Conneaut High School - Tattler Yearbook (Conneaut, OH)

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THE SENIOR TATTLER THE SENIOR CLASS PROPHECY 11% ARTHUR (jiOl:I DI (i On ihe opposite side of this page you read the history of the class of 1925, Conneaut high school. The writer of that document had an easy task compared with mine. She had the tangible record of the brilliant achievements of a glorious class to work with, but my task is to unfold the future of these self-same individuals; to lift the veil from a period, say fifteen years hence, and speculate on these seniors not as they have been or as they are but as they shall be; to locate, as it were, each star in his or her respective place in the firmament. So now prepare; the spell is upon me, my charm is beginning to work. All ready I can see our illustrious president, Alexander Smart, sitting in his office on Wall street determing the financial des-tin of the nation. While in New York recently, I visited Mr. Smart at his office, i had a great deal of difficulty in securing an Interview, but when he found out who it was that wished to see him 1 was admitted at once. My curiosity over his eagerness to see me was settled by his first words. “1 would appreciate if you would pay me the dollar and a half you still owe for Senior dues.” After relieving his anxiety on that point, 1 persuaded him to relax from his duties for an afternoon and show me the city. Upon descending from his office, I was a trifle surprised when I found that the elevator operator was Arloean Dean, for I knew that her performances with a Ford are not to her credit. Nevertheless we were safely, if not slowly, deposited on the ground floor. As we were going out of the building, I saw in a display window an instrument invented by a man named Hines, that, when attached to a sewing machine, would enable it to produce radio music, i was getting worried over who was going to pay the car fare, for my mother had always warned me against carrying large sums of money with me, when Alex came to my rescue and suggested that we drive down in his Rolls Royce. I considered this a good suggestion until I found out his chauffeur was Ellen Clark and then I informed Alex instantly that the walk would be beneficial to our health. As we started on our tour we noticed a large crowd gathered around a very excited Soap Box Orator. Judging from the name on the platform, one would take him to b Mr. Ivory whom I had seen widely advertised as being ninety-nine and three-fourths per cent. pure. Hut when with wild spasmodic gestures he started to sputter about swooping swallows snoring in the distance. 1 immediately recognized this would-be Demosthenes as our famous debator of “Ye olden school days. Janies Keating. (With apologies to Mr. Ivory long may he remain pure). Alex had kept himself well informed as to what the members of our class were doing. This was certainly interesting news to me. Blanche Humble, he said, had taken charge of the Destruction of French in C. H. S. Just then we passed a large sign which read. “Baker Baker, Auto Springs.” I noticed that the names were familiar. Alex informed me that Isabelle was head sales woman, while Irene tested each spring for durability. People hear quite a bit of Cletus Kelley now, for he cries newspapers in the busiest section of New York. I was pleasantly surprised to find so many of my former class mates in old New York and was ever on the alert hoping to see more of my fellow inmates of Conneaut high school. I was not disappointed in this, for I saw many more. Art Halliday, it seems, is not the only one of us who has attainted groat height, Gaylord Smith was formerly an air mail carrier but for economic reasons has been replaced by Russell Fancher. while Irma Myers, who. you will remember, greatly enjoyed playing post office while in C. H. S.. is postmistress of this route. Knowing the reputation of the Astor hotel. I, was growing anxious to view it. But as it came to view, Lo and Behold! the Astor had changed to a lily, in honor of Lily Bunker. In passing a large shoe store, 1 glanced in and saw a young man sur- rounded with shoe boxes piled three feet high, while the clerk was searching diligently for a larger pair of shoes. Because of this distinctive feature. 