Conneaut High School - Tattler Yearbook (Conneaut, OH)

Page 28 text:

TIIE SENIOR TATTLER---- DAflLiVC. lZtZ IT HOtAE: S ££rJ h 0 ns H Ai NMU ) 26

Page 27 text:

TIIE SENIOR TATTLER CLASS PROPHECY This is station C. H. S. broadcasting direct from Washings-Taken-Ir.n at Washing, D. C. Our next number will be a piccolo solo by Caroline Meinke which we shall omit. Mr. McElroy, President of the Free Thinkers Institute for maniacs will give a short address on “Is the World round or flat and why does it.” This was the announcement that came thru the loud speaker at my radio station in the Rocky Mountains. As I hadn’t heard from any of my old schoolmates I immediately communicated with Mac and asked him if he wouldn’t please broadcast what he knew of our old class-mates. Here is the message he sent me. Pear Chuck, as I am president of an Insane Asylum and travel a great deal, I have been able to keep in touch with many of our old classmates. Here in my Insane Asylum I have a number of friends. Bill James is here; he thinks he is William the Conquerer and delights in catching flies and cutting their heads off. Margaret Ring has the idiocity to thing she is Cleopatra and goes about all day calling Reid, Reid, but Reid Eddy is over in China doing missionary work for the poor Mongolians. Floyd Struble has completely lost his reasoning power. He imagins he is in Conr.eaut High School studying. It is claimed he developed this stage of insanity while at school. Poor Floyd, I am afraid he is a hopeless case. I shall relate to you a trip I took a few days ago thru Washington. First I visited the Capitol and saw the President and who did I meet but Thelma Holt. She was elected president on the platform that powder was made for guns and should be used in guns only. Thelma was very delighted to see me and told me she would take me thru the city. We went down to her car and found Ed Reeves sitting in the chauffeur’s seat. Right then and there I told Thelma I would rather take a street car. On the street car I met two old friends, Howard Blackman and Dick Merrick. Howard was the motorman and delighted in playing with the levers in front. It is said that he is the best driver a street car could have. Dick Merrick was sitting between two big husky men. I went up to shake hands with Dick and found him handcuffed to them. He said he had been caught and convicted of breaking into an Ice house. During our ride on the street car Thelma told me that she had appointed Anna Masick, Laura Davis, Frances Grace and Margaret Mooney on the cabinet. She also said that Athena Treas had cleaned up the U.S. treasury, as a janitor. John Wellman has become a successful tanner, taking his father’s place. He now tans the hides to the tune of ten children. Eugenia Page is an ambassador to Bolivia. She had.learned so many languages in school every body knew she would become an ambassador. Otis Fuller has become a light heavy weight champion in the Charleston contest. We soon arrived at the fair grounds where there was an exposition to commemorate the 50th anniversary of the Volstead Act. The main part of the exposition containeu substitute beverages and specially prepared mixtures for home brew consumption. James Mohan had perfected a home brew which was guaranteed to produce unconsciousness in 10 seconds. As we entered the gate the first person we saw was Vivian Kroterfield. She was taking the tickets just like she used to take the cake back at school. We asked Vivian if any of our old school mates were here and she said they all were in one way or another. Kenny Rickard was selling pop corn balls with a prize in each package. A pompous gentlemen was standing on a large platform telling the innocent bystanders that the greatest freaks and animal trainers in the world. This gentleman, I saw at a glance, was A1 Pauli. He had made enough money cleaning street lights to start a side show-. On the platform wth him was Eke Puffer and Howard Walters. Eke had attended the height of 10 ft. while Howard had shrunk to the small size of 3 ft. five inches. We purchased tickets at the window and saw Lois Abbott serenely chewing a maleable cud of gum. We entered the show and to greet our gaze was Arlene Beach and Nydia Strong who were each calmly tossing an elephant over their shoulders. Claribel King held down the job of cigarette fiend. We next proceeded to the animal trainers. There were Mary Mowry and Mary Chapin with long whips in their iiands making cute little dogs sit up and beg for animal crackers. Eleanor Pendleton would grasp a tawny lion, tear his jaws apart and plunge her head in, one of the most daring tricks in the world. Mary Dingman was doing a bara back stunt on a trained seal, also a very marvelous fete because it required great dexterity to remain upright on a slippery seal. But the best act of all was when Jerry Jones mude her pet mice stand up on their hind legs, throw their tails over their shoulders and march up and down the tent. When we went out we saw at the door Dorothy W heeler doing a juggling act. She was juggling three persons, Helia Kananen, Martha Ylisaari and Elva Kakkonen. Dorothy had learned this dare devilish trick while driving her flivver on the improved roads of East Conneaut. Over in the corner we looked into a mummy case and gazed on the dead feature of Doug Lyons. He hadn’t awakened yet from his unconscious state of mind. We left the side show and proceeded to the building of invention. All the-recent devices of the past twenty years were to be seen there and I noticed that oui school mates had been doing their share in contriving articles of the most importance. (continued on page 78)

