Conyngham Centralia Joint High School - Iris Yearbook (Aristes, PA)

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IRIS HJOKESH As soon as Mary Kostenbauder discovers what makes the Tower of Pisa lean, she'll take some herself. Pk BF ik :lf Thomas Maguire is such a wise cracker the Uneeda Biscuit Company has offered him a job. I as xc an ae It is Lewis Stivitts' opinion that when Longfellow wrote Tell me not in mornful numbers, he was riding in a taxi. ' if :lf vk Pl! joe Linetty knows a man who took out a fire insurance policy on his bride because she had a wooden leg. fl' 44 lk Pk We hear that Mr. McDonald, while painting the roof of his house, fell OH, and lit on his bay window. Sli Pk wk PF - 'My Rose , cried Lewis, as he pressed Grace's velvet cheek to his. My Cactus , she said as she encountered his stubbles. SK Pl! wk ,li ROSS KOSTENBAUDER'S REQUEST Friends, Romans, Countrymen, lend me your gears. wk FK Bk Dk Fennessy :- You don't mind if I turn down the gas, do you dear? I've been work- ing on a lot of figures all day and myeyes are so tired? DF Pk ik ik To those who talk and talk and talk, This proverb should appeal: The steam that blows the whistle Will never turn the wheel. ik Pk PF Pk Clyde says, Some folks are so dumb they think bacteria is the rear entrance to a cafeteria. wk FK elf Dk SO SAY'S JIM, My mother used cold cream, My father used latherg My sweetheart used talcum, At least that's what I gather. , ar 4: ik sf Clarence :- I'm from Missouri, you'll have to show me. Sadie :- I'm from Elgin, watch me. PF wk Pk Fl! Ruth was almost drowned the other night when the pillow slipped, the .bed spread, and she fell in the spring. ik PF if ill Susie :- How did you lose your teeth, Herbert? Herb 1- Shifting gears on a lolly-pop. ak Pk lk Dk CHIVALRY IS NOT DEAD! Mrs. R. Kostenbauder:- jim, get up. There's a burglar downstairs. Mr. Kostenbauder 1- You go, dear-he'll think twice before he hits a woman. ,Q 31

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IRIS HERE'S A FOWL ONE, BOYS Waiter:- Chicken? Ruth Widdis:- Yes. Waiter :- Neck? Ruth :- Yes, if it's dark and he's the right kind of a boy. He :- Say, Myrtle, that's a fine coat of tan you have for this time of year. She :- It ought to be. I've done everything under the sun to get it. if ik Sk if HE WASN'T DOUBLE JOINTED Usher:-'Please sit down in front. Miles :-HI can't, I'm not built that way. Pk wk Pk 44 Harry :- My watch has gone wrong. Helen :- The result of environment. ik ik Dk if Lewis:- At my age I'm resigned. Take what you can get. Emily :- Something with life. bk Pk ik fl: Ruth and Grace , 'llke and Mike they think alike. PK Pk PK Pk NATURE STUDIES Fred Miller :- Why doesn't the pretty kitty climb the tree? Clyde Neiswinter:- It can't, it's a pole cat. Pk PK Pk Pk YY Ross :- Why are you scratching yourself, Lamar? Lamar :- Because I'm the only one who knows where I itch. FK Pk Pk Pk It is absolutely a mark of ill breeding for a Freshman to address a Senior before first rinsing the mouth with lysol, listerine, carbolic acid, or what have you? :lf PF if Fl: What is the correct rate of speed at which a Freshman's teeth should chatter upon receipt of a summons from Mr. Kostenbauder's office? Pk H4 FF PK Ross z- The whole town's goin' to blazes. ' Mr. McDonald :- How come? Ross :- Fire down the street. :F if Pk Pk Lewis:-- O, all right. Have it your own way. Grace 2- Yes, dear, for your sake. Pk vp ff 4- PRESSING THOUGHT Mr. Miles:- You should think of the future. Lewis :- I can't. It's my girl's birthday and I have to think of the present. Bk Dk ak FIC Herbert llafter forty minutes' conversationll:- Hello, Central! Can't I get a better line? Central lfwho has heard most of itll:- What's the matter with the one you have? :lf il' ik Pk Myrtle Klischer:-f'I'd like to get some typewriting supplies. Floorwalker:-- Yes Madam. Cosmetic, candy and perfume department, second aisle to the left. Dk Pk Sli bk Grace Widdis :-'lOur lawn mower from the Smiths, and our snow shovel from the Joneses, and our baby carriage from the Bumps. A 32

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IRIS Edward Owens Charles Keller Maud Beaver Violet Rupert Mary A. Stellfox lIMrs. Geo. Beaverll Notices for plans for the banquet were forwarded to all graduates on March 21, 1927. june 4, 1927 marked a Red Letter Day in the history of the Conyngham Town- ship Alumni Association. Neal Connaghan's Orthophonic Orchestra furnished music for the evening, and a delightful time was had by all. After a delicous live course dinner, a business session was conducted. The following new officers were nominated and elected for the year '27 - '28. President-Edward Owens Secretary-Maud Beaver Treasurer-Nell Weller lIMrs. Don Rayll Miss Mercy E. Gotshall was named and accepted as an honorary member of the association. The annual banquet is to be held the first Saturday in june of each year. C. T. H. S. has at present one hundred and seventeen graduates but only forty- six have joined the C. T. H. S. Alumni Association. The class of 1928 boasts of having one hundred per cent membership. i Three Cheers For 1928 Let us boost our Alma Mater.