Daniel McIntyre Collegiate Institute - Breezes Yearbook (Winnipeg, Manitoba Canada)

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D. M. C. I. BREEZES 25 Teacher (in good humor) : “As I gaze about me this morning, I see before me a great many bright and shining faces.” Immediately forty compacts made their appearance. A rich but eccentric man died. The clergyman who was young and new to the parish, thought it a fitting opportunity to call and comfort the widow. “You must not grieve,” he told her. “The body that lies there is not your husband. It is merely a husk, an empty shell, the nut has gone to heaven.” Joe College: “Now I wonder where I left my hat.” M.L.-R12 Motor Cop to Mr. Riter: “So you saw the accident, sir? What was the number of the car that knocked this man down?” Mr. Riter: “I’m afraid I’ve forgotten it, but I remember noticing that if it were multiplied by fifty, the cube root of the product would be equal to the sum of its digits reversed.” ■ Old gentleman (lost in fog and hearing footsteps) : “Can you tell me where I’m going?” Weary voice (from darkness): “Into the river; I just came out.” Nervous passenger in aerial taxi about 5,000 feet up: “ Wh-a-at are you laughing at driver?” Driver: “I’m laughing at the superintendent. About this time he will be looking all over the lunatic asylum for me.” • • Millionaire ( speaking to a body of students about his great finan¬ cial triumph): “All my success I owe to pluck.” Student: “Yes, but how are we to know the right people to pluck?” First Jew: “Machinery does everything nowadays.” Second Jew: “I don’t know about that, talking is still done by hand.” s First Pupil: “What do you thing of Son and So?” Second Pupil: “I don’t like him. He’s one of those fellows that pat you on the back before your face, and hit you in the eye behind your back.”

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24 D. M. C. I. BREEZES Caller: “I would like to see the judge, please.” Secretary: “I’m sorry, but he is at dinner.’’ Caller: “But, my man, my call is urgent.” Secretary: “It can’t he helped, His Honour is at steak.” Host: “What do you think of these cigars; I got them from an aviator?” Guest: “What does he use them for—sky-writing?” Pupil: “Our literature teacher has given me a ticket for a lecture and I don’t quite know ! what he means by it.” Another Slave: “Why, what’s t’he trouble?” Pupil: “The lecture is on ‘Fools’ and the ticket says ‘Admit One.’ ” m Mr. Ford plans to operate an aeroplane Pullman. It wdll be a serious matter then if the porter brushes you off. Overheard at the Senior Dance: She: “What a remarkably small appetite you have, Jack.” He (very anxious to say something compliment¬ ary) : “Why to sit near you, Margaret, would make anybody lost his appetite.” The Hero (in broken, anguish-stricken tones): “Will you miss me?” Voice from the “Gods”: “No, not unless you dodge pretty quick,” meal”

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26 D. M. C. I. BREEZES Policeman (taking evidence from Miss Kinley): “Did you see the number of the car?” Miss Kinley: “No, but it has a horn that sounded ‘C’ in the key of ‘B’ sharp.” « “Did you call me a liar?” “Not at all. I merely remarked that the sinuosity of your ultimate conclusion was due to a superficial appreciation of the veracious reality.” Judge (to prisoner) : “When were you born?” (No answer from prisoner.) Judge: “Did you hear me?” Prisoner: “Whadda you care, you aren’t going to give me a birth¬ day present.” « Si « Mr. Cooke: “Say, you’ll have to improve your writing.” Pupil (meekly): “Yes, but if I do the teachers will find out how I spell.” « m A women going for an automobile ride for the first time, noticed the driver was constantly putting out his hand when turning corners. This rather upset her and she shouted: “Keep your hands on the wheel. I’ll tell you when it’s raining.” Pat: “I dreamed about you last night, Mike’.’ Mike: “Well, what did you dream?” Pat: “I dreamed that you were walking down Portage Ave. leading a donkey and sing¬ ing ‘Me and My Shadow.’ ” Headline: “Girl Bent on Atlantic Hop.” Well, everybody predicted something awful would happen to her, although they didn’t exactly think it would come to that. Musical Enthusiasts: “We’ve just come from Tannhauser. It was glorious.” Deaf Friend: “Ah, yes! They told me the weather was much better abroad than at home last week.” “Now Benny, can you spell ‘avoid?’ ” “The Long and Short ! o . , . , of Room 12” Sure, what is der void? M.L.-R12