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Page 77 text:
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A young man and young lady were strolling. The boy was from the Junior English Class. He desired to show the young lady his ample vocabulary. Seeing a negro fishing, he said: Rastus, art thou endeavoring to entice the finny tribe to engulf in its gorgeous mouth a barbed hook, upon whose summit is placed an enticing morsel? Rastus-No, sirg I'se iishin'. Say, Vic, said Mac, I'll bet the girls can do something you can't. What's that ? asked Vic. Stick hatpins in rats without makin' 'em squealf' Master-Did you enjoy your trip to the city, Pat? Coachman-Divil a bit, sorrg I'll nivir go near the city again 'til I've been there enough to learn me way 'round. A little girl tried to explain to her grandmother the efficacy of prayer. Last night I prayed for it to rain, so I wouldn't have to go to school, and it didf, Well, dear, answered her grandmother, can't you pray to-night for warmer weather to help poor grandrna's rheumatism ? That night she heard her granddaughter praying: Oh, Lord, please make it hot for grandmall' Pk Fl: PF Mein Gott! Mein Gott! Vot language dot! Ich can not English sprechen: Shust so sure as I vas right, My lands! I vas mistaken. vp if Qi: A-grade teacher, after having a medical examination in her room recently, wrote the following note to the parents of a cer- tain boy: Your little son, Charles, shows signs of astigmatism. NVi1l you please investigate and take steps to correct it F to which she received a note in reply saying: I don't understand exactly what Charles has been doing, but I have Wolloped him to-night and you can wollop him to-morrow, and that may help some. f 77 D
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Page 76 text:
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A first-grade boy brought home a perfect spelling paper each day for several weeks and then suddenly began to miss five or six words out of ten. How's this, my son P asked the father. Teachers fault, replied the boy. How teacher's fault P H Why, she moved the little boy that sat next to mc. Ik Dk Pk The rose is red and the violet's blue, And so is the man whose rent is due. bk Pk is He-You look sweet enough to eat. She Qcoldlyj-So I do, three times a day. if sf is Say, grandpa, make a noise like a frog, coaxed little Tommy. What for, my son ? Why, papa says that when you croak we'll get S5,ooo. Pk Pls Pls Little Oliver, six years old, had learned the song in which is oft repeated the refrain, Glory, glory, hallelujahj' and for some time he had been singing it with great enthusiasm and vigor. Finally he became silent, and after a brief period of cogitation he said: Mama, what does 'hallelujah' mean P As simply as she could his mother explained that it was a religious exclamation meaning praise the Lord. He seemed rather puzzled and surprised at this information, but his next question offered ample explanation of why he had thrown so much vigor in his singing. If that's what it means,', he said, why do they throw corn and have jack lanterns on hallelujah night P DK Dk 7k Look to the postage stamp for inspirationg its greatest rec- ommendation is its ability to stick to a thing till it gets there. Pk Plf ik Teacher-Mr. Browning, can you tell me anything about Burns? Pupil-VVell, they're very painful. C763
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Page 78 text:
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Teacher-Ralph, what is the finest wood? Bright Ralph-Sawdust. :F ak 4: Fair German Student-Ich bin sehr schon. Freshie-XN'onder where she bought it? Pk if ak Teacher-VVhat does A. D. mean? Pupil-After Death. sf is is Mama, said Harry, didn't the missionary say that the heathen don't Wear any clothes ?', K'Yes, dear. VVell, mama, then why did papa put a button in the con- tribution box ? is ff 24 A clergyman, in preparing a funeral discourse, thought it might be Well to learn the last words of the deceased, so he asked the little boy what his father's last words were. Last Words? Oh, he didu't have any. My mother was with him to the last, answered the boy. F 4 C783
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