Conneaut High School - Tattler Yearbook (Conneaut, OH)

Text from Pages 1 - 100 of the 1923 volume:

ZTbe Tattler NINETEEN HUNDRED AND TWENTY-THREE (Srabuation IRumber Published by THE SENIOR CLASS OF C. H. S. CONNEAUT. OHIO Contents 0lass (TRoll £iterary Editorial Society Sports Class Jlctiuities Jokes Jids. Dedicated to our Honorary Member EDITH BOOTH Our Superintendent MR. DICKEY Cbc Class Of 1923 THIRTI]-FOURTH ‘Annual Commencement OF eonUEAUT rttlQH SCHOOL CALENDAR Friday, June 1—Junior-Senior Party Sunday, June 3—Baccalaureate Tuesday, June 5—Senior Play Wednesday, June 6—Music Credit Recital Thursday, June 7—Graduating Exercises Monday, June 11—Trip to Washington CLASS OFFICERS President Edwin Cook Ford Vice President Charles Dudley Bell Secretary Marie Theresa Miller Treasurer Edward La Verne Greenman HONORS First: Howard A. Calkins Class Motto: Never idle a moment, but be thrifty and thoughtful of others Second: Reba Lillian Mac Farland Class Colors: Blue and Gold Class Flowers: Yelow Rose and Quaker Bonnets GRADUATION EXERCISES Program Music—March ______________________ Sousa High School Orchestra Invocation__________Rev. J. H. Rankin Oration ____________ America’s Heritage Reba Lillian Mac Farland Music—(a) Little Papoose______Cadman (b) Springtime _________ Watkins Girls’ Glee Club Oration __________________ Beacon Lights Mary Lucille Hilderbrand Reading---------------- Stage Struck Clara Gertrude Harvey Music—(a) Traumerei___________Mac Dowell (b) At Dawning_____________Cadman High School Orchestra Oration______Problems Facing Americans Homer Carlysle Barton Music—(a) Sky Boat Song_________J. Bell (b) Home Road___________ -----------John Allen Carpenter Misses Gifford, Clemens, Prahl, Cossitt Messrs. Hermann, Steele, Grace, Kultti Oration _____________ Facing the Future Howard A. Calkins Music—Valse Lente ________________ Coerne High School Orchestra Presentation of Class__.Louise E. Kahler Principal High School Conferring Diplomas President Board of Education Benediction------------ Rev. J. H. Rankin BACCALAUREATE SUNDAY, JUNE 3 Rev. W. H. Hunt in Charge Invocation ----------- Rev. C. W. Balyeat Scripture Reading______Rev. W. J. Barrett Prayer____________ Rev. W. N. Robertson Sermon____________ Rev. Frank P. Welkner Benediction________Rev. Ernest D. Gilbert Music furnished by representatives from the churches cjune, Nineteen hundred and Oruenti CThree CLASS MOTTO: Never idle a moment, but be thrifty and thoughtful of others. CLASS COLORS: CLASS FLOWERS: Blue and Gold. Yellow Rose and Quaker Bonnet JOHN AHLBERG “A man of sense can artifice disdain” Armistice Day Program, ’21 May Festival, ’22 Kum Klean Kampaign, ’23 FRED ALLEN “His youth and age All of a piece throughout. And all divine.” EINO AHO “What have I with love to do? Sterner cares my lot pursue.” DOROTHY BACON “O Music! Sphere-descended maid, Friend of pleasure, wisdom’s aid.” Orchestra, ’20, ’21, ’22, ’23 Basketball, ’20, ’21, 22, ’23 Cantain Basketball, ’22, ’23 Glee Club, '20, ’21, ’22, ’23 Princess Chrysanthemum Wreck of the Hesperus Gypsy Rover Vice President of the Athenian President of Dramatic Club ESTHER BACON “Patience waits the destined day.” Freshman Chorus May Festival Boosters Club Zaner Certificate Underwood Certifihate Palmer Certificate EVA BARSKY Maiden with the meek brown eyes, In whose orbs a shadow lies Like the dusk in evening skies.” Freshman Chorus Orchestra, ’20, ’21, ’22, ’23 President Sigma Beta Vice President Victoria Vice President Sigma Beta Class Historian Honor Society Tattler Staff Senior Tattler Staff Library Staff, ’22, ’23 Junior Farce Motto and Flower Committee HOMER BARTON “Now, I have Dame Fortune by the forelock.” Vice President Hi-Y Delegate to Hi-Y Training Camp Track, ’21, ’23 Track Manager, ’22 Stage Manager, ’22 Stage Manager of “Gypsy Rover” Debate Captain, ’23 Debate, ’22, ’23 Senior Tattler Staff Commencement Speaker Cheer Leader, ’23 Ring and Invitation Committee DUDLEY BELL “Just at the age ’twixt boy and youth, When thought is speech, and speech is truth.” Class Vice President Vice President Smith Tattler Board, ’21, ’22 Tattler Circulation Manager, ’23 Senior Tattler Staff Library Staff, ’23 Baseball, ’23 Senior Play Class Prophet May Day, ’21 “Medicine Show, ’21 Armistice Day Parade, ’20 HENRY BENSON “All unruffled was his face, They trusted his soul had gotten grace.” President Art Club, ’22 Basketball Executive Committee, ’23 Officer Irving Society, ’20 Armistice Day Parade, '20, ’21 May Festival Chorus, '21 HOMER BREWSTER “Steady of heart and stout of hand.” Officer Irving, ’18 Freshman Chorus, ’18 May Day Festival, ’21, ’22 _ FLORA BROMFIELI) “Your locks are as brown as mavis in May, Your heart is as warm as sunshine today.” Chorus, ’20 Economic Club, ’23 Victorian Society, ’22 the the HOWARD CALKINS “A gentleman is a person gifted with tact, kindness, knowledge of the world, and courtesy.” Valedictorian President Smith Society, ’22 President Honor Society, ’23 President Dramatic Club, ’23 Secretary Dramatic Club. ’23 Debate, ’23 Tattler Board, ’23 Manager Senior Tattler Senior Play Hi-Y Basketball Executive Committee, ’23 JACKSON CLARK “I know thou art what the world calls a brave fellow; and I have ever found thee an honest one.” Glee Club, ’22 Kum Klean Kampaign, ’23 Property Manager Senior Play ETTA CLEMENS “Fantastically dedizened with inconsistent perfections.” Glee Club, ’20, ’21, ’22, ’23 Captain of Plymouth Princess Chrysanthemum Wreck of the Hesperus • Gypsy Rover Joy Nite Senior Quartette May Day Festival, ’21, ’22 Tattler Board, ’21, ’22, ’23 Secretary of Athenian Senior Play HAROLD CODY “The mother of mischief is no bigger than a midge’s wing.” Senior Tattler Board Senior Play Senior Circus Hi-Y Tattler Staff, ’23 Secretary Scribblers’ Club, ’23 Junior Farce Basketball Executive Committee Kum Klean Kampaign, ’23 Officer Smith, ’22 ANNABELLE COOK “May ye be just as happy yoursel’, as ye like to se a’ body else.” Basketball, ’21, ’22, ’23 President Lincoln Society Booster’s Club Dramatic Club Glee Club, ’21, ’22 Princess Chrysanthemum Chorus, ’20, ’21 ELIZABETH COSSITT “Who mix’d reason with pleasure, and wisdom with mirth.” President Philomathean President Sophomore Class President Debate Club, ’23 Triangular Debate Team, ’22, ’2.3 Manager Basketball Team, ’22, ’23 Chairman Library Staff, ’22, ’23 Vice Pres. Girls’ Athletic Ass’n, ’21 Secretary Honor Society Sigma Beta Gypsy Rover Commencement Octette LOUISE DARROW “Her voice was ever soft, gentle and low—an excellent thing in woman.” Vice President Mathematics Club Chorus, ’21, ’22 Glee Club, ’22, ’23 Operetta, ’20 Underwood Certificate Remington Certificate MAX DOWNER “There are men who talk in their sleep for sheer waste of activity.” President Irving Society Officer Smith Honor Society Orchestra Chorus, ’20, ’21 Fire Brigade EVANGELINE FANCHER “Of a comely countenance and grace was she.” President Victoria Vice President Commercial Club Glee Club Wreck of Hesperus Joy Nite Senior Play Princess Chrysanthemum Remington Certificate DOROTHA FERRY “’Tis Dorothee a maid lovely as the blushing morn.” Vice President Dramatic Club, ’22 Secretary Lincoln Society, ’20 Literary Society, ’19, ’21 Dramatic Club, '23 Chorus, ’20, ’21 EDWIN FORD “Hear every man’s counsel and keep your own.” Class President, ’22, ’23 President Hi-Y Club, ’23 Secretary Hi-Y Club, ’22 Vice President Dramatic Club, '23 Delegate Dayton Conference, ’22 Manager Baseball, ’23 Track, ’23 Interclass Meet, ’23 Senior Play Senior Circus Junior Farce EMILY GIFFORD “By nature born a friend to glee and merriment.” Chorus, ’21, ’22 Operetta, ’23 Commencement Octette Junior Farce CHARLES GRACE “I long my careless limbs to lay Under the plantain’s shade.” President Radio Club , High School Council, ’23 Senior Play Freshman Chorus Glee Club, ’22, ’23 Operetta, ’23 Senior Octette Kum Klean Kampaign LAVERN GREENMAN “There’s a good time coming.' Class Treasurer ’22, ’23 Officer Irving, ’19 Tattler Board Scribblers’ Club ’23 Senior Play Senior Circus Senior Reception Committee Kum Klean Kampaign, ’23 MERLE GRIFFEY “Thy beauty appears, In its graces and airs—” Vice President Art Club, ’23 Captain of Plymouth, ’20 Operetta, T9 Glee Club, T9, ’20 LEIGH GRISWOLD “A comradjs neither glum nor merry.” Interclass Track Meet, ’22, ’23 Track, ’23 Smith-Varsity Baseball Game, ’22 Kum Klean Kampaign, ’23 Remington Typing Certificate Underwood Typing Certificate Zaner Writing Certificate RICHARD IIAKANSON “Ambition is no cure for love.” Triangular Debate Team, ’23 Library Staff, ’23 Senior Play Chorus, ’20 CLARA HARVEY “Her eye’s dark charm ’twere vain to tell; But bespoke such eloquence as did her voice.” President Philomatehan, ’20 Vice Pres. Public Speaking Class, ’23 Senior Play Public Speaking Class, ’21 Commencement Reader Chorus, ’20, ’21 Glee Club, ’22, ’23 Operetta, '23 Joy Nite Booster’s Club JOSEPH HERRMANN “His voice was steady, low and deep Like distant waves when breezes sleep.” President Radio Club, ’22 Vice President Oxford, ’21 Basketball Executive Committee, ’23 Track, ’21, ’22 Commencement Octette Freshman Chorus Glee Club, ’22, ’23 Operetta, ’21, ’22, ’23 High School Council HIRAM HEWS “A lad of endless good humor. President Tuaennoc Society Vice President Smith Glee Club, ’20 Operetta, ’20 Football, ’21, ’23 Armistice Day Parade, '20 LUCILLE HILDERBRAND “Live still, and write minb epitaph.” Vice President Dramatic Club, ’23 Vice President Victorian Society, ’22 Vice President Philomathean, ’20 Honor Society Sigma Beta Secretary of Sophomore Class Commencement Speaker Senior Tattler Staff Senior Play Glee Club, ’22, ’23 Junior Farce ALICE HILL “Humility, that low sweet root, From which all heavenly virtues shoot.” Zaner Certificate, Penmanship Bronze Medal, Typewriting Underwood Certificate, Typewriting Secretary Commercial Club, ’23 LEO HINES “I hold a hasty man no tetter than a fool.” Officer Smith, ’20 Track, ’23 Orchestra, ’20, ’21, ’22 Glee Club, ’20, ’21, ’22 Captain of Plymouth Gypsy Rover HILMA HOLKO “Be honest, be industrious, be frugal, and you will soon win wealth and worship.” Secretary Cresset, ’21 Debate Club, ’22, ’23 Gregg Honor, ’21 Literary Society, T9, ’20 HOWARD HUSTON “Things must be as they may. Steinnietz Club, ’23 Kurn Klean Kampaign, ’23 Armistice Day Parade, ’21 WILLIAM KANTOLA “The wise man is his own best servant and assistant.” Secretary Oxford Society Honor Society Glee Club, ’21, ’22 Captain of Plymouth HAROLD KAUFFMAN “He could on either side dispute, confute, change hands, and still confute.” Secretary of Smith, ’22 Secretary of Irving, ’19 Glee Club, ’21 Operetta, ’20 HOWARD KING “I’ll rather dwell alone ” Chorus, ’21 May Day Festival, ’22' Kum Klean Kampaign, ’23 WAINO KOLEHMAINEN “His form was of manliest beauty, His heart was kind and soft, Faithful, below, he did his duty.” Baseball, ’21, ’22, ’23 Basketball, ’22, ’23 Secretary Hi-Y Club Treasurer Hi-Y Club Vice President French Club Honor Society THEODORE KULTTI “His limbs were cast in manly mould For hardy sports or contest bold.” President Oxford Society, ’19 Vice President Oxford Society, ’20 Officer Varsity Society Glee Club, ’22 Chorus, ’20 Captain of Plymouth, ’20 Senior Play Senior Circus Commencement Octette Kum Klean Kampaign, '23 May Festival, ’22 ELIZABETH LEE “Of deepest blue, of summer skies Is wrought the heaven of her eyes. Chorus, ’20, ’21 May Festival, ’21 Clionian, ’20 Au Fait, ’21, ’22 Dramatic Club, ’23 REBA MAC FARLAND “Oh, would that we Were bright like she.” President Scribblers’ Club, ’23 Secretary Clionian Club Tattler Board, ’21, ’22 Chorus, ’21, ’22, ’23 Junior Farce, ’21 Advertising Manager “Gypsy Rover” Salutatorian TRUEY MARSHALL “The gentleness of all the Gods go with thee.” President Au Fait, ’20 President Ecnomics Club, '23 Glee Club, T9, ’20, ’23 Operetta, ’21, ’22 MARION McRAE “The waters that are the stillest are also the deepest.” President Athenian Society, 21 President Honor Society, ’23 Sigma Beta, ’23 Scribblers, ’23 Junior Farce Chorus, ’20, ’21 MARIE MILLER “A foot more light, a step more true, Ne’er from the heath flower dash’d the dew.” President Sigma Beta Vice President Honor Society Class Secretary, ’22, ’23 Secretary Victoria Society Officer Athenian Society Tattler Board, ’23 Scribblers’ Club Boosters’ Club Freshman Chorus VIRGINIA MINER Faith might for her mirror hold That eye of matchless blue.” Sigma Beta Scribblers’ Club Class Will Senior Tattler Board Senior Circus Junior Farce Flower and Motto Committee Underwood Typewriting Medal IRENE MONTGOMERY And that smile like sunshine dart Into many a sunless heart, For a smile of God thou art.” Commercial Club Chorus, ’20, ’21 Remington Certificate Underwood Certificate Underwood Medal HELEN NEAL “A true lady represents modesty, and sweetness, and self-control.” Freshman Music Chorus, ’21 Underwood Typewriting Certificate Vice President Business Club, ’23 MARION O’NEIL Fair is the damsel, passing fair, Sunny at the distance gleams her smile.” President French Club, ’22 Secretary Honor Society, ’23 Junior Farce Orchestra, ’22, ’23 Operetta, '22, ’23 (accompanist) Boosters’ Club Freshman Chorus RUDOLPH ORMAN “The wilder the waves, the more powerful is the voice that rules them.” Vice President Debate Club, ’23 Public Speaking Club, ’21 Orchestra, ’22, ’23 LORETA PARKER “Thoughts, from the tongue that slowly part, Glance quick as lightning through the heart.” Secretary Girls’ Athletic Association ’91 ’99 ’23 Basketball, ’22, ’23 Chorus, ’20, ’21 LYDIA PRAHL “Playful blushes that sijem nought But luminous escapes of thought.” President Girls’ Athletic Ass’n, ’23 Officer Clionian Club, ’20 Chairman Junior Library Staff, ’23 Library Staff, ’22, ’23 Basketball, ’21, ’22, ’23 Tattler Board Senior Play Senior Circus Glee Club Commencement Octette Chorus, ’19, ’20, ’21 ELIZABETH PRESCOTT “We need never fear anything else when we are doing a good turn' Chorus, ’20, ’21 Booster Club, ’22 French Club, ’23 Peace Parade, ’21 Junior Farce, ’22 ROBERT PUFFER “Heroic virtues did his actions guide.” President Liberty Vice President Liberty Vice President Vai'sity Vice President Oxford Secretary Oxford Baseball ’20, ’21, ’22 Captain Baseball, '21 Track, T9, ’20, ’21 Student Council JOHN PUNKAR “Here stand I tight and trim Quick of eye, though little of limb.” Vice President of Varsity Secretary Oxford Officer Oxford Officer Liberty Basketball, ’23 Football, ’22 Hi-Y Orchestra Inter Class Track Meet, ’23 LAURI RAJALA “There are people like ponies, their judgments can not go fast, but they go sure.” Vice President Honor Society, ’23 Secretary Scribblers’ Club, ’23 Library Staff, ’23 Tattler Board, ’23 Senior Tattler Board Senior Play Orchestra, ’19, ’20, ’21 Hi-Y Club, ’22, ’23 Interclass Track, ’23 MARGARET REEVES “Beauty’s eyes should ever be Like the twin stars that soothe the sea.” Chorus, ’20, ’22 Glee Club, ’23 Booster Club Public Speaking Club, ’22 Senior Play Senior Circus Dramatic Club Underwood Certificate Remington Certificate FRANCES ROSE “Men are more eloquent thai. women made; But women are more powerful to persuade.” Chorus ’20, ’21 Glee Club, ’22, ’23 Princess Chrysanthemum Boosters’ Club Art Club LEMPPI SAMPPI “Enthusiasm is a stream that may foam off in its own time.” Honor Society Debate Club Zaner Certificate Remington Certificate Underwood Certificate Underwood Medal JOHN SLAUGHTER “Fine words butter no parsnips.' Chorus, ’22 GLADYS SPEER “Constancy’s the gift of heaven.” Freshman Music RUTH SPICER “Truth prevails o’er falsehood.” Remington Typewriting Certificate, ’23 Underwood Typewriting Certificate ’23 OTTO STEELE i “A pleasant gentleman, but I will warrant him an humorous, and sings a sweet song.” President Business Club, ’23 Football, ’20, ’21, ’22 Captain of Plymouth Commencement Octette LAWRENCE TAPPE “Better late thrive than never do well.” President Scribblers’ Club, ’23 Manager Tattler, ’23 Tattler Board, ’22, ’23 Hi-Y Club, ’22, ’23 Baseball, ’21, ’22, ’23 Senior Play High School Council, ’23 Kum Klean Kampaign, ’23 Chorus, ’21 ENGRII) TOBASON “Of that fine gold the autumns wear, Is wrought the glory of her hair.. Secretary Business Club, ’23 Glee Club, ’21 Operetta, ’22 Freshman Chorus MARIE TRUELSON “Her gentle wit, she plies, to teach them truth.” Secretary Athenian Officer Clionian Senior Tattler Board, '23 Sigma Beta Scribblers’ Club Chorus, ’20, ’21 ■ SENIOR TATTLER BOARD Top Row: Cody, Rajala, Bell. Second Row: Miner, Barsky, Truelson, Mrs. Booth. Last Row: Calkins, Hilderbrand, Barton. Our Pear Tree LITERARY PROBLEMS FACING AMERICANS The U. S. has but recently emerged from the greatest of the World’s wars and now as a natural consequence finds itself confronted by problems which challenge our civilization to solve. War, although a destructive agency has caused the IT. S. to make very rapid progress in commercial and industrial lines. This advance was abnormally rapid and our people did not immediately adjust themselves to the new standards which were created. It is at such a time when many new problems have presented themselves and many old problems which have smoldered in the coals have burst into flames. It is an impossible task for me to present to you all the problems; to give the details and circumstances of each would be but vain effort. It is, however, a reasonable endeavor for me to present the most important problems to you with the desire that an interest will be created in your minds to examine further into the details of them and to form an opinion upon which you may act when an opportunity presents itself. There exists a racial problem today; June, 1!)2J THE TATTLER there exists a question about immigration. those who do our labor and those far beyond our shores present for us considerations almost beyond the power of imagination. The problem of the race is one of the most vital that has presented itself to the people of the U. S. recently. This is altogether natural. From the beginning of time the greatest of lniman problems has been the problem of race relationship. The Old Testament is a record of racial differences and racial struggles. Fifty years ago the U. S. was thrown into a great civil war by the Negro problem. Today we not only have the Negro problem but the Japanese and Chinese problem on the Pacific coast. In the Philippines we have a multitude of different races. One of the greatest problems that confront other nations of today is that of race relationships. Today in the U. S. there are 10,000,000 Negroes distributed among some 75,000,000 white people. This is a condition brought on by ourselves and for which we alone are responsible. Our own greed and laziness were the factors that brought the Negroes to this country. Out of this wrong grew the Civil War, and after that came a period of reconstruction. It is natural that there was a great bitterness in the minds of the southern people after such a strife. But how much greater must it have been when day by day they saw the cause of their sorrow, the Negro, on every hand. It is not to be wondered at then that a great wall has grown up between the two races. The laboring class of the south is made up of Negroes while the employers are white. Differences arising which we are accustomed to call capital and labor problems in the north became a racial problem in the south. At the close of the Civil war a great deal of political power was given to the Negro who was in no way fitted to use it to advantage. Russia exhibits a fair example of the result of placing the political power in the hands of such a class. When the white people of the south lost temporarily their political power the gap widened still farther. Another reason for the feeling in the south is that there are rarely other laboring classes with which to compare the Negroes. The south has not seen the offspring of poor laboring classes become the employers of the next generation. Though there is a great personal regard for the black mammy of the south, yet when a Negro tries to rise to higher positions he is met with hatred and bitter opposition on every hand. Because the Italian immigrant does the work of the Negro a colony iof them in Mississippi were treated as such. The Italians had a government to protect them which acted but the Negro is left to our mercy. A decided tendency also exists to charge to the Negro because he is a Negro, all the crimes which are unavoidably committed by any ignoi-ant poverty stricken people. Their crimes are no greater, no mor.e prevalent than those committed by the common immigrant class which makes up a large part of the population of our government. Yet violence to a negro by a mob is an occurrence that happens all too frequently. Though the negro is treated more as a man in the northern states and in the manufacturing centers of the south, yet the time when th industrial devlopment of the south raches that of the north will not solve the problem. It has not solved it in New York and Philadelphia where industrial development has reached its highest form. The prejudice there, has been growing more intense as the Negro population has increased. What then will happen? What is the answer ? There is a situation produced by the flow of peoples into the U. S. which is of serious concern to the American people. The greater part of the criminal class of our country is made up of immigrants. The immigrant has helped to make critical situations in labor conditions. Aside from being easily stirred up by strike agitation he 2 ; THE TATTLER June, 1923 lias lowered the laborer’s standards of living. The average wage of the immigrant in his own country is $1.50 per day. In our country his wage averages $2.00 per day. No American can live up to the American standard of living on this wage. So why should not American labor be protected from the immigrant as well as his employer’s goods from foreign goods? The greater part of the immigrants who come to this country are from the less desirable nationalities. Those coming from the northern European countries have proved to be the most industrious, more intelligent, and possessed of a greater respect for law than those coming from the countries about the Mediterranean Sea. The percentage of illiteracy among the Italian Immigrants who come to the U. S. is 37 per cent of that of the Swedes and Scandinavians is .02 per cent. Italy alone sends 1-4 of all the immigrants that enter the IT. S. This shows that there is a great task ahead of Americans to educate and assimilate the immigrants into our government. Especially so, since a large part comes from a class which is more difficult to be assimilated. The Chinese and Japanese have furnished a serious problem to our western coast states especialiv California. There are 300.000 Chinese and Japanese in the U. S., the largest part of whom are in California. Some laws have already been made to discourage the Chinese and Japanese immigration but there remains yet a great task to know what to do for the immigrants already here and what to do about those wishing to come. The labor problem which confronts America today is one which