Conneaut High School - Tattler Yearbook (Conneaut, OH)

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THE TATTLER 23 Mildred A. (in English IV.)—“Thackeray’s father died when he was six years old.” Gladys A. to Mr. Smith:—“Can a little blind chicken peep?” Carlyle H. (to James who is coming down stairs with his basketball suit on):—“Are you going to play basketball, Jimmy?” James:—“No, I’m taking out an insurance policy for my favorite tapeworm.” A hair in the head is worth two in the brush. —Mr. Henry. Matrimony may be a good speculation, but it is not well for girls to stay too long on the market. —Miss Hodge. Mr. Henry:—“Name some vegetable oils?” Harry P.:—“Whale oil.” Mr. Helman:—“Can you name a trust?” May C.:—“The Beef trust.” You can easily see where May’s mind is. C. Childs:—“Lois, I know someone up town who would dye for you.” Lois C.:—“Who is it?” C. Childs:—“Barskv Bros.” (Dyers). Miss Ford:—“I believe I should die if every one had their lesson.” Helen M.:—“Let’s all have our lesson tomorrow.” Mr. Randall (In Geom):—“If Miss Benton has no objections, I will remodel her form.” Miss B. (Tn German):—“What is the gender of lace?” Roy B.:—“Feminine.” A FEW WISE SAYINGS BY THE FACULTY. Roosters do a lot of crowing but it is the hen that meets the demand for eggs. Having never told a lie. George Washington decided not to write his own autobiography. Tt is said Washington died lying. Mr. Henry to .Tite (who had complained about his Chemistry mark):— “The trouble is, Sajito, you didn’t curl your hair on the right side this morning.” Miss Leet:—“You can’t make two apples equal two beeta.” Dick Wyman:—“If I had two apples I would beat it.”

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22 THE TATTLER I clasped her to my heart, my own, My ecstasy no tongue could speak, That moment, I’d have scorned a throne, When in my ear My Mida dear, Said: “What’s your wages, Mike, a week?” V. Cantlin: “Maw, I want you to stop bossing Paw around, until after I get married.” Mother: “Why, I should like to know?” V. C.: “Just as soon as I get a little bit intimate with a young man, they begin to ask me if I take after you.” THE .TFNTOR’S CRY. Ashes to ashes. Dust to dust; We’ve passed in Geometry, In Algebra we must. Before the debate, Micky asked Mr. Helman where the judges were going to sit. Mr. Helman: “Why, I think we will set them------- Now' if they are going to “set” anything in the auditorium, they will have to raise tihe temperature at least a few degrees more than it has been all winter. From a certain senior boy to a certain senior girl. Fraulein:—Du bist ein susses Madchen. Weisst du nicht? Magst du ein Breifenhen schrieben zu mir? Leeen sie weiter und uberstetzen und dann antworte es. (Lieben Sie mich nicht?)—A. B. Prof. Smith carrying a cradle, was stopped by an old woman and thus accosted: “So, sir, you have got some of the fruits of matrimony.” Prof. Smith (softly). “Old Lady, you are mistaken, this is only a fruit basket.” “No, Harriet, it isn’t only the milk trains that are supplied with cowcatchers.” Miss Burrington:—“The lesson for today in Julius Shakespeari Leach, he had a stocking cap, He sent it to the dyers, To have it changed from white to blue: Now look at the damn thing. R. Goebricher (to Mr. Henry, who is making an experiment)—“What are you doing?” Mr. Henry—“Making a pair of pants for a fish.”

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24 THE TATTLER MISS BAIN. There was an art teacher named Bain, Who’d paint in the sunshine or rain: She’d paint all the day. And I have hear say That she’d paint in the evening again. MISS KAHLER. Miss Kahler is really quite nice. Of her mind she can give you a slice; She’s wrapped in a cloak But can take a good joke; But wihen angry, her looks will suffice. MRS. HOWARD. Mrs. Howard now comes to my mind Few teachers we find are so kind; We learn to make bread Which is not like lead And tastes really good, we find. MISS FORD. Miss Ford now comes to my mind; Yes, she is a school teacher too. But for not very long. If I am not wrong, But about it I cannot tell you. MISS RFRRIXGTON. There was a young teacher named Ruth. An idea she had in her tooth To buy a fruit farm, A shelter from barm— But where was the money? Forsooth. MISS HODGE. Then there was our friend Miss Hodge. Latin in our minds she would lodge. Which some cannot get. Can’t tell atque from et, And her furious glances they dodge. MISS LEET. And there once was a teacher named Leet, Who wanted to raises peaches sweet, And so this school marm She bought a fruit farm, And soon her nice peaches wTe’ll eat. MISS JONES. Next here comes Miss Jones, or Blanche. Who’d rather not live on a ranch Like aforesaid Miss Leet. Or Miss Barrington sweet. But live in a mansion perchance