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Page 68 text:
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Rich Skelton Jim Smith John Stephens Tony Stevens saB 64 Learnint ' A
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Page 67 text:
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Art Jenkins Connie Raub Martha Sheehy Social Science 63
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Page 69 text:
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some pushups. .p ja Cmelak impson Pcpers Vindictive Teachers Strike Back Well, this morning I was kidn apped by an exotic cult who took me to LAX to sell flowers. Then a mob of tourists from Japan surrounded me and kept taking my picture. They liked me so much that they made me go to Disneyland with them. On the way to Anaheim, the bus was hijacked by a terrorist who forced us to go to Zimbabwe ' s embassy to protest their insistence on selling pigs to Upper Volta. But the bus got a flat, and I was able to escape. Luckily, Goofy drove by in his jalopy and gave me a lift back to school. I ' m sorry, but I left my homework in Goofy ' s car. This, and numerous other outrageous but creative excuses, was the work of a student who had the audacity to be late to Mr. Btftera ' s class. Two-page creative excuse essays, a technique also employed by Mr. Morgan, are only one of several torturous punishments devised by vindictive teachers. Teachers with cruel penalties included Mr. Imbilli, whose treatment of tardy students led to some pulled muscles of those who had to do push-ups. Many teachers forced kids to pick up trash or sit in the corner. If you ate in certain classes, you could expect to share your food with your hungry teacher. Another favorite for all teachers was to force whoever was chewing gum to scrape old gum off the bottom of desks during lunch. Students who failed to listen to the bulletin during Ms. Evans ' second period class could expect to be shot by her high-powered water gun (confiscated from Fred Forbes). O So, the next time you think of ditching class, chewing gum or not turning in your homework, you might want to think twice. 1. Getting caught for chc ' ' ing gutn is a serious offense, and the punishment is disgusting, as Pat Borkhcim discovers. 2. Bein absent from P.E. is punishable by r 3. Having to sit in the corner may be an archaic discipline, but as Matt Glenn shows, it is siill us«4- 4. Mr. Imbilli is notorious for his practice tardy students like Bill Haounon to do ' Duncan McGraw and Kfa
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