Conneaut High School - Tattler Yearbook (Conneaut, OH)

Page 32 text:

28 THE TATTLER June. 1922 rust, “bust.’' wear, or tear. It was also assisted by sails. After being assigned to a berth Johnny began a tour of inspection which was called short by the ensign’s order, “All hands on deck.' Johnny, eager to make a good impression, hastened to the deck and bending over placed his hands on the deck. Then some impudent rascal tramped on them and the ensign seeing Johnny's attitude charged across the deck with a roar of wrath and propelled Johnny into the nearest air shaft with his foot. After he had climbed out the ensign ordered him to remove the gang plank. Johnny procured an axe and standing in the middle of the plank at last by dint of hard labor succeeded in cutting the plank in two which action precipitated him into the water. After swallowing about a gallon of water he climbed aboard again. In the meantime the rest of the crew having completed Walter Camp’s “Daily Dozen,” the captain shouted, “Weigh Anchor.” Frantically, Johnny dashed about the ship looking for the scales but could not find them so lie wandered about until lie was ordered to run up the sails, lie informed the officer in charge that this was an impossibility because he was no monkey. The officer replied that he certainly was not. seemingly belonging to the baboon variety. He was then assigned to the engine room as gasoline passer. By this time the ship had progressed fifteen miles, a new record for the navy. At last after a hard day of labor at the engines came the order for mess. The sailors were served a very good banquet by the Red Cross via the radio route and then were ordered to turn in. Johnny didn't know what this order meant so he waited and watched the other sailors. lie saw an officer approach and say to the new sailors. “Sling your hammocks here.” Hearing this Johnny heaved his hammock in that direction ami bowled over six sailors. They immediately retaliated by duel ing him in the bilge. After this little adventure Johnny slung his hammock in the approved fashion and attempted to crawl in. After performing several acrobatic feats he tied himself in and fell into a loud slumber. It seemed to Johnny that he had been sleeping about five minutes when suddenly the fire gong sounded. He twisted himself from the rope with which lie had tied himself in and dashed to the nearest fire hose. He turned it on full blast and proceeded to wash the ship thoroughly and in so doing dampened the spirits of the crew considerably. Hearing a loud shout from the direction of the captain's quarters Johnny twisted the hose in that direction and provided that worthy individual with a shower bath. Finally about dawn they succeeded in impressing the fact upon Johnny that there was no fire but that the alarm had been given merely for drill. The next day about noon the lookout in the engine room sighted a pirate ship and they gave chase. With their giant guns making things merry for the pirates they soon overtook them and threw the grappling hooks aboard. Then Johnny dashed aboard the pirate ship swinging a huge knotted towel. With one swing of his terrible weapon he prostrated a dozen pirates. Then the champion bean eater of tin pirates swatted the captain of the “Flash” across the mouth with a banana peel. The captain fainted. Johnny with great presence of mind dashed up to the referee and called fifteen minutes time for lunch. After this intermission they began to fight again. Johnny filled one of the guns with marshmallows and then plastered the pirate ship with them. About seventeen pirates were knocked unconscious by the terrible pellets and the remaining pirates forfeited the fight. As the gobs were dancing up and down celebrating their

Page 31 text:

June. 1922 THE TATTLER 27 One afternoon as the two were sitting on a rock near Clear Creek. .lack asked her if she would do something for the people of Winslow, a nearby town. He was helping them get up a benefit concert and although they had several talented people on the program they wished her to play. Several people had heard that she was a fine violinist. “This is a wonderful chance to do something for these western people,” said Jack. Jean promised she would play. Why hadn’t she ever played since she came to Arizona? At last she could in a small measure repay the kindness shown lier. The night of the concert Jean was very nervous. All thoughts of personal glory had left her mind, but she was worried for fear she would not please her men friends. She played as in a dream and scarcely heard the hearty applause, but the look in Jack’s eyes and the words of praise. “It was wonderful, little girl,” which Mr. Brown whispered to her. She had hardly recognized her own tones. On trying to please others she had at last forgotten her own self while playing. There was soul in her music now. She was feeling just a bit lonesome because it was the first time she had ever played in public without her mother or father. Suddenly she heard a beloved voice and looking saw her father standing with outstretched arms. The Browns had telegraphed to him. and unknown to Jean he had heard the concert. She disliked to leave Arizona and promised she would return for visits us often as possible, but at last, she was going home. One year in Arizona had given her the longed for something which the critic had said she lacked. The east and a career as a violinist at last. MAXINE MORGAN, 24. THE ADVENTUROUS “GOB John Bingles. Esq., of Peppersburg, Iowa, had decided to join the navy. He had seen a poster at the post office which said, '‘Uncle Sam wants you.” After a deep deliberation of ten minutes in which he signed the questions pro and con he had decided the sailor’s life was the only one for him. He came from good salt water stock for his grandfather had captained a prairie schooner across the plains in 1849. Therefore he at once set out for the nearest recruiting station and tiled an application. The recruiting officer asked him. “How much does a 16 pound shot weigh?” “I dunno,” replied Johnny. “Well, then, what time does the twelve o’clock train go?” asked the officer. “Oh. twelve pounds,” replied Johnny, a great light dawning upon him. After this Johnny and several other young men with the same desire were shipped Parcel Post to Newport News and there were assigned to the nearest and most modern battleship ever constructed. “The Ford Flash,” guaranteed non-sinknhle if kept water tight. This ship was three hundred feet long with a narrow tapering bow measuring fifty feet across and easily ran at the amazing speed of eight knots per hour. It was armed with four twenty centimeter guns, fore and aft, capable of throwing a sixteen pound shell a distance of twenty-five feet. It was also coated with rubber to the depth of three feet. Its motive power consisted of four Ford engines guaranteed not to

Page 33 text:

June. 1922 THB TATTLER 29 prreat victory, one of them accidentally kicked a hole in the “Flash” and the sea began to pour in. After careful computation the ensign guessed that the ship would sink in six months or a year and must be abandoned immediately. Johnny hastened to the nearest life raft and began to pile on Heinz's 57 and Campbell's at a great rate. He also took some root beer and Coca Cola, then he shoved off. The raft hit the water bottom side up with a loud splash but he did not let this bother him because lie had stuek each can on with some gum. The next day about noon feeling somewhat hungry, he reached under the raft and brought up two cans of soup. Then he made a most horrible discovery, he had forgotten a can opener. Heedless of bending them he knocked the cans about on the raft but could not get at the contents. He could not drink the pop because he would have to break the bottles and this was prohibited by law because there were too many punctures received from broken glass. That night Johnny awakened just in time to see a large ship sailing by. Frantically he waved his arms and then standing on his hands waved his feet but was not able to attract their attention. Finally after the ship was a mile away he remembered that lie had forgotten to yell. He made up for lost time at once but to no avail. By this time Johnny had thought of an excellent idea. After taking a drink from the spring in his watch he sailed back to the abandoned “Flash.” He looked about the ship and found the cabin boy sleeping peacefully in the captain's quarters. Johnny routed him out and nominated him to the engine crew. He decked himself out in the captain’s uniform and gave orders in a gallant manner. After a peaceful night’s sleep and a good feed In- told the cabin boy how to fire the engines and ordered him to do it. The boy descended to the engine room while Johnny mounted the bridge. Suddenly there was a terrific explosion and the cabin boy and Johnny mounted skyward at an amazing rate. However, as they were descending they fell in a seaplane and were saved from getting wet. suffering only a broken rib and one broken toe. The plane conveyed them back to port and after Johnny recovered he was decorated with a tin medal for being the champion bonehead of the naw and was then assigned to a submarine as deckhand. DT’DIJSY BELL. ’23. FAREWELL TO C. H. S. Old C. II. S. I must say good-bye. This thought brings tears to my eyes. I have been tired of you and tired of life. But always there was a joy to erase the strife. Good-bye dear school, my heart grows sore To think that with you, I can be no more. Old C. H. 8. fond memories you hold. Many of my pranks have not been told That 1 have done and the teachers never knew, But dear school I have been loyal to you. Four short years I have toiled for you, But now the time has come to say adieu. Old C. II. S. 1 have done my share. Borne your burdens and played fair; Soon I will receive my reward For all the knowledge 1 have twed to hoard. Farewell to thee, oh halls of bliss. Farewell old school of happiness. KT'LALA LEWIS. ’22