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Page 32 text:
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“Papa, where do they make these ukes?” “Know your geography, my hoy?” “In Yukon, of course.” Traffic Cop — “What’s your name?” Truck Driver — “It’s on the side of me wagon.” Cop (trying to read name) — “It’s obliterated.” Driver — “Yer a liar. It’s O’Brien.” “Aw, go jump in a creek. You know what a creek is, don’t you?” “Sure. One of those guys what runs a restaurant.”
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Page 31 text:
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HOW GREAT MEN BEGAN Harding began as a country printer; Coolidge was a farmer’s boy; Hughes, a preacher’s son; Weeks, a farmer's son; Daugherty, a store clerk; Work, a farmer’s boy; Fall, a cowpuncher and miner; Wallace, a farmer’s hoy; Hoover, the son of a butcher; Davis, an iron puddler. That’s the executive end of the government. A CHILD OF BOSTON The little boy sat disconsolately on the curb and sobbed as though his heart was breaking. The kind old lady stopped and asked sweetly: “Is a itta boy cwyin’? Turn tella nice wady wassa matter.” “If you are inquiring as to the cause of my eachrymose condition,” he answered, looking up at her pittyinglv, “it is because I have been unable to find any suitable intelligent playmate whose eugenic constitutions are in harmony with my pathological tendencies and whose hereditary affiliations meet with the approval of my paternal relations since we moved to this place from Boston.” 8. E. A., ’26 — “Mother, 1 can’t go to school today.” Mother — “Why?” 8. E. A., ’26— “I don’t feel well.” Mother — “Where don’t you feel well?” S. E. A., ’26 — “In school.” R.J. W., '26 — “Glory, there an awful lot of girls stuck on me.” M. li., ’26 — “Yeah. They must be an awful lot.” “I am innocent, your honor. Heaven is my witness.” “I am sorry,” returned the judge, “but your witness is beyond the jurisdiction of the court. Five years.” 'The school teacher was explaining what to do in case of fire. The ■ pupils listened with respectful attention until he came to his final instruction. “Above all things,” he said, “if your clothing catches fire remain cool.”
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