Crooksville High School - Crux Hi Skan Yearbook (Crooksville, OH)

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We Vrophesy------- Hello Mr. and Mrs. America and all the ships at sea. This is your friendly newscaster Waldo Winchester bringing you the news of the day... Being May 30, 1976........................But first a word from our sponsor the Richard Young Roach Extermination Company. Thank you, Waldo. This is your announcer Jerry Robbins advising all you home owners to get your Roach Extermination done by the Richard Young Company. The owner of this company got his start in life early and now has an old well-established business. Now back to Waldo for the latest world news. This is Waldo Winchester again. Listen, Mr. and Mrs. America, to the latest popular song by that fabulous song writer Nancy Schwartz. The song is called 'Crooksville Shoe Shine Boy'. Nancy put her heart into this song, and it is already number ninty-eighth on the hit parade....The Johnny Milligan Production Company just purchased the filming rights to I SHALL RETURN, the life story of the famous marine hero, four-star general D. E. Newlon. The film will probably star the matinee idol, Donny Poole, as General Newlon and five times academy award winner, Betty Holcomb, as the General's own true love. Thera is a rumor that the film will be directed by Larry Mauller. As you recall, Larry won an academy award last year for his direction of the film THE WOMAN WITH THE SILVER LEG......................The Four Deuces, a terrific singing combo made up of Grace Hayman, Roberta Klingler, Janet Eveland, and Donna Brown will open tonight at the Peppermint Grove. It is reported that the Deuces were signed for an unheard of thousand dollars a day...................'Sugar' Gee McKinney, heavy-weight champ of the world will defend his title in Chicago tonight against 'Rocky' Bob Stephenson. The oddsmakers are laying 8 to 5 'Rocky Bob will be the new champ. Also from the world of sports comes word that Ohio State University has signed a new coach. Rod Hughes has been named coach of OSU's successful women's ping pong team. He will succeed retiring coach Janet Pollock whose team last year won the Tulip Bowl in Pasadena, California,... ....A housing project has been started by the S. J. Zinn Realty Co. It will be known as 'South Zinnsville' and will be located just west of Rendville, Ohio. In charge of construction for this project will be America's greatest construction engineer, Shirley Ault....Buckaroo Fleming, rodeo bronco buster, was injured last night when he was thrown by his favorite mount, Tiny, a Shetland pony. I don't think Buckaroo was injured badly, for I saw him dinning in the Blue Room of the Cherry Netherland Hotel------standing up----At another table in the Blue Room I spotted that comedy team Burns Allen------Jeannette Burns and Linda Allen. The band at the Blue Room was C. E. Haley's Comets. ...I love to hear Haley's vocalist, Donna Whitehead sing, especially when she's backed up by the Comets, Barbara Redfem, Paul Jewett, Linda Heskett, and Bill Brant.... .....Just before leaving the Beautiful Blue Room we stopped in to say hello to the wealthy proprietor, Nicholas Grubb...., Now a word from our alternate sponsor—The Strate Jacket Company. Thank you, Waldo. This is your announcer, Jerry Robbins again. 1 want you to buy one of these crazy Strate Jackets, manufactured by the William Strate Jacket Company. These jackets are the craziest. Buy one today. A Strate Jacket. Now back to Waldo Winchester with more of the latest world news.

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 From across the ocean comes word that Blaine Wiseman, international playboy, has married the crown princess of Rushembourg. Wiseman has been married eight times previously to movie stars, American heiresses, and one foreign beauty, but this is his first marriage to a member of royalty.. .. The British government is giving a party tonight in honor of our first female Jet Ace, Barbara Lee, and her co-pilot Joe Baker who set a new record by flying around the world faster than the speed of sound----backwards. The French, German, Italian, and Swedish governments have already toasted Miss Lee, and now the British government is getting into the act.... Roberta Bennett, top flight brain surgeon, is vacationing on the French Riviera. Another Rivera visitor this season is America's greatest used car dealer, Barbara Mo rison, 'the smiling American' .....Nancy Riggs, the English Channel swimmer, is at it again----length-wise......Over in Switzerland they are still raving about the magnificent skiing feats of the former Crooksville native, Sonia Giles, not to be confused with that has-been ice skater, Sonja Henie... .Touring the continent this year is the concert painist Kay Hartley. Now that Liberace has retired, Miss Hartley is recognized as America's best piano player..The world is still anxiously awaiting word from Bob Watts who began a trans-atlantic trip in a row boat three weeks ago. When last heard from, Bob was fine and right on course. He left the port of New York City right behind the Queen Mary.... way behind.... Speaking of the Queen Mary, one of her passengers was the famed evangelist, Nina Fee. Nina has taken the place of old timer Billy Graham and begins all her sermons with the words, Take someone to Church next Sunday. You both will be happier. At the present Nina is on her way to darkest Africa where she will meet the Great White Hunter, Dr. Larry Cook. Dr. Cook's fine work with the savages of Africa is surpassed only by his marksmanship on the safaris he leads in his spare time.....In Paris, France the hair stylist, Mademoselle Gay-Lee Ship- Ley has shocked the world with her newest innovation in hair styles for stylish women. Her latest creation is called the BALD EAGLE and is copied from that great bird. It involves trimming all the hair off the woman's head and painting her head to match her costume.... And ladies, have you the most daring thing in perfumes to date. It is put out by Polly Dillehay, Inc., that fine perfume company that manufacturers such delicates scents as BLUE WALTZ. This daring new aroma has completely shook Paris, long known as the home of forbidden scents. It is copied from Miss Dillehay’s home town sewage system and is called CANAL NUMBER 6. This lates news item cannot be verified, but I have it on reliable report that the distinguished American atomic scientist, Prof. A. Gilbert Rodgers, PHD, MA, ABS, DD, and LSSA, is in Paris meeting with atomic scientists from other countries. It is alleged that Professor Rodgers is leading a discussion to determine whether splitting the atom was a wise crack. Goodbye, now, Mr. and Mrs. America and all the ships at sea (including Bob Watts in his rowboat if he is listening). Be sure to buy a Strate Jacket and contact the Young Roach Exterimators if you need help with your roaches. This is Waldo Winchester signing off and leaving you with this word for the day------------------------If you don't drive, walk. Polly Dillehay and Gayle Shipley.