can not be fully understood until its history is known. When America was first settled each inhabitant was practically independent of the rest of the world as far as providing food and shelter for himself and his family was concerned. He made his own tools, raised his own food and manufactured his clothing. With the development of factories, this independence became reduced in proportion to the increase in factories until today everyone is dependent on others. The factory also created a new problem, the labor problem. There have been many improvements in labor conditions since factories were started, perhaps the most notable of which are the eight hour day, child labor law, the abolishment of sweat shops, the rise in wages of labor. These have been gained after many years of adjustment. Each has proved a great benefit to the country and they have greatly raised the Standards of American life. There are, however, a great many more adjustments that must be made. A delicate hand is needed for the task. In-as-much as the non-participating public is usually the greatest sufferer when these questions come to an issue, it should express a strong voice in settling these issues. Our international relations have also become a serious problem. When the L S. was established this was not a problem and the best policy seemed to be to let other nations alone and have them let us alone. At that time the affairs in the U. S. required the entire attention of its citizens. There were so many resources yet to be developed in the U. S. that no one thought to look to the other countries. Then also the U. S. was a small country, and did not have its present power so its influence was not so strongly felt by the other nations. This state of affairs continued down through the History of the United States, until the World War. The policy of leaving foreign countries alone was clearly expressed in the Monroe Doctrine. A strong spirit existed all through the United States favoring the Monroe Doctrine. But the rapid development in the last few years in devices of travel and communication have made international relations. Where formerly it required months of time to cross the Atlantic, Europe is now only about four days distant. Messages can be sent June, 1923 THE TATTLER 27 back and forth in a few seconds by wireless and by telegraph. From this we see that Europe, once a distant, remote country, hard to reach, has moved up to be our neighbor. If we were still to keep our policy of non-interference America would not have entered the World War. The necessity of doing this was clearly seen, however. Then with the close of the War came the problem of whether we were going to continue our relationship with the other nations. Our commercial needs required that we should continue this relationship! yet should we be willing to enter into entangling alliances for this reason ? Some say that with the end of the War only part of our duty to humanity was finished and that the countries of Europe needed our aid. Yet, on the other hand, would this interference aid these countries or help to make the gi’eat turmoil that is going on continually there greater. Of late a great deal of interest has been centered in China and India. Japan has shown the development of which these people are capable. China has a population of 385,500.000. India has a population of 294,361,000. The population of the United States is about 100,000,000. Now the possibility of these two countries suddenly developing higher civilization and progress is seen by the great leaders of today, especially since India has shown her desire to become independent. The result would be beyond our imagination. India and China with their great population would easily move the center of activities of the civilized World from the United States with her smaller population to the Far East. The great power and influence of the United States would become nothing as compared with theirs. And now, ladies and gentlemen, I have presented to you four of the greatest problems that confront America today. I have shown you why they are the greatest problems that face Americans but I have not given you a solution. I have given you an idea of the magnitude of each problem. It is apparent that a great duty falls to us to present a solution. Let us apply ourselves to a study of our situation in order that we may cope with it with an understanding which will bring success to our efforts and happiness to our people. AMERICAS HERITAGE No concourse of American Citizens can be held without more or less recognition of the fact that our American stock is the product of a fortunate mixture. To a man bred in another part of the world, the United States is a country of battling confusion; he cannot understand its solidity and its apparent fluidity, its deep-rooted political convictions and its apparent indifference to political forms; its essential conservatism and the rapid growth of radical ideas in its atmosphere. And these traits are the heritage bequeathed to us from forefathers of widely different national traits of character. The heritage of America came not from one country with its uniform characteristics, but was the result of the fusion of races. The Puritan strain in our American social life is too well known to need description. Personal independence, religious intensity, ethical earnestness mitigated by commercial activity—this strain has made its mark deep in the American Character and in our History. For this devout and cultured people established colleges and schools which lead in the educational life of our country. From the beginning, public life in the United States has been crowded with men of university education; the respect for education has deepened into a faith so intense that it has become almost a superstition, and both public and private funds flow with a kind of tidal movement to the support of education and the enrichment of its institutions. It is from these schools and this people that our early men of litei’ature have come with their 28 THE TATTLER June, 1923 clean and moral outlook upon life. And indirectly this people in their religious intensity gave us our freedom of worship for Puritanism went far before it exhausted itself. The fact must not be overlooked that New England Puritanism, built on the rock of Geneva, is the secure theological and philosophical foundation of which all that is distinctive in American life and culture has been built. This fact explains the detremination and energy of the American temperament. Devotion to duty for its own sake, and a determination to persevere to the end in any undertaking simply because it has been undertaken. are almost universal American characteristics which have come from Calvanistic teachings. Thus it may be seen that Puritanism built New England, and for nearly a hundred years New England powerfully influenced the United States and even now its ideals and its bequeathed characteristics are the richest gifts which have come to us from one people. Then we must consider these national traits which we have received from the sturdy Dutch, that race with an inborn ability for trade. The Dutch influence has not been so deep, but perhaps it has been broader. It was from the little country of Holland that the principles of free education and religious toleration came to America. Both of these are a vital part of our lives as citizens of this Republic. It was from the Dutch trader that we developed our shrewdness in commercial dealings. For along with our passion for liberty, though as a national ideal long bitterly decreed, has gone a passion for wealth. We also inherited from this nation a splendid vigor of character and a sense of leadership which has placed America foremost among nations. Yet Holland’s most precious gift was that of religious toleration though often coming through an Englishman, yet it showed the Dutch influence, for William Penn who demanded the same freedom for the consciences of others as he asked for his own, had a very devout Dutch mother. The French Pioneers, the Ilugenots-Protestant driven from France by a bigoted King added much to our social life for they bequeathed to us those qualities which were best developed in France. Matthew Arnold happily called this quality “the power of social life” and while not vitally influencing the life of these rugged colonists, it added a polish and lustre which was and is invaluable to us. And similar to those characteristics which we have from the French are those which came to us from the English Cavaliers. This strain of grace, of dignity, of amenity, with a sentiment of chivalry, and a feeling of national pride and honor permeating all our social life has been a force in consolidating the Republic. It was around the personal character of Washington that all the scattered forces of possible American citizenship first centered and crystallized. Without that great soldier-cavalier the Colonists hardly could have freed themselves, without that great citizen-cavalier the States never could have united themselves. The sources of American ideals are widely separated. There are the ideals and characteristics which have entered our lives from the Puritans whom James was persecuting, and those which have come from the Courtiers whom he patronized. Also those ideals which come from the Dutch with whom Charles was fighting; then the Covenanters whom he attempted to convert at a sword’s point added their best to our already gifted nation, and there were those ideals and principles which the French Iliigenots gave us. “Yet with all the differences of America’s ancestral stock, it has a common and undivided heritage of ancestral ideals. They are the fruits of that underlying unity of convictions, hopes and purposes which made our forefathers one people. A love of liberty strong enough to harmonize different ways of conceiving it; a reverence for the rights of humanity deep enough to reconcile different ways of defending it; and a faith in God high enough June, 1923 THE TATTLER 20 to make room at last for all modes of expressing it—these essential qualities of manhood make the American of today an embodiment of the best ideals and characteristics of all countries.” And the American has an inherited ideal of government, for the American believes profoundly in the system which rests the government on the broadest foundation of suffrage, which makes all men partners in the national enterprise, which exacts no special preparation of the man who takes part in public affairs, but believes in bolding the door wide, so that a man may start at the bottom of the social order and go to the top. Our political organization gives an education to the people of all classes in that political character of which political institu-t it ions are the vital expression. For the strength of a people issues from the political character behind their institutions, and the institutions are real and vital only in so far as they express that character. And we must now consider the ideal American for we as a nation do have an ideal of American manhood. He is of the same breed as Putnam, Madison, and Schuyler who were not aliens, yet come from a different stock, yet are of the same breed and while that kind of man lives it is possible to identify the ideal American. He is a clear-eyed, level-headed, straightforward, educated, self-respecting gentleman with frank manners, and firm convictions, and contrary to the opinion based on traditional ignorance of the American condition which is now slowly yielding to the pressure of knowledge, the American is very emotional and governed by sentiment. This is one of the qualities which reveal the ineradicable and controlling idealism which has been the dominating element in America since the first colonists braved the dangers of a new world for conscience’s sake. That idealism has not found adequate expression in art; but it has shaped American institutions. ‘‘The ideal of American Manhood, the ideal of American government, the ideal of American glory and influence— these three are the ancestral ideals that have been the strength and prosperity of our nation, and if the sacrifice of two of our ideals should be involved in the pressure of circustances, the American manhood will come to the rescue and make its power felt in restoring the other two.” Rheba L. MacFarland. CLASS WILL We, the Seniors of 1923, of Conneaut High School, City of Conneaut, State of Ohio, being unsound of mind and memory, and considering the uncertainty of this life, and being desirous of settling all our worldly affairs while we still have the strength and capacity to do so, do hereby make, publish and declare this to be our last will and testament. First, to the Juniors, our nearest relation, we bequeath our hereditary dignity and our perfect orderliness in class meetings; second, to the Sophs we bequeath our good looks and excellent manners; third, to the little Freshies we pass on our ability to cope with all difficulties. To the Faculty we leave nothing, because we believe they possess everything. 1, John Ahlberg, bequeath my frivolous nature to Ted Bales. I, Eino Alio, bequeath my meekness of spirit to Noble Crandall. I. Fred Allen, bequeath my laziness to Aleatha Webb, hoping she will not wear herself out trying to use it. I, Henry Renson, bequeath my restless, roving, wandering moods to Art Gouhling. My further instructions however, would be to notify everybody just where he intended to rove. I. Esther Bacon, bequeath mv position in the Conneaut Sugar Bowl to Wilbur Pinches. I, Homer Brewster, bequeath my ‘‘hard luck” to anybody that wants it. Please don’t crowd! I. Dorothy Bacon, leave my egotism with Norma Hammond and trust that it will not be abused. I. Eva Barsky, bequeath my honora- T1IE TATTLER June, 1923 30 ble position as keeper of the constitution of the PL B. C. C. (Eta Bita Candi Club) to Amy Horton, hoping she will promote the good work of this organization. I, Homer Barton, bequeath my title of “Beloved” to Maxwell Reffner. I, Mr. C. Dudley Bell, bequeath my unlimited Pie-Eating ability to Ilessie Ladner, and request that she remember that I once won the Marathon Pie-Eaters Championship. I, Flora Bromfield, give free of charge, my rickety-rackety Ford to Bob Nelson and I do hope he will take exceptionally good care of it, for the poor old thing has just about completed a life of selfishinent and service. We, Emily Gifford and Jackson Clark, bequeath our undying devotion for each other to Lucille Towne and Austin Tinker. I, Howard Calkins, grant to Howard West my parking space on Liberty street. To Bud Lamont I leave my speediness (automobiles, you understand) and sincerely hope his new Ford will not suffer any serious consequences.—Harold Cody. I, Elizabeth Cossitt, bequeath to Geraldine Blade my very apparent desire for masculine attention. To Ena Holcomb, I, Etta Clemens, bequeath my interest in Chemistry— er-er-er Teachers! To the High School Library I, Max Downer, bequeath ray Red Morocco Genuine Leather Bound 199 volumes. 67,513 pages, of blood-curdling, sidesplitting, hair-raising stories. I, Louis Harrow, bequeath my nickname of “Bones” to Trene Miller. I, Evangeline Fancher, bequeath my paint-box to Rozelia Linfoot and hope it will relieve her paleness. I, Dorotha Ferry, bequeath my love of dancing to Harold Swap. I, Edwin Ford willingly bequeath to Leo Means my frequent wild Crushes. 1, Charles Grace, bequeath to Bill Taylor my wonderful Radio Set. I, Gordon Green, bequeath my skill at Kelley Pool to Clarence Miller. To Duane Herrick, I, Laverne Green-man bequeath my photographic skill, and hope it helps him to become a second Work or Herron. I. Merle Griffey, leave to Gerry Carr my worries, especially on matters pertaining to the house. I, Leigh Griswold, give to Mary Sprague my framed Typewriting Certificate. To Charlotte Baker, I, Joseph Hermann, bequeath my everlasting grin and hope it will not hurt her face to use it. I, Hiram Hews, leave in the safe custody of Jimmie Smith, my endurance to stick in school. To Bernadine Mahoney, I. Leo Hines, bequeath my talent on the violin. To Kenneth Borden, I, Howard Huston, bequeath my patience and long suffering. I. Richard Hakanson, unselfishly give to Art Truelson, my straw hat and wish with all my heart and soul that it brings him the adoration of all the ladies as it lias me. 1, Clara Harvey, bequeath to the National Historical Society my complete alphabetically filed knowledge of my relations. I, Lucille Hilderbrand, bequeath my “Starry Eyes” to Borland Blackman. I. Alice Hill, bequeath to John Cherry my liking for Mrs. Booth. To Blanche Humble, I, Hilma Holko. bequeath my desire to become a lawyer. I, Harold Kaufmann. bequeath to Elarka Towne my infinite knowledge on all subjects. I, Waino Kohlemainen, bequeath to the school my framed motto, “If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.’’ To Earl Hankins I. William Kantola. bequeath my love of imitating Rudolph Valentino. I. Howard King, bequeath my vamp-ishness to Bob Andrews. I, Theodore Kultti, bequeath to Douglass Lyons my love for the Freshman Girls. I. Draxy Luse, bequeath to Edward Ellis my religion and mortality. To Tom McKenzie, I. Elizabeth Lee, bequeath my precious TJke. June, 1923 THE TATTLER 31 I. Reha MacFarland. bequeath my stock of stories (applicable to every occasion) to Merwvn Lininger. To Faye Carmichael, I. Marion McRae bequeath my quiet dignity and hope to see signs of improvement soon. I, Marie Miller, bequeath my social butterflyness to Edward Reeves. I. Truev Marshall, bequeath to Dorothy Huston, my height. I, Virginia Miner, leave my giggle with Pliny Roberts. (Please reserve it for use in Civics class.) To Kenneth Hale, I, Irene Montgomery, hand over my long walk to school each and every day, in the expectation that it will help him to recover his thinness. T, Helen Neil, bequeath to Helen IIo-gle, my regular attendance (every other week) at the East Conneaut dances. To Evelyn Cramer, I, Rudolph Or-mann. bequeath my power of debate. T, Marion O'Neil, bequeath my position as Miss Stanley’s favorite to— whoever is REALLY HER FAVORITE. We, Annabelle Cook and Loreta Parker, bequeath to Mary Leet and Ililma Kohlemainen, our good laugh together every day at the 9:51 period. T, Lydia Prahl. present my Ever-Ready blushes to Ann Richardson. I, Elizabeth Prescott, bequeath my secret for avoirdupois (never before in the history of the world published) to those of the so-called TOOTHPICK VARIETY. Oh ! Yes! about the secret. Well, it’s just eat, eat, eat candy. To Micky McMann, I bequeath my skill in baseball.—Robert Puffer. To Pauline Dunn, I, John Punkar bequeath my gold teeth. I, Margaret Reeves, ’bequeath my title, “Belle of the School,” to Elizabeth Rockwell. I, Lauri Rajala, give my gift of incessant chatter to Vera Frazier. I, Francis Rose, leave my love of gossip to Gertrude Hart. To Paul Murphy, I, Lempi Samppi, bequeath my sparkling black eye. My perfect spelling and very legible handwriting, I, John Slaughter, bequeath to Alice Sheehan. I, Gladys Speer, bequeath my studious habits to Albert O’Brien. Of course, I know he does not need them. To anybody that would have use for it, I, Ruth Spicer, leave my affection for Marguerite Stanberry. T. Otto Steele, bequeath my frequent “Hulls and “Whats’’ to Doc Watson. I, Lawrence Tappe, give my self-confidence to Mildred Myers. My book of complete 'instructions on mv latest coiffure. I, Engrid Toba-son, bequeath to Betty Dorman. I, Marie Truelson. beqtieath my favorite song, “My Buddy,” to Maxine Morgan. And last but not least, I, Neil Wood-worth, bequeath my rosy cheeks to Helen Armstrong, thus saving her the trouble of buying stuff for hers. Virginia Miner. PUTTING THE “SAFE” INTO SAFETY Jeremiah K. Jones, senior partner of the Jones-Newman Company, dealers in wholesale groceries, nearly died of shock when he entered his private office one morning. The safe had been cracked and the door of the safe stood open. Upon further investigation he found that the contents were gone. A thousand dollars in cash and twenty thousand in Liberty Bonds. On the door of the safe was fastened a nol which read thus: “If this safe had been equipped with a Haynes Automatic Radiotile Safety Device, I could not have cracked it. Advise your friends to buy them.” The Safe Cracker. Jones rushed to the telephone and called the Burns Detective Bureau. In ten minutes Detective Wilson arrived. “Looks like an advertising scheme. Some one trying to gain a lot of publicity by cracking safes. Fine idea but rather risky business,” was Wilson’s explanation of the situation. “Publicity be hanged ! If a company can’t gain publicity without cracking safes, then it is to be pitied.” raved the irate Jones. The only clue to be found was a 32 THE TATTLER June, 1923 handkerchief with the initials E. C. H. in one corner. “H is for Haynes. And, oh, yes, his initials are E. C., aren’t they Mr. Jones?’- questioned Wilson. At last they thought they had found suitable evidence but it was later discovered that Mr. Haynes had been in the office on the previous day, to see Mr. Newman about purchasing a “Haynes Automatic Radiotile Safety Device,” he had probably dropped it then. The Safe Cracker was not content with cracking this one safe but many safes met the same fate. To each safe a note like the on ound at Jones-Newmans, was fastened—all vTere signed “The Safe Cracker.” People began to believe that it really did pay the “Haynes Automatic Radiotile” to advertise, for every firm in town purchased a safety device. The robberies continued. A few months later the “Vulcan Safety Device Company” made its appearance. The sales of their device was not large until one morning the president of the Sea-Shore Farmers’ Bank found this note fastened to the door of the vault. “Remember that a word to the wise should be sufficient. The Haynes Automatic Radiotile Safety Device is a joke. It takes me two minutes to crack a safe equipped with one of them. “Put your ‘Safe’ into Safety. Buy a Vulcan. , “Thanks for the cash, I am going to school next year and can use it to good advantage.” “The Safe Cracker.” Lydia M. Prahl. FACING THE FUTURE With such problems, as those already mentioned by a previous speaker, confronting us today, we may well regard them as serious, for they are serious and demand our most attentive consideration. And yet when they are viewed in a different light, when a more optimistic view of them is taken and when certain probable solutions are of- fered for our approval, we may well hope and regard them as being solvable. Therefor, in dealing with the subject of “Facing the Future,” it is my intention to suggest a few such solutions, which under the right conditions and with the proper spirit of support, may aid in solving these weighty problems and so perhaps remove the possibility of there being obstacles to the future freedom and prosperity of our nation. In regard to the racial problem, the Negro probably needs the most consideration, not only because he was placed here by the selfish interests and greed of the white race, but also because for the most part even today he does not receive the respect and recognition due him. If he is to be properly assimilated into American life, and this is exactly what must happen if the problem is solved, then he must be Americanized or educated to the ideals of American life. Education and religion must be spread much more extensively. The Negro must be given his chance along these lines and above all we must regard him as a man, with rights and privileges equal to those of every white. When we stop to consider, that out of a comparatively few who have been Americanized in this way, 7,500 hold offices in the executive service of the nation, 20,000 others hold various offices in state and municiple service, 500,000 furnish votes which rule the nation and that over 40,000 churches and 200 private schools and colleges are supported by the Negro, then we realize the vast influence which education and religion exert in the Americanization of the Negro. The same is true of the Asiatic and European immigrant. Too often we look upon them as greedy and egotistic people, coming only for gain and as criminals dodging the justice of the law, when in reality the majority of them are a people seeking freedom from oppression, a people gifted in many different arts and skilled to some degree in different lines of labor, a people seeking the ideals and privileges which America offers. True there are many undesirables among them but we •I line, 1! 