Conneaut High School - Tattler Yearbook (Conneaut, OH)

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Senior Class Prophecy It is 1959. A decade has elapsed since Conneaut's forty-niners had abandoned education of secondary significance, in pursuit of interests of primary importance. Being a victim of an unsatiated wanderlust, I, SONNY CARLE, planned a quick trip to the west coast in search of my bosom pals who had made my life, during those glorious days at C.H.S., such an exciting adventure. The rocket plane I had boarded was the one perfected by DAVE MILLER (the Dave Miller of those well-known flighty ideas). DICK BRUCE was to be the pilot, but unfortunately he had lost his license for excessive speeding. Consequently, ELMER KITINOJA was employed, chiefly because he always seems to know where to go and what to do. Shortly after my arrival in California, I made a tour of the PATTERSON-PECK Circus grounds, owned by the millionaires who had previously accumulated a fortune in their Slick Slacks enterprise. As I meandered about, I noticed a snake charmer plying her charms. It was KARINA MAENPAA! I observed, too, that JANE MORAN and PEGGY HARLACHER were managing the flea cages. RITA MUCHIARONE was there, scarcely recognizable as the Lady on the Flying Trapeze. Accompanying her as personal nurse was BARBARA TUURI. I suddenly heard melodious strains. BARBARA ENGLISH, the native dancer, was very exciting in her costume. (Nothing as was worn by her, back in '49.) LAVERNE WOODWORTH was there selling horse steaks to feed the lions being trained by DELORES JERAULD. (Doesn’t that sound like a roaring profession?) I perceived that GERALDINE MULLEN and NANCY BLEVINS had drifted into the balloon selling business, which appeared to be an expanding trade, too. You’d never believe GERALDINE JULIO would like the role of the tattooed lady, but there she was, looking quite picturesque in her array of colors. Next door to this booth was JOYCE LA-MONT, prattling fortunes in her authentic Spanish. One could scarcely hear her for the boisterous barking of JOHN WADLEY and assistant VIRGINIA BRUNDAGE, both of whom were engaged in selling tickets for the Big Top. As I left the Circus grounds, I was suddenly at- tracted to the peculiar behavior of my little portable. The singing commercial specialist, MARK ADAMS, appeared to be rudely interrupted by some bombastic news flashes. JAMES COOL's escape from the Kingsville Cooler had been quickly detected and his amazing recapture attributed to a most remarkable physical feat performed by Physical Education teacher, JAMES HIETIKKO, who was employed at LASKO's Exclusive School for Girls. Incidentally, PHIL CASTRILLA holds the honorable position of school janitor. All this information I obtained somewhat later upon inquiry into the functioning of this school; and I made other interesting discoveries. This school has but four pupils: JUDY WEAVER and MARY LOU WALTZ, who are still enthusiastic about choir rehearsals; and MARTHA DOUGLAS and PAT • WISE, who are financing their way by working at Rosie's Regulating Ranch and Herman's Hair Haven, owned by ROSE PRIESEL and PHYLLIS HAGUE, respectively. On my way to Hollywood I learned that two of our old friends had attained literary fame; namely, JOHN MILLER, for his dictionary and encyclopedia on the King's English; and LARRY SLODODNJAK, for his newest thriller, The Ohio Deerslayer. In Hollywood, I unearthed Wee WILLIAM PINKERTON, who was almost buried beneath a debris of studio equipment. His newest production was starring NANCY SMITH and that new rave with teen-agers, GARY BUMPHREY BOGART. DONALD RAWLINGS was an extra who was without much extra” in the matters of financial circumstances; so not surprisingly, he was wielding the hand-organ with an organ-grinder’s skill. Guess who was collecting the coin? PAT SOARES! (Enough said!) The latest in popularity and fame among California's night clubs were Sally's Solid Senders with SALLY BIDWELL thumping the big bass fiddle, DOROTHY CONDOR hovering over the drums, MARGARET FERRIO chewing on her licorice stick (that's her pet name for her clarinet), and GLORIA MATE rendering the charming vocals. Another popular feature of these nocturnal notorieties was the devastating duo consisting of Baritone DUANE BARRINGER and Irish Tenor ERNIE WAID. These artists were appearing under the sponsorship of night-club magnate OMER LAUGHLIN, whose fame is more 24

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History well; in fact, we practically overdid it, as you will recall. With this accomplished and cast aside, the actors were off to a running start on their last year of studies, exams, report cards, fun, friendships, and numerous non-enumerated, but well-remembered, eventful incidents of the year. All this was accomplished under the guidance of Edward Lasko, president; Richard Voelker, vice-president; Patricia Wise, secretary; and Martha Douglas, treasurer. In football we lost not only one game, but also all but two. However, we did much better in basketball. Maybe we, the class, of '49, were not the athletic type, but studious instead. Nevertheless, you could perceive at a glance that there was no lack of enthusiasm, especially on such occasions as the fabulous Chestnut Hunt, held at North Girard Community Park, on October 7th. “I want more meat.” Where's the salad? Who's leading in the baseball game? Did someone say, 'Chestnuts'? These and other remarks filled the air amid discoveries of good food, female football and basketball stars, mountain climbers, and unsuccessful chestnut hunters. This was the day instituted solely for seniors; the day when everyone came prepared for an exciting time and then returned home, sober, weary, and minus the burred treasurer. Let us pause to recall other vitally important scenes from act three. Do you remember Homecoming with Rose Preisel as Queen; the band concerts, still under the direction of Kaarlo Mackey; the Christmas Choir Concert, which added a festive touch to Con-neaut's yuletide spirit; the Spanish Christmas program, in which we spoke such atrocious English; our Student Council meetings; the Senior Girls' Banquet, which proved that a female flock could be a jocund group despite the absence of males; the Senior Play, in which our normally suppressed “Hollywood technique was manifested for the sake of acting a part (speaking of acting, our class certainly has some actors whom we ought to be seeing in pictures before the end of the twentieth century); the Junior-Senior Prom, a colorful evening, just brimfull of fun and frolic; the Class Day in which speakers Richard Voelker, Harold Carle, John Miller, and Jean Mathews participated? Yes, the Senior Year was all a pleasant jumble of numerous, swift-moving episodes. Then with exams at an end and a faded report card clutched in one hand and a gleaming diploma in the other, we made our exit from the stage, almost tearfully, amidst the nostalgic notes of O Hail, Alma Mater gloriously ringing in our ears. The curtain closed on the drama Con-neaut Senior High School Days,” the scenes of which were to remain as beautiful memories of a glorious past. 23

