Coquille High School - Laurel Yearbook (Coquille, OR)

Page 23 text:

k LMUSSIL Bennett and Lowell Simpson. They were very much surprised to think that we had never heard of the celebrated Prima Donna, Madame Scandala Voica, as Mary now called herself. At the present they informed us that she was touring South Africa, giving benefit concerts for the natives. We were astonished to hear of the renown which Viola Knife had won for herself. A dream convinced her that she must devote her life to the teaching of little children. As a result she completely revised that profession by teaching through the medium of mental telepathy instead of by word of mouth. This form of instruction is now the only kind allowed on the Island of Luzon where she now resides. Of course, we naturally expected to hear of Lowell’s great success in the art of surgery, but to our amazement, he had continued in his father’s footsteps and was now owner and manager of the largest Laundry in the U. S. And to add to his success, he had invented a new variety of “washing-powder,” for which he is now known the world over. At present, we learned that he was in Poland, securing a large contract with that government for his invention. To be sure we felt quite honored at being acquaintances of such noted personages. Having finished our dinner we returned to my apartments with a feeling of satisfaction, knowing that our afternoon had not been spent in vain. jA jA jA Now I set me down to cram I pray the professor an easy exam, If I should croak at the bitter end, I pray the folks may comprehend.

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LMJUmiL As it was late we made our adieu and started for the Ritz-Carlton. On our way there, a huge crowd blocked the street. In the midst of it we could see a woman standing on a box and holding the attention of the awe-stricken multitude. These words reached our ears: “Open shop or ruin! ! Down with the advocates of the closed shops! !” Just then a man back of us said: “That’s Alice Barker, the noted speaker. Doctors say she has lost her mind on the subject of open shop, that she has a peculiar disease, the only known case in the civilized world, called ‘Open-Shopitis.’ ” We had heard of Alice’s wonderful career as a speaker but never before of her sad affliction. We made our way to the hotel and upon entering the dining room the waiter seated us at a table next to a dinner party of four, presumably two men and their wives. The men, we noticed, were very distinguished and foreign looking gentlemen, while the women both wore Parisian crations. Suddenly we heard our names spoken and looking up we saw one of the women standing at our table. “Why, you don’t know me, do you?” she said. No sooner had she spoken than it dawned upon me that it was our friend, Eunice Perkins. She introduced us to her husband, the Earl of Garbage Manor, of the famous Dishwater Estate. And who could the other woman be but our former Dorothy Bean, now wife of noteworthy Count Noe Count, the other gentleman at the table. He had first met her in Riverton, while there on a royal commission of investigating cabbage output of that city. A case of love at first sight, I took it. It seems that Eunice met the Earl in Greenland’s icy mountains, where she was traveling for her health. We happened to mention that through fate or luck, we knew not which, we had either seen or heard of all of our old High School Classmates, except Viola Knife, Mary

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CLASS OFFICERS Gertrude Bogard, President Lorin Schroeder, Vice President Harriet Gould, Secretary-Treasurer « CLASS COLORS Red and White j j j CLASS FLOWER White Carnation j j jt MOTTO We gain strength as we go jt j CLASS ADVISER Miss Dorothy Whitney