1 recognized the customer as George Cheney. I find that Albert O’Brien makes good use of his vocal organs in his struggle for existence. As we were passing a building just being constructed, I heard that familiar and melodious voice calling out More Bricks.” At this call I saw Don Parker grasp a brick in each hand, which is the union limit, and in-dicentally, stands in no great danger of being broken by Don. and rushed them to the industrious Albert. A short distance ahead we recognized Lucille Towne and Robert Andrews standing in front of an allotment, which was recently opened for sale. They were evidently making practical use of their experience gained in debate. Lucille firmly maintained that the colonial style would be more satisfactory, while Bob with equal ardor upheld the bungalow type. As they were siniiltaneoiisly bringing out some good points, we did not interrupt them. , Alex at this moment began to feel the pangs of hunger and since the feeling was mutual we entered a nearby restaurant. The place was marvelous and the waitresses did it full justice. Among the flock of fleet-footed dish-carriers I recognized Margaret Downer, Martha Jarvi and Alma Allberg. we observed two familiar figures sitting, or rather dozing, at a rear table, who appeared to have participated rather freely of beverages. Just as they reached their highest point of hilarity Ralph Downer, managing manager of everything imaginable, appeared and instructed Alma to conduct him to the door. Alma did this in a very unmanly way. As they were dragged past us we recognized them as Stanley Laird and Merwyn Liningcr. A few moments later and everything seemed to be coming my way, Margaret tilted her tray laden with hot coffee. She had recognized me. Alex, evidently jealous of all this attention I was receiving from the waitresses, seemed to think it advisable that we leave at once. He suggested that we get Maurice Baird, who lived a short distance away, and attend a circus which was on the bill for that day. There was a little delay in our program, however. Maurice said he would be delighted to attend a circus with us but he expected Genevieve home soon, and before leaving she had told him to have the ironing done when she returned. Both members of this family firmly believe that the man’s place is in the home. Maurice had received a Tattler recently and said there would be something in it of interest to us. Leaving Maurice to do his ironing we read the Tattler while making our way towards the circus. It held miny interesting things. Clarence Koelicker after taking the State Agricultural test realized that his talent lay along this line and now owns a mule ranch in South Africa. Clarence has named all of the mules Maxwellton because their braces are so bonnie. Lillian McGuire and Inez Holcomb have entered the agricultural field and are now trying to raise dates in Egypt. In a short article by Mr. Henry we read the startling news that he considered the high school priceless now that Howard had left. We were forced to postpone further reading, for by this time we had arrived at the entrance of the circus. As we turned to go into the grounds we were accosted by a man hobbiling along on one leg. Looking down. I realized at once that I was gazing into the sweet-smiling countenance of Lauri Ritari. After conversing with Rit several minutes I asked him by what strange accident it was that he had lost his leg. Rit then unfolded the heart-rending taleof how one dark and moonlight night while robbing Twitchel’s meat market he caught his leg in the sausage grinder. Being of a very generous disposition and feeling it our duty toward our former class-mate, Alex and I jointly contributed the price of a package of chewing gum. and showed our sporting blood by allowing Ritari to keep the gum just purchased. We noticed the towering form of Howard McMahon just in front of us. and hurrying ahead we finally reached him. Alex and T were very much surprised to find that Howard had survived the charms of the supposedly fair sex and still retained his freedom. What is the use of marrying. Howard tells us, now that the radio has made the phonograph so cheap? They not only last longer but the upkeep Is decidedly less. We were very glad to meet Howard for he paid our admission into the circus. The (Continued on page 80)