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widely attributed to his earlier inheritance of the Jones-Laughlin Steel Corporation of Pittsburgh. While on my journey home, I stopped to visit JAMES SHIRKMAN, the owner of Sioux City’s most fashionable Bachelors’ Club. Incidentally, this town has become rather famous since the establishment of CHARLES CAMPBELL’S Camping Grounds. I was almost persuaded to remain indefinitely, but was recalled home by the Mrs. who reminded me of my marital status and place of residence. Almost reluctantly I returned home, only to learn of the many exciting innovations introduced into the otherwise normal living of hometown friends. It seems that PHIL CURTISS (the boy who had always liked pretty teachers) had received a new set of socket wrenches for Christmas and had seen fit to declare himself equipped for the jewelry business. Of news to me, was the revelation that BARBARA BROWN was now teaching fourth grade physics, and that ROBERT KAUFFIELD had returned for a refresher course in science; namely, physics. (Very strange coincidence, I must say.) BEATRICE ROOD has been taking vocal lessons from teacher JEAN MATHEWS for almost ten years, but still hasn’t found a way of breaking the monotony of the morning sessions in the school library. The Bobbsey Twins, MARIJO DUNNINGTON and RICHARD VOELKER (with the expressive eyes which fascinated our Lit. teacher), have decided to call Room 20 their permanent home, although allowed to occupy but one seat. MENDAL PAGE, who just couldn’t bear the thought of leaving the atmosphere of Government class, has been repeating the course ever since. WILLIAM STALEY has surprised the world with his discovery of a most potent pill by which one could master English grammar with only a gulp and a snooze. JOYCE CROMBIE and RICHARD OAKES have become well-to-do through their joint steam-bath and tree-surgery outfits; while HAROLD LADNER has suffered financial reverses in his Zooming Zephyr manufacturing concern. He attributes this to an excess of college sciences which have confused him in his scientific planning. JOYCE KAMPPI and EVELYN KENT have hired the town’s most eminent architect, FLORENCE RUSSO, to design an extra room for the exclusive use of Home Economics girls who have beaten a path to Junior High. MARGIE DAGGETT has erected a profitable Snack Bar which serves school lunches. (She sho’ can make dem griddle cakes and sho’tnin' bread as ah’s nebber tasted ’em befo'.) JOHN VENDETTI has gained fame by the Vendetti lovelies gracing the calendars distributed by the RUTH COX Calendar Company. DONALD ANTHONY is doing very well with his Angling Arcade. DICK SHARP has been married six times, divorced thrice; that’s all, however, that is known of his present circumstances. ROLAND VON OSINSKI has experienced vagabond days in United States; so he has now joined the Foreign Legion. MARY TAYLOR manages a chain of music stores and has employed FRED WAGNER as head Sales Manager. DALE WEBB has prospered in his used-cars business. His collections include models ranging from 1928 to 1934. CARROL ARMSTRONG is the test pilot for these vehicles, and he can really put them through the acid test. RUTH MATSON has become the nation’s top physical and chemical technician. Only recently she discovered a simple method of cooking water without evaporating the HO elements. A commendable volume entitled The Latest Trends in Winning Friends and Influencing People has been civilization’s heritage from the illustrious pen of LOIS KRAUS. The Know-lt-AII-Tribune, of which FRAN-NIE HOLDEN is the chief editor, has decided to publish this great work in twenty installments. Also appearing in the Tribune is the never-forsaken Advice to the lovelorn column written by ROBERT BYRON, the undisputed authority in this universal field of human experiences. Of especial interest today is the fact that the world has beaten a path to the door of KATHLEEN GRAY—ever since she invented the flawless mouse-catcher, guaranteed to captivate mice of all colors, races, and creeds. HELEN HAMMOND has become well-known as a composer of popular ditties, the latest being Faraway Gazes. We presume half the reason for the popularity of her songs is the charming interpretation rendered by chirping HELEN GOLASZEWSKI. VIVIAN GUSTAFERRO has started a new theater in town. The opening night was acclaimed a tremendous success; the film SUPER SAM became entangled in the projector, and before being rescued, it was shown continuously for six hours. It was certainly super! It is still 1959, and I have succeeded in rounding up the gang of unrivaled prestige and fame and vocational success. As all good things must eventually come to an end, even so must I bring an end to this epic of prophetical dreaming. Perhaps all my classmates may not meet with such highly desirable destinations; but let us hope their achievements in life may not fall too short of admirable accomplishments. 25