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Page 143 text:
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Arthur Haas: “Mr. Hoover, I'm awfully sorry, but I can't stay for the orchestra rehearsal, tonight. Mr. Hoover: “Then who will play the drums? Arthur: “Let the base drum. Frieda Lucht: “Can I go up and see Mr. Dutton? Mr. Qehring (with a grin): “I'll tell you when you come back. Mr. Creig: “Now look a’heah, man, fire the boss, don’t let the boss fire you. Mr. Creig: “Take your man out in the woodshed and have an understanding with him. Mr. Creig: “Boys, write the names of five large cities, beginning with C. Student: “Is Chicago a large city? Umbrellas are nice things to have, When the rain is falling fast, And handy things they arc to lose, After the storm is past. But Mr. Gehring. (genius he), Keeps his within close beck. By wearing it, as ornament, Around his graceful neck. Mr. Johnston (addressing Thomas Albertson, who was staying after school): “What are you waiting for Tommy? Tommy (absent-mindedly) : “Oh, the bell. Miss Pardee: “It is believed that Washington never told a lie. Howard Caine: “He might have said. ‘Good Morning’ when it was raining outside. Miss Pittis (in Com. Geography): “I have a little bear at home carved from gypsum, and I’ll bring it down to school some day. Harvey Class (just coming out of a dream): “Is he alive? Little Willie: “Papa, what is a foot ball coach? Pa: “A foot ball coach, my son, is an ambulance. (0 Mr. Evans, what next?) Herr Gehring could tell us all something about German but he could never telephone anything about the language. 141
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Page 142 text:
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There were two girls from room six, Who did such cute little tricks, We thought they were dandy And bought them some candy These two witty girls from room six. There were two boys from room one, Who when their lessons were done, Strapped books in a hurry, And away they did scurry These two hasty boys from room one. There was a nice teacher named Gehring, Who, we thought, was one time quite daring, When he said, fit to kill, “Won’t you Seniors keep still? If you don’t, I’ll never quit glaring.” There was a tall senior named Margret, Who for questions hard was a target. She’d speak up in a trice And give an answer, so nice, That kind, supercilious Margret. There was once a teacher named Curry, Who never did things in a hurry. Slow, but sure was he And, as all could see, Kind, was this good teacher named Curry. Miss Beman: Define suicide. Student: To die with your will to die. First Flat: “Can you give me change for a nickel?” Second One: “Yes, what do you want, pennies?” Mr. Johnston: “I want every pupil to sign his name on this slip of paper, and be sure to sign the last name first.” Student: “Why can’t we put the first name last?” Mr. Johnston: “Because I told you to do it the other way.” “If Roosevelt was born in New York, where was Edna Born?” 140
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Page 144 text:
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Mr. Johnston (taking attendance in study room): “ Everybody who is not here today raise their hands.” Mr. Curry: ‘‘Those of you who were here yesterday, and are not here today will please stand.” Mr. Curry (speaking of the absence of ink): “Several districts have gone dry recently, this and the neighboring ward,” and he’s a temperance man. Heard in the region of a Soph home room: E. M.: “We had a test in bookkeeping today.” M. B.: “Did you, what did you have?” E. M.: “Questions.” Sporiirra’ agings Mr. Weimer (In Rhetoricals): “Mr. Hoover is looking for some one he can’t see.” Mr. Weber: “Now in Madison. Wis.” Mr. Harsh: “And the like of that.” Mr. Curry: “Ready, write.” Mr. Heald: “Quit, quitting.” Mr. Ditmer: “Now let’s get still, class.” Mr. Gehring: “Vass iss dass, Anna.” Miss Amidon: “Now pupils.” Mr. Craig: “Up on 3 and 4.” Mr. Warfield: “Foh-wad, ma(r)ch.” Mr. Harrison: “Time.” Miss Bandeen: “Girls.” Mr. McMyler: “Go to the board, class.” Miss Hildreth: “Does every oue know the lesson?” Mrs. Pardee: “What have you in your mouth?” Mr. Mauville: “Now, everybody sing.” Mr. Evans: “What did the Lord give you mouths for, anyhow?’' Mr. Hoover: “It takes some of you all day to get ready.” Mr. Dutton: “You get the idea, don’t you?” Miss ITadlow: “Now turn with me to page 27.” History Teacher: “Frank, who was Americus Vespucius?” Frank (without hesitation): “He was a Portugese salesman.” Mr. Weber (talking of hours of sprinkling): “If any of you doubt Lillian’s statement you might drop into the water department and find out.” 142
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