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Page 118 text:
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One leg of a chair on which a Senior boy is sitting gets into a hole in the floor in the chemistry laboratory. Mr. Harsh— Please don’t go through the holes in the floor. Nothing is supposed to go down there except waste water and foul gases.” J Teacher— What must a community do when there is no trade in that vicinity?” Pupil— Go where there is trade.” Teacher— Then if there is no paradise here, we would have to go where there is paradise.” Student— I don’t see where you get this inventory.” Mr. Craig— Well, well, just look in your pretty picture book.” Botany teacher to pupil— Explain the banana tree.” Pupil— The same bananas never grow on the tree twice.” Mr. Harsh— What is needed with soda to make soda biscuits?” Nichols and Bowman— Sour milk.” Mr. Gehring to a certain individual— Come hurry where you are going, quickly.” Mr. Harsh, talking of aluminum— Now, you see this piece of aluminum is very light; if I had a piece of iron the same weight as this it would be very much heavier.” Karlovec— What is a perpetual motion machine?” Downing—“A perpetual motion machine is a woman. Start her talking once and she never knows when to stop.” Mr. Harrison— Some people have the nervous habit of placing a pencil in the end of their mouth.” J Krauss says— People who live in glass houses are worth two in the bush.” 116
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Page 117 text:
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Page 119 text:
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Mr. Griffith, having been to the Hippodrome to hear Mme. Tetrazzini sing, was describing in the class the stage setting, and also the gown of the singer, from an artistic point of view—“You know, Class, Mme. Tetrazzini paints herself—I mean, I mean,—er—well—that is—she herself paints.” Mr. Harsh—“This aluminum weights .172 feet per pound.” Miss Pittis—“What is one of the by-products of the slaughter house? H. McAlpine—“Christian Science butter” (oleomargarine). J Miss Pittis—“Boys, our guest is Mr. Campbell, of Chicago.” Mr. Campbell—“Pleased to meet you.” Miss Pittis—“Mr. Campbell may be in the meat (meet) business.” Mr. Hoover—“What is said about the boy and his clothing, Ethel?” Ethel Whipp—'“I don’t remember about the boy and his clothing, but I do remember about the peanuts and lemonade.” According to mythology Io died of love, but chemists say Iodide of Potassium. J Pupil—“May I have an alumni tube?” Teacher—“What kind of a tube?” Pupil—“Oh, one that is graduated.” Miss Palmer, trying to play cornet—“Do you make those high notes with a different sound in your mouth or do you have to make faces to do it?” Martin giving a definition of “vestige”—“Vestige means remains. We put his vestige in the grave.” Krauss—“Give me a Payne.” Conductor—“Any particular place you’ll have it?” Nichols—“Anapest is a city in Hungary.” 117
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