Commerce High School - Commerce Yearbook (Cleveland, OH)

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Melania (indignantly) : “Well, I didn’t say that I was right; I just stated a point in the service.” N. B.—It took Mr. Weber ten minutes to regain his customary dignity. When Twitchell, Fisher, Mullen, and Barber, marooned thirteen miles out on the C.f P. E. line, were nearly famished for the want of something to eat and drink, Mullen managed to choke out, “Let’s cut the trolley wire and drink the juice that is in it.” Mullen went home on a stretcher that night. Mr. Gehring (in German class) : “Now I am going to run around the class.” Mr. Heald: “How far is it to the sky?” Eva: “Never been there.” Mr. Heald: “Well, maybe you will get there sometime.” Mr. Weber: “Did Myrtle drop this subject?” Student: “No, she is home sick.” Mr. Weber (who understood it as home-sick) : “Why? Didn’t she see her mother for a while?” Bright Pupil (to the secretary) : “I want to buy a vision.” Secretary (puzzled) : “Buy a vision?” Bright Pupil: “Yes, The Vision of Sir Launfal.” Peddler: “Rags, rags, rags.” Mr. Weber: “My, this must be a ragged street!” The Junior Candy Sale advertisement read as follows: DO NOT ERASE! Save Your Dimes and Quarters For Candy! THURSDAY, MARCH 5, 1914. Some extra brilliant Senior applied an eraser to this sign, and it read as follows: DO NOT RASE For Candy! MARCH. Mr. Gehring: “Danken (German for ‘thanks’) is a weak verb. Most gratitude is weak, anyway. Denken (German for ‘think’) is a mixed verb. People’s thoughts are usually mixed, you know.” After the Misses Helen and Rose Peach had entertained us at Rhetor-icals, David Klein was heard to say, “Gee whiz, first time I ever heard of two peaches making a pear.” 121

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JOKES. Mr. Gehring (in class explaining the use of “t”) : “There are three kinds of ‘t’s’ (teas) : green, black and mixed.” Mr. Gehring: “What does mixed pickles mean?” Richard Haag: “A big and a little one.” Mr. Weber: “What did the incoming of the steam engine have to do with the people?” Max Fried: “It made them more dense.” Mr. Harsh: “What did we girls learn this summer?” Mr. Heald: “If you haven’t seen a thing, you don’t know that there is such a thing. Now none of you have seen my brains. Then you don’t know I have any.” Mr. Weber: “W’here did the first cities originate?” Grace Curtis: “On the lakes.” Mr. Heald: “Give us the definition of the word ‘salmon.’ ” Louise Brown: “A marine fish.” Mr. Gehring (urging room agents to get subscriptions for the Annual) : “Now selling is right in your line, you might be selling automobiles or aeroplanes when you get out of school. Yes, aeroplanes that some of you run by hot air.” Mr. Weber: “Melania, what is the difference between the American-plan and the European-plan in a hotel?” Melania: “Oh-a-a-a, now in the American-plan in hotels, they serve turkey first on Thanksgiving Day, and in the European-plan, they serve oysters first.” (Class in uproar.) iso

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One evening as Mr. Curry was sitting in the office of the school as principal of night school the telephone bell rang. Mr. Curry answered, and the following conversation took place: Mr. Curry: “Hello!” Unknown: “Is this the High School of Commerce?” Mr. Curry: “Yes.” Unknown: “Would you please call Mr. Curry to the 'phone?” Mr. Curry: “This is Mr. Curry talking.” Unknown: “Mr. J. S. Curry?” Mr. Curry: “Yes.” Unknown: “Mr. James S. Curry?” Mr. Curry: “Yes.” Unknown: “Mr. James S. Curry, the author of the Euclid Shorthand Manual?” Mr. Curry: “Yes.” Unknown: “Mr. James S. Curry, the author of the Columbian Dictation Manual?” Mr. Curry: “Yes.” Unknown: “Mr. Curry, this is the Illuminating Company talking. Would you be so kind as to see if the corner lamp is burning?” Mr. Curry: “Certainly.” Mr. Curry goes to the window and looks out at the lamp which is burning brightly, then proceeds to the 'phone. Mr. Curry: “Hello! Yes, the lamp is burning all right.” Unknown: “Are you sure? Won't you please go and see again to make sure?” Mr. Curry (dubiously) : “All right.” He then walked to the window, surveyed the lamp from several angles and again went back to the 'phone. Mr. Curry: “Yes, I am sure the lamp is lit and burning all right.” Unknown: “Will you kindly blow it out?” Mr. Curry sat down rather suddenly, as he felt somewhat faint. ADVERTISEMENTS. WARNING: All persons are warned against buying, receiving as a gift or appropriating the following described property, to wit: The phrase “that much,” recognized as the exclusive property of a prominent member of Commerce High; the words “Mr. W. failed me,” a favorite and pet expression of a few members of the Economics' Class; “between you and I,” known the wforld over by its being branded as always belonging to poor grammarians; “the third last,” an artistic word-scheme, manufactured for and used exclusively by people who see impossibilities as actualities; “all the further I got,” a group of words meaningless in themselves, but of dire nature, patented for the use of people who own “they don’t know where they are at.” 12