Cumberland University - Phoenix Yearbook (Lebanon, TN)

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heartfelt sympathy. Extending one huge foot to the trembhng professor, he continued: The shade of every man who ever guided a pen across parch- ment is on the warpath for your scalp. They charge you one and all with knowing more about their works than they do themselves, and very justly maintain that this is a dangerous state of affairs. So you would do well to steer clear of the land of spirits. Best keep indoors after night, too. And then with a hungry and none too confident look he turned to Pro- fessor Waterhouse and spoke in his most majestic tone, Professor Water- house. Dynamite-and-sulphuric-acid! said the professor, with such emphasis that the great bird flew up against the ceiling with a terrific crash. But when he alighted he grabbed the over-confident prof, by his coat collar in a style that was conducive to speedy repentance. Now, Sir, I ' ve got you, and if you don ' t banquet this crowd better than ever you feasted a chem- istry class at examination, I ' ll — but suddenly he remembered that anger didn ' t exactly become a Justice and, in repentance, recalling all the labor of the defendant in the cause of education, his unstinted efi ' ort to advance his chosen science, and the many good things that he had done for his department, muttered, The sentence is revoked. Then was exhibited a still further proof of his real kindness of heart. In spite of his forbidding exterior and apparent harshness, he called Professors Kimbrough and A ' alker up together, and knowing full well that two such callow youths would be afraid to stand up alone, he said, I have charges against you ranging in seriousness from — Ah, well, the leading charge is loving the co-eds ; but knowing as I do that you are both proud sons of old Cumber- land, a most worthy mother, and not wishing to discourage you, I ' ll prove false to my charge. May the many succeeding years of your professorships ever increase the value and usefulness of your service for your alma mater. The last professor had been acquitted. Having thus rendered a somewhat unique series of decisions, with a majestic sweep of his broad wing, the noble judge, the Phoenix, bade the court farewell for another year, and, as he disap- peared behind the clouds sent back in his stridulent voice, now become fa- miUar, a promise to publish the fame of old Cumberland and her peerless body of instructors at a height never attained by man, where the angels dwell — till they decide to come to earth to figure as Co-eds in Cumberland University. We love them all, indeed we do. Professors kind and good and true: No land can boast so wise a band As that which guides Old Cumberland. 21