Coolidge High School - President Yearbook (Coolidge, AZ)

Page 48 text:

.ru - n .. ,+. Stopping in gay Parse he found Mary Solen Holland model- ling hoop skirts for Francene Lovelace's Famous Female Future Fashions. Both bought policies without a struggle. Lady Florence Bradley, wife of the deceased Lord Uyster Bottom, bought a policy for her pet pup's platinum plate. Once again he soared over the water and landed in New York. He purchased cosmetics from Mary Appel who had boug out Helena Rubinstein. Dorothy Blalock took a lot of'credi for her new products as chief chemist in her laboratory. Th tired traveler took the evening off from his insure ance and went to the grand opera. He discovered Bennie Boone singing the leading part in The Barber gg Seville. Her heavy schedule included Carmen and Tristram and Isoldg, Later he met Betty June Clark who explained breathlessly that she had to catch a boat. Her uncle had left her a for- tune and she was now touring the world. Feeling ill, Mr. Lanier decided to stop at John Hopkins in Baltimore. The head nurse, Bonnie Robertson, sent him to Doctors Whitaker and Mirkin, who were packing. After losing their tenth consecutive patient, they had decided to dissolve their partnership and become Pull-fledged butchers in Don Pen's packing house. Don had bought all of his stock whole- sale from the Rodeo association, after Eddie Schell, cham- pion cowboy, had killed them with his wild rope. Going down to Georgia, he found the battling politicians Nadine McC1eery and Rosa Lee Horton---fighting it out, tooth and nail, for the governorship of the state. Nedra Ray, also in the vicinity, was a famous chemist and cook, cooking deli- cious spun rubber for the Sympathetic Rubber Company of Amer- ica. In St. Louis, Leonard WFistyN Fitzgerald, is now fin idol of America's skirt twirlers, having just won the world's kindergarten wrestling matches. Mr. Lanier could not catch up with Francis Kuyksndall and Clinton Nelson, They were riding the rods of only the best trains, publishing and distributing The Egpg Eggs. George Acton was found coaching at P. U. No insurance could be sold there. In Bed Springs, Texas, he found Lafon Buzbee. Sh was chief supervisor of the Texas branch of the American Tele- phone and Telegraph Association. Lafon told Mr. Lanier to look in the dry counties of Texas for Madge Dixon and Edna Veazey. Remotely exconced, they lore'-bootlegging cactus' juice.

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70,12 e ffJ.,x'..x' 1.0 While wandering the streets in the thriving metropolis of Coolidge, Arizona, a distinguished-looking gentlemen emer- ged from the newiy-constructed- skyscraper, .Lanierl s World Wide Worthless Insurance. He was none other than Mr. Lanier himself, Stepping into his atomobile, he dropped e little power pill in a slot and roared away. Mr. Lanier, with characteristic sgyggggfgigg, was bent on contacting the successful class of !47.' His interest was purely business and er, curiosity. Upon reaching the cut- skirts of the metropolis, he spied a little gray donkey led by Kenneth Tiffany. J Following him was Sherman Wright with a shovel over his shoulder. Informing Mr. Lanier that they had just invested their life's savings in these two possessions, they added, without further ado, that they were going to the famous Lost Dutchman Mine. If their venture proved fruit- ful, they would most assuredly buy some of his Worthless In- surance. Upon his arrival at the west coast, Mr. Lanier heard Harold CPepsodentl Kleinman had just taken over the Bob Hope show. Furthermore, he learned that Rosemary Davison had had her oscar insured which she won in the Rogg tg Elgggggg, co- starring with Jimmy Durante. La Davison informed him that Gloria Kenworthy was too busy for an interview, as she sang under water every day for the Reynold's Pen Company. Worth Bartlett was famous on the west coast as the yeas! Maggy He led Mr. Lanier to likeable prospects of life insurance,Cordyce Clonts and Montie McCutcham, public enemies No. 1 and 2 erespectively, who had at last resolved to quit stealing candy Pfrom innocent babies. Bai Johns, he found, had given up tennis to become the worldfs champion yo-yo-er. His latest record was 850 yo-yo's. He had insured his diamond-studded yo-yo for t5o,coo. 30' tween yo's he revealed the secret of John Dye 's Transcontin- ental Tunnel for tricyclers. ' e At the push ofea button, Mr. Lanier's automobile turn- ed into a atomoplane. He landed in Sidney5Auatralia,where he met Mrs. Skousen, nee Mary Jo Fates, who was in town shopping for the week-end. She sent him out to see Bobby Skousen and Oscar Montgomery, the biggest, kangaroo barons in the land from down under. They had invested in a double indemnity policy for each of their kangaroos. Gladys Mchlexander had transferred her service from the VaKi Inn and was managing the Rice Bowl, a famous restaurant in Hong Kong, China. With super aplomb, she served a bowl of half-grown rice to Mr. Lanier. ' -

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P ft e Homeward bound, he raced his atomohile toward Eloy. Here he chatted amiably with Mildred Merrill, E1oy's pros- perous architect. She was designing Jack Pretzer's fifty- room tent with a special garbage disposal. Jack had em!-seed a ffutune with his muscle-building machine, B - - Em. Returning to Coolidge, he stopped at the paper office where: he fsund Billie Van Orman editing Martha Ayer writing a daily, 1 o Yo end Ruby Mae Wilson scribbing ' a que ation-and-answer column. Mr. Lanier returned to his 'gpg-tggggggpgm after e not-too-unusual week-end. As he relaxed, he smilingly thought of his class of '47 and how they had all surpassed the heights of their respective abilities: