Conneaut High School - Tattler Yearbook (Conneaut, OH)

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THE SENIOR TATTLER CLASS WILL We, the Senior class of 1926, being sound in mind, and of extreme mental capacity, do hereby make, publish, and broadcast this, our last will and testament, hoping with a sincere desire that, with the aid of these bequests, our heirs will be able satisfactorily to take our places in the corridors of C. H. S. First, to the Juniors, our nearest kin, we leave our dignity and modesty, winch is a great asset in making people think that you know something. To the Sophomores we leave all of our toys hoping that they will be allowed to use them until they too shall cast off childish things. To the faculty we leave the knowledge gained in dealing with our members, also, a period of peace and rest, until the coming Seniors take up our good work. Following are the personal bequests: 1, Lois Cossitt, bequeath to Kenneth Watson my position as Valedictorian. I, Dorothy Wheeler, bequeath my position as Salutatorian to “Dick” McGuire. I, Elvi Kahkonen bequeath my high marks to Dick so he can be sure of getting the affnre mentioned position. I, Charles Maxon, bequeath my Saxaphone to “Luke” York. I, Edythe Rubenstein, leave my quietness to Cecil Johnson. 1. Lois Abbott, bequeath my new set of teeth to Earl Taylor. I, Genevieve Anthony, bequeath my good marks in Mr. Schaaf’s class to anyone who can get them as easy as I do. I. Dorothy Clark, bequeath my bashfulness to Lillian Jones, if she should ever need it. To Laura Myers, I, Mary Dingman, bequeath my appetite for unusual dishes. I, Pauline Esterhay, freely give my long dresses to Dean Percy. To Martha Huston, I, Arleen Beach, give my leather volume on “How to Reduce.” I, John Wellman, bequeath my old pair of shoes to Roland Marcy, hoping that some day he will be able to completely fill them. To the coming Senior President, I, Arvine McElroy leave my executive ability. I. Anna Masick, leave my sorrel top to Dorothy Cook. To Miles Dorman, I, Athena Treas, leave my ability to accomplish what I set out to Jo. I, Frances Grace, bequeath to Russell Mulaney my new sled, hoping he will not wear out his welcome at the (Hill). I. Merle Reets, bequeath to Alice Stewart my home course of studies on “Why be Bashful.” We, Charlotte Baker and Laura Davis, leave our quiet dignity to Jeanne Prahl. I. Alice Cole, leave my sparkling black eyes to Thelma Blake. I, Thelma Holt, leave my stock of bed-time stories to Jacob Brown. I, Stanley Peters, bequeath my inquisitiveness to “Eddie” Flynn. 1, Margaret Hall, bequeath my roller skates to any one who can use them correctly. I, Caroline Meinke, bequeath my empty jars of beauty clay (2 cases) to Hazel Ross. I. Otis Fuller, bequeath my seat in the study hall, as a representative of Farnham to George Hale. I, Edmund Huston, bequeath my Maxwell to any one who can make it run. I, Wm. Kehoe, bequeath my popularity with the opposite sex to Wellington Crews. I, Bessie Petrie, leave my nickel plated powder puff to Daisy Mae Reeves. I, Wm. James, bequeath to Chauncey Pendleton, my volume library on “Loves Labor Lost.” I, Floyd Struble, bequeath to Minnie Laituri the stick of gum I used this semester in all my classes. I. Edward Reeves, bequeath to Roland Downing my oratorical ability. I, Reid Eddy, bequeath to Harold Webb, my good humor and complete control of temper. I, Roland Puffer, bequeath to Sulo Kangas my all wool non-stretch bathing suit. To Billy Jud Miller, I, Alex Paul, leave my managership of the basketball team. I, Claribel King, bequeath my everlasting grin to Paul Dripan. I. Vivian Kroterfield, bequeath my frivolous nature to Dona Mae Gunion. I. Howard Walters, bequeath my great height to Gilmore Bales. I, Kenneth Rickard, bequeath my musical saw to Floyd Gee. I. Mary Chapin, bequeath my religion and morality to “Fat” Herman. I, Raymond Miller, bequeath my absent mindedness to Grant Joslin. I, Gertrude Rubenstein, bequeath my ability to talk on all things but the desired subject, in law class, to Viola Van Gorder. T, Helia Kananen, bequeath my shorthand ability to George Hill. (Continued on page 78)

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TIIE SENIOR TATTLER ABRACADABRA AND HIS 40 BEEVES By Will Shakespeare (A tragically comical tragedy) Dramatis Personae Abracadabra A rich hanch owner Miss Tery His daughter Setting and Time of Action Cut Throat The villain The g-eat out-of-doors—where a man's Hans The hero a nian—°f the wild and wooly West. Hanibal A Negro cook Between sunrise and sunset of 10th of rIhe Forty Beeves 40 ancient cattle June, 1583. (Abracadabra’s immense heard) Coyboys, horses, a parson, etc. Act I Dawn—the ranch house. Sun rising slowly over edge of grassy plain. Scene I—a dining room of his ranch house. Tables, chairs, etc. (Hanibal enters carrying a breakfast tray, swinging large bell.) HANIBAL—Breakfast am served, sir. Come and get it if yes want it. (Exit after placing tray on table). MISS TERY (entering and taking place at table)—Goodness gracious. MISS TERY—How hungry I am! This early rising surely induces hearty appetites. I wonder where father is. Don’t think I shall wait for him (she eats). How good these flapjacks are! I shall have to hurry and eat them all or I’ll get left when Dad comes. (Hears gentle tapping at window.) What on earth is that noise! (Rises, goes to window and throws it open) Hans! Why, Hans, what is it? HANS (much agitated)—Don’t squeak so loudly, Tery dear. I shust com by you to say goot-bye. I can’t shtay longer (great tears rolling down his round, fat face). Dose poys simply vill not let me alone. My Pford is ready. I crank nearly all night and she iss ready now. So good-bye, mine darling Tery! TERY (in tears)—But, my Hans, my hero, I cannot let you go alone out into the cruel, cruel world! An idea strikes her). I have it! I’ll go, too. Wait a minute. I’ll write a note to father and pin it on my pillow. I’ll fix some eats. (Puts flapjacks into paper bag) You go bring your car around by my window. Hurry, dearest. We gotta snap into’t, or dad’ll get wise before we duck. (They both exit; Hans through the window, Tery through the door.) (Abracadabra enters with Cut Throat.) ABRADACABRA—Yes, I am getting old; and before I die—for I am liable to die at any time now—I want to see my daughter happily married to you. So you bring a parson around about dinner time and we’ll have the weddin’. And remember—not a word to that sniveling Hans. CUT THROAT (A great cross-eyed, red-nosed, red-headed man with all front teeth missing, causing him to lisp)—Yeth, sir; I’ll be there. But letsth eat firthse. I am mighty hungry (sitting down, reaching for something to eat). ABRA. (doing likewise)—Now, what the great rattlesnakes! Where the deuce is the grub? (calling) Hanibal! (no answer) Hanibal!! (same) HANIBAL!!! (silence and lots of it). I’ll fix him! I’ve told him not to sleep while on duty, so here goes. (Drawing his trusty bean-shooter). Now listen! (sneaks to door leading to kitchen) A-ha—I thought so! Asleep under the stove! (aims his bean-shooter and fires). There—that’ll fix ’im. (comes back to table. Sits down). HANIBAL (entering in great fright)—Oh, ja, mister; here are dem flapjacks. And here iss dem eggs. Now vat more will master haft? ABRA. (eating with much gusto)—Nothing! Go to blazes! (exit Hanibal). (Abracadabra and Cut 'throat eat). CUT THROAT—I'm done now. I’ll go for the sky pilot. ABRA.—So am I. Be back by dinner time. I wait dinner for NO man, you know. I’ll call Tery (both exit). (Curtain) SCENE II—TERRY’S BEDROOM ABRA. (entering)—Tery! Tery!! Now by the great King Hottentat, where in blazes is that fool girl? TERY!!! Where on Mars is she? Ublnam gentiun est? I guess I don’t know. What is this? A note! (Opens note, reads, and becomes greatly ■excited.) Dear Father:— Hans is leaving, and I am going with him. We are to be married at—but that’s telling, so I’ll wire you when it is over—and you can’t get us. Toodle-oo, Old Top, TERY. Ah!!! I’ll overtake them. They must have gone in that car of Hans’, and that thing can’t go more than five miles an hour without developing gallooing consumption. I’ll to horse and after them. Perchance I’ll need my trusty beanshooter again this morning. (Exit.) (Curtain.) (Continued on page 34) 28