High School of Commerce - Caduceus Yearbook (Springfield, MA)

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Senior Home Room Teachers STANDING — Mr. Harold W. Jones, Mr. Carl R. Stone, Mr. Gilbert Walker. MISLEADING NAMES “What is in a name? That which we call a rose by any Does William Shake- speare, by that assertion, seem to imply that names not only other name would smell as sweet.” are insignificant, but possibly misleading? If so, he would have found proof for his theory in Commerce: some mem- For example, while Mrs. Bartlett of Room 221 in no way resem- bers of the faculty do carry strange cognomens! bles the popular Bartlett pear, she certainly is a peach! Nor does Mr. Clancey, despite his cheerful nature, conform to the hot-tempered Clancey who “lowers the boom.” Furthermore, who wouldn't agree that the designation Tom Collins is deceptive? That outstanding athlete never would indulge! Likewise inappropriate, Miss Bowling-Champ Dowd, far from being a dowd-y woman, always is impec- cably groomed. Other faculty names also suggest amusingly false deduc- tions. To illustrate, orderly Miss Hunt never needs to hunt for her belongings; and gentle, amicable Miss Hyde doesn’t slightly resemble Stevenson’s fictitious monster, Mr. Hyde, Dr. Jekyll’s alter ego. Similarly misleading is the name of Miss Jenks; very decorous in her speech and manner, no trait of this teacher would make one recall the boisterous “Cap- tain Jenks of the Horse Marines.” Nor, indeed, would friendly, kind-hearted Miss Lynch ever be accused of lynch- ing her students! These misnomers are further exemplified by peaceful Miss Marsden. Could the wildest imagination picture her as a Martian from Orson Wells’ historical broadcast featuring Mar’s-den? Moreover, while Mr. Miller’s hands do carry a little dust from his constant use of chalk, he does not : otherwise resemble a miller. [6] SEATED — Miss Mildred C. Dobbs, Miss Madeline C. Hunt, Miss Helen E. Rankin, Miss Alice M. Smith, Miss Mary G. Conway. Would anyone meeting the lenient, hatless Miss Perkins associate her with the famous Secretary of Labor, Frances Perkins, popularly remembered for her implacable nature and 1900 model chapeau? Nor, indeed, could the mighty little Caduceus adviser claim descent from the Scotchman who invenied the Rankin cycle, “one having no compression . and much less efficient when steam is superheated.” H. E. R. works up much compression and acts quite efficiently when , FE. R. steam is superheated! A still better-known name is that of shriveled Rumpelstiltskin. Very different is the Commerce Rumpal; some afternoon just watch that muscular man as he coaches baseball or freshman basket- ball! Isn’t another deceiving cognomen held by Miss Smith? Although English never penetrates some heads by gentle methods, this gentle teacher hardly could be imagined forg- ing skulls with a hammer in a smith-y. Then, too, Mr. Stone suggests an adamant man; but the students find the one in 118 very easily moved. His fellow history instructor, Mr. Taylor, although showing an interest when his wife designs costumes for his Hi-Y plays, never has evidenced a desire to tailor his own suits. Still other humorous misnomers incite the imagination. lor instance, Mr. Walker, unlike the derivation of his name, is not “an officer of the forest” — unless one chances to grow on his Wilbraham estate. Equally as deceptive, Miss White’s brunette locks do not contain even one visible white hair. Further illustrative of these misconceptions is Mr. Wilder; he might become excited when some amateur chem- ist’s experiment explodes, but never has he been known to grow wilder. Is further evidence essential to prove that surnames might be humorously falacious?