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T11K SENIOR TATTLER Class 9T)i We. the Seniors of .Conneaut High School. Conneaut. Ohio. United States of America, being of sound mind and unfaltering: memory, at present, do wish to make the following: be- queaths and confessions, before the aforementioned soundness of mind and stability of memory have departed from the skull. I am sure that it will be generally conceded that the Senior Mind to date is of unquestionable caliber—in fact the extent of our mental processes probably out-reaches that of the ones most interested in this document. (Our own unbiased opinion.) First, to the Juniors, we bequeath our dignity, the most important asset of the Class of 26. To them also we would also leave our peculiar ability and faculty for successfully terminating any attempted project. Second, to the sophomores we would bequeath the sole right to endeavor, by any means that their shallow and unfertile minds can suggest, to gain some prestige or recognition in or about the High School. The personal bequeaths of the members of the Senior Class are as follows—verbatim:— 1, Alex Smart, bequeath to Bill” Kehoe my ability as class president to conduct all meetings without any arguments among class members. I. Robert Andrews, bequeath to Charles Maxo n my volume of ten leather bound books on How to; succeed in Love.” To Gertrude Hart, I, Lucille Towne, do hereby bequeath my series of essays on How to win a Husband.” I. William Taylor, bequeath to Charles Hogle my red hair. 1. Fayetta Haefner, bequeath to Robert Nelson my desire to enter the ministry. I. Don Parker, bequeath to Lee Woodworth my license to run a taxi for all Fast Conneaut girls. (Warning—never take over eight in one trip.) I. Florence Tinney, bequeath to Walter Patterson my skill in writing poetry. I. Hilma Kolehmainen, bequeath to Cecil Johnson, my high marks, hoping that he becomes valedictorian in the class of 45. 1. Ruth Ring, bequeath to Ted Hales my long walk to Fast Conneaut, hoping he gets stronger each time he walks it. I. Russel Fancher. bequeath to Margaret Forney my completed gym and all of the necessary equipment that goes with it. I. Stanley Laird, bequeath to Arvine McFlroy my unfaltering interest in the Junior High School's fairer sex. I. Alice Marsh, bequeath to Margaret Hall my complete control of temper in Physics Laboratory. 1. Isabelle Raker, bequeath to Lois Cossitt my desire to become a Mrs. 1. Charlotte Gilbraith. bequeath my many automobile rides on Harbor St. to Howard Bell. I, Fdna McMahon, bequeath to Bessie Petrie my desire to become a school teacher. 1. Inez Holcomb, bequeath my Ford Sedan to Frances Grace, hoping she will be no speedier than I was. I, Rozelia Linfoot, bequeath my slenderness to Arlene Beach. I. Clarence Koelliker, bequeath my desire for keeping late hours to Burton Golden. I. Martha Jarvi, bequeath to Minnie Laituri my genuine false teeth. I. Frances Paulson, bequeath to David Seibert my ability to hear all of the gossip. I, Donald Twichell. bequeath to Louis Mondy my Certificate in Hand Writing received from Cable T. Barnes. I, Lillian McGuire, bequeath my cast-iron vanity case to Mary Mowry. I, Naomi Grumbling, bequeath my untiring ambition to Sam Bales. I. lmpi Herpy, bequeath to Eugenia Page my regular attendance at church. I. James Keating, bequeath to Ralph Meckley. my oratorical ability. I. Mary Focht. bequeath to Edythe Gruber my talkative nature. I. Fllen Clarke, bequeath to Lois Abbott my apparent desire for attention from the opposite sex. I. Margaret Downer, bequeath my self to Sherman Kennedy. I. Blanche Humble, bequeath to Thelma Holt my popularity with the boys. To Roland Puffer. I, Alma Ahlberg, bequeath my popular nickname as “Jack Dempsey.” I. Pearl Dunnington. bequeath my place at all of the Hi-Y “Bean Suppers” to Irene Forester, hoping she gets as much kick” out it as I did. I, Merwin Lininger, leave to Vernon Harley my Cheverlet touring car. I. Gaylord Smith, bequeath to Martha Kananen my all wool” basket-ball suit. I. Howard Price, bequeath to Kenneth Rickard my reputation with the teachers as being the quietest boy in the room. I. Albert O'Brien, bequeath to Lloyd Lamont the leading part in all operattas. I. Cletus Kelley, bequeath to Geraldine Blade my ability to be heard altho not seen. I. Arthur Goulding. bequeath to Doug” Lyons my liking for Miss Geyer. I. Art Truelson. bequeath my place In athletics to Donald Mook. I. Irene Baker, bequeath my excess avoirdupois to “Skinny” Cline. I, Maurice Baird, leave my success in driving a Ford car to Raymond Miller. I, Mary Abbott, leave my hard-boiled-ness to Doris Kettell. I. Lauri Ritari, bequeath to Francis O'Connor the captaincy of the football team hoping he wins championship. I. Ralph Downer, leave my place in Physics Laboratory to Edward Reeves, hoping he has much success working with the girls as I did. I, Carlton Gee. bequeath my Civics notebook (knowing that she will need it) to Mary Dingman. I. Mary Leet, bequeath to Helen Sibbald my daily hike. T, Verna Gillespie, bequeath to Otis Fuller my typerwriting honors. 1. Arthur Halliday, bequeath to “Fat” Herman my fifteen-pound jar of Henry’s Hair Stay.” (continued on page 79) th 32