Covington High School - Lest We Forget Yearbook (Covington, KY)

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lPortia takes a piece of the April-fool candy, after eating which she suddenly remembers that she has an engage- ment with Bassanio at the fountain. Exit.j Satan-Well, I see that I'll have to do the judging act myselfg but, say, we have failed to take one thing into consideration: How are we, shades, going to talk to a human being? Sug- gestions? Sherlock Holmes-Your Majesty, I have here, as you see, a little vial. This is filled with the latest product of my chemical research. Injected into the human arm, it will cause the soul to separate from the body for ten minutes. Sir lVa1te1' fasiclej-Well, I'll be Habbergasted. Holnzcs-The name of this chemical is Tetrahydroxide of Man- genpotass- Satan-You can give us the rest on the easy-payment plan, Sherlock. Get busy and put some of your vaseline in that fellow's arm. lSherlock goes to the sleeping Clarence, and injects some 'of the tetra, etc., in his arm. The shade of Clarence issues forthwith, when it is captured and brought before Satan.j Shade of Clarence frubbing its eye socketsl--W'h-wl1at's the- Satan-Don't waste your breath, young man, till you're spoken to. You have been brought before this court on the charge of- fTo courtj-Gee whiz! VVhat'll we charge him with? Gobbo Csotto vocej-Electricity. Holmvs.-Drunkenness.- Satan-Thanks. CTO Clarencej-On a charge of drunkenness and disorderly conduct. Guilty or not guilty? Clarmz-ce-XVell, I couldn't weally say: don't you- Satafz-Then don't try to. Do you drink? C1m'e1zice-W'eally- Satan-Do you smoke? C1arc'1zc0-NVeally. your- Satan-VVell, you'll be on fire after you've visited me for a while. CTO courtl-After due consideration, we find this man guilty. Are you satisfied with the verdict? All-Perfectly. Satan-All right, then. Next, suggestions are in order for his penalty. C Silencej Speak louder, please. I Continued silence.l O, speak up, somebody! Say something, Ham!

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O, you foul tyrant of poor womankind. Ye murderer of all our sex's rights. But enough. My soul doth tremble at the very thought ' of her. Though now I'm but a shade, quite soon I'll be a shadow. lEnter Diogenes to the tune of !'No Vtfedding Bells for Me. j Out on thee, villains. Is't not enough for thee That I must bear the burden of Xanthippe's ire Without reproaching that I took the fatal step? O Hermes, had I only now thy winged shoes! !Xanthippe enters softly and is unnoticedj I'd hide myself in air-but now there's only- Xcmthippe- Booze! Yes, of courseg what else could one expect? lEnter a page.l Page-VVhat, ho! VVay for His Majesty, the Devil, who comes to hold his royal court! Way! Way! ll-Inter His Royal Highness, with his train of illustrious shades.j Satan Ccomes to center of stagel-Ladies and gentlemen, all! Through the assistance of Sir Walter and Queen Bess, we have got possession of this human being. Now, as is the custom on our holidays, we will proceed to have some fun. We think that the best way to do so is to court martial him. Are you all agreed? All-Quite agreed, Your Majesty. Satcm-Very good. The next thing is, who will be the judge? Nominations are in order. Portia-Your Majesty, although I know that I am hardly worthy of so great- Gobbo-Then sit down and save your breath. Satan--Order, please. No, Portia, I'm afraid we can't have you. Down here, I admit, we have very little justice, and even that wouldn't pass the Pure Food inspection, but your justice is too much like the brand Leopold is exporting to the negroes in the Congo. Shylock-VVell, don't you worry, Portia. Take some of this candy. It's fine. I 46 D in

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Ham thopefullyl-You might give him some of dad's bad whisky. Noah-Your Honor, I object. It was only a sample bottle of Peruna. Sataaz-Cut it out, Noah. That joke's been retired and has been living on a pension for ten years. Next! Socrates Ctrembling, with one eye on Xanthippej-Your Honor, I suggest that you make this man live with-with Xanthippe for four months. BIackst01zcfI object, Your Honorg first, on the ground that the enormity of the punishment is altogether out of proportion to the crimeg and, secondly, because this victim remains in our power only one minute longer. So, Your Honor, I suggest that the punishment be this: That Mr. Clarence take all the male members of this honorable company to the nearest cafe, and treat the crowd. Satmz-Good ideal How does this plan strike the court? All the A1011 and Xantlzifvpe-Fine! Satan-All right, then. Court's dismissed. Forward, march! To the fount of the flowing amber, Clarence. lThey all crowd around Clarence. just as they are about to set out, the power of the tetra, etc.. is exhausted, and the shade of Clarence vanishes into his body. The shock of the collision is sufficient to awaken Clarencem Clzwcncc Know soberl-And what do you think of that? XVeally. the most wonderful dream I've evah had, don't you know. Me for Cumminsville and mother, to-morrow. lExit.l lCurtain.1 Am: S. BEHRMAN, '1o. 'S-dl E' as W .N .'i' ggi. .li 7 Ealilaiilirs r ff .vcr X .Lyla 0.54-L-I C481