Continental Palmer High School - Pirate Yearbook (Continental, OH)

Page 28 text:

PIlOPHl-OY Although it has never been publicly announced, it is generally known that I possess the remarkable power of projecting myself forward through the years into any given time in which I am interested. Tonight, being restless and weary with the cares of the day, I longed for a change of scene and time. So closing my eyes and relaxing, I wished myself into the public library of this town, thirty years from now. I found myself in the reference room of a magnificent new building. As I glanced at the shelves, my eye was attracted by a thin red leather volume. Taking it down, I saw the title was Who’s Who and Why in Continental.” Eagerly I turned the pages and read the preface. When I saw how interesting it was I fled back into the Now, bringing the book with me. As I must hurry into the future again, in an hour, before the book is missed, I shall read it aloud to you. I am certain you will be interested. “Who’s Who and Why in Continental, dedicated to the class of 1959. LaDonna Spitnale was chosen “Mother of the Year.” She and John Turner are the proud parents of five little red headed boys. The “Happy Dribblers” under the coaching of Bob Taylor took state. He could never have done it without the loyal cheering of his wife, Karen Minch. The Ringling Brothers Circus has chosen three persons from this district. They are Arthur Prowant as the tall man, Douglas Miley as the fat man, and Angela Barnhart as the trapeeze artist. Charles Parrett, owner of “The Great Parrett Mink Farm,” has developed strength to the point of where he can now lift six minks at one time. Larry Schafer and Tom Place have taken over the Marriott Chevrolet Sales. Their trade-in values are marvelous. Pete Kakis, Gaylen Wing, and Mike Shalters have taken over Oakwood with their fabulous resort. The special feature in their show is their famous “Whistlers Bellie Dance.” Among those working at their resort is Suellen Shafer, the former “Miss America”. She is now at the difficult task of teaching a veterinarian, Dr. Bill Homan, a psychologist, Dr. Roger Lee, and Secretary of Agriculture, Prof. Robert Kirkendall how to water ski. Sergeant Pat Johnston and the “Wollie Wild” Dan Curl have returned from the first successful flight to the moon. They never could have made it without the help of Prof. Dick Wagners' souped-up hot rod motor. Beverly Price has taken over the Arthur Murray Dance Party. Two former classmates, Barbara Wilser and Marjorie Moore, were her opening guest stars. Last September at Madison Square Garden the “Women’s Championship of the World” was at stake between “Slippery Fingers” Kay McClish, and “High Pockets” Ruth Ann Marriott.

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We, the Seniors in Band, will: Mary Jane Johnston to Mr. Nihiser in hopes she will not drive him to destruction. I, Margaret Bidlack, will: my quiet ways to Ida Mae Wagner, Joan Rayle, and Mary Busch. I, Gene Deitrick, will: my ability to run laps to Mike Walls who doesn’t do it much better than I. We, the Seniors, will: Fritz to the Junior class and may they rest in peace. I, Jim Knoll, will my cute dimples to Danny Michaelson so I won’t have them anymore. I, Sandy Bradford, will: my title as “teachers pet” to LaDonna Morgan. I, Larry Loudon, will: my technique in playing baseball to Craig Combs. We, Karen Minch and Ruthie Marriott, will: our ability as cheerleaders to Connie Ries and Olita Kakis, in hopes they can continue on without us. I, Dick Wagner, will: my ability to jump hurdles to Charles Sharp. We, Charles Parrett, Arthur Prowant, Gaylen Wing, and Pete Kakis, will: our famous belly dance to Joe Moore, Virgil Williams, Arnold Ruhe, and Darwin Zeigler, just to prove that the Seniors can out-wiggle the Juniors. I, Barbara Wilser, leave my True Stories to Marilyn Brinkman, who wouldn’t think of reading them. We, Dick Wagner, Pete Kakis, John Turner, and Mike Shalter will: our Chevy convertibles to Dave Bradford. I, Joyce Sullivan, will: my speedy typing ability to Janna Bracken and Carolyn Dearth, in hopes they can do it with less errors than I. I, Bob Kirkendall, will: my crutches to Carl Wagner and Olita Kakis, who needed them after their motorcycle wreck. I, Kay McClish, will: my shyness to Jean Halbgewoks. I, John Turner, will: my speedy ways to Lynn Kirkendall, alias, “Stinky”. We, Beverly Price, Phyllis Johnson, Joyce Sullivan, and Sandy Bradford will our ability to get a diamond to Marjorie Brinkman, who looks like she has enough ability herself. I, Arthur Prowant, will: my ability to blush at the wrong things in the wrong places to Roily Bibler. I, Karen Minch, will my never failing lateness to Sandra Schrofe. I, Bill Homan, will: my giggle to Donna Elson, who has the ability to laugh any time in any place. I, Marjorie Moore, will: my red hair to Ruth Ann Smith, but hope she doesn’t have the temper to go with it. I, Paul Ford, will my mustache to Kenny Wagner and hope he has better luck with it than I did. I, Pat Johnston, will: my courage to take Physics and Chemistry to any girl who loves all male classes the way I do. We, Larrry Schafer, Bob Taylor, and John Turner, will: our love for Senior Girls to Bob Johnston. I, Ernestine Wickizer will my sewing ability to Doris Seimet, who doesn’t need anymore ability. We, the Senior girls, will: our ability to keep the Senior boys all to ourselves, to the Junior girls and anyone else who might be smart enough to learn our tricks. I, Daphna Okuley, will: all my headaches as Senior advisor to John Fritz. We, Janice Hersh and Ruth Ann Marriott, happily leave the writing of the next “Will” to anyone who’s dumb enough to do it. The Class of “59” solemnly swear that the above was written while we were under no pressure applied by teachers, mental stress from studying, in deep thought of ways to skip school, or other disturbances and while we were in the best of school spirits.

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Ernestine Wickizer won the “Safety Award Pin” for twenty years of safe driving for the Greyhound Bus Company. Gene Deitrick is now the manager of the County Home. It is fabulous how the population has increased. Women are doing everything possible to be admitted to the home. Troy Grant, a famous lawyer is steadily progressing in the political world from the teachings of his Government course. He is now handling Jeanetta William’s divorce case against her latest husband. News Commentator, Charles Bibler relieved James Knoll, the 48th President of the United States, of his duties, after being arrested by Larry Louden, Chief of Police of Capitol City. His arresting resulted from crashing into the world-known “Ford’s Drive-In-Theater,” operated by Paul Ford. The Bobbie Brooks Modeling School, under the management of Sandra Bradfore, has opened, with Joyce Sullivan, Sharon Forney, and Janice Hersh as head models. Katherine Wagner, head nurse at Rice Community Hospital, was informed by her Emergency Ward Admittance Director, Phyllis Johnson several weeks ago, that two former classmates, Margaret Bidlack, and Lottie Hanefield were admitted to the hospital after their submarine crashed into the Moon Pole, located somewhere between Hartsburg and Rice. Before returning this “Who’s Who and Why” to its place on the library shelf of the future, may I congratulate the class of 1959 on the brilliant success each of its members is about to achieve. This is all, and all is in fun. Until then,