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OUR COUNTERSIGNS The Office Group When surnames first were adopted, so history relates, they were carefully chosen to suggest relationship, occupation, position, or perhaps a word indicative of skill or character. Even today many names are regarded as associative. This habit of correlation often has resulted in humorous mis- conceptions. For instance, what pupil browsing in the Commerce library has not been amused by the discovery of a text entitled Lveryday Uses of English, written by a man named Weseen ? Equally as unappropriate are the appellations of some of our faculty. Surely Principal S. O. S., a man well forti- fied by reserves, never would emit a signal of distress! Again, Miss Murphy, supervisor of tardy excuses, doesn’t possess the many eyes of a murphy (potato), although her Office Staff Principal Stanley O. Smith, Assistant Principal Russell L. Williams, Office Staff — Miss Alice F. Danforth, Mrs. Adolphus N. King, Miss Dorothy M. Murphy. on To TheUffica clever detection of forged notes might lead pupils to suspect that phenomenon. Her partner, Mrs. King, far from dis- playing the regal condescension suggested by her name, is modestly unassuming; while Miss Danforth, although im- maculately groomed, cannot be accused of being essential to the manufacture of cleansing fluids, despite the fact that another term for naphtha is Danforth’s oil. Although the name Williams does not suggest a confusing interpretation, his appearance might prove misleading. Surely that firm, stubbornly-held mouth and jutting chin bespeak an implacable referee, rather than our compassion- ate Mr. Williams. Equally as misleading are the names of some of the other members of the Commerce faculty.

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Junior Home Room Teachers STANDING, LEFT TO RIGHT — Mrs. Murphy, Mr. Joseph Buckley, Miss Honora F. Nelligan, Mr. Charles H. Oswald, Miss Bernice V. White. MISCHOSEN EXPRESSIONS Has everyone noticed the different habitual expressions voiced by many people? Our faculty also possess many pet phrases which seem the antithesis of their personalities. For example, Miss Briggs’ often-repeated, “We have eyes that see not and ears that hear not,” contradicts that alert teacher. who apparently sees and hears everything. Another false conception might be created by Mrs. Conrad’s, “1 could scream’; when in Commerce, little Michael’s mother never lost her patience with even her most tantalizing pupils. From Miss Dobbs’ idiom, “I kinda like,” still another mis- conception might result, for this teacher has never been indecisive concerning her preferences. Even more humorous is Miss Flynn’s pseudo-belligerent, “Oh, I'll have to get out my guns!” Her “children” know she never would harm one of them. Still other well-known comments bring chuckles to Com- merce students. “Help yourself to paper; that means ONE sheet.” Mr. Jones so often remarks. Unfortunately that man usually assigns enough homework to cover two or three pages. Similarly inappropriate, Mrs. Linden’s, “Be sure to have everything prepared,” would probably cause one to believe the Lunch Department leader to be an habitual fretter, not the perfection of optimism and self-control every- one knows her to be. Another ambiguity reiterated by Miss McCleary to her talkative pupils, “I’m not leaving until after five o'clock, and ’d LOVE to have company,” implies an interpretation not actually denoted by the wording of the invitation. Equally as delusive is Mrs. Murphy's very un- concerned, “Yes, a-hum™”; behind her sweet voice, one will find much determination, SEATED, LEFT TO RIGHT Mrs. Rena P. Bartlett, Miss Eleanor B. Hyde, Miss Susan C. Dowd. — Miss Dora M. Briggs, Miss H. Elizabeth Phelps, Miss Madeline E. Maurer, Also deceptive is Mr. Oswald’s repeated reference to “Ethel Amelia van Dorn van Oostenbrugi”; Mr. Oswald is happily married, and to a sweet little woman named Ollie. Also equivocal, Miss Phelps’, “| am very definite,” seems to denote someone didactic and prosaic; she, however, enlivens her classes by a most pleasing imagination. Moreover, our Commerce adviser’s often-repeated, “You're going to get an E unless work is in by the deadline,” suggests a strict peda- gogue; on the contrary, Miss Roberts usually maintains a lenient attitude with her students. Nor can Miss Scott’s favorite utterance, “I want eyes!” be explained; no one yet has discovered her to possess defective vision. Thus, a close perusal of the faculty’s pet expressions reveals them to be humorous, but — misleading. MORE ILLUSIONS A first glance at members of the Commerce faculty might result in other humorous deductions. Did any one, for in- stance, ever notice the delicate fingers of Miss Anderson? Although indicative of a pianist’s skill, they provide her with a more practical use, penmanship. Equally misleading, Mr. Buckley’s pert bow tie and boyish crew cut might give the impression of a dapper college man. Also deluding, Miss Bulkeley’s chic manner of dressing and her gift for conversing fluently suggest the presiding officer of a woman’s club, rather than a cooking teacher. Self-possession, delib- erate actions: might these qualities, so evident in Miss Conway, designate a gracious hostess in a large resort hotel? Yet many people insist they can guess a teacher’s vocation by his appearance!