2:{ TIIK TATTLER have those among our own people and as much precaution as possible is taken under our present immigration laws to prevent this class from entering. Of course, they present a serious problem, for they must be assimilated into American life and here again education and religion along with the physical environment must be employed extensively and wisly to relieve the situation. New forces must be developed; old methods must be increasingly perfected, until the immigrant is made an active and working part of our nation and government. Social conditions in the U. S. also present another serious problem. The labor problem, for instance suddenly brought before our eyes during the last year also demand its share of consideration. The labor problem is nothing new; it has been existing for years and centuries in every civilized country on the globe. And it probably will continue to exist indefinitely to some degree, although we hope that it may become less of a problem as the future reveals itself. Tt is true there is no intoxicant, the effect of which mankind seems less able to resist, than power. Capital had it for many years and failed to keep within the restraints of wisdom and equity, labor had it for the past six years of unlimited demand for workers and became inefficient, extravagant and grasping, the producer had it during the war and with few exceptions gave free reign to his covetous desires, the consumer has it now and does not hesitate to use it. Yet, experience has shown that abuse of power reacts no less harmfully upon those that practice it than upon those who are subjected to it, and the people are beginning to realize it. They are beginning to realize that the Golden Rule must dominate every office and every factory and every farm, if there is to be honesty and honor among them. These views are the views of business men themselves, published in the “Manufactures Review” a Baltimore publication, and certainly offer something to think about. Labor can never do without capital, nor can capital do with- :i:i out labor and the sooner they work in harmony with each other, the safer the future of America will be, as far as the labor question is concerned. The European situation at present is exerting and in all probability will continue to exert a vast amount of influence upon America. Europe owes to our government ten billion dollars, and the American financial institutions, firms, and individuals sums estimated at from three to five billion dollars. At the same time our productive capacity has outrun our consuming capacity. Trade is not and cannot be a one sided affair. We must buy from Europe, invest in Europe and loan to Europe. Whatever re-establishes Europe’s consuming capacity, whatever tends to reestablish order and normal conditions of trade and productivity there, is of interest and advantage to us. Whatever retards Europe’s recovery, is of serious detriment to us and hinders our own prosperity. Not only from this standpoint but also from a moral standpoint, from a standpoint of friendliness and helpfulness, must America take a more active part in European conditions. American counsel and help has always been welcomed by other countries and is needed more today than ever before. These great problems could never have come into being under normal conditions, neither can they be fully settled under normal conditions. They can only be settled by efforts as great or greater than those destructive efforts which brought about such problems, and it is up to America, if she is to continue to demand the respect and recognition of former years, to do her share in the constructive work. Now in only touching upon these problems in a slight way, for it would take volumes to discuss them thoroughly, I have advocated the use of education and religion as the two most influential factors in settling them. Not education in the sense of schools, teachers, and books alone, although these play a very important part but education given with a sense of friendliness and helpfulness toward the other individual THE TATTLER .June, 1923 34 that lie may see and regard American life and ideals in the right light. Not religion, taken merely in the limited sense of the church and personal salvation but such religion as is shown in the spirit of brotherly love and charity, is the right religion toward which we as an American people should strive. With this view in mind, we the Class of 1923 sincerely hope that we may do our small part along this line in keeping the America of the Future, the country of freedom, prosperity, and happiness, for which we like to think of her and for which many of our forefathers so nobly sacrificed their lives. Eva Barsky. FATHER ANDRE’ Purple against a crimson sky the big boughs of tho holm-oak brooded silently, from afar a bell called the folk to evening prayer. The crimson lantern of a large low moon rose from a blue bay lit with silver foam. And distant murmuring rose as the hum from the Ilvbla beehive at sunset as over the crest of a hill the forms of the youths of the village appeared and close followed the maidens bearing the flowers wet with evening dew. They were the youths and maidens from Ran Jeronimo, a little village on the coast of Italy, nestled in a valley, its hills crowned with olive trees and through a deep forest laurel spread and gleamed in all its pink and white loveliness. As they came to the shore of the blue sea they gazed intently out over the bay which was formed by the two projecting arms of land. “Isabella.” cried a dark eyed youth, “do you see that sail out by the point? Doubtless that is the Cure’s boat.” “Antonio,” Isabella a pretty maiden of some few summers replied, “do you not know a sail from a cloud? Surely you are a fine fisherman.” Amid the laughter of his companions, Antonio walked toward the poplar grove which traced the curving line of the bay. Toward the end of the line was a single poplar marvelously thinned and like an unsheathed sword. An- tonio quickly climbed its slender trunk and, high above his companions, gazed out over the deep blue sea. “Hah, Isabella,” he cried, “you are wrong. It is the Father’s boat for I see him on the deck.” The band of folk hurried to the little wharf where the boat would eventually land, and in short order the occupants of San eronimo were present in person, all except poor blind Pietro whose littl grandson had ignominiously deserted his grandfather, and as Pietro tried to find his way to the harbor he bumped himself severely sot hat he was forced to rest upon a convenient doorway and content himself in scolding the absent child. The only other villager who was not present at the landing was the infant son of Marguerite Badendola, who announced his wrath and indignation to an unheeding heaven and violently kicked his heels against the sides of his crude little cradle. It was past sunset when the boat bearing the Priest landed, yet not a villager stirred from his post, until Father Andre and the young American nurse who was to take charge of the hospital had been escorted to their respective dwellings. The next morning as the sun rose (as it usually does) the Father called for Miss Smith, the young nurse, as they walked up to the quaint road that wound up the hill to the old hospital which gleamed white against the green of the olive trees and the darker background of the forest, they discussed the people who had met them at the landing the night before. Father Andre told her of the villagers and the queer little customs that she would have to observe in treating them. Father Andre stopped by a low grey wall covered high with roses riotous with color, stooping he pushed aside the leaves of a bush and disclosed a group of pansies with thin shrewdish faces, like old ladies talking over laces. “Miss Smith,” he said, “every person in San Jeronimo worships this place as if it were a shrine for here, the man who nursed the people who were dying of the plague fell ill with •June, 1923 THE TATTLER the dreaded sickness. He was an American traveling with his wife and son. When they came into the bay a barge smashed into their boat and she was thrown into the water—her body was never found. Her husband, Dr. Brown, never left San Jeronimo and their son was raised in this town although he studied medicine in New York. He is the head surgeon and doctor at the hospital on the hill. Dr. Brown saved the village of San Jeronimo from being devastated by the plague ten years ago by the isolation of those afflicted with it. It was on his daily trip to the hospital that he fell on this spot and died with the disease before anyone knew he was even ill. To our villagers he is the greatest man that ever lived and his son Richard is held to be the wisest doctor in the country so much do our people love him. Miss Smith, you will never have any difficulty in your work under him for he has made it a habit to encourage the nurses in his hospital to live and enjoy life while training.” ‘‘Thank you, Father, I shall remember what you have told me. Surely I shall live my work here and already I am fascinated with the quaint unhurried little village. Do I go straight on this road to reach the hospital?” So speaking, she turned and walked up the little road that led to the building. As the Father watched the young nurse walk up the hill he pondered over the similarity of the expression that passed over her face and the ones he remembered of his brother who had gone to sea so many years before and who had never returned to Italy. He sighed and turned and gazed at the sea rolling against the projecting arms of the land. Surely the brother would come back to him for now he was getting old and the sight of a brother meant more to the Father than more luxurious pleasures. He stooped and straightened the flowers that had been beaten by the rain and as he was working he heard hurried footsteps, he straightened and saw Dr. Brown coming toward him. “My son,” began the kindly old Cure, “did you see Miss—” “Yes, yes, Father, I passed her walking up the hill. Father Andre, I have found a case of plague this morning. It was the soldier who was transferred from Lecce. I told you he had a bad fever and this morning he was worse and we discovered it was the Bubonic. I shall have to quarantine the village for a while and would you come and help take care of the poor fellows who are so frightened that they hinder the nurses from doing their work? We shall have to move all the patients to the smaller buildings and keep it down by isolating the cases.” The Doctors’ face was pale for twice before the plague had visited the city and twice he had seen the strongest men of the village buried with the unceremonious haste of fear. Quickly the two men walked to the hospital and as they entered the long ward. Father Andre saw Carol Smith working among the sick and he looked at the Doctor gravely for now Carol could not leave the hospital and seldom did nurses recover or escape the dreaded plague. Dr. Brown looked intently at the new nurse and an expression of pain passed over his face, the Cure looked at him for a moment and then turned to the nurse. “Miss Smith,” he said, “this is Dr. Brown, the head surgeon of the hospital. It is to be regretted that you have come when this disease is raging here, for it may prove more serious than we expect.” “But, Father, that is my business and I shall not go because there will be need of all the nurses and assistants that can be procured.” For months the plague devastated the countryside, men and women died under most horrible conditions, and yet it never had been so lightly felt in San Jeronimo. The man from Lecce had been isolated and when he died only the Cure and the Doctor had been in attendance. One other case had appeared but by placing him in the hospital away from the other patients the disease was retarded and a strict watch was kept for the sign of another case. THE TATTLER Jane, 1923 36 One day Dr. Brown and the Cure and Carol cleaned the hospital. They worked until sunset scrubbing and cleaning the wards. After they had finished the work Carol walked down the hill to the grave of Dr. Brown. The flowers had died from neglect for the grave was the line of prohibition and no villager could walk beyond it while the plague raged in the hospital. She bent and straightened the flowers that were still left and weeded the little bed of pansies which were struggling for breath and life. When she had finished the work and had started back up the hill, she met Dr. Brown who hail set out to meet her. “Miss Smith, do you mind if I ask you a rather personal question? Did you by any chance know a man named Achille Bartolomi? lie was the brother of the Cure and ran away one night. He has never been heard of since and yet when I look into your eyes I see the same expression that the Cure has when he gazed out over the sea. There is a slight facial likeness, something about the eyes and mouth that is very like the Cure.” “Dr. Brown,” Carol said in reply, “I am Carol Bartolomi and my father was Achille. When I was but a child my father was drowned in the sea and my mother, a French woman, married a man named Smith. Though I was never adopted, yet, I have always gone by that name. Could it be possible that the Father is my uncle, still he does look like my father at times. We must go back and tell him that which we have found out.” As they were nearing the gateway of the hospital an orderly rushed out to meet them. Cold fear was portrayed on his face and his hands shook with excitement. “Father Andre had the fever. He is on the floor of the office and is burning with a temperature.” And no sooner had he made this announcement than the quaking orderly rushed off to the other ward to tell the horrible tidings. Dr. Brown and Carol hastened to the office where they found the. Cure, who still conscious was fast losing the rational light in his eyes. After they had placed him on a couch they told him that Carol was the daughter of his lost brother and though he could not touch her his eyes spoke only too plainly the love that he held for the child that came to him when he was dying. He asked to be carried to the window where he could see the blue water of the bay and as they placed him in the chair by the window his head fell back on the cushion and looking up at Dr. Brown said, “My son, you will take care of her for my sake, will you not? For soon I shall go to join the stars in the trembling skies. Oh, may it be a blue night with a white moon, and a sprinkling of stars o’er the cedar trees and the silence of God and the low call of a lone bird, when I drift out on the silver sea.” A ROMANCE OF ROMANY The dull thump, thump of the weary horses could be heard beating the dusty roads along a secluded spot of the Ohio valley. At each tread a pang of sickish torture was branded into the already exhausted heasts and at intervals a sharp crack urged the horses to continue up the burning hot hill. The weird dark shadows of night aided by the brilliancy of the moon danced wildly upon the struggling little Gypsy caravan. The scorching heat of early September, falling heavily upon the occupants of the van terpidized the whole earth. All nature was asleep and even the creaking of the frogs was low and indistinct. The stillness was broken only by the soft melodious echoes of guitar strings played by an enthusiastic young Gypsy who accompanied it with his deep baritone voice. The intense heat and the strains of the guitar cast a strange stupor over all the passengers excepting one little Romany dancer who was crouched in the last coach. She sat with her legs crossed and her arms folded over her knees. Her black piercing eyes searched into the darkness and her white lips were quivering. Her deep olive complexion looked pale June, 1923 THE TATTLER 37 in the moonlight and paler still enveloped by an abundance of blue-black hair which formed a thick braid over each shoulder. .Her eyes were clouded with tears which she forced back under the menacing finger of a large drowsy Gypsy who clinched between her teeth a long brown pipe at which she puffed occasionally. The strong odor of the herb combined with the increasing volume of the guitar seemed to make the little dancer, Anahae, even more restless. Suddenly she sprang to her feet with such quickness that it seemed the un-forseen object for which she appeared to be seeking in the darkness had at last become wholly visible and had flung itself at her feet. Her eyes were clear, now but her momentary passion passed as quickly as it had come. She rested her body against a pole supporting the van and unconsciously inhaled deeply a tiny gush of wind that swept past her face. The enchanting strains of the guitar spelled only death to her, the baritone voice was only a song of deatht the moon and stars were bewitched as well as the air, the trees and the shadows. “Oh God!’’ she murmured as she clung violently to the pole, “he mustn't, he can’t die! Save him, he’s innocent!’’ “Lay down there!” a voice growled at her feet, “Wcila! won’t you lay down and go to sleep?” Anahae whirled about and as though struck with a missile crouched to her feet. The guitar strains became more soft and deathly. Even the baritone voice could no longer sing in the distressing heat and only the dying strains of the instrument could be heard. Again Anahae was seized with turbulent passion. She could stand the suspense no longer. The pipe had fallen from the driveling mouth of the Gypsy woman and Anahae knew that she was asleep. She crept slowly to the edge of the van and was about to slip off the end when the horses, startled by a sudden crack of the whip, jerked forward tumultuously, throwing Anahae to the ground. Her head struck a sharp pointed rock and everything was black. In the beautiful home of Detective Harold Whitherspoon in the outskirts f Cincinnati, Mrs. Whitherspoon sat patiently awaiting the arrival of her husband and daughter, Shirley. Mrs. Whitherspoon was known among social circles as being the sweet little woman who was always so willing to untangle someone else’s troublesome affairs. As she sat in the large drawing room near an entrance to an open terrace, she began to feel restless and looked at the clock frequently. “Bob,” addressing her young son who was engaged in unraveling Caesar's Gallic wars in the opposite corner of the room, “I wonder why Shirley is so late. She told me that she expected to be home by eight-thirty and it is nearly eleven now. Bob! why can’t you do your studying earlier?” “Gallia est emnis divisa inpartes tres,” murmured Bob, “Gaul is all divided into parts three, -er-what did you say mother? Say! who was that gink Sis was with tonight? Gee! he’s got a swell Marman sedan. “Heavens, Bob! don’t use such slang. What is this world coming to? Truly, you must have been mistaken. Shirley said she was going over to Helen’s for dinner. Are you sure vou saw her Bob?” “Honest to goodness, Ma. They stopped down town and I went right past the car.” “Bob! please don’t call me Ma. It sounds so vulgar. Really I can’t understand it and your father should have been home three hours ago. Hush! I believe he is coming now.” As Mr. Whitherspoon came into the house he grew more perturbed. “I must compose myself.” he murmured. “She must know. The shock is terrible, I have witnessed horrible scenes but 1 never thought that my own family would be involved in such an unsightly deed. Oh, God, help me bear it! I must be calm.” He came in by the side terrace and seated himself heavily upon a large cushioned divan. “Bob,” THE TATTLER June, 1!)2:5 38 he began, “please go to bed. I have something to tell your mother.’’ “Yes, father dear,’’ from Bob, “Gosh, I can’t never hear anything,” to himself, “By gum! I’ll listen. The servants are all gone to bed so I’m safe.” “Where’s daughter, Jane?’’ asked Mr. Whitherspoon anxiously. “Why, Harold, I’ve been dreadfully worried. Shirley said she was going over to Helen Fanning’s for dinner and she isn’t home yet. Hubby! you look so worried. What is the matter?” Mr. Whitherspoon sighed deeply and explained. “Tonight when I was coming home, about eight o’clock I drove past the Twelfth Street cafe. It looked somewhat hilarious inside so I thought I’d stop and see that nothing very ser-ioTis would happen. There have been many complaints about the cafe but they simply won’t obey orders. I seated myself in one of the booths, pushed the curtains partly together and oi’der-ed a lunch. The orchestra started to play and a beautiful little Gypsy girl entered the dining room and started to dance. She was an enchanting little dancer and for a while every one held their breath. Soon her dancing ceased and she went to the different booths for money.” Mr Whitherspoon stopped long enough to wipe his perspiring forehead and continued. “In a short time I noticed a little disturbance in a booth opposite mine. A gentleman who had been heavily dritiking was greatly engrossed with the dancer. He was forcing her to kiss him and she was struggling to get away. Everyone in the cafe was dead drunk and they thought it was great sport. I was just going to interfere when a tall, dark, well-groomed man, a Gypsy who was with the dancer, approached the man with a gun. A controversy followed between them and I had just reached the scene when a gun was fired. Instantly a girl who was in the booth with the man slipped out from behind the curtain and hurried out the door.’’ “Yes, yes, go on,” urged Mrs. Whitherspoon beginning to feel thrilled. “With a shriek of agony the man fell to the floor and the Gypsy stood over him bewildered and puzzled. I seized the Gypsy and showed him my badge. A surgeon was called and- the man examined. The bullet was lodged very near his lungs. After a brief operation the bullet was removed which the doctor handed to me and which I immediately tucked in my pocket. The man was pronounced in a serious condition and rushed to the hospital. I handcuffed the Gypsy and started for the door when the little girl threw her arms about the man and showered him with kisses declaring that he was innocent.” “Why didn’t you show her the bullet and compare it with those in the gun? asked Mrs Whitherspoon, proud of her bit of shrewdness which she had learned from her husband. “Here is the reason,” answered her husband, painfully. “The Gypsy is innocent. I noticed immediately that the bullet was far smaller than the ones which his gun would contain and the murderer was the girl who had escaped from the booth.” “Why didn’t you arrest her?” asked Mrs. Whitherspoon, growing more excited. “Because, oh, .Jane! I can hardly say it—the girl was our daughter.” “Oh! shrieked Mrs. Whitherspoon as she rose to her feet and fell back in a dead faint. Bob rushed into the room and went to his father. “Is it true, did Shirley shoot him? Oh. excuse me for listening, but maybe I can help.” “Hurry, Bob! awaken Maud and have her come down to your mother. I’m going over to Helen s. Maybe Shirley returned there.” Bob immediately awoke the servant who hurried to Mrs. Whitherspoon’s assistance. Detective Whitherspoon quickly ordered his own car to be brought to him and was soon speeding to the home of Helen Fanning’s who lived five miles east of their suburban home. It was the same hot, stifling night that we met the little Gypsy caravan. Whitherspoon held his gaze directed on June, 1923 THE TATTLER the dusty roads which glared with the light of his machine. When lie had gone about three and a half miles his gaze fell upon an object lying at the side of the road and which he thought resembled a human figure. As he approached the object, it materialized into the form of a girl. He immediately stopped the car and hastened to her. As lie bent over her and touched the soft surah silk of a dancing gown, he was horrified as he recognized the same beautiful little Gypsy whose romantic heart he had just broken by easting her enamored lover into prison to shield his own daughter. The fact that she was alive-was ascertained by a low moan of agony coming from her blue quivering lips. But from a deep gash in her head he knew that' she was very close to death. Mr. Whitherspoon knew that this girl had full knowledge of her lover’s innocence. He knew that if she were dead at this moment that there would be little chance for any prosecution of his own daughter. He knew that it was in his power to kill her and yet appear innocent of any guilt. Whither-spoon. in his weary life of a detective had grown cold and feelingless to the sufferings of others beyond his immediate family and the death of this girl meant only one death in millions to him. As the huge body of the detective bent over the defenceless and almost lifeless body of the girl, his hands seem staid by some power not under his control. His very limbs were benumbed and his mind swayed. He would not kill her! He would not leave her there to die. If his daughter were guilty she would get the full penalty of the law. So, tenderly he lifted the girl and placed her in his ear. He tied his handkerchief about her head and sped back to his home. He immediately noticed that everything was in confusion and realized that his daughter had returned. He carried the little Gypsy into the house and layed her on the divan. “Bob, quick!” ordered Mr. Whither-snoon. “Phone Dr. Pendlecost and tell him to come at once!” Whitherspoon sat at the foot of the 3!) divan and watched fervently the slow unsteady breathing of the girl. When the doctor arrived and pronounced the girl in a very bad but not serious condition the detective left him to dress her wound and went to his daughter’s room. He found her pacing the floor with a haggard worn-out exhausted expression on her face. “Father! I’ve wanted to talk to you so badly. I simply couldn’t tell mother. Let me explain!” Her father sat down and begged her to proceed. “This afternoon I told mother that I was going over to Helen’s for dinner. The day was beautiful and I decided to hike it,” she said between sobs. “I had walked about three miles when somebody threw a sack over my head. A bottle was pressed to my nose and T couldn’t remember a thing after that until late at night I was being hurried along for miles in a closed car. The next I knew I was almost dragged into a cafe and forced to drink wine. However the spell of the gas or chloroform which I imagine had been given me was gradually leaving and my mind became clearer. I realized my position and was horrified. My abductor was becoming very drunk and was forcing a girl to kiss him. Soon another man came over and tried to stop him. A fight followed and the men were very near me. Although my abductor was the weaker of the two from drinking, he seemed to have a better knowledge of fighting than the other. I noticed his hand coming close to the eyes of the other. The sight was dreadful! I suddenly remembered the pistol in my poeket which had been miraculously overlooked due to its concealment. “Again my head began to whirl and instinctively I shot the brute. In a second I realized the crime and rushed for the door. When I saw you there, I wanted to run faster. I wanted to get away from everybody. Father, I was mad!” Here Shirley burst into sobs and could speak no more. Mr. Whitherspoon tenderly put his arms about his daughter and said caressingly: “Darling, you are not to blame. He is a dangerous cad and is 40 THE TATTLER June, 1923 not worth living. Don’t worry, the ease will be easy even if lie is dead. Wait just a moment. A few minutes later he returned bearing the news that the man was living and was already under arrest for being the probable committer of several crimes which were not yet cleared. Whitherspoon persuaded his daughter to go to bed and rest. He went to reassure his wife. A week later Anahae and her Gypsy lover were walking arm in arm down the same dust beaten road of the Ohio valley. But the air was not as stifling and the birds were beginning to sing their last farewells. The eyes of both spoke eternal love and away off in the distance they could faintly see a Gypsy caravan slowly creeping along a road parallel to theirs. It brought back the deathly night of the previous week to Anahae. She shuddered as she rested her head on her lover’s shoulder. “It’s hard T know, Anahae, to leave them,’’ he said as he clasped his arms about her and held her in a long embrace. “We’ll always be Gypsies at heart but we’ll give up the old ways forever. ’ ’ “It wasn’t longing for them,” she whispered in his ear. “It was simply a joyous anticipation of a life which no one of true Romany blood shall ever know.” Eva Barsky. DOUBLE’S DOUBLE Bill an’ me was comparing notes in the back room of Bill’s hash joint. “Now you know,” I says to Bill, (Bill, lie’s my double) “there was two cops and a bank director here to eat the night I cracked the Trust Company’s safe. Well, the trial comes off next week. You can have that ten thousand dollar bail when you prove your alibi.” I says goodnight to Bill and Bill went down cellar and made himself scarce until I got two or tln’ee blocks away. It ain’t safe for two Pete Wayne’s to be seen at once in Cleveland. I had picked Bill up about a year before when I first got out of the pen. 1 found him chauffeuring for a rich old guy in Detroit and I was some surprised when I saw him. Nobody in the world could tell me from him, we look so much alike. And talk just alike too. So 1 sets Bill up in business in a beanery right down on Euclid and after that his name was the same as mine, “Hon. Pete Wayne,” Reformed Safe Cracker. He did a good business, in eats, I mean, because I had lots of capital left from that Chicago job when I landed in the Pen. Well, the cops and sleuths was all up to my game and it was right handy to have a Pete Wayne selling corn beef to a couple of cops, while I did a neat job right in the same town. Of course it looked like my job and the sleuths would come over to Bill’s joint, but Bill’s got the whole police force to swear to his alibi. We looked so near alike that even Kate Hogan couldn’t tell us apart. We was both wild over her and she was the only thing we ever had words over. Bill said if T married her he would throw the whole game an’ I asked him how in thunder he could prove he wasn’t me when his own ma couldn’t tell us apart. I guess that scared him some. Of course, Kate couldn’t tell us apart an’ one of us was just as good as the other to her. Well after I had left Bill’s joint that night and come along to the drug store where Kate worked, out she came crying like her poor heart was busted. When she saw me she fell right into my arms. “What’s the matter, Kate?” I asks. “I got fired.” says she. “Just for sell-in’ some poor bonehead the wrong kind of a cigar that made him so sick. Oh! Bo! Ho! Ho!” “Oh, cheer up,” says I and I half carried her to a taxi on the corner. I took her to the park and we found the most wonderful seat back among the trees near a little water falls. And the summer moon was looking down on us and the crickets and locusts was a chirpin’ and a callin’ and the tears in Kate’s eyes was like the rjpples in the brook. Oh, I wondered what Bill June, 1!)23 TIIK TATTLER 41 would think if he knew where I was! What a wonderful night to propose. “Will you marry me, dearest?” I asks her. “Why of course, darling, didn’t I tell you I would last night when you proposed to me?” said she so sweetly. ‘ For the love o ’ —you! ” I was going to say “love of mike,” for it must have been Bill who proposed to her. I didn’t tell her so though. Then 1 saw that flashing diamond that Bill must have paid a hundred bucks for. “Won’t you kiss me dearest?” she asks me. “Oh, with pleasure,” says I, and with pleasure it would have been but for a couple of lovesick rubes who sat on another bench and had to spoil it all. “Let's elope,” says she. “My sister doesn't want me to marry you.” “That suits me,” I says, “Let’s clear out.” Kate and me got married and settled down to live happily ever afterward in Los Angeles. One evening we were walking down the street and we passed a beanery that took my eye. “Let’s eat here,” says Kate. “It looks like the one you used to run in Cleveland.” “It does to be sure,” I says. So we went in and ordered a regular old humdinger, cornbeef and all, like Bill used to serve. Then who should I see coming in the door but Bill and Kate. But Kate was sitting opposite me at our table. Bill noticed us and came over. “For the love of Mike,” I says to Kate, “Who is that girl?” “Why,” says she, “that’s my twin sister Kit, who you thought was me half the time back in Cleveland. But tell me who that man is that I thought was you at first.” Just give him back his ring, please,” says I. Max Downer. “BEACON LIGHTS” The achievements of a man, his struggles, his joys, may be written in words, but his personality itself is something, that no terms of human speech can describe or portray perfectly. It seems to elude reproduction and yet it is that which shines through the pages of history and leaves its marked influence and inspiration upon the lives of many. The first men, who rise to our minds when we think of the illuminations of history are our three great presidents—Washington, Lincoln and Roosevelt, all of whom though varied in personality, temperament, and method, share the same basic gift—virtue, vision, faith, courage, patience and human sympathy. All hold our reverent admiration. Washington, pure in his private character, unselfish in his patriotism, supreme in his moral strength, majestic in his appearance, stands out as one of our greatest Americans. His character, his perseverance and his generalship achieved American independence; then, his patience, common sense and good judgment enabled him to reconcile the discordant elements, removing the conflicts that stood in the way of national life in the New States. He molded them together under the Constitution, planting that seed that was to create the life of the world’s greatest nation. He was the guiding spirit of our nation. He was first in peace, first in war and first in the hearts of his country-men as he has always been proclaimed by the American people. Let us turn to Lincoln—Lincoln’s character and his work must be for all time inspiring to Americans as one of the highest examples our country has produced. His fine fidelity to the American ideals would alone place him within our highest affection and reverent regard. He truly is an example to American youth as Lowell says: “The cause of democracy is the cause of humanity. It concerns itself with the welfare of the average man. Lincoln was its finest product.” 42 TIIE TATTLER June, 1923 “In life, he was it's noblest champion. In death, he became its saint. His tomb is now its shrine. His country’s cause for which he lived and died, has now become, the cause of all the world. It is more than half a century since his countrymen with heads bowed, bore him to his grave. And still his pitiless logic for the right, his serene faith in God and man are the surest weapons with which democracy, humanity, and righteousness now fight their ancient foe—Lincoln’s spirit still walks the earth. Ilis life remains the greatest resource to the forces fighting for freedom and righteousness throughout the world.’’ Then Roosevelt—the high-minded American citizen, of whom all other American citizens should he proud. He was a promoter of good government with high ideals of public virtue and public duty, and by his own example showed that public office is a public trust and public service is both an honor and an opportunity. His earnestness, self-forgetfulness, fortitude, patriotism, love for humanity, broad-mindedness, and his practice of American idealism will forever enshrine him in our hearts as one of the lights of history. We can not fail to mention Hamilton the “Master Builder of Our Nation,’’ with the name of the “Father of Our Country.” Hamilton alone caught the inspiration of Washington, and together they prayed and strove to cement the Union of the Staten. He set down bases upon which the country ultimately was to develop economically and industrially. His passion was always to promote self reliant nationalism. Hamilton laid the foundation of finance, which has stood the test and stands unimpaired. He created the “National Bank”—which unified the moneyed interests of the country in one common enterprise for the advantage of the public credit and the facility of trade. He was the Founder of American Credit, the Architect of Policies and Institution. the Inspired Oracle of sound Americanism, The Great Economist, the most fascinating Orator and Author of his time. Benjamin Franklin, another great Revolutionist, stands first as a philosopher among the scientists of his day. Aside from his genius, his peculiar charm and calm dignity endeared him to 'the hearts of his friends. Franklin accepted the Bible as the safest guide of human conduct. His scientific contributions alone obtain for him a foremost place, but, his wisdom, insight, humor, generosity and kindliness leave their influence upon America. Along with him stands Edison, a man, who added more to the material elements of civilization by his own inventions than any other man in the history of 'the world. He has demonstrated that inventive genius can be turned to a nobler and better purpose than the mere making of money. How much life has been made brighter and sweeter for hundreds of millions of human beings through his many inventions. However, Edison’s greatness is a clean greatness. He has worked for what he has won and everything that he has done has been in the direction of making this a better world for mankind to dwell in. In the realm of literature, Washington Irving seems to be the most outstanding figure, and his success along that line laid a broad foundation for all subsequent artistic writing in America. He was first to reveal America as a land of legend and romance. His x’emarkable discoveries of literary material have been used by writers all over the world. Ilis charm, naturalness, clearness, melody of sentence, unmistakable refinement, love of romance and sentiment not only make him the companion of an idle hour, but show the great influence he exerted at the beginning of our national literature. With him stands Longfellow, the poet, whose appeal to the heart and conscience, understanding of the American home, deep sympathy, and simplicity June, 1923 THE TATTLER •43 make him the best beloved of our poets. The greatest honor bestowed upon him is that children delight in his poetry and celebrate his birthday. We honor him as “our house-hold poet.” England has placed his bust in her hall of fame—and few indeed are the nations which have not been touched or influenced by the strange appeal of his poetry. In the suffering and sorrow of the world, Jane Adda my shines out as the greatest beacon light to God’s unfortunate. Her life has been an example to many. Her work lias laid the development of all social service work in this country. She stands first as America’s greatest personal impulse to social service. While others have interpreted the life and condition of the poor, she has interpreted the mind and spiritual position of the poor. One of the most illuminating personalities that has ever left its mark upon this world is Phillips Brooks. He chose 'the work of preaching for the expression of his personality, and we have only to regard the effect of his influence to place him among the foremost. He rose up and presented a living proof of his belief that all men would be touched and stirred by the utterance of the spiritual truth. He lost part of his power when his voice was silenced and his personality removed but as a teacher of the truth his influence can not wholly die. For he passes on to others some of the spirit that was in him. When the torch of a great life is extinguished, it at first seems that little more than a spark will remain, but which as the years roll on grows brighter and brighter. But no matter how flickering a light it may be, it shines upon the pathways of this gray, old, world brightening and encouraging the hearts of toil-worn men, and illuminates the road to higher inspirations and nobler thoughts. Lucille Hilderbrand. CLASS HISTORY St. Peter’s Verdicts. Before going into minute discussion upon each of the seventy distinguished members of our honorable graduating class, thirty-four (34) of whom are boys—the remaining being girls, of course, we must first announce to the universe the preeminence of our class above other classes. This is truly the legitimate truth and an accepted fact, the verification of which is proven by the resignation of our most esteemed principal, Miss Kahler� and practically the whole morning school faculty at the graduation of our class. What is better proof? Then the perplexing question arises: What merits constitute such superiority ? To begin with when we first entered the High school as pure, innocent, immaculate freshmen, the accustomed shade of green which we were duped into believing rightfully belonged to us. was softened by the gentle blush of crimson. We began to distinguish ourselves very early in our career, as well as later years in athletics, scholarship, the musical world, and debate. Out of the one hundred thirty six (136) people who entered High school in 1919, after a certain natural process of elimination, seventy (70) of us have been able to overcome the obstacles and indiscretions of our instructors. Especially astounding is the fact that out of these seventy, fifty have been able to complete their work in four years, and a large part of the remaining entered the mid-year before the fall session of T9, thus excluding them from the list of “strays.” In order to secure a history of this very noble class, we must consult a person of good authority and accurate knowledge. What, then, would be more fitting than to enter the realms of heaven and have St. Peter predict our destinations as well as disclosing our renowned and erroneous deeds. To make possible such a performance, we must first go through the unpleasant process of leaving temporarily this sphere of life and entering into the 11 THE TATTLER June, 1923 spiritual world. This being done, to consume the twenty-four hours alloted the spirits to remain upon the earth, our president called a final meeting of the souls and with the aid of our advisor. Mrs. Booth, he was at last able to secure peace and quiet. After a short business session, a social meeting was enjoyed during which time quantities of apple pies were heartily devoured and the game of three-deep enjoyed for the remaining hours. At the appointed time a messenger of the gods was sent to us shrieking at the top of his voice, “Next! We, persuaded Edwin Ford to go first, he being the distinguished representative of our class and of such character as to be a fine example for the rest of us. Edwin entered the gate of St. Peter and beheld that person garbed in a dark blue suit decorated with bright brass buttons. “Ah, St. Peter, entreated Edwin. “My fame in High school was boundless. Two years have I served as president of mv class. T have supported the school with the utmost enthusiasm and in spite of my many duties, I have been a loyal partaker in sport activities and very successfully played the part of ‘John’ in the Senior play. “But, my dear boy, said St. Peter, thoughtfully scratching his head. “Thou hast not yet redeemed thyself for the unpardonable sin of falling in love with a member of tlve faculty, Ite Oreo! Next! Max Downer and Henry Benson begged to be the next to learn their fate and through their powers of argumentation, especially displayed in Civics class on the question of the “dark horse,” St. Peter resignedly admitted them into heaven. Reba MacFarland, our salutatorian, next stumbled upon the stairs to St. Peter. “Miss MacFarland, thou art a very fast girl. Many is the time when thy speedy tongue, while translating Virgil, has even astounded thy Latin teacher. Go to thy cousin among the shades of Pluto. Emily Gifford and Jackson Clark revived the good old days by appearing before St. Peter in the little old Ford, room ’nuff for two. And we just bet that it was Emily’s bewitching giggle which softened the heart of the mighty judge and permitted them to pass in. Or maybe it was Jackson’s shy blush ? Next Etta Clemens with all her bewitching allurement, using all her skillful manners of enticement completely vamped St. Peter into compelling her to sit beside him in the ethereal heavens forever. Behold! Look! What is this dashing