work.” “Tomorrow? I couldn’t possibly come until the day after,” “Why?” “Why, tomorrow I must take part in the great demonstration of protest of the unemployed.” Judge: “What’s the charge against this man, officer?” Cop: “Arson, Your Honor; burning up the road.” He sold his brain to a research laboratory, but he fooled them; he didn’t have any brain. • • • “I have a breaking out all over my face.” “Rash?” “No, beard.” • Mendicant: “I am really an author—I once wrote a book called the “One Hundred Ways to Earn Money.” Gentleman: “Then why are you begging?” Mendicant: “That’s one of the hundred ways. ” “Three weeks ago I couldn’t play a note.” “Well?” “Now I can play one note.”