Conway Hall Preparatory School - Log Yearbook (Carlisle, PA)

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Quantitative Analysis The composition of the Logbook has been carefully an- alyzed by Dr. Kline, our eminent Professor in Physics in order to find out the quantity of the different elements present. The following results were reached after much labor. EDITORIAL DEPARTMENT. 47 per cent. — Library News. 33 per cent. — Hot Air. 13 per cent. — Typographical Errors. 7 per cent. — Real News (this was separated with much difficulty.) BUSINESS DEPARTMENT. 40 per cent. — Unpaid Subscriptions. 52 per cent. — Trade Advertisements. 8 per cent. — Cash Advertisements. Weight a Minute I don ' t see how it is that you fellows get so mixed up about pounds weight and pounds mass. It is very simple. Just remember that a pound mass is a weight that weighs a pound while a pound weight is a mass that weighs the same amount on a pair of scales as a pound mass does. And a mass of a pound is the weight that a pound of any material would have if it weighed the same as a pound mass. Prof. Kl ' ne in Physics. The First Butcher. Beckett — Ottey. who was the first butcher? Ottey — I don ' t know. Who? Beckett — Noah, he took Ham aboard the Ark with him. The Antecedent. Professor — Mr. Deardorf, “What is the antecedent of a relative pronoun? Mr. Deardorf — “That which goes before.” Professor — (reading a sentence containing “wagon”). “What is the antecedent of wagon?” Mr. Deardorf — (absentmindedly) — “The horse.” Kurtz (In Geometry). The area of a circle is equal to the product of its base by its radius. 106

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Peter Sinclair (feelingly). — “Angelina, dear, there is a little subject I have long wished to mention: Could you — could you make up your mind to leave civilization behind and take up with the hard life of a Tippsland selector?’’ (A pause.) “I am waiting, Ange.’’ Angelina. — “Oh, dear! Peter, this is really too sudden, but I — I think I could, Peter.” Peter. — “Oh, that’s such a relief; my friend, old Charlie Smith, is going down that way. and I ' ll mention your case to him.’’ Said B. Still who was gushy and coy, Dcn ' t you dare kiss me, Hosie, bad boy. Don’t you do it — it’s bad; 1 shall holler for dad.” What she did was to holler for joy. Mr. Holland, well dressed, had been following a lady through many streets. F ' nally she could not stand it any longer, and with fire flashing from her eyes she turned upon him, and in an indignant voice said, “Sir, you have been walking by my side for the last ten streets. Your conduct is outrageous. You had not once the decency to offer me your arm or ask me where I am going. You are no gentleman.” Bashful Thomas. — “Ahem — Sally — Sally (encouragingly). — “Well, Tom?” Bashful Thomas. — “Sally, do you ’spose your ma would be willin’ to be my mother-in-law?” Says Reuben Knott unto his fair, In language burning hot, “Matilda, do you love me, dear?” Say she, “I love you, Knott.” “Oh, say not so!” again he cried, “Oh, share with me your lot! Oh, say that vou will be my bride! Says she, “I’ll wed you. Knott.” A light breaks on Reuben’s mind, And in his arms she’s got, She looks demurely in his face And says, “Pray kiss me, Knott.” Beckett (who has been hanging fire all winter). — “Are you fond of puppies. Miss Smith?” She (promptly). — “What a singular way of proposing, Edgaris! Yes, darling!” And now the cards are out.

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A Few From Our Glossary Area, n., a training ground for long distance runners. Bullets, n., i. Missies. 2. Baked beans served in Dining Hall. Check-book, n.. An itemized graft account. Dogs, n., Dead canines served in Mack’s room at 10 p. m.. frankfurters. Fire-escape, n., A side-exit for daring Conwayans. Football, n., A game in which a few win fame and many win toast. Fried-egg, n., The gilded device on a dress-hat. Grass, n.. Herbage which grows profusely elsewhere, but is short-lived around Conway. Ketchup, n., A mucilaginous mixture served in Dining Hall; once used to paint Noah’s ark. Policeman, n., A dark shadow which keeps the sidewalk in front of station clear. Spoon, v.. To affect the society of our co-eds. Spoonoid, n., An adept at spooning. Stunts, n.. Gymnastics in building after ringing of last bell. Tank, n., A human receptacle for wet goods. Water, n., A delightful cooler for hot freshmen. Wit, n.. A dangerous weapon when properly used. 107