through the clouds? Everything is black! Thunder! Lightening! Soon the spontaneous outburst was disclosed and Dudley Bell, holding a star in each hand which he had snatched on his way up, stood enraged before St. Peter. “What in the name of Anchises am 1 doing here? I put my application in the other place. Gimme a passport. Pete! My life has been black. I have been an object of torment to all the members of the faculty. Dismiss me at once!” “Thou art a truthful lad, said St. Peter laughing hysterically. ‘But a little nonsense now and then is relished by the. wisest men. Thou has been a loyal member of the Tattler staff. Thy services as a librarian have been indispensable. As a pitcher thou art a great comfort to thy team. As ‘Bobbie in the senior play, thou wer’t unsurpassable. Thou mayest take the chosen seat beside my Lord.” Submissively Dudley took the golden harp handed to him and entered the gates of heaven playing “Nobody knows how dry T am. Next Howard Calkins—The culmination of success, our most deserving valedictorian, the manager and editor-in-chief of the Senior tattler, our star debater, Miss Peck’s future president, and “Jimmy, entering into the lives and hearts of everyone—stood before St. Peter with all the grace and dignity of an orator. ’ “Enter said St. Peter, bowing low before his majesty. Soon a puffing and a panting followed by a deep groan of relief was audible and Gordon Green stood before June, 1923 THE TATTLER 45 St. Peter wiping his perspiring brow. ITe missed connections on his ascending journey and the poor fellow was wholly exhausted. But he can he forgiven for that because we know that Green always did have a peculiar habit of missing connections, (especially with graduating classes). However his fame in football, in the earth’s last revolution was widely renowned. Nevertheless, St. Peter decreed that he go to the underworld because of his superfluous weight was sadly in need of the exercise which the return trip afforded. Next came our four friends, Evan-gline Fancher, Otto Steel, Hiram Hews and Robert Puffer. Who were more deserving than they of their diplomas? They worked long and industriously for them and for this reason Peter ordained everlasting sunshine and golden stairs. Then Virginia Miner and Lydia Prahl, our two golden-haired beauties winked slyly through the pickets of the gate at St. Peter and begged entrance. ‘‘Thou art fine lassies,” he said smiling. ‘‘The literary ability of both of thee is excellent but in these realms there is no opportunity for indulging in the sport of rolling down earthly embankments. Descend!” PI inking violently upon a banjo came ITomer Carlyle Barton. ‘‘Thy mother surely must have had great anticipations for thee at thy birth but if she had forseen thine oratorical and debating powers she would have fittingly added William Jennings Bryan to thine name. Replace thy banjo for a harp and join thy fellow associate. Mr Bell.” Then in line was Lauri Rajala, the well-known interpreter of “The Dancing Fool.” Verily, being tired, he could dance still. “Come, dance among the angels,” Peter said opening very wide the golden gate. “But, nay, thou cans’t not enter. Mr. Kantola. Thou art a traitor to thy class. Too often hast thy flivver traversed the beaten path to Ashtabula Harbor.” Then, sauntering slowly up the winding stairs came Marie and La Verne. One never asked Marie what she was going to do on Friday night because they were assured that she “wouldn’t tell.” St. Peter opened the gate for them murmuring, “All the world doth love a lover.” Richard Ilakanson, the chemical shark, who displayed his knowledge in said profession at a recent class party next presented his calling card to St. Peter. “Thou hast been too deeply interested in the under-classmen for three consecutive years,” said Peter as he commanded Richard to withdraw. Frances Rose, through her renowned fame in winning the world’s “Girls Champion Hiker” to Ashtabula one fair day in summer two years ago easily secured a reserved seat in heaven. Annabelle Cook, Loreta Parker and Dorothy Bacon have most capably rendered their services in basketball for two years. Dorothy was our captain this year. But St. Peter looked accusingly at Annabelle and declared, “Thou canst not enter these gates. Rememberest not thou one dark stormy night in April 1922 that, taking advantage of the absence of electricity, thou secured an entrance to a performance in Conneaut High school without the usual deposit of fare.” As Leo Hines was ascending thru the skies he dropped a leaflet from his diary which Peter inquisitively grabbed. Here were the contents: T am a student. I am in a classroom. Why am I here? I do not know. I will tell the world I do not know. The in-struct-er is going to call on me. Will I answer? No 1 won't. Why won’t I? Because I am asleep.” “Allez aw enfer” shouted St. Peter to Leo. Soon a large sedan came honking up to the gate and St. Peter, twisting one of his brass buttons beheld a “little Franklin” heavily laden with eight (8) occupants. The driver was our “all around girl” (what sav, fellows?) Elizabeth Jane Cossit.t who recently astounded her more fragile classmates by ber stupendous feat of entering the cold depths of Lake Erie. “What did the wild waves say, Elizabeth?” 46 THE TATTLER June, 1928 Sitting in the front seat with her were Marion McRae and Marie Truel-son, very pretty names—pretty girls too. Both of these girls have distin-quished themselves in scholarship and were two of the many to undertake Latin for four years. Dorotha Perry another occupant of the car also studied the dead language for four years—but there’s nothing dead about Dorotha. We’ve heard tell that she simply adores a saxaphone. Seated on one of the doors was Clara Harvey telling of her aunt’s cousin’s husband’s new shave and haircut. Never mind Clara! Just because you interpreted Miss Rodgers’ part in the senior play so capably is no sign you were going to he an old maid. We doubt it, at least. The other two girls had names very similar, Helen Neal and Marion O’Neil. The former an east Conneaut representative and the latter our accomplished piano accompanist. But Marion seemed to have lost all interest in orchestra in her senior year. Maybe it's because the orchestra didn’t have a drummer (?). Seated way off in the most, secluded corner of the car was John Punkar. Isn’t it peculiar how Johnnie is always seen with a dozen ladies instead of one? Is it providence or intention? “Right this way,” said St. Peter as he pumped more gas into the Franklin. Next!” The next person, a very coy and demure little girl was very strange to St. Peter and upon inquiring her name she replied that it was “Alice Hill.” “H-m-m,” said Peter as he was suddenly attacked with a fit of sneezing. “Dos’t thou spell thy last name with an i or an e? “With an i, please,” she answered huffily, “H-i-1-1.’’ To redeem himself Peter admitted her into heaven. “And what hast thou done on earth to seek an entrance?” asked St. Peter of Draxy Luce. Draxy replied: “My parents always told me not to smoke—I don’t Nor listen to a naughty joke—I don’t. They say I musn’t even flirt With nice young men and never shirk My lessons. Now I must assert—I don’t. To dance or date is very wrong; Some girls chase men, good looks and song—I don’t! I never, never kiss a man. not one— I do not know how it is done; You wouldn’t think I had much fun —I don’t!” St. Peter answered: “Well this is no place for you gal. ‘ ‘ But it would be a lot worse for you in—the other place. Enter the golden gates. ’ ’ Lem pi Sarnppi and Jack Slaughter, two of our commercial students won their just rewards by receiving medals for their proficiency in typewriting. Leigh Griswold also received a certificate from the Underwood Typewriter Company. Some of our other loyal commercial students who have worked industriously about C. IT. S. halls and classrooms for the last four or more years are Louise Harrow, Truey Marshall, Trenc Montgomery, Gladys Speer, Ruth Spicer and Hilma Ilolkko. Perhaps these people can help record the deeds of man upon their typewriters in their lofty realms. Soon Merle Griffey, who came back this year to finish up her studies could be seen approaching the gates; but who was that in back of her whom she was leading gently but persuasively by the hand. “Come on, Harold, didn’t I always teach you better than this? Peter won’t harm you,” she said teasingly to Harold Cody. “Aw, gee, Merle, I don’t want to go in here. Don’t you remember the time I put a tack on Lauri Rajala’s seat in Latin class and made him yell when he sat down?” “A noble deed,” said St. Peter. “Enter.” Lawrence Tappe, id est “Andy,” and Harold Kauffman two more of our brave heroes who have worked long but not too industriously for their diplomas came stamping up to St. Peter’s portal. Harold and Lawrence had always made themselves very distinguished with June, 1 i)23 THE TATTLER 47 their gallery of “wise cracks’’ which would make one’s blood run hot and cold like a water faucet and could instill life into the bones of King Tut-ankh-Amen himself. “Thou art tough birds,” said Peter. “Thou certainly must have been hatched from hard boiled eggs. Thou may-est not enter here!” St. Peter was just about ready to open the golden gates for Margaret Reeves when she told him of an incident which recently occurred, how a police car drove up beside her while she was taking her usual Sunday afternoon “vamping” tour through the fair streets of Conneaut, and one of the policemen alighted from the car and insisted that she answered the descriptions of a girl who had run away from her home in Florida. He told Margaret that she’d better come along to the station, but she proved her identity and the minions of the law were satisfied that they had added another error to their list. “Then thou hast an discriminating face,” said Peter. “Thou also may go among the shades.’’ Walking placidly up the stairs came Homer Brewster and Charles Grace. These boys also won their golden harps because indeed were they remarkable. Never were they known to forget their reports in Civics class be it state, national, or international. Then briskly knocking at the gate stood Elizabeth Pi-escott. Elizabeth recently shocked Miss Stanley in French class but she redeemed herself by washing all her dinner dishes for her that evening. St. Peter admitted her because of her kind considerations for her classmates in always carrying a bar of chocolate with her. Eino Alio, our promising young Rudolph, was standing near the gate seeking in vain for a doorbell. “Thou hast spent too many wasteful hours up to the city library within the last three or four weeks to enter these realms,” said Peter looking through the spokes. Neil Woodworth upon inquiring whether there was plenty of fruit cocktail served in heaven, and being an- swered affirmatively, deigned to enter. Neil was recently initiated into the Hi-Y club and was getting to be about as efficient in the art of dishwashing as the rest of the members. There were several people in the class who always stood aloof from the rest of us. They surely don’t know what they have missed, do they, girls? They are Fred Allen, John Ahlberg, Howard Huston, Rudolph Orman and Howard King. Why! ’tis even said that Howard King would walk three blocks out of his way to avoid meeting a girl. However, we harbor no resentment against Rudolph because of his excellent faculties in oratory which he has manifested. “Indeed, there are too many girls in heaven for thou to find everlasting happiness here,” said Peter to this group of boys as he closed again the gates. Another real good boy in our class was Joseph Herrmann, the Latin shark (?) who decided to drop that subject feeling the need of a more scientifical education. Altho Joe had always made a pretty close study of the stars he begged t. Peter to let him enter that he might get a better observation of them. Esther Bacon certainly tickled the resibilities of St. Peter when she told him of Mr. Kennon’s sensational reply to her when she reported the loss of her Givics’ book. St. Peter disagreed with Kennon in many respects and admitted Esther into heaven. Flora Bromfield and Elizabeth Lee were very capable representatives of the general course in C. H. S. Elizabeth also won fame as a uekist (two meanings to that) and especially fine was her command of the French language. Perhaps she’ll use her knowledge among the angels? Soon a great deal of excitement was audible. St. Peter’s ears as he peered over the gate and beheld Waino Koleh-mainen and Theodore Kultti in a rather heated argument. The disagreement was over the meaning of the letters “B. C.” Theodore insisted that it meant “borrowed clothes” while Waino argued that it meant “basket- 46 THE TATTLER June. 1923 ball champs.’’ Due to Waino’s successful contribution to the basketball team we can easily figure how he could account for his version. “Thou art both erroneous,” exclaimed Peter. “Furthermore peace and quiet must abidf here in heaven. “That's a wicked looking pair of shoes, St. Peter,” said Engrid Tobason as she beheld them descending. “What meanest thou?” interrogated Peter. “Two souls gone to the bad,” answered Engrid as she quickened her footsteps to follow Theodore. Last but not least of our comrades came our little philosopher Lucille Hil-derbrand, who was last for no other reason than because she wasn’t first. Lucille with her dainty witticisms and criticisms reached her pinnacle of fame when she displayed her pretty smiles and bobbed hair as Kitty in “In Comes Jimmy.’’ St. Peter opened the gate for her as he quoted, “Whatever is worth doing at all. is worth doing well. Success is measured by quality and not quantity.” Thus we close the pages of our history. E. D. B. THE SECOND HAND FIDDLE Professor Meeks held up his stick impressively, and shook his head. The musicians stopped playing, that is, everyone except a large raw-boned youth who kept on sawing industriously on D flat, on an old, screechy violin. The professor rapped sharply on a music rack and the soloist looked up with a start. A giggle passed through the orchestra and the youth turned red in the face. Most of the giggling came from a girl playing in the first violin division and the professor looked at her reprovingly. Then glancing over the score of pupils under him, he plunged into an explanation of wave lengths, half-notes and chords all worked together in a mixture guaranteed to bewilder the best musician in the group. Professor Meeks did this at the beginning of every year to impress the new pupils with his profound knowledge of music. The older members of the orchestra winked at each other, and settled down in more comfortable positions in their seats. Maude Perry, always the first to laugh or scream, looked around the great assembly room and shuddered. The bright lights from the music racks lit up the group of musicians sharply but the rest of the huge assembly room of Clyde High School was plunged into a gloom. The black thunder cloud outside accounted for the early, unnatural dusk which made the place look lonesome and forbidding. She tried to pierce the darkness under the orchestra but the corners were pitch black. As most high strung people, her imagination was unusually vivid, and during the thunder storm, her mind flew back over the ghost stories of Edgar Allen Poe. which the English class was then studying. The Professor’s voice drummed on her ears in a continuance of eloquent phrases. She had heard it all before, so she let her mind wander. “Now ladies and Gentlemen,” continues the profssor, “we come to the D Major Chord which is used in Crescendo by Wagner, Hoffman, Beethoven, and a score of the greatest composers. I will strike it on the piano. Notice its sonorous, yet martial tone.” He walked to the piano and brought his hands down on the keys. At the same instant there was a flash and an ear-splitting crash as the lightning shattered a telephone pole at the nearest street corner. True to form, Maude Perry came out of her day dreams with a high pitched scream. There was a sudden drawing of deep, frightened breaths. The thunder crash had left the assembly room as quiet as a tomb. James Artemus Wade, (known more widely as “Jaw” because that was the manner in which he signed his initials and also, because it described the organ with which he was most proficient), put his violin to his shoulder and June, 1923 THE TATTLER 4!t mocked the scream of it so perfectly that the entire orchestra burst into a roar of laughter. It was his specialty to mock many different sounds on his violin and he never missed an opportunity. Even the old Professor's face lit up in a semblance of a smile, which was a rare occurrence. “You will all admit that that was a magnificent crescendo,” he said, and the pupils laughed heartily at the first joke he had registred in his fourteen years of service at Clyde High. The orchestra rehearsal had come to an end, and the students packed away their instruments and gathered in the front to wait for the rain to stop. The conversation naturally drifted to violins and finally, the drummer asked “aw” Wade when he had obtained his fiddle. “Well, if you want to listen,” he replied, “I'll tell you how I got this violin and paid only thirty dollars for it.” The group gathered around “Jaw” and he began: “I was horn in a little one-horse town in the Northern part of Illinois. Don’t know if any of you have ever heard of it or not. It’s called Chicago. I came into possession of a violin at the age of seven. “When I was lfi years old, that’s three years ago, my rincle came to Chicago to visit us. He was a Hoosier from Indiana and he was everything I had imagined a Hoosier to be, and more. lie had never been in a big city before and T had the honor of piloting him up and down State Street. I finally got him into a vaudeville show. Of course I wasn’t ashamed of him or anything like that but it is rather embarrassing to meet a bunch of girl friends, when you're piloting an old gent with hayseeds in his whiskers, who insists on looking straight up to see the height of the buildings, and taking a chew of “Yankee Girl” every ten minutes. “The last act of the vaudeville was a violin solo by a well known artist, and the old gent seemed strongly impressed by his works. His praises were so loud that I began to get nervous. Finally, to quiet him I said, ‘Oh! he wasn’t so awfully good. I could do almost as well as that myself.’ ” “The next day he insisted on hearing me play, so I did my best to please him. “Wa’al,” lie said, “That thar sounded pretty nice, but I think that fellow at that theatre last night was a shade better.” “Oh!” I said, “That’s the difference in the violins. I can’t afford to buy a violin like he had.” “Sho’ that's too bad,” he said. Then a wonderful insipation seized him. lie pulled out a large letter pocketbnok and peeled off three ten dollar hills. “Now, you go right out and spend every cent of that for a good violin. I guess that will buy one as good as that artist had.” “I was about to tell him that the violin he had heard the night before was worth about five thousand dollars but I took another look at the tens and kept my mouth shut. “I figured that my old violin was worth more than any new one I could get for thirty dollars, so I started out on a round of second hand stores. I ran into a few good violins and a lot of poor ones. The shop keepers knew the value of the good one and asked exorbitant prices for them. “Finally I ran into a little pawn shop on South State Street and picked up an old violin that looked good to me. I played on it a while and it sounded good, so I asked what the price was. “Well I give it to you cheap,” he said. “It is worth a hundred hut I will give it to you for sixty dollars!” I shook my head and began to walk out. “Yait.” he yelled. “I will give it to you for fifty-five.” I returned and after an hour bartering I got him down to fifty dollars. “I finally gave up hope and left. I tried a dozen or more places, hut I couldn’t find anything to suit me, so I returned to the place on South State. “I was about to go in again when a friend of mine, a law student, came down the street. “Wait a minute,” I said, grabbing him by the arm. “You can talk almost : o THE TATTLER June, 1923 as much as I can. Go in there and see if you can buy that violin for thirty dollars. I ‘rot him to come down to fifty but 1 think he’ll coine down if you work him right.” He went in and after a half hour’s bombardment he returned without the violin. “I got him down to forty. But he won’t come down another cent, if 1 had someone else to go in then and keep up the good work we might get it!” “I’ll call up a friend of mine who makes a specialty of arguing with pawn shop owners and see if he can buy the violin!” By six o’clock we had five law students trying to buy the violin for thirty dollars but the owner would not sell for less than thirv-five. Two more men called into the fray but they came back with dejected faces to the corner where we were hiding. “I'm going to try to get it again,” T said. “If T don’t succeed this time we’ll give it up.” A man with a black traveling bag entered the shop before me. ITis eyes rested on the violin lying on the counter. He picked it up and sounded the strings. “I’ll give you thirty dollars for it.” he said. “Ach, everybody vants to buy that feedle for thirty dollars. All right, I vill sell it. Tt is yours.” “The man took a billfold from his pocket and paid the shop-ljeeper. He looked around the shop and picking up his black hand-bag lie walked out of the store with my violin, it was rightfully mine. The perverseness of my luck and the shop-keeper had fooled me out of it, and T felt like rushing up to him and taking it away. 1 explained what had happened and two of us boarded the car that the man did. I was waiting for an opportunity to grab the violin and leave him my thirty dollars but he kept the violin under his arm all the while. He laid the black grip near his seat, and by chance another man with a similar grip set near us. The two grips started a plan in my mind. I would get the man in trouble and sec what would happen. As the ear entered a dark subway, I exchanged the two grips. About five blocks down, the man with the violin got up, picked up the grip, and started out. I got up as he was leaving the car and whispered to the man that the man with the violin under his arm had exchanged grips, in the dark subway. The man looked down and started up with a yell. I picked up the grip lying on the floor anti gave it to my companion and we went out. “Police, thief, murder, knock him cold, there’s a hundred thousand dollars in that bag, hold him until I get there.” About this time fifteen police had the man at their mercy. “Haint a tax paying citizen a light to walk on a street anymore?” he asked. “A citizen?” cried the other, “You’re a thief. You’ve tried to steal the bank's money by exchanging bags.” “That man’s a lunatic,” lie protested. “I’ve had this traveling bag for years! ’ ’ “Open the bag,” replied an officer of the law. The man did. He looked at it and nearly fainted. “Honest, T did not exchange the bags,” he began, but was ordered to keep quiet and tell it to the judge. He was taken to a judge, who gave him thirty days for trying to steal the money. After the commotion had quieted down T went to the man. said I would bail him out if he would sell me the violin for thirty dollars, lie refused at first but then thought of those thirty days in jail, so the bargain was made. T went to the judge and told him what really had happened, so the man was freed. That evening about five cops came to our house and handcuffed me. They only said my arrest was ordered by the chief. Uncle got pretty mad. “Gol darn ye, ye ain't got no right to arrest that boy, June, 1923 tup: tattler 51 he ain’t done nothing. I’ve been a sheriff once. I ought ter know the legality of the subject.” But his arguing was in vain. I was marched to the police station, and about a hundred small kids followed us then. The judge sentenced me for ten days on cost. That night was spent in jail but the next morning uncle came and bailed me out. The judge gave me final orders not to do that any more.—”And that’s how I got my violin.” replied Dan Wade. John Punkar. CLASS PROPHECY After a hard day’s labor in the office during which nothing functioned properly I made a snap decision to take a trip to Europe. Having made myself famous and having established a considerable fortune I felt that I needed the rest. Then too a trip of this kind would do so mueh to finish one’s education and assist one to become worldly wise. 1 had my private secretary make reservations for me at once on board the “Porpoise,” that floating palace of the Cunard line. .My usual luck was with me for I learned that the boat sailed the next day at noon. Arriving an hour before sailing time I settled myself and went outside to watch them load the ship. To my surprise I saw an old friend, Lauri Bajala. working as stevedore on the docks. I did not accost him as he was working hard and for the first time in my life I saw him perspiring. At the appointed time the Porpoise slipped quietly down the harbor and out into the open water. As we passed the Statue of Liberty I trained my field glasses on it and was amazed to discover Richard Hankanson giving the lady a new coat of paint. On her book in broad English script were the initials R. O. H. with the numerals ’23. Richard always was an artist of great repute and I knew he was bound to paint great things. I see now that my faith in him was not misplaced. Tiring of watching the water slip by I proceeded to the sun deck and picked up the New York Daily Times. On the front page in two inch headlines T saw the following: “Boy .Mysteriously Disappears at Sea.” “Somewhere in the briny deep lies the body of Henry Benson, well known young man of the famous class of '23. He mysteriously disappeared sometime yesterday morning when he went for a short ride in his canoe and failed to return. His absence was noticed at mealtime and every effort is being made to ascertain his whereabouts.” I was deeply grieved to read this and dropping the paper I gazed into the sea with a sigh. I saw that we were passing the “filling stations,” outside the three mile limit and to my great joy perceived Henry calmly paddling his canoe shoreward. I shouted at him but he disdained to look my way but never-the less I was thankful that lie was safe. In the bow of the canoe I saw a suspicious looking jug and the reason for his disappearance sprang into my mind instantly. Henry always was a drinker of renown and also other liquids. For the next three days we struck rough weather and I don’t remember much of anything except that I spent much of my time leaning over the railing gazing into the deep. On the fourth day we were forced to stop at the Azores to fix a broken propeller shaft. I went ashore for a while and discovered Reba MacFarland raising canary birds on a special farm. She had become famous throughout the island because of the bird she had raised, a cross between a canary and an ostrich. As we talked she told me of the famous boneless fish and shell-less oysters that Fred Allen was propagating on the other side of the island. At length I returned to the Porpoise which continued on its way toward Naples. As we passed the Rock of Gibraltar I was surprised to notice a sleepy individual lazily fishing from its peak. Training my glasses on him I discovered it to be Howard Calkins. He was fishing with a willow stick and a piece 52 THE TATTLER June, 1923 of string and as lie pulled in to bait up 1 saw that he had a box of worms and a bent pin. lie is still the same old lazy “Lute.” Evidently the “Medicine Show” was of good influence to him. We had great weather all the remainder of the voyage and early one morning the Porpoise was quietly docked in Naples. As I came on deck the first thing that caught my eye was Vesuvius that famous smokestack of Italy and the second was my old friend Kantola. lie stood on the dock selling spaghetti and as each passenger landed he accosted them and described the wonderful food that he was selling in marvelous adjectives. I saw that his knowledge of Latin was of some benefit to him and that the time he “spent” on it in old C. II. S. had not been wasted. We went for a short w'alk to talk over old times and attempted to enjoy some excellent cigars but an urchin followed us about and as soon as one of us would throw down the butt he would pounce upon it with avaricious glee. He looked so hungry that at length we were forced to throw away a half cigar at a time to satisfy him. Arriving at the station T bade Bill adieu and journeyed to Geneva. Here I went to see the famous Cathedral of St. Lorenzo. As I stepped in the door who should I see but Otto Steele acting as guide. He showed me about the place and said that half of it was just as it was when the Savior was born. I doubted the statement but did so reluctantly I would much rather have believed Otto. But the place looked in too perfect repair to be so ancient. The point of greatest interest in the Chapel of St. John the Baptist. In it is a marble chest, in which Otto told me were the ashes of St. John and around it a chain which confined him when he was in prison. I did not desire to dispute this claim but on the other hand I could not believe it for I could have broken that chain and so could have St. John, then also I had seen St. John’s ashes in another church. I could not persuade myself that St. John had two sets of ashes. Having heard of Monte Carlo I de- cided to go there and see it also. Upon arriving I was amazed at the beautiful scenery and the climatic conditions. They were ideal and they have twenty four hours of weather every day. Great excitement was reigning at the Casino so I proceeded that way. As I entered I saw a short stout gentlemen standing at a table with French Banknotes bulging from every pocket. He was intently watching the roulette wheel as it spun, and as it stopped a great shout rent the ceiling. He had broken the bank. Drawing closer who should I perceive it to be be but an old friend of mine, Gordon Greene. The banker I saw was Kauffman and he was wringing his hands in dispair and at the same time was gesturing wildly and swearing fluently in seven different languages. I congratulated Gordon on his good luck and then consoled Kauffman. T dragged him away to a bar and he drowned his grief in an ice cream soda and a bottle of lemon pop. As we sat drinking a young lady breezed past in a filmy, flowing creation. On her head was a broad brimmed hat set at a rakish angle in accordance with the latest style from Paris. Long drooping earrings hung from under the brim. A bright sash was wound about her waist and anklets set with tiny bells tinkled as she walked. As she stopped at the table I recognized Dorthea Ferry. At length I made my way to one of the numerous hotels of the town and who should I discover as proprietor but John Punkar. He informed me that his was the best hotel in town and charged me accordingly. I went to see the famous museum of the Prince de Jected and thoroughly enjoyed the collection of freaks. In one corner in a large case I saw a man stretched full length. A sign read. “The Only Petrified Man In Existence.” It was Max Downer! Well, at last Max has achieved a place of renown. I thought I would take a trip to the Alps, those famous molehills of Europe. When I arrived at the foot of the hills I engaged a guide none other than Neil Woodworth. He was blind in one eye and couldn’t see very well out of the June, 1923 THE TATTLER r 3 other but proved to be an excellent guide. As we neared the top he became fatigued and I was forced to carry him. At the top he showed me the place where Annabelle Cook had gained fame by tumbling over when a cloud came along and collided with her. We enjoyed several oranges which we picked and then descended. I left for France that evening, on a fast train, and arriving two days later was thoroughly amazed at the speed of those French trains. At times they gained the stupifying speed of 15 miles an hour. I entered a large cafe for lunch and who should I meet but Mrs. Booth on a European tour. She was surprised to see me and expressed it in suitable words. I told her it was not quite according to the manner she had taught me hut inasmuch as I was caught red-handed T would have to make the best of it. During the meal, wonderful music was “rendered” by “Iline's Frantic Five” which included such players of renown as Barton. O’Neal. Ilines and several minor satellites. Next I journeyed to gay Paree and visited one of the famous shows then going on. Tt contained such famous girls as Fancher, Clemens and Tobason who vied with one another in gaining the audience’s applause. The stage setting was marvelous and the costumes beautiful, that is what there was of them. I procured a guide to show me Mon-marte. the Greenwich Village of Paris. In one cafe I met Kultti and his lieutenant. Greenmail. They were the leaders of a notorious gang of Apaches, who had defied the police for years. However Greenmail confided to me that Elizabeth Prescot was the brains of the gang and planned all the robberies. As we sat conversing there was a sudden commotion and the two bandits leaped to their feet to face the guns of Griswold and Hermann, two gendarmes of the Parisian police force. As they secured the bandits with handcuffs the famous Prefect of the Police entered. She walked up to the prisoners and having identified them ordered them to be taken to the prison. I suppose it was the Bastile. Advancing toward me, who also had been arrested, 1 saw that it was Marion McRae. Her countenance was stern and unyielding and for an instant 1 was dismayed but as she recognized me I found my voice and explained matters whereupon she released me. I congratulated her on the good work and we both expressed our sorrow that two of our former classmates should have departed from the straight and narrow path. I rode home that night on the Seine with none other than Charles Grace for a boatman. There was a mellow moon in the sky and the city had begun to quiet down. Charles broke in upon my reverie with a wonderful imitation of a eat fight. 1 turned about to discover the cause of this sudden outburst and discovered he was singing. lie was gazing at the moon and screeching when suddenly we ran into another boat and Charles did a swan dive into the river. His spirits were considerably dampened by the water and after helping him in we proceeded towards our destination. As we neared the Pont Neuf I noticed a man and a woman standing at the railing conversing. Approaching I heard the man say: “I—er—that is-oh darn, will you marry me Emily?” There was a gasp of astonishment from the girl and she replied: “Why Jack, this is so sudden. But then surprises are liable to happen. Yes I will.” Then as they clinched I passed under the bridge and I surmised that it was our well known pair. The next day 1 decided to visit the famed Eiffel Tower. Here running the elevator and acting as guide was Hiram Hews. 1 entered the cage and Hiram gave her the gas and away we went. Half way up. the thing refused to budge and we were marooned. Hiram enter tained me with a few stories about it. He told me how once before it had done the same thing and often stopping had returned to the ground with a crash. The cause of the accident was attributed to the great weight it was bearing. THE TATTLER June, 1 !)2 J : 4 namely Ruth Spicer anil Gladys Speer. At length having generated hot air by this story telling, the cage was lifted to the top and we were safe. Iliram showed me the spot where Rudolph Orman had launched himself from the summit with an umbrella. Three hours later they picked him up in a blanket, that is they picked up all they could find. The view from the tower is quite gratifying to the eye and the penquins and albatrosses wing their way about it with swift flapping of wings. At length satisfied, I descended by way of the staircase, not trusting the elevator. After three hours 1 succeeded in gaining the ground again and returned to my hotel. The next day I thought I would like to view one of the exposition parks and so I proceeded along the Champs Elysses until I discovered one. It was called “Le Place du Mirable” which sounded like they might be playing marbles there, so I entered. There was a gigantic ferris wheel running, so 1 stepped up to a booth and procured a ticket. The operator was a young lady and it just happend that the ear in which she was placed, stopped for me. As 1 entered 1 saw that it was another classmate, Hilina Ilolko. She greeted me affably and away the thing went. However, it was the calm before the storm for, as we reached the highest part of the arc the engine gave a couple of sputters and stopped. When it begins to rain it pours, they say. So it did now and it looked like we woilld either have to drown or get out and walk. However, the workmen succeeded in repairing the motor and we reached the ground in a bedraggled condition. T selected a nearby building as a place of refuge and hurried towards it. On the outside was a broad sign which read: “ ‘Theatre du Nichle.’ See the famous people of America in action.” I entered with a splash. The place was a large hall in which there were many curious booths. I procured a pocketful of nickels and started on the rounds. The first booth was labeled ‘‘Home Life in America.” I entered this booth, sat down in a chair and put one nickel in a slot. A light flashed on in the machine and taking a hold of the handle 1 started to crank. Before me 1 saw an arid desert in the midst of which was a small shack. Piled around the shack were huge bags of gold. Then the scene shifted to the inside of the house where the wife was cooking a meal of corned beef and cabbage. Five children were playing about throwing rocks at each other. One bounced off the head of the father and he pulled out a gun and shot the young culprit. Here the sketch ended and I laughed as I thought of the French conception of American life. In the home 1 had recognized Harold Cody and Virginia Miner. The next booth was labeled “Sports of America.” Here after the same procedure, who should I see but Lucille Hilderbrand and Merle Griffey engaged in a boxing contest. The fight was very vivid and typical. At the sound of the gong the two rushed madly together and flailed each other with both hands. Then Lucille procured a good hold with her teeth and bit off one of Merle’s fingers. Merle rushed to her corner and returned with a huge club. She furiously belayed Lucille with it and succeeded in cracking her skull as the round ended. In the second round the contestants were armed with bricl s and numerous casualties resulted. The sketch ended when neither were able to answer the bell for the third round. A knitting contest was also shown between Laurence Tappe and Marie Truelson. At the crack of the gun both were off at a great rate, Marie leading by three stitches. As they proceeded Tappe gained noticeably and at the quarter, passed Marie. However, he became mixed in the yarn and broke a leg trying to get out. Marie was now far in the lead but was forced out by a broken needle. On the home stretch Tappe made a wonderful sprint but lost the match by one stitch. I made my way to another booth labeled “Industries of America.” Here I viewed Alice Hill and Elizabeth Lee working as farmerettes on the large dairy farm of Howard Huston. They -June, 1 923 THE TATTLER were trying their best to pick cherries with the automatic milking machine but for some unaccountable reason couldn't make it work. About this time Howard arrived upon the scene and reprimanded them severely. Then he set them to work clearing away the snow from the lemon trees so that the workers could pick them. Then a scene was shown in Hollywood where a picture was being made. The scene was in a small house. The family was shown grouped about the grate roasting potatoes. The family is composed of Howard King and Dorothy Bacon. The door opens and the villain. Waino Kolehmainen enters. “Hell, heh,” he cries, “I have you in my power.” “Where are the papers?” cried Howard. “They are at the blacksmith’s.” “You are having them forged, you wretch! ’ ’ cried Dorothy. “No, I am having them filed.” Howard draws a gun and shoots Waino. The dying man confesses and and they live happily ever after. At this point a message informs me that T must place another nickel in the slot to see the remainder. I comply forthwith and I see Draxy Luce and Truey Marshall as Bolshevicki agitators who are endeavoring to persuade the Brick Layers Union to go on a strike. The substance of the speech is as follows: “Ah, you poor deluded fish. Do you not comprehend that your employers are profiting by your ignorance? Why not force on them a one hour day? Make them divide their profits. Half of theirs should be yours, while what you have should he your own.” Then the detective, Robert Puffer, appears upon the scene, but departs quickly followed by a storm of bricks from the hands of the workmen, some of whom are Reeves. Rose. Samppi and Neal. Next is shown Jack Slaughter, the famous inventor who made the machine that will spread complexion on screen beauties in ten minutes. He is shown operating on Loretta Parker and Lydia Prahl. The fishing industry is represented in Aho and Alhberg. They are shown fighting laboriously with a lobster which they finally capture. They take it ashore and display the fish they have caught. There are about 300 fish and I could hardly distinguish the fishermen from the catch. Wall Street is represented in Elizabeth Cossitt and Eva Barsky. They are shown gazing anxiously at the stock tickers, dashing madly to the phone and directing their brokers in the Exchange. At length they are shown boarding their million dollar yacht for a rest from the business. They are completely wrecks from the great strain. Edwin Ford and Louise Darrow are shown as joint proprietors of the Con-neaut leather Co. They are wearing gas masks and if the pictures had not been labeled I would not have known them. After a short time they staggered to the outer air and gulped the fresh air lustily. There is shown that great American invention, the circus. The big top is up and the show is going on. The elephant is standing on a tub trumpeting lustily and doing his stuff. At length he steps down and who should emerge from the skin but Homer Brewster. Irene Montgomery is the famous trapeze artist and high up in the top she dares death in leaping from one bar to another. Suddenly she falls but a parachute opens out on her back and she alights gracefully amidst the applause of the crowd. Having thoroughly enjoyed the entertainment I went back to my hotel where I discovered that the President of France desired me to dine with him. I accepted with reluctance because I did not wish to detract from his fame by attracting it to myself. As an entertainment he had three aesthetic dancers. They were Bromfield, Harvey and Miller. Judging from the brand they put forth they need chloroform or some other anesthetic. These French meals are horrible on the constitution, as I well can testify because at the present I am suffering from the effects of the President’s din- THE TATTLER June, 1923 5(i ner. 1 am in the hospital with an attack of indigestion, brain fever, and mumps. I don’t think I will recover but I have enjoyed my trip and am thoroughly rested and I now bid you good-by. Dudley Bell. A TRIP TO BOSTON It was the seventh of June when we started on our trip east. The country was lovely, flowers blooming, crops ripening, trees and bushes in full leaf. Leaving Erie and several small towns behind we were soon riding through new scenery. We had just passed Brockton when our first calamity overtook us; the engine of our car began to knock and knocked harder every second. A telephone crew which came along just then offered to tow us in and we were glad to accept their assistance. At the garage we found it was a burnt out bearing and that we would have to spend the afternoon looking at Brockton’s small stores and old houses. So five o’clock that evening found us creeping toward Buffalo at the rate of fifteen miles per hour. This side of Buffalo there are many summer homes, large estates with acres of well kept grounds and large bouses of beautiful design as well as cottages rented for each season. The first sights of Buffalo are disappointing since one sees only steel plants, docks warehouses, wholesale houses and the slum districts until you reach the business section. Spending that night at a hotel we followed the main street north in the morning. The northern section is the most beautiful part of Buffalo, for here are the old and new residences, beautiful parks, cemeteries, etc. After the main road turns east it goes past several old mansions enclosed by old fashioned high hedges. The country from Buffalo to Utica is rolling and very fertile. Toward Utica there are so many bills that the road goes up and down continually. At both Geneva and Little Falls there are large inland lakes surrounded by overhanging trees, their limpid waters inviting a plunge. Utica, where we spent the next night, has many shade trees along its wide streets, comfortable hotels and large stores. The weather was not as sunny the next morning as the day before; the air was misty with rain and the forests we rode through were green and cool. The road we followed was deserted and surrounded with trees—we felt lost. After an hour’s ride we came to a group of cars waiting for a truck which had been saved from rolling down the hill by a telegraph pole and the fence. Racing with a truck the night before, it had gone too near the edge. Another truck bad been working for an hour to pull it from its position, but when we arrived bad not accomplished anything. Finally with the aid of another car it was pulled to the road and the waiting cars given space enough to go on. We reached Albany at noon, going through heavily wooded hills. The main road goes along the sides of the bills following the famous Erie canal which looks more like a river than a canal. On the other side of the canal which is seldom used now, low hills stretch toward the south. Albany is a very attractive city with its wide shady streets and tall buildings. Near the business section is the state capital building. Of white marble with a terraced approach it is very imposing. Just east of Albany we crossed the Hudson river over a long viaduct. The banks of the river are low at Albany, the “Palisades” rising nearer New York. On the other side of the Hudson the land gradually rises to the heights of the Berkshires. In these bills one sees many old colonial houses which recall frilled dresses and powdered wigs. After climbing several long stretches of paved highway we started up “Jacob’s Ladder.” The road is built through dense forest going up, up, in a seeming endless climb. At the top it was foggy and only part of the road and some surrounding trees could be seen. Coasting down with the engine shut off was delightful sport, the trees in the fog looking like green specters rushing June, 1923 THE TATTLER 57 past. All the Berkshire hills are heavily wooded and exeept for the small towns in the valleys and the numerous rivers there are few open spaces. The Berkshires behind we turned north through Mount Holyoke and Mount Holyoke college, with its time aged buildings, to Amherst. Spending the night there we drove into the hills next day and got caught in a downpour which completely shut-out the scenery. After another day we started east again under a clear sky. Our first stop was at Concord. We visited the Sleep Hollow cemetery here and the site of the battle of Concord. The cemetery is large with grassy slopes and many trees. Here are buried both famous people, Emerson, Hawthorne, Thor-eau and Louise Alcott and later residents. The battle site is marked by the famous minuteman statin' approached by a small picturesque bridge. It is near Concord that one first notices the houses joined to the barn by sheds, sometimes forming the letter “L.” In Boston, going through Cambridge, one of its suburbs, we drove around the grounds of Harvard college with its old brick buildings. Then crossing Charlestown river we came to the residential section. After going to the hotel we went down town and spent the evening walking in the Boston Common. The Boston Common which was willed to the city with the provision that it never be used for streets or buildings, covers several acres and is in the center of the city. The next moring we tookia sight seeing bus. On this we saw the state eapi-tol with its golden dome, the graves of Benjamin Franklin’s parents in an old Cemetery walled in on three sides by tall buildings, Kings’ Chapel and many other buildings. Going to Charlestown, the suburb of Boston, we were given five minutes to visit Bunker Hill monument. War relics are kept in a small room at the base of the monument. At the Charlestown navy yards we were conducted through the ship Constitution or “Old Ironsides.” Here, we saw the captain’s room scarcely big enough to turn around in, the cook’s stove and a model of the old guns. Next we visited the Boston slums. Here the streets are very narrow, the narrowest one only two feet wide. It is only in the older section however, that the streets are narrow. There are several streets wide enough for six ears abreast besides grass and trees in the center. Paul Revere’s house is found on one of these narrow streets where so many foreign children play. It is a low house ('illy a story and a half high with even the eavetroughs of wood. The panes of glass in the small square windows are red and purple. Relics of his life are kept inside. Fanned Hall. “Cradle of Liberty” is also in this section. Boston has many new buildings as well as historic ones to see but it would take several months to visit the city thoroughly. The next day we went to Plymouth. The main road is lined with fir trees and winds through many historic villages. At Plymouth we went first to the shore to see Plymouth rock which is in the sand, covered with water at high tide. Around and above is beautiful white marble building. Besides the museum, there is an old cemetery at the top of the hill to visit. The tombstones tell of the past life and character of each person in old style phrasing. Plymouth is a sleepy town and looking at the streets shaded by the trees from the hot sun, it seemed impossible to imagine the Pilgrims climbing that steep hill during the cold winter. Going home we went through the Cat-skill mountains where Rip Van Winkle had his famous nap. The Catskills are very beautiful, both the mountains with their forests and the wide rivers. There are many visits which are worth the whole trip. Boston however, was the goal of the trip and the most interesting of all. ORCHESTRA Top Row: Taylor, Orman. Kinsulato. Second Row: Collins, Miss White, Barsky, Koelliker. Bottom Row: Mahoney, O’Neil, Robertson, Morgan. GLEE CLUB Top Row: Schram, Hawkins, Tinker, Blackman, Herrman, Grace, West, Roberts. Second Row: O’Brien, H. Hogle, Gifford, Harvey, Dorman, Myers, Thompson, Geraldine Carr, Rose. Third Row: Miss White, Millard, Phillips Morgan, E. Towne, Dunn, Horton, N. Smith. Lower Row: Jones, Prahl, Klumph, Cossitt, Marsh, Sheehan, Webb, Manville. A SIGMA BETA CLUB Top Row: Truelson, Miner, Dunn, Cossitt, Horton, Huhta. Middle Row: Barsky, McRae, Miss Johnson, Miller, Miss Peck. Lower Row: Carmichael, Sheehan, Barr, Webb, Hilderbrand. HI-Y CLUB lop Row: W. Smith, Taylor Woodworth, Truelson, McKenzie, Rajala, Mr. Keidel. Middle Row: Barton, Andrews, Calkins, Kolehmainen, Tappe, Hankins. Lower Row: Murphy, Ford, Punkar, Cody Ritari. TRIANGULAR DEBATE TEAM Top Row: Calkins, Mr. Bail (coach). Middle Row: Hakanson, King, Barton. Lower Row: Cossitt, L. Scribner. HONOR SOCIETY Top Row: Kolehmainen, Cossitt, McNutt, Miller, McRae, Rajala. Second Row: Webb, O’Neil, Hilderbrand, Lafferty, Scribner, Jackett. Third Row: MacFarland, Horton, Barsky, Calkins, Samppi, Downer. Last Row: Sheehan, Ladner, Morgan, Towne, White. Til?: TATTLER .June, 1923 (il SENIOR TATTLER STAFF Editor-in-Chief and Business Manager ..........Howard Calkins Athletics .........Waino Kolehmainen Society ..............Marie Truelson Class Activities...............Homer Barton Senior Write Ups. .Ijucille Hilderbrand Features .............Virginia Miner Literary ........................Eva Barsky Jokes ..................Dudley Bell Advertising ............Harold Cody Circulation ............Lauri Rajala Faculty Advisor.......Edith N. Booth THE GIRLS' GLEE CLUB C. H. S. may well be proud of the Glee clubs produced this year. The Girls’ club played an important part in the operetta, “The Gypsy Rover.” Membership in this organization is on the “Try-out” system and is limited to a small number. Miss Stephania White, music director for all the schools, is in charge of the club. THE BOYS' GLEE CLUB The boys of the school ordinarily are a little timid about giving the world the benefit of their beautiful voices, but judging from this year’s club, are recovering from this disease. The boys’ club also assisted in “The Gypsy Rover” and in addition gave several numbers at the Musical Credit Recital, June 6. Miss White also directs the Boys’ club. SIGMA BETA Ever since the Hi-Y was formed to promote co-operation among the boys, a need was felt for a similar organization for the girls. So, accordingly, a number of girls from the two upper classes were chosen to carry out this work. These girls were selected, not because they were the ones best fitted, but because it was impossible to ascertain from the large number of eligible girls just the ones who would be particularly adapted to this kind of work. The purpose of the Sigma Beta is to establish good fellowship and friendliness among all the girls and to sponsor such movements as will tend to further these motives. Examples of this may be seen in the “get together” or “Hard Times Party” held for the Freshman girls last fall and the more recent Mothers’ and Daughters’ banquet. The Sigma Beta has recently made application for membership in a branch of the Y. W. C. A., known as Girl Reserves. Membership in an organization of national importance would be very advantageous to the Sigma Beta, because it would mean the supervision of the National Y. W. C. A. thus coinciding to the Hi-Y as under the National Y. M. C. A. THE ORCHESTRA One of the most helpful organizations of C’. II. S. is the orchestra. The members work many hours practising the numbers with which they delight us in assembly. They are very willing to give their services whenever needed and truly help to make a success of many school activities. We would be lacking in gratitude, indeed, if we did not in some way show oiir appreciation of the orchestra. EDITORIALS THE TATTLER VOLUME TWELVE NUMBER EIGHT TRIBUTE TO MISS KAHLER What the Conneaut High School will be without the presence and personality of Miss Louise E. Kahler, it will be difficult for Conneaut people to imagine. For twenty-three years she has been principal of the High School, and for five years previous to that time had been an instructor in various branches. How completely her work and influence have been identified with the growth and character of the school may be suggested by the fact that at the time she entered the High School there had been but fifty-three graduates since the school's foundation in 1880; during the period of Miss Kahler’s connection with the school there have been eight hundred and thirty-four graduates. Previous to her entrance upon high school work Miss Kahler had already taught for six years in various grades of our city schools. Miss Kahler was herself a student in our High School and is a graduate of Pennsylvania State Normal School. She has constantly kept up with educational progress and cultivated her own capacity, having done work during seven years in the Universities of Chicago and Columbia. Without any depreciation of the work of others in the schools of Conneaut, it is evident that Miss Kahler’s personality and influence have been most con- tinuously and deeply impressed upon the minds and characters of the graduates of our High School and upon the intellectual and moral life of our city. Loyalty to the High School on the part of its alumnae means practically always personal loyalty to Miss Kahler. Miss Kahler has consistently impressed upon her pupils both by precept and example the greater truthfulness and effectiveness of moderation in the expression of feeling and enthusiasm. And as this appreciation of her life work in Conneaut may bv some accident come to her knowledge, it is especially appropriate to exercise restraint in this expression of admiration for the great service she has rendered to the youth and to the entire community of the city of Conneaut. With all moderation, it must be said that she has shown an example of high intellectual culture, of personal refinement and dignity, of conscientious loyalty to duty, of friendly interest and kindness of heart. She has made life more worth while for hundreds of the youth of Conneaut. She has inspired many to live for the highest ideals. The City of Conneaut recognizes its debt of gratitude to Miss Kahler, and feels itself honored in giving due honor to her. PATRIOTIC PROGRAM The third scene was taken from the ‘Civil War” and consisted of Mildred The High school commercial students •rave a most interesting Memorial Day program Friday, May 18. The program was in two parts, one of which was given by the commercial students and the other in charge of the G. A. R. and the D. of V. The program was opened by Dorothy Bacon who stood beneath the flag and read “The American Flag” by Henry Ward Beecher. The program was in pageant form and consisted of five scenes, the first being the Revolutionary War which was portrayed in tableau “The Spirit of 76.” The students who took these parts were Lucille Brace, Geraldine Carr and Bessie Sprague. In the second scene the “War of 1812” Margaret Thompson took the part of a soldier and Edna Forster as Commodore Perry. Miss Stanley sang “The Star Spangled Banner.” Sprague as drummer boy, Esther Bacon. Union soldier and Esther Laffertv as a Southern slave. Mildred Sprague gave a talk ending with Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address. In the fourth scene Florence Osborne gave a short talk on the “Spanish-American War.” The pupils taking part in this scene were Florence Osborne and Bernice Quinn. The last scene, taken from the “World War,” consisted of three overseas soldiers portrayed by Francis Bacon, Beatrice Jacket!, and Helen Neal, who recited, “America For Me,” by Van Dyke. Aleatha Webb recited, “In Flanders Fields” and Virginia Miner gave “America’s Answer.” Etta Clemens read “Who Follow the Flag” by Van Dyke. The pageant was brought to a close by the entrance of three torch bearers, Edna Maring, Martha Iluita and Violet Quinn. The June, 1923 THE TATTLER 67 program was arranged by Miss Beard, assisted by Miss Phillips and Mr. Bradley. The second part of the program consisted of an interesting speech bv Mr. C. W. Pelton. LIBRARY STAFF ENJOYS OUTING The Junior members of the High school library staff entertained the Senior members at a pleasant party May 15 at the MacFarland cottage. Cards and dancing were enjoyed and late in the afternoon a picnic supper was served. The party was chaperoned by Miss Peck and Miss Work. SPECIAL ASSEMBLY On Wednesday. May 16, a special assembly was called by Miss Kahler, who introduced Mrs. Peck, Countv President of the W. C. T. V. Mrs. Peck gave much valuable information, the main theme of her speech being temperance instruction. SCRIBBLER'S PICNIC At three o’clock Thursday afternoon. May 17, members of the Scribbler's club gathered at the High school and were conveyed in automobiles to the MacFarland cottage. Cards and dancing were enjoyed during the afternoon and at six o’clock a weiner roast was partaken of. The picnic was chaperoned by Mr. T. E. Bradley. MISS KAHLER RECEIVES GIFT Desirous of showing Miss Kahler how much they appreciated the work she has done for the High School, the faculty and students recently presented her with a watch as a symbol, of their regard. Miss Kahler retires from school work at the close of this year, and it is with sincere regret that the citizens of the town think of her retirement. Her service has been appreciated far more than any material gift could show, and the gratitude of the many students who have been under her charge, is by far the greater gift. CLASS DAY One of the most enjoyable parties of the Class of '23 was held Wednesday. June 6, at Woakhanne Lodge. The members met at the High School building and were conveyed to the lodge in automobiles. Upon arriving at the Lodge the guests enjoyed a bountiful luncheon. Mrs. Booth, faculty advisor of the class, acted as toastmistress. The Class Will, from which much amusement was gained, was read by Virginia Miner. Eva Barsky gave the Class History, which showed much thought and work. The Class Prophecy given by Dudley Bell, afforded a great deal of merriment. Miss Kahler, who is retiring from her position, responded to a toast. Late in the day the class returned to the city all agreeing that this was one of the most enjoyable affairs of the year, and it certainly was one which will not be soon forgotten. FACULTY ENTERTAINS MISS KAHLER Shorehome Cottage was the scene of a delightful affair Tuesday evening. May 29, when Miss Kahler was the honored guest of the faculty. The party was a complete surprise to Miss Kahler who was “lured to the spot’’ by several of the teachers. The evening was a very unusual one, inasmuch as a large part of it was spent in hunting lost hats and in eating a cake which appeared very mysteriously. A delicious dinner was served at six-thirty after which Mr. Keidel on behalf of the entire faculty presented Miss Kahler with a beautiful bouquet of roses. IN MEMORIAM Roy Leahy Aner Kallio Margaret Prick Paul Paulson FIELD DAY Ashtabula won the annual field day at Jefferson. Conneaut came fourth with six points. Following are the points scored hy each school: Ashtabula.........48 Harbor ...........27 Austinburg........13 Conneaut ......... 6 Jefferson ........ 5 Geneva ........... 4 Under the most ideal weather conditions which have prevailed for many years on Field Day, the annual field and track classic of the Ashtabula County high schools was held on May 25 at Jefferson. Conneaut’s material was not as good this year as it has been in previous years. The squad put everything they had into the meet, but were unable to place in only four events. Brace and Truelson were the only point getters for Conneaut. Brace scoured four points and Truelson two points. During the afternoon of the meet four former county records were broken and one was tied. Focerto of Ashtabula tied the former record of 10 1-5 seconds in the 100 yard dash. Frisbee of Austinburg ran a man killing mile in excellent form and knocked 2-5 of a second from the county record of 4 minutes 52 2-5 seconds. Williams of Ashtabula ran a close second. Turri of Harbor went 10 feet 6 inches in the pole vault, smashing the former record which was 10 feet 4 1-4 inches. Brace of Conneaut was a close second, going 10 feet, 2 inches. Johnny Rhea, Jefferson’s crack half-miler, shattered Eighmy’s (Conneaut) record which was 2 minutes, 10 3-5 seconds by 4 1-5 seconds, his time being 2 minutes 6 2-5 seconds. The relay race was won by Ashta-bula’s crack team and they knocked off the half mile in 1 minute, 38 2-5 seconds. This was 1 3-5 seconds better than the 70 THE TATTLER June, 1923 record held by Jefferson's team in 1915. Jefferson’s record then was 1 minute 40 seconds. The participants in the meet could not have asked for a better day. The track was in fine shape and the air just cool enough to give the runners a lot of pep. Callan, of Ashtabula, was the individual champion of the day with a total of 11 1-4 points. Summary: 100 yard dash—Focerato, (A); Ilor-dusky, (ti); Phelps, (A); time 10 1-5 seconds, county record tied. Mile runA-Frisbee, (G. R. I.); Wiliams, (A); Blasco, (A); time 5 minutes and 52 seconds; county record broken. Former record 4 min., 52 2-5 seconds. Shot Put—Kinnenen, (II); Laekso-nen, (II); Truelson, (C); distance 41 feet, 10 1-2 inches. 440 Dash—Callan, (A); Lintala (H); Sylvester. (II); time 54 1-2 seconds. High Jump—Snodgrass, (G. R. I.); Davis, (G. R. I.); Brace, (C); height 5 feet 6 1-2 inches. Discus Throw—Pierson, (A); Kallio, (H); Truelson, (C); distance 96 feet. 7 1-2 inches. 220 yard Dash—Callan. (A); Jackway, (A) ; Horduskv, (G); time 23 seconds. Pole Vault-1—Turri, (H); Brace, (C); Jackway, (A); height 10 feet, 6 inches. County record broken. (Former record 10 feet, 4 1-4 inches. 220 yard Hurdles—Inman, (A); Wilson, (II); Davis, (G. R. I.); time 27 2-5 seconds. Half-mile Run—Rea. (J); Mills, (A); Sylvester, (II); time 2 minutes and 6 2-5 seconds, county record broken. (Former record, 2 minutes, 10 3-5 seconds. Broad Jump—Phelps, (A); Turri, (II); Jackwav, (A); distance 18 feet. Relay won by Ashtabula—Phelps, Callan. Focerato and Inman. FOOT BALL The season of '22 was completed in January for in this month was held the banquet which officially ended the season. C. II. S. did not get the banner, but it had as good a team as the best in the county. The students feel that the team and coach be given a great deal of credit for the way in which they showed up. The majority of the students feel that if Conneaut had met the county champs. Harbor, in another game they would have defeated them. The main attraction of the season held in Ashtabula for Conneaut came home from ’Bula with the heavy end of the score. This was the second defeat in two years that our team has given Ashtabula. It was in this game that Captain Brace showed his worth to the team by his brilliant running and kicking. Tt was in this game that he really won the Wentling cup. Two members of this year's team were placed on the all county team. Captain Brace was chosen quarterback and ‘‘Fat’’ Green center on Ashtabula county’s mythical eleven. Ritari was chosen for the second team and if it had not been for injuries lie also would have been placed on the first team. Hiram Hews and Thomas McKenzie were given honorable mention. The men who received letters for this year are Captain Brace, Steele, Hews, Wood-worth, Kako, Smith. Green. Belnap, Ritari, Olmstead, Kelly, Clark, Morton. Truelson, McKenzie and Davis. All of these men should be given a great deal of credit for the way in which they fought their wav through thick and thin for C. II. S.‘ A great deal of credit goes to Mr. Kennon for the able manner in which lie rounded a good,fighting team, which once again brought honor to our school. Thomas McKenzie was elected captain of next year’s team. Green, Hews, Steele and Woodworth were the Senioi’s on the team. Results of games: Conneaut 7 .................lefferson 0 Conneaut 27...............Painesville 0 FOOTBALL TEAM, 1923 Top Row: Coach Kennon, Green, L. Smith, Kako, Hews, Steele. Second Row: Woodworth, Davis, McKenzie, Brace, Truelson, Morton. Third Row: Clark, Kelley, Olmstead, Ritari, Belnap. 72 THE TATTLER June, 1923 Conneaut 0 ............... Erie 19 Conneaut 6 ..............Harbor 20 Conneaut 0..................Geneva 0 Conneaut 7......Academy (Erie) 21 Conneaut 31 ............Austinburg 0 Conneaut 17..............Ashtabula 13 Conneaut 0...............Meadville 13 BASKET BALL Conneaut High school has always had a strong Basketball team. This year’s team was no exception, for although not the champs it gave the leaders a good fight for the banner and if it was not for a protested game which was thrown out there would have been a four-cornered tie for the championship. The game referred to is the Ilar-bor-Conneaut. game played in Conneaut. Harbor took the game 18-17 but later Conneaut protested. The county Board gave the game to Conneaut 19-18 but the Northeastern District Board threw the game out so that Harbor won the championship. The Basket ball team had a hard uphill fight. Coach Kennon started with a practically green team, not one of the men having been a regular in the preceding year’s team. In spite of this fact the boys were ready to fight their way and showed the other teams that they would have to fight if Conneaut was to be defeated. The race for the banner was very close, most of the teams being evenly matched, and teams won and lost by a margin of one or two points. Taken in all the boys played a mighty good season for they piled up a total of 461 points to their opponents 369. Conneaut also played at the tournament at Western Reserve but lost the first game by a score of 14-10 to St. Ignatius of Cleveland. St. Ignatius was one of the teams that went to Columbus. Kauppila, who played forward, was placed on the all countv five and Kolelimainen, guard, was placed on the second all county team. Captain Brace, Truelson and Ritari received honorable mention. The men who received letters were: Captain Brace, Ritari, Kolelimainen, Kauppila, Truelson, Woodworth and Punkar. Arthur Truelson was elected to lead next year. Five games resulted as follows: Conneaut 30.............Ex-Champs 27 Conneaut 18 ...............Harbor 32 Conneaut 27 .. . . • Academy (Erie) 42 Conneaut 68 .............Jefferson 8 Conneaut 31 ...............Geneva 33 Conneaut 36.............Ashtabula 26 Conneaut 23................Geneva 22 Conneaut 30........Pebocs (Erie) 15 Conneaut 17................Harbor 18 Conneaut 10 St. Ignatius, Cleveland, 14 Conneaut 39.............Jefferson 21 Conneaut 34..............Fairport 18 Conneaut 15.............Ashtabula 21 Conneaut 22 .......Peboes (Erie) 44 The Harbor game was later thrown out. BASEBALL The Conneaut baseball team went to Harbor on Saturday, April 21, to meet Harbor’s Baseball team. There they lost the first game, they lost for two years, losing by a score of 11-1. The fielding of the team was very good but the hitting was below par. Bell showed that he was a pitcher, although lie lasted for six innings, he did very well considering his experience. Eckles pitched a good game for Harbor. The following Saturday Conneaut went to Jefferson and beat the Ilubbitts 12-6. The hitting showed an improvement and the fielding of our team was excellent. The Jeffersonians made a total of 11 errors. Kline pitched a good game for Jefferson, while Bell showed an improvement over the Harbor game. On Saturday, May 3, Conneaut received a second defeat from the hands of Ashtabula. Richards of Ashtabula pitched a good game giving Conneaut only three hits. Bell also pitched a good game holding Ashtabula to a few hits. The fielding of both teams was very well done. Conneaut next met Geneva and beat them 10-6 showing a great improve- BASKETBALL TEAM, 1922-2 3 Top Row: W. Smith, Kolehmainen, Kauppila, Woodworth, Truelson, Kennon. Lower Row: Ritari, Brace, Watson, Punkar. BASEBALL TEAM, 1923 Top Row: Ford (Manager), Brace, Tappe, Parker, Kennon (Coach). Middle Row: Kolehmainen, Bailey, Woodworth, Truelson, Smart. Lower Row: Ritari, McMahon, Bell. June, 1923 THE TATTLER ment over the rest of the games. The fielding was very good as well as the hitting. Bell pitched a good game fanning 15 of the Geneva players. Kobleck of Geneva also pitched a good game and struck out 13 of our players. GIRLS' BASKET BALL The girls' team had a fairly good season this year. Although not winning the championship, they showed a good brand of basket ball, showing a great improvement over the former teams. The girls played 11 games, winning 5 of them. That made a total of 18 points to their opponents 168. Captain Dorothy Bacon and Rozina Phillips were placed on all county teams. Rozina Phillips was made forward on the first team and Miss Bacon was placed as center of the second team. The following girls received letters: Captain Bacon, Cossitt, Ahlberg, Prahl, Phillips, Carr, Blackman, Parker, Slater and Cook. Geraldine Carr was elected captain of the next year's girls’ team. A great deal of the credit for the showing of the girls’ team belongs to Mr. Keidel, their coach. Conneaut 0 Ex-IIighs 15 Conneaut 15 .... Conneaut 8 Conneaut 20 .... Conneaut 12 .... Conroaut 18 .... Ashtabula 27 Conneaut 15 ... Conneaut 21 ... v .. Ashtabula 8 Conneaut 26 .... Jefferson 16 Conneaut 15 .... Conneaut 20 SENIOR AWARDS IN TYPEWRITING Certificates of Efficiency Remington Underwood Gladys Speer 26 33 Esther Bacon 33 Etta Clemens 39 Jack Slaughter 45 Dorothy Bacon 44 34 Louise Darrow 33 31 Ernestine Dudley 34 Leigh Griswold 35 37 Alice Ilill 2!) 41 Edna Maring 39 Truev Marshall 34 35 Suzanna Messaros 39 Virginia Miner 44 38 Irene Montgomery 43 36 Helen Neal 41 33 Loreta Parker 38 38 Margaret Reeves 38 32 Lempi Samppi 42 36 Evangeline Fancher 28 Ruth Spicer 32 30 Cletus Kelley 41 Those who deserve special credit for receiving the Underwood Bronze Medal are: Jack Slaughter 45, Dorothy Bacon 44. Alice Hill 41, Edna Maring 46, Suzan-na Messaros 41, Virginia Miner 48, Loreta Parker 40, Lempi Samppi 46. Edna Maring qualified for the card ease given by the Remington Typewriter Company by writing 48 words per minute for ten minutes. All Remington tests are ten minutes while Underwood tests are fifteen minutes. Each Senior received a Certificate. GIRLS’ BASKETBALL, 1922-23 Top Row: Mr. Keidel (coach). Carr, Parker, Cossitt. Middle Row: Cook, Bacon, Prahl, Ahlberg Lower Row: Blackman, Phillips, Slater. TRACK TEAM, 1923 Top Row: Dunnington, Truelson, Griswold. Second Row: Blackman (Manager), Brace Woodworth, Kennon (Coach). Third Row: Means, Goulding, King, Carroll. Last Row: Roberts, Ford, Watson. Class H-cttvntlcs CLASS ACTIVITIES One Junior, when asked what activities the Junior class had participated in, said, “Aw, they ain’t done nothing.” How true this is, remains to be seen after the Junior-Senior party. So far they have had one party, Feb. 21st, which was voted a success. A pleasing entertainment was given in the Auditorium. Refreshments were served (No kidding). Dancing was enjoyed until an early hour (Early in the morning). The Juniors had an orchestra of their own composed of Maxine Morgan, Amy Horton, Doug Lyons, Gordon Green, and Mr. Gingrich. Mrs. Work and Mr. Bradley were the chaperons. The Juniors also had charge of the Tattler, put out by the underclassmen, and it was a production worthy of praise. The Juniors contributed a large amount of talent to the operetta, “The Gypsy Rover.” During the last quarter the Juniors have made up the Library staff. With these activities commending their ability a bright future is seen for them when they become the next year’s Seniors. The Sophomores as yet have not had the opportunity to show their ability to any great extent in the school activities. They have had one party which was a success. A pleasing play was given in the auditorium. A great deal of ability and talent was exhibited. The main characters were Blanche Humble, Leo Means, Norma Hammond, Dorothy Huston, Irma Myers, Cathrine King, Carlton Gee. The Sophomore orchestra played while the rest danced to its entrancing strains (Some strain). During the evening a minstrel show was given, which was greatly enjoyed by all. The Sophomores have been rather quiet this year. In decided contrast to their previous year they have made promising contributions to athletics. In fact a great deal of the future in Athletics of C. II. S. depends upon the Sophomores. The Freshman Class this jjear has proven to be a very active group. They have had both boys and girls basketball teams, a very good football team all of which have conducted themselves in such a manner that the supporters of C. II. S. have little to worry as to the future of this class. They also have had a full program this semester in social events. In addition to this many interesting Chapels were held. On Nov. 3, the upper elass girls entertained the Freshmen girls at a “Hard Times” party, sponsored by the Sigma Beta Club, ‘Tis said this was a wild, wild party with the many desperate characters there. A Thanksgiving program was given by the Afternoon School students on Nov. 29. A number of the Freshman boys and their mothers enjoyed the mother and son’s banquet given by the Hi-Y club December 15. This evening also the Freshmen girls had a party at the High school. December 21 a Xmas program including a play was given under the supervision of Miss Bryson. On the anniversary of the Birth of Abraham Lincoln a fitting program was given by the Clionian Literary society. A program on February 16, commemorating George Washington’s birthday was given by the Freshman boys in charge of Mr. Weimberg. The senior boys and the Freshman boys had a real mixer Oct., Friday the 13th. A great deal of excitement and cider (sweet) prevailed. The boys of Room 14 entertained the girls with a party at C. H. S. Saturday, Feb. 17. The Freshman girls and their mothers attended the Mother and Daughter banquet at the Congregational church, March 17. A farce “School Days’’ was given in assembly the last day before Easter vacation, by a group of the freshman. June, 1923 THE TATTLER 7!) This was a fine play and was enjoyed by many of the upperclassmen as well as the freshman. Saturday evening, April 21, the class enjoyed a Prom at C. H. S. I’nder the direction of Mrs. Loomis a music memory contest was given on Friday, May 11. The Freshman program for Memorial Day was given May 18th. An impres- sive pageant and talk by W. Pelton, a veteran of the Civil War. were included in the exercises. Altogether this has made a live peppy program for the class for the year. One which might be envied by any of the classes and without a doubt the upper classes will have to look to their laurels when the freshman enter the Morning School. A pair in a hammock Attempted to l iss And in less than a jiffy siqt 0.xo.w iCaxfj, Perhaps these jokes are stale, but smile and laugh lil e fury, You might some day be east in jail, and we’d be on the jury. Hubby—“It is strange that the biggest fools have the most beautiful wives.” Wifie—“Oh, you flatterer.” I once knew a girl so modest that she wouldn’t do improper fractions. Mr. Keidel—“Fools ask questions that wise men can’t answer.” Reba MaeFarland—“I know, that’s the reason so many of us flunked that last test.” If a pair of red lips were upturned to your own And none to gossip about it, Would you pray for assistance to let them alone? Maybe you would, but I doubt it. Elarka—“Ain’t farmers too rude for anvthing?” Richard—“Why?” “They pull the corns’ ear.” “How shocking.” Senior Proverbs: 1. Fifteen minutes before class is sufficient. 2. A Senior knows no privileges. 3. After a storm comes graduation. 4. All the excuses have never been given. 5. Speak of angels and you hear the fluttering of their wings. 6. They’ll never set the creek on fire. so THE TATTLER June, 1923 7. They agree like cats and dogs— the faculty and the students. 8. lie is worth his weight in gold— a Senior. 9. Commencement is much ado about nothing. DON'TS TABLE DON'TS Don’t overload your fork. Use a tablespoon. Don’t drink your coffee out of a saucer. It stretches your mouth. Don’t eat spaghetti without using splashers. Think of a Ford on a country road. SPEECH DON'TS Don’t sav yes when you mean uh-huh. Don’t use English when American is just as good. Don’t say “Get me,” for, “Did you catch the drift of the avalanche which detached itself from my storehouse of information and rolled its ponderous course down the steep of my sharpened lingual member?” MAJOR-GENERAL DON’TS Don’t whisper in Assembly, shouting attracts more attention. Don’t neglect to thank a person who holds a door open for you. It is possible that he is not paid for doing it. Don’t be over familiar with the boys—remember their hands are usually dirty and laundry is expensive. Cody—“I suppose you dance?” II. Armstrong—“Oh. yes, I love to (O).” Cody—“All right then, we’ll love.’ Gordon Green—“Do you know what I'm going to be when 1 graduate?” Griswold—“No, what?” Green—“An old man.” Posted in a woman’s college by instructress in astronomy. “Anyone wishing to look at Venus, please see me.” Ed Ford—“This cold weather chills me to the bone.” Max Downer—“You should wear a hat.” Greenman—“There's something important going around.” Marie, (absently)—“Be careful, there’s some pins in my waist.” Can I hold you Palm Olive? Not on your Life Buoy. “Goin’ in that house over there?” asked the 1st tramp. “I tried that house last week,” said the second. “I ain’t going there anymore.” “Fraid on account of the dog?” “Me trousers are.” “Trousers are what?” “Frayed on account of the dog.” Faye Carmichael—“That dance made me dizzy, let’s sit down.” Hankins—“All right. 1 know a nice dark corner out on the porch.” Faye—“Thanks just the same—but I’m not quite as dizzy as all that.” The farmer’s son who was away at college, had written home that he had learned to fence. His dad immediately wired back: “Glad to hear it. Come home at once. We’re just starting to put one around the ten-acre pasture lot. She (sipping tea)—“Isn't this delicious?” He (absently)—“I love to take tea with a little lemon.” Said A 2 U 1 C V R Inclined 2 B A J. Said B 2 A Your mind I C Shows signs of slight D K. Dumb—“Say old man, did I ever tell you about the awful fright 1 got on my wedding day?” Bell—“S-s-h-h ! No man should speak that way of his wife.” June, 1923 THE TATTLER 81 Mr. Gingritch—“What great problem confronts Edison in making an apparatus to communicate with the dead?’’ Hi Hews—“Getting wire that will resist the heat.” “Maybe that will hold you for awhile.” said Nebuchadnezzer as he hitched his horse to a pyramid. Tinker—“Are you trying to make a fool out of me?” “No. 1 never interfere with nature.” Truelson—“What’s the largest diamond---?” McKenzie—“The ace of diamond.” Mr. Bail—“I’m tempted to give you a test.” O’Brien—“Yield not to temptation.” Mr. Kennon (in U. S. History) — “What did Columbus stop at the Canary Island for?” ('has. (.race—“To get coal.” Mr. Hundertmark—“What is a coat of mail?” Calkins—“I know, its a Knight shirt.” Miss Peck—“Whom did Browning marry?” Elizabeth Prescott—“Mrs. Browning.” “So she didn’t accept you when you proposed?” “Sure she did.” “But you said she threw you down.” “She did. and held me there until I gave her the ring.” Following the cold he contracted pneumonia. Moral—Never follow a cold. Miss Johnson—“Who can name one organ of the body?” Blanche Humble—■ ‘Teeth. ’’ “What kind of an organ are they?” “A grind-organ.” When we die bury us deep, Place our Virgil books at our feet; Place our scansion at our head Then ask Miss Work why we’re dead. -------------- If ignorance were bliss, some of us would go mad from sheer happiness. K. Borden—“You seem rather-er-distant tonight.” Lucille—“Well, your chair isn’t nailed to the floor, is it?” “What isle is noted f � r its internal improvements?” “Caster-ile.” Mr. Kennon—“Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?” Henry Benson—“At the bottom.” “Where’s that fly paper I put on the table?” asked Mrs. Humble? Richard—“I put it on the arm of the chair and now you’ll find part of it on Douglas’ arm and the rest on sister’s back. Aleck Smart—“What must a man be to be with military honor?” Derwin Ely—“He must be a captain.” “Then I lose my bet.” “What did you bet?” “I bet he must be dead.” Passenger—“Why don’t you put your foot where it belongs?” Tough Guy—“If I did you wouldn’t he able to set down for a week.” Miss Peck (in Caesar)—“You’re literal. ou don’t read enough between the line.” Hakanson—“I can’t very well. It’s half erased.” Whom did the mermaids flirt with? The swells of the ocean. “Me had a contest to decide the prettiest girl in our graduating glass of 400.” “How did it come out?” “One girl got two votes.” THE TATTLER June, 1923 S2 WHO'S WHO Janies Cecil Percivale Mont fort Smith, descendant of family of Skunk-Trappers, Lord of Estate of Algebra IX A, Count of Parlor Snakes, Duke of Speedsters. formerly occupied the most High Honorable Position of Coal-Shoveler at the Mitchell Hardware Company, Keeper of the Forest Preserves of Ashtabula County (including Bagnall’s Pond), Circulating Manager of the Ashtabula Star Beacon. Mile. Margaret Gwendolyn Guinevere vonne Reeves, l.eadimr Stenographer in the Senior Play. Champion Rope Jumper, Most Excellent Hi-Priestess of the National Gum Chewers Association. Descendant of Cleopatra, inheriting all of the aforesaid mentioned stock of wiles (including Anton—-y). Probably will inak brilliant marriage with the multi-millionaire, John Jacob Astor, due to her great beauty. Sir Augustus Dudley Charlemagne Lancelot Robin Hood Bell. Lord of Secret Society of Pie-Eaters, Grand isier to President of the organization of Garrulous Grumblers, Peer of Pow-erful Pitchers, Great High Mogul of the Red Headed League. Senorita Prances Zeita Amalita Paul-etta Rose, Prima Donna of the Kingsville Grand Opera Company, National President of the Gossip Club, Chief Secretary of the Questionnaire Department of C. II. S. Also Leading Lady of the most celebrated tragedv of the year. “THE WORRY.” Hon. G. Gordon Flamingos Octavius Green. Champion of Hick Portrayals, High Monkey-Monk of Crazy Cackles, Marathon Endurance (SCHOOL) Winner, Eminent Tripper of the Lite Fantastic, once known to have had his name on C. H. S. Honor Roll, thereby winning the meager sum of $25 as suitable reward. Lord Earl Vivian Pembroke Sambo Rudolph Hankins, Chief Strummer of Banjoes. Official Warbler of “Kiss Mama, Kiss Papa.” Piano Soloist with C. II. S. Sympathy Orchestra, once known to have traveled with Bill Bun-kem’s Famous Circus as Chief Tent Pole. Lord Hankins is noted for his brite and cherry disposition and usually spends his summer vacations at Long Beach, Alaska, reclining at ease in a wheel chair on account of the labor it takes to sit up strait. Virginia M.—“Are you familiar with the score of this opera?” Dud B.—“No. But never mind the score—just so it doesn’t go extra innings.” Every man should take the color of bis hair as the key for his clothes. Black hair, black clothes; brown hair, brown clothes. What would my husband do? He is as bald as a billiard ball. LATEST SONG HIT E. Prescott—“My face is my fortune.” C. Bailey—“Thank God, I have my brains.” DUETTO I ord it’s rotten to be poor. “Fat” Green (standing in front of J. Brace who has fallen on the ice)— “They say fools stand in slippery places.” F. Brace—“I see they do, but I am a goat if T can.” La Verne G—“Would you accept a pet monkey?” Marie M—“Oh! T would have to ask father. This is so sudden.” THE SENIOR’S CREED When ice cream grows on cherry trees And Sahara’s sands grow muddy. When cats and dogs wear B. V. D.’s Then’s when T like to study. June, 1923 THE TATTLER 3 A newly invented clock has been patented for a Ford so that when the machine reaches the speed of thirty miles per hour a cuckoo comes out to sing: “Nearer My God To Thee.” Barton (at piano recital)—“What is that charming thing he is playing?” Murphy—“A piano, yuh dub.” Mr. Kennon—“What was the Sherman act?” John Brace—“Marching Through Georgia.” The wrist watch may come And the wrist watch may go But the ankle watch goes on forever. V. Miner—“I sure knocked ’em cold in my exam.” M. Truelson—“Whatja get?” V. Miner—“Zero.” John Cherry—“May I have the next dance ?” “Tony” Rajala—“Yes, if you can find a partner.” Bailey—“Tell me all you know; it won’t take long.” “Thanks.” “Oh. that’s all right.” Bud—“What does the ‘Ex.’ mean after a joke.” Ray—“It means exchange—why?” Bud—“Oh, 1 thought it meant extinct.” Growing Up. Freshman—“I did not comprehend the nature of the interrogation.” Sophomore—“I did not hear the question.” Junior—“What ?” Senior—“Huh?” Two lovers sat side by side Beside the sunny seaside, He sighed; she sighed; they both sighed, Side by side beside the sunny seaside. 84 THE TATTLER June, 1923 Chevrolet Cars India Tires THE CITY GARAGE CO. Expert Repairing Accessories I take this opportunity to thank the 1923 class and other classes for their liberal patronage. Walk-Over Shoes Tours very truly. E. C. THAYER R. S. WORK, Photographer 216 Main St. 181-183 Broad Street BOSTONIANS Famous Shoe for Men RALPH H. PITCHER w. E. KEARNEY CO. Jeweler John Kelly Shoes for Women 246 Main St. Jeweler Ecoma Ice Cream Eat At The Crane Chocolates C. ESTERHAY (Waiting Station) CONNEAUT RESTAURANT 206 Main St. June, 1923 THE TATTLER H.j THE PEETON STORE We have just received new youthful models in summer dresses, sport skirts and jackets for your summer vacation. THE A. W. PELTON CO. The Macey Sectional Bookcase Is The Student’s Friend A place for every book and so easy to keep in place THE SIMONDS BENNETT CO. Home Outfitters THOMAS RAJALA Groceries SG THE TATTLER June. l'J23 SPORTING GOODS “CREAMERIE’’ ICE CREAM Made in Conneaut e have the necessary equipment for Tennis, Golf, Baseball and Fishing. MITCHELL HARDWARE CO. WHERE SUCCESS BEGINS The road to success begins at the savings window. Kcdaks—Dunn Penns—Redipoints Pencils—Rexal Remedies and all advertised Drug Store How early you win yours depends on how often you deposit. Merchandise We appreciate your business — == BRADY G. WILLIAMS THE CONNEAUT MUTUAL LOAN TRUST CO. Successor to Whitmore Pontius Let us develop and print your films I)R. BELL I)R. BOOTH Expert Shoe Repairing DR. CRANDALL D VALET SERVICE 255 Main St. Victrolas Brunswicks H. B. KURTZ Jeweler Victrola Records Brunswick Records THE JOSLIN STUDIO Edison Phonographs Records—Art Pictures THE CONNEAUT DRUG CO Sheet Music—Player Rolls 207 Main Street Faces fade, and the people we once knew, some of them, are gone forever. Children grow up and go away. The old house is torn down. The pets die or disappear. The time to take the picture is when you see it. The historic value of things, fixed in the form of a photograph, is beyond price.” VINTON N. HERRON Portraits by Photograph 40 Center Street Ashtabula, Ohio CONNEAUT SUGAR BOWL DEVOE PAINT Spero Treas H. 1). THAYER THE TATTLER June, 1923 88 THE G. M. WHITNEY CO. Conneaut, Ohio GET THE GOOD CLOTHES HABIT Style’s a good habit; most young men have it; they want all the good style they can get. Smart looking fabrics, rieh coloring, fine tailoring are the essentials. Most habits are expensive. The good clothes habit brings you pleasures; but best of all, it saves your money. They wear so much longer, it’s real economy. Wear Good Clothes And Save THE G. M. WHITNEY CO. Don’t Forget CHURCHILL STUDIO 218 1-2 Main St. Over Hoover Bond Phone Main-1651 Ashtabula, Ohio HORTON STEVENS Wall Paper, Linoleums, Rugs, and Lawrence Paints. CITY MARKET HOUSE Largest retail dealer in FRUITS AND VEGETABLES Conneaut’s Progressive Store A. L. DRY GOODS CO. BOSTON STORE All on Main St. June, 1923 THE TATTLER 89 THIS PROGRESSIVE BANK recognizes that its progress hinges on the financial growth of this community. So it’s perfectly natural for it to he interested in the progress of each citizen. Consequently, for our mutual benefit, this bank offers its cooperation and invites your account. THE CITIZENS BANKING TRUST CO. W atches Jewelry GET YOUR HARDWARE the loomis McLaughlin COMPANY GEORGE T. ARTHURS — at — “Dependable Jewelers” Phone 1855-Main Silverware Cut Glass FORD HARVEY Rugs. Linoleums and Curtain T8 •A Materials 90 TIIE TATTLER June. 1923 YOU WOULDN’T DRINK FROM YOUR SAUCER Of course not. It isn't done. It’s bad form. But do you realize that carelessly written letters on slovenly or out-of-date paper is just as bad form? It’s the easiest thing in the world to have correct paper, for in all the correct sizes, shapes and shades is always obtainable here. “Style is a greater social asset than Beauty” THE CONNEAUT PRINTING CO. CONNEAUT, OHIO CRANE’S PAPERS F. L. MATSON L. A. EATON SONS Jeweler and Watchmaker Florists Agent for Gruen Watches Store New Dorman Block Conneaut, Ohio Phone 1713-Main For Quick Shoe Repair CALL F. H. GATES Laundry THE UNIVERSAL 187 Broad Street Dry Cleaning Pressing 213 Harbor St. THE CONNEAUT ELECTRIC SERVICE COMPANY Dependable Electrical Merchandise 251 Main Street