Commerce High School - Commerce Yearbook (Cleveland, OH)

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Mr. Gordon: What would you do if you had a million dollars? Harvey Noss to Arthur Haas: Match pennies. Mr. Gordon: What kind of utility does a sculptor produce? Dorothy Decker: Form Utility. Mr. Harsh was asked by one of his Junior pupils, “'What is chemistry, a fruit or a vegetable,” and he came back with this witty reply, “Neither, it is a plant, a chemist-tree.” In chemistry test: What is the product of melting together two or more metals called? John Mayer: Bi-metallism. In the IA Physics Test, two different kinds of pumps were to be diagrammed. One of the boys drew one puinp, but couldn’t draw the other, so he raised his hand and said, “Mr. Dutton, I’ve got one pump drawn, what kind shall I draw for the second?” Mr. Dutton replied, “Joe, I really ought not to tell you, it being an examination, but you can draw a dancing pump for the second.” In Commercial Law: If a farmer delivers to a Railroad Co. a lot of chickens and a strike should break out, what should the company do with the chickens? A thoughtful boy: Send them to a pasture. Boy: Do stationary engines go? Mr. Johnston: What does stationary mean? Boy: Writing paper. Mr. Dutton: Once I thought the ice man was giving me short measure. I weighed the ice and found that he gave me over-weight. Joe Smolik (who is honest) : Why didn’t you return it? Mr. Gordon (Commercial Law) : What is an affidavit? Rose: Why, it’s swearing. (Followed by an uproar from the class). Mr. Johnston (to a class in American History): Do you know that these desks are the same in Congress? Well, they are, only different. Mr. Heald: What’s the difference between willingly and resistingly? Jim Donnelly: Why, a girl might be willing, yet resist. (An uproar). Mr. Heald: James, your knowledge is way beyond your years. Mr. Weber ( in municipal activities): How can you make a street more attractive ? Celia Friedman: By putting all the poles and wires underground. 117

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Mr. Creig: When will a note be due if it »s made on Dec. 31, and is payable two months after date? Robert Morehead: On February thirty-first. Mr. Dutton let some electric current pass through Abraham Shochtowitz. Therefore, he put the “Shock” in Schochtowitz. Jake: “Why isn’t “Zeit” masculine? Mr. Gehring: Why isn’t “Maedchen” feminine? Jake: Well, it means Grandfather time. Mr. Gehring: Maybe it is Grandmother time. Mr. Gordon (in economics class) : In 1830 a man bought a quarter acre of land in Chicago for $20, and now it is worth over $1,000,000. Albert Mendclson (aside): Is there any more of that land around there? Win. McMillen: I want a nickel’s worth. In salesmanship class of thirty-five. Mr. Hoover dictating, “Let us stop a moment.” Thirty-four pupils put thirty-four pens down, the other had a pencil. At the senior meeting. Ed Day makes report of the financial condition of the senior class: As far as the report is concerned only six seniors have paid their dues and they are all boys except two, who are girls. liii

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To the Girls. To increase beauty, spend about twenty minutes each day exercising on a trape .c or Hying ring. If trapeze or Hying rings are not available, turn on the electric light. What is the strongest day in the week? Sunday, all the rest are week days. Russon (after banking): Oh, for why was I born? Bill McMillen: For nothing, only to help Cleveland get a million in 1920. Mr. Gordon: For example, if any of you had to go over to the courthouse for a marriage license, what would you have to do? Esther Weissman: Why, you’d have to swear. Mr. Gordon: Hardly, before you are married, Esther; it may be different after several months. Mr. Gehring (in room 6): Isn’t it true, Louis, that we live on land? Louis: No. Mr. Gehring: Well, what’s under us? Louis: The Gymnasium. Mr. Weber (in commercial law) : How are partnerships dissolved? Raymond Reehorst: In water. Mr. Gordon (in economies class): Suppose an Eskimo were brought to the May Co., what would he select first? Ed Day: Some fur. Mr. Gordon: What fur? Tracy Spencer (as Duncan in Macbeth): Let me infold thee and hold thee to my heart. Hazel Reilley (as Banquo): There if I grow, the harvest is your own. Miss Amidon: Who was king of England when Shakespeare lived? T. Spencer: Queen Elizabeth. (Followed by an uproar of the class.) Jacob Bernstein: Well, that’s right, isn’t it? Why is the Commerce-Tech game like a course in commercial law? It’s too Technical. A game lost, but a victory won, Was the game we played with Tech. The spirit shown by the boys alone. Has saved many a team from wreck. A. Haas, ’13. 118