Cut Bank High School - Wolf Yearbook (Cut Bank, MT)

Page 12 text:

8 THE OWLET “Helen Henry,” I yelled in glee at the machine. Helen appeared before the footlights of the most exclusive theater on Broadway. She did a very fascinating oriental dance called the “Chinese Dragon.” She was quite a little charmer. Four men had died for her love but Helen believed in women’s rights so marriage was taboo with her. I decided then to look her up when I got to New York. She would be able to give me some pointers for the book I was writing called “Why Men Are Bossy,” and I don’t mean cows either. Virginia Phillips was the next victim. There is little I can say about her except that she was very successful in music, being the most sought after accompanist in the world. Mabel Morgan was next to be seen. She was in a large building taking dictation from the President of the United States. It turned out that she had become one of the country’s best stenographers. Emile Bonnet was then called for. He was in Hollywood and a very successful actor. But then, Emile always had a special way of making love. Irene McLean was the only girl I hadn’t looked up so I expected a climax. I got it. She was touring the country playing her sax in a two-bit vaudeville. Poor Rene, she had such high ambitions. But don’t cry, there is a millionaire back in Cut Bank, who is very much interested in her. So you see it isn’t as bad as it sounds. Rene just fell for one of those “See America First” posters, so she’s doing it with her sax. Michael Burke, the great hero of our school play in ’31, has come to a very great catastrophe. He was a rich banker. I say was, because he was. He’s in the insane asylum now. It was this way. One night he had a nightmare and thought he was back giving the assembly play “You’re A Coo-Coo.” He started yelling “Coo-coo, Coo-coo,” and flopping his arms, and well—now he’s serving time. Poor kid, he was such a bright boy, too. I had just fifteen minutes in which to catch the train, so after bidding Harry goodbye I made my way to the station. In the rush of leaving I forgot to look up Esther Stufft. I caught my train and was sitting and bemoaning my fate when a beautiful lady came up and spoke to me. She was Esther! VVe visited all the rest of the way to New York. She told me she had a pet dog that had been run over. She felt very bad about it, so in memory to him she was devoting her life to the promotion of humane treatment of cats and dogs. She was left a large fortune to carry on her work. There is no need to say that that was the most enjoyable trip I ever took. —L. H.

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THE OWLST 7 Class Prophlcy Supposedly in 1961 Not long ago I passed through Chicago on my way to New York. I stopped off to do some business. I stayed in one of the good hotels and while I was in the lobby who should come in but Professor Harry Morgan. I hardly recognized him as one of the class of ’31 of C. B. H. S., he had changed so much. He had gray hair and would you believe it, he had a beard that came to a point at his chin and gave him a very dignified, knowing look. We started a conversation and he told me he had just perfected a machine that enabled you to see any one at any time; all you had to do was say the name and look through a lens. The fact that I had seen him brought back memories of ’31. I asked about the rest of the gang. He invited me to his exclusive bachelor residence to see for myself. We left immediately for his home. There we had a delightful dinner. I had about three hours to spend before train time so I asked to see the machine right after dinner. He took me to his laboratory and set up the machine. I called for George Johnston first, and right before me he appeared. He was seated on the grandstand of a great race track. It seems that he had acquired an extraordinary taste for fillies when he was a senior; and so ever since he had been following the races. I next called for Helen Winkler. There she was in her little apartment at Great Falls. She was employed in the Building and Loan Association and getting along fine. But still unmarried. But then what would the world do without old maids ? Thomas Jones was the next one called. Believe it or not, he was the king of the Underworld right there in “Chi”. He had run “Scar Face Al” out three years after he left C. B. H. S. and Cut Bank. I was beginning to get a tremendous kick out of that machine. Ruth Strong was asked for. She appeared in a funny looking city. American cities didn’t look like that. She was seated at a piano and singing scales. Gradually it dawned on me that she was studying music in Paris. Ruth had been in a train wreck and besides wrecking a new hat, her voice was also wrecked. She was in Paris trying to get it back. By the way, she didn’t have any neighbors left. They all left the first week after her arrival. “Arne Johnston,” I called. As if by magic he appeared. I’d like to go on forever telling about Arne and his surroundings but all I have time to say now is that he was a storekeeper on Mars.

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THE OWLET 9 Last Will and Testament We, the Senior Class of 1931, being of sound minds, and about to leave this school of trials and temptations to the care of our inferiors, do hereby make, publish and declare this to be our last will and testament. It will be noted here that if there is any squabbling or hard feelings over any of the following items, this Will will be effectively declared null and void. To the Faculty the Senior Class wills a little peace and clear sailing from now on. Norman Vasboe wills to Boyd Whitehead all his sheikish ways on one condition, that said person read and use his new article on “How to Hold Women.” Mike Burke leaves to Windy Poore his long lengthy years in the C. B. H. S. Let’s hope he will live up to them. Louise Haglund wills to Eleanor Strong her flighty ways and her knowledge of the school gossip so that this school won’t be stale in the future. We leave to Miss Quast all the typing and shorthand papers to keep as a memorandum in which to remember the ability of the class of ’31. This is providing she does not use them as a good example. To Leona Davis we leave Irene McLean’s slender figure and her capability to go through revolving doors the first tryout. Thomas Jones leaves his manly figure and his frequent sleeping periods to Howard Halvorson. Our bird-like voices and our skill at skipping Glee Club regularly are left to Miss Lees. To Mr. Davis we leave our empty seats in the Senior row to be filled as he thinks best. (Most of the seats will have to be made smaller.) Emile Bonnet leaves his good humor and his horse and chaps to anyone who will appreciate and care for them. Harry Morgan wills his noisy, talkative ways to Frank Whetstone who has the quiet, sublime way which so captures all the teachers. Mabel Morgan leaves her quiet, peaceful actions to Elizabeth Kurth. To Mr. Taylor we leave our good marks in Chem. and all the broken tubes and bottles found in the drawers. Esther Stufft wills her studiousness and literary skill to Ruff Jones, who we hope will profit by so excellent an example. Helen Henry leaves to Louise Boyd her nack at catching and holding the male sex. Also she leaves Selden to any girl who can further hold his interests. Virginia Phillips leaves her talent at tickling the keys to Ray Olson, so that the High School won’t be without a musician. Ruth Strong leaves to William Clapper the place as best singer, to hold and to cherish through all his school years. George Johnston bequests to Allyn Hale his frequent dates with the Freshmen girls with this one recommendation, that he put full effort into the task. To Bernard Klien we leave the task of putting pep and fun into the High School parties, as we won’t be here to do so. To the Janitor we leave this advice—not to look too hard after we leave for gum, notes, etc.—for—he might find them. I duly swear that this is the last will and Testament of the Senior Class of the Cut Bank High School in the year of our Lord 1931. (Signed): CLASS OF ’31.