Page 29 text:

THE SENIOR TATTLER CLASS WILL We, the Senior class of 1926, being sound in mind, and of extreme mental capacity, do hereby make, publish, and broadcast this, our last will and testament, hoping with a sincere desire that, with the aid of these bequests, our heirs will be able satisfactorily to take our places in the corridors of C. H. S. First, to the Juniors, our nearest kin, we leave our dignity and modesty, winch is a great asset in making people think that you know something. To the Sophomores we leave all of our toys hoping that they will be allowed to use them until they too shall cast off childish things. To the faculty we leave the knowledge gained in dealing with our members, also, a period of peace and rest, until the coming Seniors take up our good work. Following are the personal bequests: 1, Lois Cossitt, bequeath to Kenneth Watson my position as Valedictorian. I, Dorothy Wheeler, bequeath my position as Salutatorian to “Dick” McGuire. I, Elvi Kahkonen bequeath my high marks to Dick so he can be sure of getting the affnre mentioned position. I, Charles Maxon, bequeath my Saxaphone to “Luke” York. I, Edythe Rubenstein, leave my quietness to Cecil Johnson. 1. Lois Abbott, bequeath my new set of teeth to Earl Taylor. I, Genevieve Anthony, bequeath my good marks in Mr. Schaaf’s class to anyone who can get them as easy as I do. I. Dorothy Clark, bequeath my bashfulness to Lillian Jones, if she should ever need it. To Laura Myers, I, Mary Dingman, bequeath my appetite for unusual dishes. I, Pauline Esterhay, freely give my long dresses to Dean Percy. To Martha Huston, I, Arleen Beach, give my leather volume on “How to Reduce.” I, John Wellman, bequeath my old pair of shoes to Roland Marcy, hoping that some day he will be able to completely fill them. To the coming Senior President, I, Arvine McElroy leave my executive ability. I. Anna Masick, leave my sorrel top to Dorothy Cook. To Miles Dorman, I, Athena Treas, leave my ability to accomplish what I set out to Jo. I, Frances Grace, bequeath to Russell Mulaney my new sled, hoping he will not wear out his welcome at the (Hill). I. Merle Reets, bequeath to Alice Stewart my home course of studies on “Why be Bashful.” We, Charlotte Baker and Laura Davis, leave our quiet dignity to Jeanne Prahl. I. Alice Cole, leave my sparkling black eyes to Thelma Blake. I, Thelma Holt, leave my stock of bed-time stories to Jacob Brown. I, Stanley Peters, bequeath my inquisitiveness to “Eddie” Flynn. 1, Margaret Hall, bequeath my roller skates to any one who can use them correctly. I, Caroline Meinke, bequeath my empty jars of beauty clay (2 cases) to Hazel Ross. I. Otis Fuller, bequeath my seat in the study hall, as a representative of Farnham to George Hale. I, Edmund Huston, bequeath my Maxwell to any one who can make it run. I, Wm. Kehoe, bequeath my popularity with the opposite sex to Wellington Crews. I, Bessie Petrie, leave my nickel plated powder puff to Daisy Mae Reeves. I, Wm. James, bequeath to Chauncey Pendleton, my volume library on “Loves Labor Lost.” I, Floyd Struble, bequeath to Minnie Laituri the stick of gum I used this semester in all my classes. I. Edward Reeves, bequeath to Roland Downing my oratorical ability. I, Reid Eddy, bequeath to Harold Webb, my good humor and complete control of temper. I, Roland Puffer, bequeath to Sulo Kangas my all wool non-stretch bathing suit. To Billy Jud Miller, I, Alex Paul, leave my managership of the basketball team. I, Claribel King, bequeath my everlasting grin to Paul Dripan. I. Vivian Kroterfield, bequeath my frivolous nature to Dona Mae Gunion. I. Howard Walters, bequeath my great height to Gilmore Bales. I, Kenneth Rickard, bequeath my musical saw to Floyd Gee. I. Mary Chapin, bequeath my religion and morality to “Fat” Herman. I, Raymond Miller, bequeath my absent mindedness to Grant Joslin. I, Gertrude Rubenstein, bequeath my ability to talk on all things but the desired subject, in law class, to Viola Van Gorder. T, Helia Kananen, bequeath my shorthand ability to George Hill. (Continued on page 78)