Cumnock School - Chronicle Yearbook (Los Angeles, CA)

Page 142 text:

WHAT OUR READERS SAY: Dear Mr. Hensel: I feel it incumbent upon me to call attention to the utter absurdity of your feature stories. It is quite obvious that they are untrue. L. H. Woody. Better Go Back to Byron, Mrs. W., Shucks, We Believe in Our Characters arid So Do Bob Elder and Clarence. o-O-o Editor: A I read one of your advertisements and sent for a steel engraving of George Washington for one dollar, and all I got was a stampf Your mag- azine is crooked. Marjorie Kennedy. Now, Marge, Dorft Be Too Hard On Us. Editors Must Live. o-O-o Dear Mr. Hensel: I think Quiddleton McDiIlpuddIer's stories are keen. My sister and I buy them all. Please have more stories like Purple Passion. Karen Okey. Sorry, Karen, 'Theres No More Purple Passion Left4jim Weaver Got the Last of It. o-O-o Dear Editor: I sent for Mr. Babcock's Mussel Course. Now send the mussels, please. Vince. 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 o-O-o Dear Mr. Hensel: Will you please tell me why ducks are so numerous? Peg. Because There Are So Many of Them, Margaret. o-O-o Dear Mr. Hensel: I sent for the wart remover you advertised last issue. I put a whole bottle on the wart on the back of my neck. The wart is gone. So is the back of my neck. Bob Fisher. I3O

Page 141 text:

CONFESSIONS OF A CUMNOCK GIRL iContinuedl berg roadster with his name painted on the back. But alas I-he too was but a beautiful dream. He fell in love with a blonde from Marlborough, and I got the well-known air. I became a hermit. I took to talk- ing to Verna-she psychoanalyzed me. I became deeper, subtler-a cobra-like creature. Soon I found Rourke IVIcQuigger making eyes at me. He was so thin, so delicate, so aesthetic. He told me of his love for nature, his collection of butterflies and beautiful flowers. I became his eager assistant. But it was too pla- tonic. I soon found to my dismay that it was not I that he loved, but his butterflies, so we came to the parting of our lives. I found that I was now sought after by all the eligible young men. But one would not look at me, and for him I set my cap. He was Tidd- lington Tingely, the handsome actor. Like McQuigger, he was absorbed in the drama, but his bulging biceps pro- claimed him a Creek Cod. I finally got him to take me to the wrestling matches. His fierce delight in these things warned me that he was a cave man in disguise, so I dropped him like a hot potato. About this time Mrs. Snuffy came around to find out why I hadn't been studying for the past seven months. I suddenly realized that I was there to do school work. In three days I had caught up on all my work and passed my midterms with straight A's. Then I began to notice that Hoad- ley MacSwinbaneton was looking at me and licking his lips. He is a beast, they warned me, but I was reckless. So then they wrote to ma- ma. Then papa came and took me home . . . It was so beautiful while it lasted. Ah, life-ah, youth! IVIALOUF 5' OLESON LICENSED EMBALMERS We call for 'em, drairi 'em, and plant 'emll' NOT MORTICIANS, IUST PLAIN OLD-FASHIONED UNDERTAKERS LONESOMEP? I CAN CET YOU HOT DATES ANY HOUR OF THE NICHTl-- Send for Free List HANK BARNARD DATE BUREAU ART PICTURES Get them while they last. Limited number only. Poses of Currmoclq girls. Snappy! .SORGE GESELLSCHAFT I29

Page 143 text:

IUST CALL ME lESSIE AN INTERVIEW WITH IORIA CLENKINS I stepped into the palacial mansion of the famous star of stage and screen, loria Glenkins, and nearly fell over a butler as I did so. I was tingling with excitement! At last I was to meet this exotic personality face to face-to learn from her the secrets that ma-ke her what she is today. I waded knee deep through the thick Persian carpets, treking my way gamely to the heart of her study. Or at least she called it that. How do you do, said a vibrant voice behind me, and I whirled to see her there, clad in a shimmering negligee-the great Glenkins herself. Tell me, I said, breathlessly, what makes you so exotic? an Sit down, she purred, gesturing me into a plush divan. I sitted. It is a long story. just call me lessie. It's so comfy. Ah, domestic? I queried. Yesssss! she hissed, tripping over her long tresses. Then tell me, Miss Glenkinsf' I whispered hoarsely, tell me-what do your friends call you? You, murmured Miss Glenkins demurely, you may call me lessieI I am transmognified! I shouted. This was almost too much for me. That this gorgeous creature, the divine Clenkins, should let me call her by that pet name was almost too much. I was ecstatic. I was nuts. Tell me . . . lessiel I tried, half afraid, tell me-do you endorse toothpaste or beauty cream? You sweet boy, she purred, of course not. When you indorse tooth- paste you get samples, so l'm working for Packard. I stumbled blindly out of the house, my interview clutched gamely in my trembling hands. So this was the great Glenkins-the Bernhardt of Idaho! l3l