Daniel McIntyre Collegiate Institute - Breezes Yearbook (Winnipeg, Manitoba Canada)

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26 D. M. C. I. BREEZES Policeman (taking evidence from Miss Kinley): “Did you see the number of the car?” Miss Kinley: “No, but it has a horn that sounded ‘C’ in the key of ‘B’ sharp.” « “Did you call me a liar?” “Not at all. I merely remarked that the sinuosity of your ultimate conclusion was due to a superficial appreciation of the veracious reality.” Judge (to prisoner) : “When were you born?” (No answer from prisoner.) Judge: “Did you hear me?” Prisoner: “Whadda you care, you aren’t going to give me a birth¬ day present.” « Si « Mr. Cooke: “Say, you’ll have to improve your writing.” Pupil (meekly): “Yes, but if I do the teachers will find out how I spell.” « m A women going for an automobile ride for the first time, noticed the driver was constantly putting out his hand when turning corners. This rather upset her and she shouted: “Keep your hands on the wheel. I’ll tell you when it’s raining.” Pat: “I dreamed about you last night, Mike’.’ Mike: “Well, what did you dream?” Pat: “I dreamed that you were walking down Portage Ave. leading a donkey and sing¬ ing ‘Me and My Shadow.’ ” Headline: “Girl Bent on Atlantic Hop.” Well, everybody predicted something awful would happen to her, although they didn’t exactly think it would come to that. Musical Enthusiasts: “We’ve just come from Tannhauser. It was glorious.” Deaf Friend: “Ah, yes! They told me the weather was much better abroad than at home last week.” “Now Benny, can you spell ‘avoid?’ ” “The Long and Short ! o . , . , of Room 12” Sure, what is der void? M.L.-R12

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D. M. C. I. BREEZES 25 Teacher (in good humor) : “As I gaze about me this morning, I see before me a great many bright and shining faces.” Immediately forty compacts made their appearance. A rich but eccentric man died. The clergyman who was young and new to the parish, thought it a fitting opportunity to call and comfort the widow. “You must not grieve,” he told her. “The body that lies there is not your husband. It is merely a husk, an empty shell, the nut has gone to heaven.” Joe College: “Now I wonder where I left my hat.” M.L.-R12 Motor Cop to Mr. Riter: “So you saw the accident, sir? What was the number of the car that knocked this man down?” Mr. Riter: “I’m afraid I’ve forgotten it, but I remember noticing that if it were multiplied by fifty, the cube root of the product would be equal to the sum of its digits reversed.” ■ Old gentleman (lost in fog and hearing footsteps) : “Can you tell me where I’m going?” Weary voice (from darkness): “Into the river; I just came out.” Nervous passenger in aerial taxi about 5,000 feet up: “ Wh-a-at are you laughing at driver?” Driver: “I’m laughing at the superintendent. About this time he will be looking all over the lunatic asylum for me.” • • Millionaire ( speaking to a body of students about his great finan¬ cial triumph): “All my success I owe to pluck.” Student: “Yes, but how are we to know the right people to pluck?” First Jew: “Machinery does everything nowadays.” Second Jew: “I don’t know about that, talking is still done by hand.” s First Pupil: “What do you thing of Son and So?” Second Pupil: “I don’t like him. He’s one of those fellows that pat you on the back before your face, and hit you in the eye behind your back.”

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D. M. C. I. BREEZE S 27 ANNOUNCEMENTS ORATORICAL CONTEST oratorical contest that is open to all members of the school will b§ held after the New Year. Some suggested topics are: Canada’s Place in the British Empire. Mineral Resources of Manitoba. The Value of a High School Education. The Evils of Immigration. The Influence of the Modern Newspaper. The Passing of the North American Indian. Improvements in Locomotion. The Legend of the Holy Grail. British Rule in India. Manitoba Pioneers. Poetry and Life. Pioneers of Science. Manitoba Bird Life. The Saving Grace of Humour. Progress of Industry in Manitoba. The League of Nations. International Peace. The Immigration Problem. The Conquest of Disease. Zionism. Any entrant may submit some other topic for approval to his teacher of English. All entries are to be made by January 6th, 1928. The time limit for each contestant is ten minutes. The last week of February will probably be the time for the final contest. PRIZE COMPETITIONS ' PHE Poetry Group, Canadian Authors’ Association, Montreal Branch, announces its new prize competitions for 1927-1928. 1. —For members of the Poetry Group only: A prize of books, or a sketch by a Canadian artist (or other object, chosen by the winner), to the value of $25, given by Lady Roddick, for the best poem (English or French). 2. — ' Twenty-five dollars for the best short poem (English), by a Canadian over 18 years, residing in Canada, given by Mrs. R. E. Mac- Dougall. 3. —Fifteen dollars for the best short poem (French), by a Canadian over 18 years, residing in Canada, given by Mrs. Jeffrey H. Burland.. 4. —Ten dollars for the best short poem (English), by a Canadian