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Page 113 text:
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A Few From Our Glossary Area, n., a training ground for long distance runners. Bullets, n., i. Missies. 2. Baked beans served in Dining Hall. Check-book, n.. An itemized graft account. Dogs, n., Dead canines served in Mack’s room at 10 p. m.. frankfurters. Fire-escape, n., A side-exit for daring Conwayans. Football, n., A game in which a few win fame and many win toast. Fried-egg, n., The gilded device on a dress-hat. Grass, n.. Herbage which grows profusely elsewhere, but is short-lived around Conway. Ketchup, n., A mucilaginous mixture served in Dining Hall; once used to paint Noah’s ark. Policeman, n., A dark shadow which keeps the sidewalk in front of station clear. Spoon, v.. To affect the society of our co-eds. Spoonoid, n., An adept at spooning. Stunts, n.. Gymnastics in building after ringing of last bell. Tank, n., A human receptacle for wet goods. Water, n., A delightful cooler for hot freshmen. Wit, n.. A dangerous weapon when properly used. 107
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Page 112 text:
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Quantitative Analysis The composition of the Logbook has been carefully an- alyzed by Dr. Kline, our eminent Professor in Physics in order to find out the quantity of the different elements present. The following results were reached after much labor. EDITORIAL DEPARTMENT. 47 per cent. — Library News. 33 per cent. — Hot Air. 13 per cent. — Typographical Errors. 7 per cent. — Real News (this was separated with much difficulty.) BUSINESS DEPARTMENT. 40 per cent. — Unpaid Subscriptions. 52 per cent. — Trade Advertisements. 8 per cent. — Cash Advertisements. Weight a Minute I don ' t see how it is that you fellows get so mixed up about pounds weight and pounds mass. It is very simple. Just remember that a pound mass is a weight that weighs a pound while a pound weight is a mass that weighs the same amount on a pair of scales as a pound mass does. And a mass of a pound is the weight that a pound of any material would have if it weighed the same as a pound mass. Prof. Kl ' ne in Physics. The First Butcher. Beckett — Ottey. who was the first butcher? Ottey — I don ' t know. Who? Beckett — Noah, he took Ham aboard the Ark with him. The Antecedent. Professor — Mr. Deardorf, “What is the antecedent of a relative pronoun? Mr. Deardorf — “That which goes before.” Professor — (reading a sentence containing “wagon”). “What is the antecedent of wagon?” Mr. Deardorf — (absentmindedly) — “The horse.” Kurtz (In Geometry). The area of a circle is equal to the product of its base by its radius. 106
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