Cumnock School - Chronicle Yearbook (Los Angeles, CA)

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CONFESSIONS OF A CUMNOCK GIRL iContinuedl berg roadster with his name painted on the back. But alas I-he too was but a beautiful dream. He fell in love with a blonde from Marlborough, and I got the well-known air. I became a hermit. I took to talk- ing to Verna-she psychoanalyzed me. I became deeper, subtler-a cobra-like creature. Soon I found Rourke IVIcQuigger making eyes at me. He was so thin, so delicate, so aesthetic. He told me of his love for nature, his collection of butterflies and beautiful flowers. I became his eager assistant. But it was too pla- tonic. I soon found to my dismay that it was not I that he loved, but his butterflies, so we came to the parting of our lives. I found that I was now sought after by all the eligible young men. But one would not look at me, and for him I set my cap. He was Tidd- lington Tingely, the handsome actor. Like McQuigger, he was absorbed in the drama, but his bulging biceps pro- claimed him a Creek Cod. I finally got him to take me to the wrestling matches. His fierce delight in these things warned me that he was a cave man in disguise, so I dropped him like a hot potato. About this time Mrs. Snuffy came around to find out why I hadn't been studying for the past seven months. I suddenly realized that I was there to do school work. In three days I had caught up on all my work and passed my midterms with straight A's. Then I began to notice that Hoad- ley MacSwinbaneton was looking at me and licking his lips. He is a beast, they warned me, but I was reckless. So then they wrote to ma- ma. Then papa came and took me home . . . It was so beautiful while it lasted. Ah, life-ah, youth! IVIALOUF 5' OLESON LICENSED EMBALMERS We call for 'em, drairi 'em, and plant 'emll' NOT MORTICIANS, IUST PLAIN OLD-FASHIONED UNDERTAKERS LONESOMEP? I CAN CET YOU HOT DATES ANY HOUR OF THE NICHTl-- Send for Free List HANK BARNARD DATE BUREAU ART PICTURES Get them while they last. Limited number only. Poses of Currmoclq girls. Snappy! .SORGE GESELLSCHAFT I29

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DEATH IN THE DORIVI lContinuedl with accompanying neurotic inhibi- tions, and, in attempting to sublimate her repressions, killed herself because of the subconscious influence of her libido. Sit down, Herbstl snarled lVlar- MOULD MIGHTY MUSSELS BE STRONG, BOYS! IACK BABCOCK CAN PUT 40 INCHES ON YOUR BICEPS IF YOU'LL C-IVE Hllvl A BREAK. FREE! ONE TRIPLE CHEST BUILD- ER TO ALL WHO ENROLL. Today IUST MAIL COUPON lack B. Room 42D, Schofield Institute Dear Coach: I wanna 46-inch chest expansion. Send dope to Name ....... School . . . Country .... IZ8 jorie. She made a leap for Verna, but tripped over Barbara's feet, and sprawled on the carpet. Stand up, Pope! chortled Verna. We finally tied them down. I say, interpolated ludith, can't you johnnies get on with this. l'm done in for fair. Where were you? snapped Maur- ice, his finger leveled at Barbara. She evaded the issue. Do you like beah? she queried. lt makes me buhpI Keep your relatives out of this, copper! screamed Cookie. Somebody call a policeman! Where were YOU, Texas? asked Maurice, after slugging Cookie. Ah was lunnin' mah private les- suns, suh I she purred. Ah think she musta died counta she had sich a powahful lot o' English to do. That ain't so, said Miss Hardi- son in her blunt manner. I think McKeel pumped her full of lead. lose stood in the doorway. The noise subsided. The corpse, announced jose, say please not to make so much noise. She want to sleep some more. 4: gl :Je They're kind to me here. I get lots of nice food. Once in a while when I get those spells, they put me in a padded cell, but otherwise l'm quite happy.

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WHAT OUR READERS SAY: Dear Mr. Hensel: I feel it incumbent upon me to call attention to the utter absurdity of your feature stories. It is quite obvious that they are untrue. L. H. Woody. Better Go Back to Byron, Mrs. W., Shucks, We Believe in Our Characters arid So Do Bob Elder and Clarence. o-O-o Editor: A I read one of your advertisements and sent for a steel engraving of George Washington for one dollar, and all I got was a stampf Your mag- azine is crooked. Marjorie Kennedy. Now, Marge, Dorft Be Too Hard On Us. Editors Must Live. o-O-o Dear Mr. Hensel: I think Quiddleton McDiIlpuddIer's stories are keen. My sister and I buy them all. Please have more stories like Purple Passion. Karen Okey. Sorry, Karen, 'Theres No More Purple Passion Left4jim Weaver Got the Last of It. o-O-o Dear Editor: I sent for Mr. Babcock's Mussel Course. Now send the mussels, please. Vince. 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 o-O-o Dear Mr. Hensel: Will you please tell me why ducks are so numerous? Peg. Because There Are So Many of Them, Margaret. o-O-o Dear Mr. Hensel: I sent for the wart remover you advertised last issue. I put a whole bottle on the wart on the back of my neck. The wart is gone. So is the back of my neck. Bob Fisher. I3O