Columbia University School of Engineering - Yearbook (New York, NY)

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The 1934 COLUMBIA ENGINEER a tepurt from murningsihe fEdifo1 s Note.-The followiifzg MS was found by Pop, colzciergc of the Ezzginceriiig Biziildiiig, CIIILOHQ some lfVf78'ZU7 lllL 7'L 1'10fCS in the trash bag which he maiiztailzs in the sal?-lyasemevit of the E7lg'll'LGE7'I'7Zg Bit'ild1'1zg. Due to the lack of cc1jJz'tal1'5at-ion, it was at first thought to bc an ojicial doczimeifzt, and was forwarded io the colii14zbia press. Latcif, lzowevcr, the complete' absence of jnimctziaitfiovi identified it as the prodiictioii, of some 0VLgl7l6'E7'1i1lfg school relative of Archiv, the sajvieiit cockroach, who made himself famoizs by lmttiiig out his literary f7l'0d'ZlClI'07l.Y on a typetwitci' belonging to Dori illa1'q1iis.Q turning its back disdainfully on barnard engineering stands facing the loney sycamore relic of bloomingdale days one foot in the innards of haremeyer the other prodding the soul and nose dispensary ' known as earl its head tangled in the wires of morecrofts radio enter please by - the right hand door and meet POD the bespectacled representative of b and g operating his ancient car on a schedule of his own passing out the while paper towels and chalk in single issues N straight ahead the den of our diminutive storage battery expert ever since the navy left columbia his voice has been husky now morton a is cooking up trouble for the makers of near telechron clocks to the right as the sign says is the c e testing lab here great bear water and a blue printing outlit are maintained pro bono publico surrounded by brinnell testers and other impedimenta bill and his cohorts guard the ante-chamber to the works which make little ones out of big ones to the left facing you down a long alley and past the committee on in solemn session is a green rug a humidifier and mrs jones shush this is merely the entrance to the ultimate instruction authority near at hand sits a benevolent walrus the gray haired friend of columbia men dumbbell theta tau alpha rho omega he can match each of nicks degrees with a traternity pm beyond under - the violet light is the marshal foch of engineering master ot our destinies and the teddy bear coat it takes two stenogs to keep up with his dictation if pop is busy you will walk to the next Hoor here is the home ot william stewart ayars and the department of civil engineering william tests new brands of cigarettes , while exercising his CO1'O1l2l nearby rauty the william jenuings bryan of industry interviews vice presidents and dismisses technocrats between bursts of riot and song from four fourteen directly opposite to the north is a row of cells the mechanics of fluids railroad spirals sewers and' foundations in rapid succession and dont forget our inspector sandwiched in between wyckoffs liling case and a map of bantam lake the cry of what what comes from the next cell occupied by the second mortgage expert of woodhaven the whirling derrish of curly integrals who differentiates between lip sticks and slip sticks Forty-sin:

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The 1934 COLUMBIA ENGINEER E X ierufessur jfink Beceihes Perkin Mahal 1-115 PERKIN RIEDAL FOR 1934 was presented to Professor Colin G. Fink of the Chemical Engineering Department on January Sth, at a joint meeting of the scientific societies under the auspices of the American Section of the Society of Chemical Industry in New York, N. Y. Professor Harold I-Iibbert, of McGill University, Montreal, Canada. described the accomplishments of the medalist, followed by the presentation of the medal by Professor Marston T. Bogert of the Columbia Chemistry Department. In his medal address which immediately followed the presentation, Dr. Fink spoke on Chemistry and Art, and told of the application of science to the preservation of marbles, ceramics, paintings, and metals. His work on the restoration of ancient bronzes is well known . The Perkin Medal may be awarded annually by the American Section of the Society of Chemical Industry for the most valuable work in applied chemistry. The award is made to any chemist residing in the United States for work which he has done at any time during his career, whether this work proved successful at the time of execution or publication, or whether it became valuable in subsequent development of the industry. The Perkin Medal was established in l906 in honor of Sir 'William I-I. Perkin, the founder of the organic dye industry. and it was first awarded to him. The medalist is chosen by a committee of representatives from the Society of Chemical Industry, the American Chemical Society. the Electrochemical Society, the American Institute of Chemical Engineers. and the Societe de Chimie In- dustrielle. There is a notable list of recipients including Leo I-I. Baekeland, Charles F. Chandler, Milton C. VVhitaker. and Irving Langmuir who are par- ticularly well known at Columbia. Forty-five

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The 1934 COLUMBIA ENGINEER down the alley you get locker keys and phone your next date before entering the rogues gallery on the right please have your cigarettes and matches ready there are weird doings on the third Hoor presided over by , steinmetzs little man friday imported direct from Schenectady his office is concealed behind the mens room left we have ' a d hinckley and the trap room V - of the electricall 'orchestra to the right is' 7 hehres schedule factory currys antique shop I and the electricians lounge the top floor, I 4, if you get - that far houses the little corporal and general lee experts in the confusions of descrip and the ventilation of drafting northward in cosy darkened igloos the photo metric spheres hold silent conclave aloft under the eaves the radio club punctures the ether with signals which interrupt my radio reception six floors below robert the c e robot mixes concrete while williams c es trouble man Forty-seven untangles the leads of purring dynamos to the south guarded by the hammerman who steals coats from miss meixells library is the school of mines home of doc Campbell tom read and the dusty miners you know doc he discloses the innards of metals with acid cogitating philosophically the while on the effect of a mixture of eutectic and scotch on on his own interior economy 'andf ' testing out his aberdeenian humor on daddy kern and tiny jette in the cellar bucky the cave man runs his scientific merry go round but i i keep away from the ore dressing expert he s a bear on punctuality and punctuation and would probably give me the flotation process exclamation point near on the north too near at times are hixson and morgan the houbigants of the chemical industry purveyors of olfactory delight to jaded engineering nostrils little link work and doc hnk the plating expert cl d jackson solemnly recording the paradoxes of trade wastes and companionate marriage among the colloids far far north just short of doc cooks best is the realm of the boiler makers in a great, , F brain factory- built from the proceeds of eno s potent salt crowned with eckerts copper derby mechanical engineering is sandwiched in between successive layers of astronomy physics and psychology the pousse cafe of academic housing but dont confuse thermodynamics or machine design ' the mental laxatives of doc lucke s power clinic with the love affairs of white mice or parr or eidmann baumeister or kayan hicks or dutcher specialists in the obstetrics of machinery with K the star gazers this would be worse tha being late for one of doc lucke s classes l envoi and yet they say that far from the whirl and strife of the city we lead a cloistered life no contacts with the varied temptations of the wicked world no human associations calculated to enlarge one s vision and endanger one s soul believe me the greatest show on earth has nothing on the educational pot pourri maintained on morningside heights by the trustees of columbia university in the city of new york